by Kimber White
“Jessa.”
“No!” I started pacing faster. As I did, my pulse raced. But beneath it, like a second rhythm, I felt another pulse. Derek’s. He was in me somehow. Almost like I could feel his hot breath against the back of my neck. It raised the tiny hairs there and took the air from my lungs. Thunder inside my head. Inside my heart. I felt drawn to him, as if affected by a gravitational pull. But, he hadn’t bitten me. He’d barely touched me. But oh, when he did. When his fingers brushed against mine. The heat and fire I felt when I pressed my palm against his naked chest. I breathed when he did. I hurt when he did.
And now, I felt his pulse quicken with rage and a layer of fear.
“Shit.” I froze, then turned to Grammy.
We spoke in unison. “Tinker’s going to shoot him.”
I shoved the screen door open and ran toward the pole barn as fast as my legs would carry me.
Air stabbed my lungs. Red clouded my vision. No, not my vision. Preternatural rage poured out of Derek. He was losing control. I don’t know how I knew. But I knew. It could only mean one thing. He was cornered and fighting for his life. In the space of a heartbeat . . . his heartbeat, I knew what he was capable of. If my father really did pull that trigger, Derek wouldn’t just stand there and wait to die. Shift or no shift, he might burst through those cage bars and wring the life out of my father to save himself. And I would lose both of my men.
I burst through the door, hearing shouting. My father. Derek was beyond words. He gripped the cage bars, fangs out, eyes blazing gold. Still though, his wolf stayed trapped inside. This time, I felt the pain of that with him. The weight of an anvil against his chest, holding him down. Smothering. Unnatural. God. I don’t know how he could withstand the pain of it.
“Dad!” I shouted. My father held his gun trained on Derek. I don’t know what set him off. Or why he’d managed to hold back this long. My father was a wolf killer. Derek was a wolf.
“Better listen to her,” Derek said, his voice strained. The wound in his chest had closed, leaving behind an angry pink welt. And yet, he still couldn’t shift.
“Stop!” I said. I wasn’t foolish enough to put my body between Dad’s gun and Derek, but I put a steadying hand on my father’s upper arm and pulled him backward.
“I’ll kill him,” Dad raged, breathing hard through flared nostrils.
“Not right now,” I said. “There’s more going on than either of us understand yet. I just had a long talk with Grammy. I don’t understand all of it, but I understand enough. You can’t kill Derek. I won’t let you.”
My father reared back as if I’d slapped him. But, he finally lowered his weapon. The instant he did it, Derek’s pulse slowed to an almost human rhythm.
“And why the hell not?”
This time, I did put my body between my father’s and Derek’s. I felt Derek behind me. Tethered. That’s the word Grammy used, and that’s what I felt. With my back turned, I felt drawn to him.
“Dad,” I said, keeping my voice level and calm. “I need you to go outside and wait for me. Derek and I need to talk. Alone.”
My father opened and closed his mouth, reminding me of a beached fish gasping for air. But, when my grandmother whistled for him from the yard, my father narrowed his eyes at me, slung his weapon over his shoulder, and turned to go.
I turned around and faced Derek.
Chapter Eight
He gripped the bars of the cage; muscles rippled in his chest as I took a step closer. The air grew thick between us. Hot. His eyes flashed, this time not from the threat of danger, but because I was close. I took another step, my chest rising and falling with measured breaths as I tried to shut out the maddening, summoning rhythm of his heart. One more step and I would put myself within arm’s reach of him. I took that last step.
Had Derek grabbed me then, I might have tried to pull away. I’d been this close to him before. Closer. Yet this time, it mattered more. Grammy told me what he was to me. I didn’t understand it, but I couldn’t lie to myself. Not anymore. Though I didn’t know what it meant, I knew it was true, somehow. I was . . . his. Somehow.
