by Sandy James
“Like your niece,” Dani said. “Have you and your parents talked about what’s gonna happen to Emma now?”
“Aren’t they keeping her?” Juliana asked. “I mean, they had her while Tiffany was in Afghanistan, right?”
Beth nodded. “But having her there was already getting to be a problem. They were going to send her to me for the summer, maybe longer.” Something she’d been looking forward to, loving the idea of coming home to a friendly face instead of an empty apartment.
“You said their condo’s in a fifty-five-and-over community,” Juliana commented. “If they want Emma to live with them permanently, they’ll have to move. Not that a retirement community is a good place for a kid, even for a short time.”
“Yeah,” Mallory added. “Definitely not kid-friendly. No playgrounds. No libraries. No other children.”
Dani shot Beth a fierce frown. “And then there’s Carol filling her head with the same nonsense she gave you.”
“I know, I know. You’ve all got a point.” Beth heaved a sigh. The choice was obvious to her if not to her friends—just as obvious as it had been when she’d made up her mind last night. “I’m taking Emma.”
“For how long?” Dani asked.
“Forever.”
“Aren’t you worried about your job?” Dani immediately asked. Her sympathetic tone grated Beth’s already frayed nerves.
“Lots of single moms are teachers,” Beth replied, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. She needed to think good thoughts to help her make this scary leap. “I’ll just have to adjust. Emma needs me.” And I need to do this for Tiffany. For myself.
“I’m sorry, Beth,” Dani offered. “I didn’t mean to sound so angry. I’m just worried about you. You’re right. Emma needs you.”
“It’s the only solution.” Something Beth had decided in those wee hours of the morning as she’d held Emma and fretted about the child’s future—and her own. The soldier who brought back Tiffany’s body also provided the family with documents she’d filed with the army. Tiffany had requested that Beth raise Emma. How could she not honor that wish?
Sleep had eluded her, and she’d spent most of the night lost in thought. She’d brought back memories of Tiffany. Some good, some not so good. Every now and then, Emma stirred, and Beth soothed her back to sleep by rubbing her back and humming softly the same way she’d soothed away Tiffany’s nightmares when they were children.
She’d stroked the baby’s soft curls, breathed in her sweet scent, and realized that Emma represented her future. That beautiful little girl was all Beth had left of Tiffany. She’d hold on tight and never let go.
“We’ll be here to help,” Mallory said with a nod. “My stepdaughter would love to babysit.”
“I’ve got tons of baby stuff to share,” Jules added. “Two of everything, in fact.” She winked. “Anything Craig and Carter outgrow is yours. What is Emma? Eight months?”
“Nine.”
“Perfect. She’ll have lots to choose from.”
Although she’d known the Ladies would support her, Beth fought tears at the generosity of her friends. “Thank you.”
Robert came back, carrying a babbling Emma, who’d been passed to him by her grandmother. She seemed fascinated with his tie, and judging from the stranglehold she had on it, she was close to choking him.
“Here’s Aunt Beth,” he said, trying to get the baby’s chubby fingers to let go of his tie.
“Is that what she’ll call you?” Jules asked. “I mean, she’s not likely to remember Tiffany. Shouldn’t you be Mommy to her now?”
“I… I don’t know,” Beth replied. “I hadn’t even thought about it.”
“Mommy?” Robert shifted Emma to his other hip, where she began to contentedly toy with his shirt buttons. “You’re taking her permanently?”
“Yeah. My parents can’t. Besides, she needs stability right now. Mom and Dad would have to move and—”
“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said with a lopsided smile that charmed her. “I know you well enough that I’d already figured you’d be bringing her home with you.” After giving Emma’s nose a quick tweak, he passed her to Beth. “Need any help getting her stuff home? That car of yours doesn’t hold much.”
Beth gave him a playful elbow in the ribs. “Hey! I like my Beetle. But no thanks on the help. She doesn’t have much anyway. Just what Mom and Dad brought with them from Florida. I suppose there’s more in Tiffany’s apartment.”
Sweet Lord, there was so much she’d have to do in the days to come to wrap up her sister’s life. The apartment needed to be cleared out. All of Tiffany’s things had to be sorted and a decision made about what to do with them.
How difficult would that be? Beth had spent so much time with Tiffany before her deployment. Every corner of that apartment would hold a memory of time she’d spent with her sister before Emma was born. They’d both been so busy—Tiffany with Emma and Beth with school—that they’d seen less and less of each other. Then came the deployment.
