by annie nadine
“Lovely night,” Baden said from the shadows. Annie closed her eyes in relief. She quickly pulled her hair back with the dagger and tried to see through the dark. Giving up she laid back down, facing away from where he stood by the window, to try and show him that she wasn’t in the mood.
“Baden, I am tired and need sleep. What is it that you want?” She felt annoyed. He could appear whenever it pleased him and she had no say in it. If he came declaring his love, that would be a different matter but when he visited he just confused her even more.
He walked over and laid down in front of her on top of the bed covers, sliding dangerously close to her. She looked up at him nervously, unsure of what to do with him so near. He leaned over and gently tugged the dagger out of her hair, allowing her tresses to fall down her back and across the pillow
“I like it when you wear your hair down,” he whispered as he leaned over and placed the dagger on the bedside table. She had been irritated by him just a moment ago but now she had lost herself. How did he do that? “Annie,” he said her name whimsically. “What am I to do with you?” He looked at her carefully.
“I am unsure of what you mean,” she said softly. He slid his hand across the mattress, closing the short distance between them, and touched hers that was resting beside her.
“You make me forget myself,” he admitted. Finally he took her hand in his and used his other to pull her even closer, so she was lying right in front of him. They faced each other as they rested on their sides. He pulled her hand up and inspected it very closely.
“Is that something I should appreciate?” She asked watching him. She liked the soft look on his face. His eyes moved to her and he thought for a long moment before he slid closer. Their faces just inches apart on the pillow.
“At first that terrified me more than any other thing has in my life,” he said seriously, as if he was admitting to a crime. “I had just returned to this town and as soon as I saw you I had decided to leave.” She wasn’t sure where the confession was headed but it felt like it was building up to something big. “I was on my way, never to return when I came across you in the graveyard that night.”
“Oh,” she said breathlessly.
“I was running from how you made me feel but when I found you there it caught up to me. After I carried you back to the manor, later that night I realised that I loved you.” He said the words so tenderly that she stopped breathing. “The thing that frightened me the most was that you might love me back one day.”
“Baden, I…” But he cut her off.
“You should not,” he said before she could tell him how she felt. She was hurt that he didn’t want her love. “And I should not want you…” She looked away from him trying not to cry from his words. “But I do.” She quickly looked back to him and he leaned even closer. “Your friend said that love is not something that just falls into your lap. Once I would have said that it is something that does not exist at all, in any form. I have seen betrayals between brothers, affairs between marriages and murders for motives of evil pleasure.”
For reasons he could not explain his heart started beating fast with nerves. It may have been that he was fearful to kiss her but he knew he was going to. He just hoped with everything in him that it would be enough, that his love would be enough.
“But I think your friend may be correct in saying it does not fall into your lap.” Annie felt disappointed that he would agree because even without knowing him she felt for him something she had never felt, and probably would never feel, for anyone else. He continued after a pause. “It is more like a gushing torrent that knocks you over and it takes all of your strength just to move to the surface. But when you take that first breath you realise that before that moment…you had not been breathing at all.”
Annie had read sonnets and plays and even had people tell her about love but it all meant nothing in comparison to how she felt from Baden’s words. He leaned in closer so their lips were almost touching and he lingered there for a moment, deciding whether to kiss her. He searched her face and then rested his gaze to meet her eyes. It felt like he would if he didn’t kiss her, if he didn’t show her how he felt. The thought of hiding it from her any longer was almost too much for him to bear because he needed her to know. He needed her to see what was in his soul. And the only thing left within him was her.
So knowing how he felt and what he knew of himself, he pressed his lips against hers. When he felt Annie’s soul do nothing but bathe in ecstasy his relief was paramount and he pulled her body against his.
Her lips moved with his and even though this was her first kiss, somehow they found their way around his lips as if they fit. Like they were made for his. She thought his taste was something she would never tire of as she drank him in. Her hands crept up into his hair and he gripped her back from the thrill of it. He almost lost all control within him to hold himself back but somehow he managed to restrain it. He would do anything to make her feel safe. So before they could lose themselves in the moment Baden pulled away just enough to break their kiss. Annie was left breathless and wanting more, Baden was left in euphoria. His heart beat fast and for the first time in years he felt human again.
“I love you.” He sounded a fool to his own ears, as did all the others he had heard declare their love, but this time he understood why they suffered the cynicism.
“I love you,” she said with a small smile. He pulled her closer into him and she rested her head against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and let out a breath of relief. This was going to change everything about him but somehow he wasn’t afraid to let it.