But, Derek didn’t grab me. Instead, he took a step back, giving me space. I curled my fingers around the bars and looked at him. Really looked at him. Not as prey. Not as the demon I’d been raised to believe he was. But as a man.
He was beautiful. Every muscle sculpted to perfection, from the curve of his thigh to the tapered V of his hip where his jeans hung low. And his chest. A fine dusting of soft, brown curls covered his pecs then led a trail down. Heat pumped through me, settling low in my core as I followed that trail with my eyes then blushed to the roots of my hair. I brought my eyes slowly back up. His neck. Corded, strong. A muscle jumped as he swallowed hard. Stubble covered his jaw, and his lips had a natural curve as though he perpetually smirked. I wanted to run my fingers through the thick, soft curls at the crown of his head and smooth it down and back.
“Derek,” I finally said, gripping the cold steel bars so tightly I wondered if maybe I could break them.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” he said, his expression soft, barely more than a whisper. “Not ever.”
“My grandmother.” My words were choked. Hollow. I didn’t know what to say.
Derek looked down. When he met my eyes again, pain flashed through his. Regret?
“What happened to your grandmother is not how we do things. That’s the first thing . . . the only thing you need to understand.”
“How do you know what happened to her? How could you possibly?”
“I recognized her. I knew she was marked. Since she’s not living with wolves now, I put two and two together. She’s one of the Odawa, isn’t she? One of the lost girls.”
“Taken by wolves,” I spat. “People like you.”
He shook his head. “No. Not people like me.”
“What do you mean?” Rage bubbled up inside me. For her. It came unbidden as if pent up in my DNA. Wolves had hurt Grammy. Broken her. She would never tell me all of it. She didn’t have to.
“We don’t force ourselves on women, Jessa. That’s not our way. Not in Wild Lake. A wolf protects his mate with his life. So does his pack.”
I believed him. I didn’t want to admit it. I knew what my heart told me, but my brain still had so many questions. “I know exactly what wolves are capable of. This isn’t Wild Lake. Werewolves kill. They hunt. And they kill. There has never been a werewolf in Banchory that wasn’t here to do murder. To people, Derek.”
He flinched. The muscles in his shoulders clenched and he dropped his head. He took a step forward but still kept his distance from the bars. He put his hands up in surrender. “Something’s happened down here. The Kentucky wolves are in trouble. We’ve heard rumors for years. The way they live, it’s not natural. That many weres controlled by a single Alpha? It’s driving them mad, I think. A few of them have broken off and tried to make trouble for us up in Michigan. Drive us off. That’s why I’m here. I was sent to try and find out what’s going on.”
“Where’s your pack, then? Grammy said it’s not natural for you to be without them if you’re their Alpha.”
Derek nodded. “She’s right. But I know the rules. Even stepping foot across the border puts me in violation of our peace treaty with the Kentucky pack. I didn’t want to put my pack in danger until I had a better idea of what was going on down here. That’s one reason. The other is for my own protection. The other wolves can sense me alone. But, if I were traveling with the other four members of my pack, it would put us all in that much more danger. They’d notice. If I’m by myself, there’s less chance it’s going to be viewed as an act of open warfare. One wolf could be a mistake. Five of them is a statement.”
“So what do you want?”
He dropped his shoulders. “I want to know who hired you to kill me, for starters. Somebody knew I was coming. That means we might have another traitor in Wild Lake.”
“For starters?”
D
erek smiled. “Well, yes, Jessa. But now . . . things have changed a bit.”
“Because of me.”
“Because of us.”
“What if I don’t want it?”
He took another step forward. I stayed rooted to the spot with my hands gripping the cage bars as though they kept me from floating away.
“I told you. We don’t force ourselves on women. And frankly, we don’t usually have to. What is your heart telling you right now? Listen to it. Closely.”
I didn’t have to listen closely. It thundered in my ears like a bass drum. With each step Derek took, the pull between us grew that much stronger. Undeniable. Kinetic. I knew if he touched me, the world might become light and stars. I almost couldn’t contain it.