Not only would Beth have to deal with the things her sister left behind, but Tiffany’s money would have to be handled carefully to ensure Emma had all she needed, including a college education.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed, Beth bit hard on her lip to keep quiet. If there wasn’t something good to say about a situation, better to stay silent. And better to keep from crying in front of everyone. She’d learned that lesson well as a child. Carol always taught her girls to keep their feelings to themselves, that showing emotions simply wasn’t acceptable.
Sniff back those tears; swallow that anger.
“If you need help with anything, we’re here for you,” Mallory said, watching her warily.
Beth nodded and tried to find her voice again. “M-Mom and Dad can help.”
“So can we,” Jules added.
Robert drew closer and tousled Emma’s curls. “Me too. I’ll be there for anything you need.”
“Thank you all.” Beth kissed Emma’s cheek, setting the baby to giggling.
The sound filled Beth’s heart with joy.
This was the right choice, being a mother to this beautiful little girl. No matter how difficult it became, she would see this through.
“Well, then.” He set his hand on Beth’s shoulder. “I’ll see you at the model home Saturday? Or is that too soon?”
“It’s fine,” Beth replied. “See you then, Robert.”
He’d gone only a few steps before turning back. “You sure you don’t need me?”
What she needed Robert couldn’t give her—a strong man to lean on. No matter how much she wanted him to fulfill that role in her life, a desire that seemed to grow each day, she’d never let him know it. If she so much as hinted that she needed him, he’d bend over backward to be there for her.
But not as anything more than a friend, and she sure as spit didn’t want him to feel obligated to be with her just because of Emma. Besides, in all the years they’d been friends, he’d never once even hinted that he wanted something more.
“No, but thanks, Robert. Have a safe drive home.”
“You too.”
Chapter Two
Beth pulled her blue Beetle into the carport at her apartment complex. She would’ve breathed a sigh of relief if she hadn’t been so exhausted. What she wanted was a glass of merlot, a hot bath, and to sleep for the next twelve hours.
She’d probably get none of those things. In the three days it had taken her and her parents to handle Tiffany’s affairs, Beth probably hadn’t slept more than six total hours. There had simply been too much to do, and Emma demanded a lot of attention, something Beth provided while her parents acted relieved to let her shoulder the caretaker role.
Emma had cried the whole trip back to Cloverleaf. It was only eighty miles, but after four stops, the journey lasted more than three hours.
What had happened to the quiet, shy baby? Did she miss her mother? Her grandparents? All she did was cry or sleep.
Emma’s only response was a babble, which was much better than her earlier screaming.
Shouldn’t she know a few words by now?
She should’ve found a way to spend more time with Tiffany after Emma was born. There’d always been something keeping her in Cloverleaf. A school activity. Proctoring the SATs. A weekend excursion with the Ladies Who Lunch.
Beth found herself a stranger to her own niece, a baby who now depended on her aunt to raise her. When she got the chance, she’d have to get her butt online and educate herself quickly on how to be a good parent.
After killing the engine, Beth raked her fingers through her mop of curly hair, which was longer than it had been in years, now brushing her shoulders. Why everyone told her how much they’d love to have her hair, she’d never understand. She considered it unruly and a darn nuisance.
Would Emma feel the same about hers one day?
Coming around to the passenger door, Beth opened it, flipped the front seat forward, and reached into the back to unbuckle the car seat. At least it wasn’t nearly as difficult getting Emma out as it had been getting her in. That had been pure slapstick.
First, Beth had to fit the contraption in the backseat of her tiny car. Then the seat belt had to be threaded through the base, but it wasn’t long enough. So she’d added the extender her mother used in her own car. Then the rest of the seat was supposed to pop in.
It didn’t. She hadn’t realized she needed an engineering degree simply to operate a child’s car seat.
How long would Emma even need one? This one fit her perfectly now, but what happened as she continued to grow? While her teaching job made her somewhat of an expert on handling teenagers, Beth was nothing but a rookie when it came to babies.
After several minutes of fumbling with latches and hooks—and worrying about Emma’s increasing agitation—Beth finally got the baby out. She grabbed the overstuffed diaper bag, slung it over her shoulder, and then stared at the rest of Emma’s stuff piled next to the car seat base and on the floor of the passenger side.
How was she going to get it all inside? She couldn’t leave Emma alone while she hauled it all in. Could she? Wouldn’t that make her negligent?
Emma was the first baby she’d ever been around, and although she’d planned to take care of her this summer, she sure wasn’t experienced. While she might’ve held Jules’s twins from time to time, she’d never babysat. They employed a nanny, Aubrey Stanton. She was a sophomore in college, and she earned money to pay her tuition by taking care of the twins. Since Juliana and Connor were Realtors, their hours were flexible, and they easily worked around Aubrey’s class schedule. A match made in heaven.
