“You’re staring at me.” The scowl that had plastered Raven’s face since she’d arrived at the classroom vanished.
“Just thinking.”
“About what?” She moved in closer, and their knees brushed.
The warmth coming from beneath her painted-on skinny jeans tingled along Jude’s arms and swirled around his stomach. “What kind of woman you are.”
“Oh? You’ve already sized me up. What’s the conclusion?”
“You’d have yelled at me. Banged a pot over my head. Kicked me in the butt.” Laughter crawled up Jude’s throat, and he chuckled.
“For what?”
“Ignoring you. Us. Everything. You don’t strike me as a woman who accepts being ignored.”
“No, I don’t. And you strike me as a man who’d never cheat, even when she’s not putting out.” Raven’s lips formed into a coy grin, the same brash sneer as her brother.
“Putting out? Nice way to say...” He couldn’t say sex.
“Sex?” The way Raven had said the taboo word, she might as well have blown in his ear like Brigitte Bardot.
More heat warmed Jude’s face. “I think we’d better change the subject.”
“Why?” Raven almost seemed to snort. “Y’know, everyone seems to tuck it in a corner like a flashing purple elephant. If not for sex, this world would be empty, wouldn’t it? Even the birds and bees do it.”
“It’s not a proper conversation one has with their student.” If Raven said the sex word one more time, Jude’s dick might join the discussion.
“I don’t buy into Western civilization’s view of sex. I’m Anishinaabe-kwe. We were never chaste, but encouraged to explore our desires. The only thing frowned upon was if we married too many times, so we ensured to choose our husbands wisely. Your church is responsible for trying to make us into pure virgins, when we were never virginal to begin with.”
Jude couldn’t will away the constant heat on his face. All during Raven’s rant she’d held his stare, unashamed of her God-given sexual desire. Finally he responded, “One shouldn’t use another to fulfill their wants. I was taught to give than receive.”
“Who said anything about using? When two consenting adults hook up, they give pleasure and also receive pleasure.”
“Hooking up?” He stifled his scoff. “Yeah, that’s it exactly. You’re using each other to get your rocks off.”
“Nope. We’re using what Creator gave us. And we choose who we’ll pleasure and allow that person to pleasure us.”
All this talk about pleasure, sex, arousal... Jude stood. If he didn’t, the sticky heat coating his arms and legs would travel to his crotch, which had already begun to warm. “We should start your lesson.”
“I’m not finished.”
Jude set his hands on his own desk. He faced the whiteboard. “I don’t think—”
“I’m traditional. I believe I can spend the night with a man if I choose to.”
“I see.” He chewed on his inner cheek.
“I get it. You’ll be sinning if you hook up.”
“It’s not hooking up to me.” He kept facing the whiteboard. And he didn’t care about pleasing God or the church anymore.
“Neither is it to me.”
“You told me seconds ago when two consenting adults hook up—”
“I spoke in general terms. Did I once say, when I hook up?”
“No.” Jude ground his knuckles into the top of the desk. “Why are we discussing this anyway? We should be talking about analytic geometry.”
“I can’t remember how we got on the subject.” Raven giggled.
Her sassy chuckle grazed the back of Jude’s ear. Every muscle wound tight. Because... dammit, his hot crotch wished she’d come up behind him and slide her arms around his waist and giggle in his ear, even nibble on his lobe. He’d turn, take Raven’s slim face in his hands, brush his mouth against her red-painted lips and find out how bold of a woman she was.
“Well?”
The word bumped on his spine. He swiveled. “Uh... what?”
“Didn’t you hear me?” Raven’s elbow rested on the desk. Her fingers twisted around the strands of black hair cascading across one breast.
“No. I was thinking how to steer this conversation back to analytic geometry.”
“I asked if you wanted to stop our discussion.” Raven’s husky reply was sandpaper brushing Jude’s skin.
Nope, he didn’t wish to end their discussion, but as her educator and a gentleman, he must. “Do you?” The answer tumbled from his mouth with the same heat swathing his skin.