“What does it mean?” My voice wavered.
“What does it feel like?”
I let out a bitter bark of a laugh. “It feels like you’re inside me. I can’t breathe. I can’t shut it out.”
“Do you want to?”
I couldn’t answer. Not yet. “I don’t know you.”
“Yes, you do. You know everything you need to know already.”
“No!” Too much. I pushed away from the bars and paced just like I did back in my trailer. The more agitated I became, the calmer Derek seemed to get. He just stood in the center of that damn cage with his hands crossed in front of him, waiting me out.
“You feel like . . . like. I don’t know!” I flapped my hands in front of me. Still, Derek didn’t move.
“Yes, you do. Say it.”
I let my breath out hard, like I was bracing to do a dead lift. I paced more. “I can’t. I can’t even think it.”
“Yes. You can.”
“Fine!” I whirled on him. I stormed up to the cage, getting just an inch from the bars, though I wouldn’t touch them again. “You feel like . . . like mine!”
When Derek smiled, my heart imploded. I wanted him. God. I wanted him. He was right. Goddammit. He was right. And smug. And standing there watching me spin myself into the ground. All I wanted to do was touch him. Have him touch me. Kiss him. Throw myself at him. My nerves lit with wildfire, sending waves of desire through me. This was elemental, instinctual.
“I don’t even know you.” I said it again, meaning to shout it, but it came out as a whisper as I brought my hands up and gripped those bars again.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?” I waved my hand in the space between us. “You knew, didn’t you? From the very beginning. You looked at me. Your eyes did that . . . that wolf thing. You knew.”
“Didn’t you?”
“No!”
He smiled again. He still hadn’t moved from that same spot at the center of the cage.
“Okay, yes. There was something. I’m not . . . well . . . I’m not that bad a shot.”
He laughed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked again.
Derek finally took a step forward. But, just a step. He didn’t come close enough to touch me. “Well, the thing is, Jessa. You shot me!”
I opened my mouth then clamped it shut, realizing as an afterthought I must have looked just like my father. I started to pace. “Well.”
“Well what?”
“Well,” I turned on him and crossed my arms in front of me. “Well. I’m sorry.”
He took another step forward. “Thanks. It means a lot.”
“Now you’re just being sarcastic.”
“No. It really does. Are you thinking of shooting me again?”
“Constantly.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it.”
I pressed my forehead against the bars. “Tell me what it means. This mate thing.”
“You belong to me. If . . . you want to.”
“Grammy has a bite mark on her neck. She called it an Alpha’s mark. You would do that? If . . . if I let you.”
“Maybe.”
“Why maybe?”
“It’s a big responsibility. Maybe I wouldn’t want the hassle.”
“You’re teasing me again.”
“A little.”
“That’s how she knew you were an Alpha. If I let you bite me, would it make this feeling go away? You know. The part where I can feel your heartbeat. At least, I think that’s what I’m feeling.”
“No. It would make that even stronger. But, you’d want it. It would become part of you.”
“Tethered. That’s what Grammy said. She was tethered to the Alpha who did it to her until the bastard finally died. Killed by another wolf who wanted to take his spot.”
“That’s generally how that happens, yes. With Alphas, I mean. Not with marking. Again. Can’t stress enough. Consensual, Jessa.”
“Good. What about you? Is that why you have those scars on your face?” I drew three fingers down my own temple, simulating the wound Derek bore.
He nodded. “Yes. This happened when I became an Alpha. I challenged my pack leader, and it got a little intense.”
“You killed him.”
“I did. But it wasn’t brutal. Well, I mean . . . sure it was. But, it was meant to be. He was older. His time had come. More importantly, my time had come. It was noble. It was natural.”
“A mercy killing?”
“Yeah. Except for the part where he tried to rip my face off.”
I wanted to touch it. The urge to curve my fingers around Derek’s face took my breath away. I couldn’t stand not touching him. Noble. Natural. Oh, God.
