by JoAnn Durgin
“What’s up?” Vara bit her lower lip and fought the warring emotions within her. “This is my last day coming here to Cherish to help Charlotte.” She forced a small smile. “I don’t know why I’m an emotional ninny, but I am.”
“I think it’s because you know I’m leaving tomorrow.” Thornton tipped her chin. “Not that I want to remind either one of us, but facts are facts.”
“Right.” Vara needed to be strong, but this was hard for her. She’d never been good at good-byes. In fact, she preferred avoiding them altogether. “Thornton, I’m confused.”
“About me?” Planting his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him.
She nodded, feeling as though the weight of the world was settled entirely in her heart. “Is love enough?”
“I think it is,” he said. “To be clear, are you talking about God’s love or my love for you?”
“Never God’s love. That’s not in question.”
“Come sit with me.” Closing the door of his study, Thornton led her to the sofa. As usual, he waited for her to be seated first before taking his place beside her.
“Thornton, I told God I didn’t want a relationship, but that was wrong. It’s not my place to tell God how it’s going to be. And then He brought you—this completely wonderful, caring, and compassionate man—into my life. The man He knew would complete me and fill the holes in my life and in my heart.
“You’ve helped me to see that my past doesn’t define who I am, and that my heart wasn’t closed to love forever even though I’d thought it was. You opened my heart, unfolding it with patience and tender care. You’ve shown me it’s possible to love again, and you’ve shown me great love in return.”
“I love you, Vara. You have no idea how much.”
“And I love you, to, Thornton. But where does this leave us?”
He looked at her without answering for a long moment, and in his silence, a bit of her heart broke. “I can’t answer that right now. This is only my first job since coming back home to Cherish. I’ve stayed here longer this time than I have since starting my own business.”
Vara twisted her hands together on her lap. “I know. I don’t mean to sound clingy, or selfish, or heaven forbid, like an insecure woman.”
“Sweetheart, you knew this day would come. The day when I would need to leave. We’ve talked about it, prayed about it. ” Thornton’s voice was gentle as he wrapped his hand around hers.
“I know, but you’re not even sure how long you’ll be gone. It could six weeks or six months or more.”
“I’m going to come home as often as I can,” he said. “I’ll send for you to come to California, as well. I won’t work on the weekends, and I’ll definitely be earning frequent flyer miles coming back and forth to Minneapolis.”
“But how long can that go on?”
Thornton shook his head. “I can’t answer that. If you’d like a commitment—”
A tear dropped down her cheek. “I don’t want a commitment if it’s something you’re doing because it’s what you think you have to do to keep me waiting. That’s not it at all. But neither do I want you to come home because of some misguided obligation that’s wrapped around my ring finger.”
“What?” He shook his head, clearly befuddled by her words. “If you want a ring, we’ll go into the city today and pick one out.”
“That’s not the way it should happen. That’s not the way I want it to happen.” A few more tears slipped down her cheeks, and Vara wiped them away with the heels of her hands. “I couldn’t help but fall in love with you, Thornton. I think I’ve loved you from the first moment we met. I love you now, and I always will. But I need a man who’s going to be around. I tried to tell myself I could deal with your absences, but now…you’re not even on the plane for your first assignment, and I’m falling apart.”
A small sob escaped, and Vara clamped her hand over her mouth to try and stem the sounds. “I don’t think I can be in a relationship where a man only shows up once in a while. Where you’re gone for weeks or a month, and then return. We’ll have dinner and share private moments catching up and enjoying being together again. But then the next morning, I’ll discover you’ve gone off to Istanbul and left me a note or a text saying, ‘Babe, this has been great, but I’ve got to catch a flight. See you again in three weeks. Love ya.’”
Thornton leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs. “If you honestly think that’s what will happen, then you are mistaken, Vara. First of all, I’ve never traveled to Istanbul. Secondly, I’d never call you babe, and you’ve got a very active imagination. Not that I didn’t already know that.”
“Do you know what I find so ironic about all of this?” Time to call the man’s bluff.
“I’m sure you’ll be more than happy to tell me.” Crossing his arms, Thornton sat back on the sofa.
“Since I’ve known you, you’ve been such a staunch believer in love,” she said. “Anything and everything about love. You talk about love like it’s the be-all, end-all of humanity. Yet you globetrot around the universe at a moment’s notice whenever a client calls because maybe—just maybe—deep down, you’re not willing to stay in one place long enough. Because if you did, you might actually fall in love and want to stay somewhere long-term.”
Vara turned her head and met his gaze. “And that scares you.” She stared absently at the carpet on the floor of the study, desperately praying she could regroup. Slowly, she breathed, in and out, but trying to breathe while your heart is breaking is a difficult thing to do.
“I don’t expect you to be perfect or to always give me your best,” she said. “But I can’t be in love with someone who doesn’t want it all. There’s a line in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts’s character admits she wants the fairy tale.”
When Thornton gave her a blank stare, she kept going. “She’s the former hooker with the heart of gold who manages to soften the jaded businessman. She taught him to love. After he climbs the fire escape with a rose in his mouth to claim her, he asks her what comes next. And she tells him she’s going to rescue him right back.”