The color drained from Raven’s face. “Your voice. It gets deeper. It’s not as serious when...” She glanced away.
Jude gave himself an illusory pat on the back. Up until now, she’d gotten beneath his skin, scratching him like a playful baby lynx. Yes, a lynx, because Raven was as dangerous as a full-grown female. She’d been in kitten mode earlier, but this woman was as feral as a big cat on the prowl for a mate to snarl at, scratch, and bite.
“When what?” With confidence swelling his chest, he swaggered to her desk. He set his hands on top and leaned in.
Raven flipped open her notebook and textbook. “Analytic geometry.”
Jude snickered. She wasn’t a man-eater. “Analytic geometry. Okay. Let’s begin your lesson.”
* * * *
After a half hour of their lesson had passed, Raven was finally able to accept the warmth coming from Jude’s firm body, the breaths from his mouth when he spoke, and the scent of the rainfall-scented bar of soap he’d undoubtedly slathered over his skin.
He’d tenderly taken her through analytic geometry. He’d gently explained lectures one and two. He’d kindly used examples she could understand. And she did. She could complete her next two lessons because of Jude. Not once had he’d used big words, over-the-top illustrations, or shaken his head in frustration. He clearly wanted her to learn.
She closed the textbook. “Thank you.”
“You’re quite welcome.” His black eyes reflected his satisfaction.
“You’re good at your job. Why become a principal?”
“Because I want to make sure my teachers provide the same care that I do when I teach. My main job is managing the administrative tasks of the school and supervising the students and teachers. I don’t want a school to succeed for my ego. I want my school to produce students who learn and teachers who enjoy helping students learn.”
“I think you’re gonna do a great job here.” But if Clayton became chief, he’d send Jude packing, because Clayton didn’t want some goddamn Catholic apple—red on the outside, white on the inside—turning our children, our children’s children into goddamn Catholics.
“Everything okay?”
Raven swallowed. “Yeah.”
“You don’t seem so. You just scowled.” Jude bared his dimples. He could look rather sweet because of those indents beneath his cheekbones. Less serious. Maybe the deacon appeared the same way when he smiled. “C’mon, we talked about me. What about you?”
His teasing words seemed to walk along Raven’s spine in a playful manner. “It’s hard for you to understand. You’re...” Perfect.
“I’m what?”
“I bet you never had a bad day in your life.”
Jude laughed lightly, shaking his head. “I’ve had my bad days. Bad moments. Bad weeks. Even bad months.”
“Riiight. Tell me another one. You’re the kind of man who joins his buddies somewhere on the weekend for a couple of drinks and then goes home.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“That’s what I mean. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” His smile vanished. His dark eyes searched hers.
“For starters, I’m the youngest. Fawn’s forty-three. Clayton’s forty-two. Lark’s forty-one. Wren’s forty. Then I came along. I’m thirty-one.”
“You’re like Emery. He was a surpri
se baby, too.”
“And I bet you watched over him.”
Jude’s strong jaw tensed.
Raven had guessed correctly. He’d played big brother to the hilt, the way Clayton did, since under tradition as the eldest and only male, his job was to take care of the family.
“They all turned out fine, y’know.” Raven gripped her pencil. “My sisters are married. Have kids. Made Mom a grandma. Clayton lives with his girlfriend. They foster his girlfriend’s nephew, Tyrell.”
“And you?”
“What’d you think?” Raven half chuckled and half snorted. “Gonna be three years for me this coming summer.”
“My brother-in-law, Adam, proved people can change.” Jude’s tone remained deep, even when he tempered his voice.
“I knew Adam well.”
“That’s right. I recall Bridget mentioning you dated one of Adam’s old buddies.”
“I was...” Raven wet her lips. “I was always known as the fuck-up.” There, she’d admitted it.
“And?”
“You don’t get it, do you? I bet if your life was still super-perfect, you’d look at me differently.”