This time was different for Annie. When Micah had told her he loved her it did nothing but fill her with fear. But loving Baden did nothing except fill her with a certain peace and joy that can’t be felt unless you are in love.
And in this one small moment in both of their lives they had the illusive instance of unadulterated belief that their love would be enough, no matter what obstacle foreshadowed them. Time would prove either them or human nature wrong. The question was which one would it be?
CHAPTER 16
The next morning Annie woke to find Baden awake next to her. All of a sudden she felt vulnerable with him and it felt good. He smiled at her as the sun shone on his face and lit up his blue eyes. It made her feel warm
“How is it that you look rested and made for the day, where as I am dishevelled and exhausted?” She asked as she rubbed her face to try and push away the sleepiness. He chuckled at her cute behaviour whilst he played with a curl of her hair.
“I think you look quite appealing, Annie,” he said with a certain look in his eyes. She had seen that look from other men but this time she realised what it meant. And she felt it too.
Just as she was about to return his playfulness with her own, the smile fell from his face and a scowl replaced it.
“What is the matter?” She asked anxiously.
“I believe Eli has just arrived home,” he informed. Annie had no idea how he would know that. Baden stood up from the bed and walked over to the window abruptly, swinging them open so he could leave. He avoided looking at her as her eyes trailed after him. “I must be going.” His words sounded blunt and she didn’t know why he had changed all of a sudden. She sat up quickly and jumped out of bed in panic.
“Wait, would you like to meet him?” She offered. Losing some of his irritation at the interruption he turned and sat on the windowsill. He took a moment to look at her, to let her soul calm him.
“Maybe another time,” he said reluctantly. She rushed over to him and grabbed his hand, stopping him from leaving. He looked down at their clasped hands and then at her. He allowed the rest of his anger to fall away and he pulled her close, kissing her briefly. His soul warmed, feeling the thrill from holding her.
“Until next time,” he promised. She couldn’t help but smile because she knew the reason he would come back was because he loved her. As he moved to leave she quickly kissed his che
ek. He paused and a smile spread across his face, then he was gone.
Before she could spend half the morning day dreaming, an awful clatter sounded from downstairs, then she heard Eli yell. Falling back to reality she ripped off her night dress and threw on a simple yellow dress, pulling her hair back with her dagger. She ran half way down the staircase, pausing when she saw Garrick clearing the hallway of luggage that was strewn in Eli’s wake.
“Garrick, what is going on?” She asked as she ran down the rest of the way. He looked to her, dismay on his face.
“Mr. Brighton’s trip did not happen according to plan,” he explained. Annie jumped when she heard a loud bang come from the library. She started walking to the room but Garrick gently held her arm and stopped her. “I am not sure if that is wise,” he warned. She hesitated before she decided to continue.
“I cannot claim to ever have been wise,” she said defiantly before she went to the library.
The mess she came upon was shocking. Daggers had been darted across the room and lodged into the wood of the book shelves. Pillows were scattered across the floor, furniture pushed out of place and the contents atop his desk was in shambles. Eli sat hunched at his desk, hands holding his head. She approached him cautiously and stopped a few feet away from the desk to keep some distance.
“Eli…” He already knew she had walked in but he only looked up to her when she said his name. He rested his chin on his fists as if he had given up on everything. “What is the matter?” She asked. He took a breath before he spoke.
“Nothing,” he said flatly. He stood and started fixing the mess on his desk. She couldn’t believe he was trying to act as if nothing was wrong, when clearly there was.
“Eli, when nothing is wrong you do not attack your own library,” she reasoned.
“It is of no importance,” he persisted.
“Tell me,” she demanded, not giving him an option. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her.
“I was going to meet my brother but he did not come,” he answered as if that would be enough.
“I am so sorry, Eli,” she said regretfully, sadness obvious in her voice. To her surprise he started laughing.
“Do not feel too dejected on my part, Annie. It was not going to be a pleasant reunion.” He spoke as he continued to clean.
“Possibly one day it might be,” she said trying to find hope in the situation. He threw the papers down and gave up.
“It will never be. He is dead to me and there is nothing on earth that will ever change the situation.” She nodded, stopping herself from saying anymore. She turned to leave to give him some privacy but before she made it out the door he spoke. “Sorry,” he said.
She turned to him and, though there was a whole room between them, she could tell that he needed her to stay. She mazed her way through the now dishevelled room and towards him. He stood watching her make her way and he almost lost his efforts against his tears from the kindness and forgiveness she was showing by coming to him.
When she finally made it around the desk and to him she didn’t hesitate to embrace him. He rested his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Sorry,” he whispered again.