“Okay,” he said slowly. “And your point is…?”
“That’s what every woman wants, Thornton. No matter her background or his. She wants the man to be willing to give up something big for her. To sacrifice something important to him in order to be with her. To be her personal hero.”
The light of understanding surfaced in his brown eyes. “You want me to be Darcy to your Elizabeth? Is that it? Or are you comparing me to the jaded businessman? What do you want, Vara? Tell me what you want. Do you want me to give up my job? Are you making a choice between you and my work?”
“No, I’m not saying that. Because I know how important your work is to you. More than that, I love what you do, too. It’s a part of who you are, Thornton. A big part.”
“And unless I’m mistaken, you also love what you do,” he said quietly. “It’s not just a job for you, is it? It’s your life and you take great satisfaction in helping others, as well you should. Look how much you’ve done for Charlotte. She’s grown to love you, you know. As does Rose.”
His voice caught, and Thornton brought his fist to his mouth. Vara had never seen him show so much emotion, and her heart snagged on a little choke she heard deep in his throat.
Tears shining in his gorgeous brown eyes, he turned to her. “You’re not just a speech and language pathologist. As far as we’re concerned, you’re part of our family now.”
“Oh, Thornton.” The tears flowed freely, and Vara released her sobs.
Pulling her into his arms, Thornton rested his head on her shoulder. Soon enough, Vara felt the dampness on her blouse from his tears. “I don’t know the answer. God help me, I wish I did,” he whispered. “Can we agree to pray about it and take it a day at a time, a week at a time? We’ll see how this job goes and then try to figure out something.”
Vara withdrew from his arms, and she nodded. “Remember when we were talking about having
children?”
He nodded. “I remember.”
“And do you remember what you told me about wanting to be the dad…” She looked over at Thornton, willing him to understand her meaning.
“I said I want to be the dad who’s around.” He collapsed against the sofa, his head back, eyes closed.
Vara sat quietly beside him and threaded her fingers through his. “We need to pray.”
“I know. But first, you’re going to listen.”
“Excuse me?”
“Just let me do this, okay?” Thornton held up one hand, fanning out his fingers. And then, he began to sing.
Sinking into the soft cushions, nestled in the curve of the arm of the man she loved, Vara listened.
God will take care of you, be not afraid;
He is your safeguard through sunshine and shade;
Tenderly watching and keeping His own,
He will not leave you to wander alone.
God will take care of you still to the end;
Oh, what a Father, Redeemer, and Friend!
Jesus will answer whenever you call;
He will take care of you, trust Him for all.
God will take care of you, through all the day,
Shielding your footsteps, directing your way;
He is your shepherd, protector, and guide,
Leading His children where still waters glide.
As Thornton ended his song, his voice faded. He looked over at her, deep love in his eyes. “Thank you. You could have joined in, you know. It might have made it less painful.”
That made her laugh a little. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Mr. Fielding.”
He kissed her then, sweetly and softly. “Just keep me around, Miss Alexandris. Until the Lord can show us the next step, please keep me around.”
“That’s not hard to do,” she whispered, giving him another kiss. “I think we should pray now. On our knees.”
Taking her hand, Thornton slid to his knees first and then helped Vara to do the same. Then holding hands and bowing their heads and their hearts, together they prayed.
As they would continue to do as they waited upon the Lord for His answer.
Chapter Thirty
Four Weeks Later, Late March
George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Houston, Texas
Thornton’s stomach growled. The peanuts on the flight had only made him hungrier. If he hurried, he could grab a quick bite before boarding his connecting flight. Lost in thought, he whipped out his phone to check his messages as he disembarked his flight and headed out of the gate area. He figured his nose would lead him to the nearest restaurant or food court. Not paying attention, he inadvertently bumped into a man in a black Stetson.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, clicking off his phone and pocketing it. “I need to watch where I’m going.”
“It’s not a problem.” The guy stopped and tipped his hat. Man, he was tall. He’d always thought tall cowboys with Stetsons like this one were a walking cliché. Thornton felt reasonably sure he hadn’t been on his inbound flight from Los Angeles. Even preoccupied with his own thoughts, surely he would have noticed this man. He was hard to miss.
Thornton’s gaze moved upward a few inches. The urban cowboy seemed to be in his 40s, perhaps, although his temples were tinged with silver. Judging a person’s age had never been one of his talents. Besides the height, the guy carried himself very well and possessed the type of presence he’d rarely glimpsed.
“Are you related to John Wayne? Something about you seems vaguely familiar.”
The man laughed. “Afraid not. My dad’s name is Sam, and so is mine.”
“I’m Thornton.” Tucking his cell phone back in his jacket pocket, he offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Sam.”
“Same here, Thornton. There’s a creek in my parents’ hometown with your name. It’s where most of us kids learned to swim, and it’s always been a very special place for the entire family.”
“That’s great. I’m pretty sure there’s no relation.”
A smile creased Sam’s face, revealing deep smile lines. “Where’re you headed?”
“Minneapolis-St. Paul. I’m grabbing a connecting flight here.” They continued walking down the airport corridor.