“My life was never super-perfect.” Jude’s voice remained supple. “My divorce more than proves that.”
“Before your divorce...”
“It wasn’t perfect either. Otherwise my marriage wouldn’t have sunk.”
“Don’t blame yourself. She let a great catch get away.” And Raven wasn’t tossing out flirty words to stroke his ego like she’d done in the past.
“Yeah?” He quirked his brow.
This was dangerous territory. They were knee to knee. Breath to breath. Only her jeans and his dress pants kept their skin from touching. She shuddered, because her clit was throbbing.
She more than wanted Jude, and not for a one-night stand either. But a Matawapit? She wasn’t his type—Miss Perfect Catholic who only believed in sleeping with someone she loved.
She was the bad girl mothers warned their sons to stay away from.
Chapter Seven: Don’t Shoot Me Down
Raven was the type of girl Mom and Aunt Patti would’ve disapproved of when Jude was in high school. But he wasn’t in high school. He was an adult, and he and Raven sported thick bruises from life’s many kicks.
“Do I get a ride home again?” Flirting was new. He hadn’t flirted in years. Unless his ex-wife counted.
“Sure. It’s cold outside. Y’know, I could’ve gotten you.” Raven’s hands trembled.
She was nervous. So was he. Heart pattering a little too fast. Saliva gone sticky in his mouth. A smidgen of sweat at the back of his neck. He’d only gotten divorced last month, after a year of separation required by the province of Ontario. Raven was a recovering addict sorting out her life. But she’d been sober for two and a half years.
“We should...” She licked her lips. “I guess we’re done, hey?” She reached for her parka.
Jude’s stomach drooped a smidgen. He stood. “You’re right. We should get going. I have to finish packing.”
“Going back for the weekend?” Raven zippered the coat.
“Bright and early. Emery and I are returning the U-Hauls. And I need to get my kids and the truck.” Jude forced himself to the teacher’s desk. He donned his coat and slid the files into his briefcase.
Part of him anticipated seeing Noah and Rebekah, but the man who’d spent since the age of nineteen enjoying a healthy sex life needed a companion for the night. He was more than a father, teacher, so-called Eucharistic minister, so-called lector, and so-called member of the Catholic Men’s Association. He was a flesh-and-blood man. And his flesh burned hot for a real woman, not one on his laptop undressing ala burlesque style.
“Ready?”
Jude swiveled, clutching the briefcase. Raven stood at the doorway, hugging the books against her chest.
“Yep.” Jude strode across the floor.
They meandered down the hallway as if neither wanted to reach the main door. Jude wasn’t in a hurry. He was returning to an empty house that wasn’t a home yet. Once the kids arrived, maybe they’d add something to the cold place devoid of warmth only a family produced.
“You working tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I get Sundays and Mondays off.”
“Those the quiet days at the diner?”
“Sunday is, but Mondays are nuts.”
Their footsteps were the only sound present. A click click from his boot heels, and a smoosh smoosh from her mukluks, reaffirming they’d reached the dreaded uncomfortable silence.
Jude couldn’t ask for a date. His parents would freak. His brother and sister would freak. Okay, maybe not Emery. But Bridget... oh boy.
Raven pushed on the door. A blast of cold and the familiar scent of winter swept into the building.
“How’s your, err, brother doing?”
“He’s fine.” Even with the icy air nipping at their skin, Raven didn’t dash for her truck. She kept dragging her feet along the walkway.
Jude ambled beside her. He stole a peek at her face hidden by the faux fur lining of her upturned hood. Screw it. He’d been alone for too long.
“How about a coffee?”
Raven stopped. Her mittened hands drew the books even tighter against her parka. Tight enough to show off her flat stomach hidden beneath the barrier of clothing.
“We... um... yes, sure, but can we go somewhere besides the diner? I... um... I work there all day. It’s, uh, the last place I wanna be.”
Jude swallowed. “Sure. Where do you wanna go?”