“Do not be sorry,” she whispered back.
Garrick came to the open door but stopped when he saw them. He turned silently and left them to their moment. He couldn’t help but hope that Eli would smarten up and pursue that girl before she was lost to someone else.
After a long, comfortably silent embrace, Eli pulled his head back and looked at Annie.
“Thank you,” he said gratefully. She smiled at him in hopes to cheer him.
When his gaze started becoming more intense her smile dropped a little. He moved his head towards her and she panicked. She wasn’t the kind of girl that told a man she loved him the night before and then kissed another the next morning. She subtly moved her head away then pretended something had bitten her.
“Ouch!” She yelled and he pulled his head back, looking at her in question. She bent down and grabbed the lower part of her leg and he released her from his hold. “There was a sudden pain in my leg,” she lied. She hobbled over to the closest chair and sat, rubbing her leg. Eli followed her and knelt at her feet. He lifted her leg into his lap and looked to her.
“May I?” He asked. She nodded, not being able to think of anything to stop him. He lifted her dress to just below her knee and inspected the part of her leg that she had been holding. He ran his hand along the back of her leg and took his time with the inspection. It sent a shiver down her spine but she covered it before he noticed.
“Anything?” She asked trying to maintain her act. He carefully placed her foot back on the floor and covered her leg before answering.
“Everything looks fine,” he diagnosed.
“Must have been one of those things,” she said hoping Eli hadn’t already cottoned on to what was happening. He leaned his arm on one of the chair’s armrests and smiled at her.
“Annie, it is not a crime to not kiss me,” he said. She smiled shyly at being caught out. “Just know that if you change your mind, I will be an option.” He said it so sweetly that she almost wanted to kiss him.
She looked at his soft lips and thought about what they might feel like against hers, wondering if he had a special taste like Baden did. Before she could go any further with the thought, she snapped herself out of it and looked around the room.
“This is quite a mess!” She sounded a little flustered, even to her own ears. She hoped with everything in her that she wasn’t blushing. “We must get to cleaning,” she suggested trying to change the intense subject. He nodded with a smile, taking her hint.
“Do not bother yourself with my mess, I will clean it.” He stood and moved back to his desk to start straightening his things.
“Nonsense, you are my friend and friends help one another,” she said merrily. She stood as she spoke, as if to affirm the words. He couldn’t help but smile at her thoughtfulness.
“Very well, if you insist then I cannot say no,” he conceded.
It took an hour to clean the entire library but soon enough the library was restored to its former self and their friendship was looking more improved by the moment.
CHAPTER 17
Annie was walking to the kitchen one day when Garrick came back from town, bringing some letters in with him.
“Here, Garrick. Let me take them to Eli for you,” she offered to spare him from taking it. He smiled kindly and handed the letters to her. He hadn’t even had a chance to look through them yet.
“You are too thoughtful, Annie,” he complimented, impressed by her benevolence. With a smile she was off to deliver the letters.
As she took the letters with her to the library she flicked through them just to see how many there were. One in particular had lovely writing and it caught her eye, she placed it at the top of the pile so she could see it better. The writing addressing the recipient was elegant and classic. She couldn’t help but admire the swooping curves and the noticeable effort the writer had put in. She walked into the library and found Eli at his desk. He looked up and gave her a ready smile.
“Eli, I have the letters from Garrick for you. I must say that the person who wrote on this one has the loveliest hand,” she commented as she held it up for his inspection. As soon as he saw the writing his smile dropped and he stood up immediately. She stopped before she reached the desk and he hurried over to her.
“It is from my brother,” he said as he took the letter from her. She held the others as he broke the wax seal. He read it quickly then looked up at her.
“What does he want?” She asked feeling desperate with anticipation.
“He said he is coming here.” Eli looked horrified. He moved over to his desk and started ruffling through the papers. He found a blank piece and started writing.
“Why is that not good news?” She asked curiously, she was unsure of why he was so panicked.
“Annie, we must arrange temporary accommodation for you. I cannot explain why but for the period of his stay you will be residing at a property I own, it is a few minutes ride from here. I will provide you with a horse in case of an emergency but no one must know you are there. Do you understand?” Eli spoke as he wrote. After he had signed his letter he blew on the ink then folded the paper. He left it on the desk as he rushed towards the door.
“Eli, do not be silly,” Annie said as she followed him. He ignored her and stopped at the door, poking his head around the corner.
“Garrick,” he called down the hall then walked back to his desk. Annie followed him around, feeling completely lost in it all. Garrick walked into the room and stopped when he reached the desk.