“Is Minnesota home for you?”
“Yes. I travel a lot, but it’s where I grew up and my home base.” He’d been thinking about that a lot during the flight to Houston. Home. A man needed a home. In his heart, for Thornton, that was Minnesota, and it always would be.
“I was thinking of grabbing something to drink in the food court,” Sam said. “If you wouldn’t mind company, do you have time to join me before your flight?”
Thornton hiked his sleeve and checked his watch. “Sounds good. I have about an hour before I need to be at the gate. My stomach’s been pretty demanding, so I was thinking of getting a sandwich.”
By the time Thornton picked up his food order ten minutes later, Sam was already seated at a table, the black Stetson parked on an adjacent chair. They talked for a few minutes with Thornton answering Sam’s questions since the other man seemed genuinely interested in hearing about his life. Not only that, but he also listened to his answers.
Sam didn’t offer much about his own life except to mention he had a brother in the aerospace industry. Neither had he offered his last name. Thornton figured he must have a reason and needed to respect the man’s privacy. One thing resonated loud and clear, however—Sam was a strong man of faith. The kind of guy who, when he spoke, people listened because they knew what he had to say would be important.
“Are you thinking of settling down and not traveling as much?” Sam asked after Thornton answered his most recent question. He took another drink of his smoothie, made with peaches from the looks of it. Thornton had always thought the fruity drinks were more for the ladies, but perhaps not. So much for stereotyping.
After chewing a bite of his turkey and hummus wrap, Thornton wiped the corner of his mouth. “How can you tell? Is it stamped across my forehead?”
“Right. You have the look.” Sam’s chuckle was hearty as he handed him a napkin.
“Thanks.” It was difficult not to notice all the females who turned their heads at the sound of Sam’s deep voice. Judging by the looks cast their way as they’d made their way to the food court area, there really must be something about a tall cowboy in a Stetson and a Texas drawl that attracted the women in droves. Not that the guy was a slouch to look at, either. His wedding band was firmly in place, and Sam didn’t seem to notice the attention from the opposite sex or else he patently ignored it.
“I’m estimating you’re in your early-to-mid thirties, right?”
Thornton nodded. “I’m 34.”
“Speaking from experience, I know that can be a pivotal age for a man, especially if you’ve met a special woman. Jump-starts your thinking about your life.”
“Here’s the thing, Sam. My life was sailing along just fine. I was more than happy traveling the globe, and I love my work. Then two things—life events, really—happened to give me cause to rethink my life and question what I want for the future. Let me rephrase that. What I pray for in the future.”
“Sometimes when our lives are sailing along smoothly, that’s exactly when God chooses to shake things up. It keeps life interesting.” Sam’s blue eyes bore into his—not in an unsettling way, but in a way that conveyed I’ve been there, I understand. “If you want, tell me about those two things.”
Thornton nodded. “I sense you’re the kind of guy who gives wise counsel, and I could use some. I welcome it, actually.”
“I’ll do my best. In my estimation, there’s no such thing as a random meeting.”
“I’m beginning to understand the truth of that statement,” Thornton said. As it was, he’d originally been scheduled on a direct flight from LA into Minnesota with no stopover in Houston.
Finishing his bite, Thornton downed a quick swig of his drink and began. “
The first event was when my only living relative had a stroke back in my hometown. Then along came Vara, the beautiful speech and language pathologist who works with her.”
“You’ve fallen in love with Vara.” It wasn’t a question.
Thornton looked up quickly. “Yes.”
“You’ve told Vara, and she’s responded in kind?”
“Yes, but we have a conundrum.”
Sam nodded. “Tell me about it.
“If I continue with my current line of work, it’s a given I’ll need to keep traveling indefinitely. Vara doesn’t want to live like that.” Thornton scrubbed a hand over his face. “I get that, and I understand her feelings, but I don’t know the answer. It’s not like I’d be gone every now and then. I’m gone for weeks to months at a time. I love my work, but the traveling is a necessary component. Even though she hasn’t said it directly, I’m afraid Vara believes I’m choosing my work over her.” He looked up at Sam. “I’m not, but we’ve both known the nature of my job from the start. We’re both Christians and know God brought us together for His purpose. We’re praying about it, and asking God to give us the answer.”
“That’s an important acknowledgement.”
“The entire flight from LA to Houston, I’ve been stewing over the same question. Am I being selfish or unfair to Vara by wanting to continue with my work?”
“Not necessarily, but as you might know, a committed relationship is based on compromise from both parties,” Sam said. “First of all, Vara fell in love with you knowing this is your life. Think about this—is there a way to have both the career you love as well as a relationship? Is one exclusive of the other? Does one preclude the other? Could you possibly cut back on the traveling but not give it up altogether? Alternatively, is Vara’s lifestyle and job conducive to traveling with you at times? Is that something she might consider?”
“We haven’t gotten that far yet.” Chuckling, Thornton rubbed one hand over his beard. “I’m a big proponent of love. In fact, I think Vara believes that I’m in love with love. There might be some truth to that, but she’s everything I could ever hope for in a woman, Sam. That’s truth.”