“You have four other wolves in your pack?” I tried to steady my erratic pulse. A shadow came over me. Not a shadow. Something warm. As if Derek reached out and put an arm around me. His even heartbeat stilled mine, making me calm.
“Yes,” he said. “Adam, Cameron, Owen, and Steven. Owen is my brother. The others grew up with me. There were more. The old guard from the pack leader I took over from. But, they’re all gone now.”
“You live together?”
“We hunt together. We fight together. We’re connected. But no, we don’t live together.”
“Do they know about . . . uh . . . what I did to you?”
“I haven’t exactly had a chance to text them or anything.”
“Oh. I just thought, uh, you said you’re connected.”
“They’re six hundred miles away. There’s connected, and then there’s connected.”
“Oh. Okay, good. I don’t suppose they’re going to like me much considering I shot their Alpha.”
“They’ll get over it.” Derek’s eyes danced with mirth as he took another step toward the bars. I gripped them tighter but didn’t move. My words became a barrier as much as the cage bars did. A shield. With each step he took, with each steady beat of his heart, a different kind of wall disintegrated.
“Jessa,” he said, his voice soft but commanding.
“What?”
“Come here.”
“I’m right here.”
“Are you going to let me out of this cage anytime soon?”
“That depends. At the moment, I think if I did my father would probably put another bullet through you. And let’s be honest. This time it would probably kill you.”
I said it as a joke, but the instant I did, terror tore through me. God. The idea of losing him. If I hadn’t been holding on, I might have dropped to the ground then and there.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Give me a chance to talk to your father. I need his help, anyway.”
“You’re not getting better, are you? The toxin.”
Derek’s eyes went dark for a moment. “Well, I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out. I feel stronger. But my wolf is still . . . stuck. It’s not very pleasant.”
“God. Derek. I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t know. I thought . . .”
“Shh. No more apologies. I won’t hold your past prejudices against all werewolves and your trigger finger against you; you won’t hold me responsible for what happened to your grandmother or anyth
ing the Kentucky wolves have done. I can make you this promise though. If you want it . . . I’ll lay my life down for you. For her too. That’s what fated mates really means, Jessa.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. Derek took that last step and curled his fingers around the bars just above my hands. His breath blew sweet and hot in my face. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against the bars. At this angle, we were eye to eye. My breath hitched. It was time. I had to know.
“Derek,” I whispered.
“Yes, Jessa.”
“I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be.”
I leaned forward. We had just a four-inch gap between the bars. I pressed my lips against his and we kissed. Fireworks exploded inside my chest. My feet seemed to lift off the ground. He was warm and good, his lips urgent, probing, but soft somehow too. Oh, God, he tasted so good. Like honey and musk all at once. Blood roared in my ears and I wished I had the strength to pull the bars apart. If they hadn’t been there I might have let him take it further. I wanted him to. Oh. I wanted him to.
“Derek,” I gasped, coming up for air. Then his lips were on me again. We slid down until we were both seated on the floor, our hands laced through the bars. I curled my fingers around the nape of his neck. His hair was soft and thick, just like I knew it would be. Heaven. Mine. Down and down I spiraled, overcome with desire so hot I thought I might melt from the inside out.
Fire crackled all around us. My body thrummed, throbbing between my legs and the soft spot at the base of my neck. The place where he would mark me if I let him. Oh, God. I wanted to let him.
“Jessa!” My father’s shout came to me like a gunshot. Derek pulled away first, scrambling backward.
“What? Huh?” I shook my head to shake the lust clouding my thoughts then hauled myself to my feet.
Fire still crackled. I blinked hard to clear my eyes. I turned to my father. Orange flames danced behind him, and finally, the smell of burning rubber reached my nostrils.
“The yard’s on fire!” Dad yelled. He threw the keys to the cage at me. I caught them one-handed. “Time to move!”