“Uh... what about the staff room? We’re already here.”
“True.” Downtown and Old Main were the hub of the reserve. And they both lived in the busiest areas of the community. “I’d like to say yes, but I can’t use the school for... err... personal business. And having a cup of coffee off the clock would be... personal.”
“What about the church?”
“The church?” Shock gripped Jude’s spine. Miss Anti-church and religion was willing to go to a place she hated, just so people wouldn’t see them together, but was desperate enough to be with him that she’d step inside a place she considered the annihilation of their once prosperous race?
Dad had given Jude a key, first thing he’d received upon moving here. Funny how he’d been annoyed at receiving it, thinking he might be able to put in his obligatory Sunday for the sake of his kids and family. Now it came in handy.
“Okay. To the church.” There was a nice seating area at the back where the chair lift staircase was located.
* * * *
Talk about desperate. Raven had to be out of her mind to suggest the church. If her family found out, they’d lose the smidgen of respect they had for her. But where else could they meet without anyone seeing them? Nobody ventured down Church Road but the people who went to church. And at nine-fifteen at night, the only person around was Father Bennie, since he resided at the rectory across from the church, but at his age, he’d probably gone to bed.
Most of all, she was risking her chance at the diner.
Raven kept her foot on the gas pedal as she headed for the Grassy District or Catholic City known by her family. Normally, she drove straight to take the road to the nursing station or the baseball field. She turned right onto Church Road.
Neither had spoken during the drive. Her heart kept an even thump because they’d talk at their intended destination.
She couldn’t fathom Jude making out in a church, not her good little Catholic boy. Uh, wait. Her good little Catholic boy? He didn’t belong to her. And she didn’t belong to him. They shared a mutual attraction. Way more than an attraction. She itched to see him take off his clothes, and he no doubt felt the same way.
The lights were out at the rectory. Raven pulled into the church’s parking lot.
“Keep driving to the other door.”
“How many doors does this place have?”
“Three. One beneath the car port.” Jude pointed. “And one that faces the lake. The other is the main door up the stairs to get into the church. We’re using the basement. There’s a seating area where Father Bennie or Dad meet with parishioners who need spiritual guidance.”
Raven stopped at the main staircase. The steps led to a landing and then up to the church entrance. She switched off the truck.
Jude dug inside his parka and produced his keys.
“That’s a lot of keys.”
“I always have this many. It’s no different here.” He chuckled.
“Keys to where?”
“Everywhere.” Jude got out.
Raven followed him to the door beside the main set of stairs. She stamped her feet and spanked her mittens together. Exciting? Positively, absolutely yes! She was about to go on an unofficial date with a guy who’d never have spared her a glance in high school if she’d lived in Thunder Bay.
“What is it?” He opened the door and flicked on one light from the set lining the wall.
“You woulda looked away from me if I’d gone to your school.” Raven shut the door and shrugged off her parka.
“Maybe your assumption’s wrong.” Jude also shrugged off his coat. He motioned at her to follow.
He turned on one row of lights and led them to the front of the basement. Or the back. Or whatever church people referred to both entrances as. There were two doors with signs indicating the men’s and women’s washrooms.
He opened another door and led them into a room. With a flick of the light switch, a spotless kitchen appeared.
“Lemme put on a pot.” Jude sauntered to one of the many cupboards and withdrew the coffee supplies.
“You come here lots, don’t you?” Raven glanced around at the off-white cabinets, main sink, another big sink, fridge, and oven. Two shutters above the counter closed off the kitchen to the main area. This was probably where the women served food.
“Oh uh... yeah. Before the move, the kids and I attended Mass here if we were visiting. We’d also drop in if something was going on.” Jude readied the coffee.
“What else happens, besides church, and... Healing the Spirit.” Raven squirmed, thinking of her own family’s protest when the workshop had taken place two falls ago. She’d eagerly held one of the signs stating the Catholic Church should never receive forgiveness for what it’d done to Canada’s Indigenous People.
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