Beth would have to look into day care just as soon as she could. She’d already missed eight school days, the limit the school offered for bereavement, plus all three of the personal days she received each year. Since she still had things to do for Tiffany’s estate and to acclimate Emma to her new home, any time away would come from her accumulated sick leave—if the school corporation allowed it.
When she’d explained the changes in her life to her boss, he’d been sympathetic yet stern. She needed to get back to work as soon as possible.
No wonder. The first round of annual testing to evaluate the students’ progress was approaching. Add to that Beth’s Service Learning class, a hands-on course where the students earned credit by doing projects for the community. A substitute teacher simply couldn’t do what she could.
She dropped her keys twice before she was able to get the apartment door open while simultaneously holding Emma’s carrier. Once inside, Beth set the carrier down and finally got Emma out of it.
A look around the apartment revealed a disaster area. After the call had come about Tiffany’s death, Beth had gone on autopilot. The arrangements were handled by phone, made easier since Tiffany had filled out a directive about what would happen if she died on her tour of duty. There were instructions on everything from where to have her funeral to which cemetery to bury her in.
Beth sighed, resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to do much about the mess or about the two of them living in a studio apartment that was one enormous room with an attached bathroom. She hadn’t picked the place out for any reason other than it was inexpensive. The low rent allowed her to save money to buy a house one day. She hadn’t expected to be sharing it, especially with a child.
“We’ll just have to look on the bright side, Emma. It’s cozy. It’s cheap. And we’ve got each other.”
Emma chose that moment to arch her back and let out a wail that could wake the dead.
“What do you want, sweetie?” She’d been fed. She’d been changed. She’d been given time to play. “Tell me what you want.”
The wail continued, and Beth had her hands full trying not to drop the baby. Figuring the best thing she could do was let Emma stretch after the long trip, she set her on the floor. Then she grabbed an afghan and spread it out before moving Emma onto it. “Here you go. Sit there while I get the rest of your stuff.”
All Emma did was roll to her stomach and scream some more.
Dropping to her knees, Beth patted her niece’s back. “What? What can I do for you?”
“No, no, no,” Emma snapped at Beth. “No!”
So she did know a word. “No what, Em?” Good Lord, trying to figure out what a child that age wanted was more frustrating than dealing with a classroom full of the moodiest of teenagers.
Emma flopped over to her back and started kicking, all the while crying as though someone were trying to murder her.
Beth leaned over her and was rewarded with a foot to the face. Her hand shot up, covering her throbbing nose. At least it wasn’t bleeding.
“Knock, knock.”
She whipped her head around to find Robert standing in the open doorway, holding quite a few of Emma’s things. His handsome grin made her stomach flip. “Robert! What are—”
He didn’t even let her finish. “Figured you might need some help when you got home.”
Although she wanted to ask him how he knew she’d returned, she still had her hands full with Emma. The baby was now on all fours, wailing as she crawled toward the door faster than should’ve been possible.
Robert came inside and set the folded playpen, the high chair, and the bag of toys by the couch. When Emma reached him, he picked her up, tossed her in the air, and laughed.
Darn if the baby didn’t start laughing in return as if she hadn’t just spent all that time screaming.
Beth sat there on the carpet, watching Robert handling Emma as though he’d raised a brood of his own. “Where did you learn to do that?”
“Do what?” he asked before he blew a raspberry against Emma’s neck, setting her to squealing in happiness.
“That. Get her to be happy. She’s done nothing but cry from the moment Mom handed her to me.”
Settling Emma against his hip, he gave Beth one of his crooked smiles, the kind that always made her smile in return. “Thanks to having four siblings who breed like rabbits, I’ve been around ten different babies. Boys. Girls. Different ages and very different temperaments. All boils down to one thing—don’t ever let them see your fear.”
He’d been to her place only once, and she’d cleaned it extensively before he’d arrived, wanting to show him how she could turn even a small apartment into something homey. The wretched condition of her apartment made her cringe. “Sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?” He strode to her overstuffed chair and plopped onto it. After a few moments of holding and murmuring to Emma, she fell asleep in his arms.
Instead of answering him, Beth sighed. “You’re amazing.” And she meant more than just the way he handled the baby. The man was the whole package. Cute. Talented. Witty. Why he wasn’t already married was beyond her.
“Nothing to it,” he replied, lowering his voice when Emma stirred slightly. “Just takes experienc
e.”
“Something I don’t have.” The urge to start cleaning overwhelmed her, so she snatched up the afghan, folded it, and laid it back on the couch. “I’m sorry this place is such a mess.”
“Like you’ve got anything to apologize for. You’ve seen my house.”
“Yeah, but… you’re a guy—and my boss.”
“Stop it.” He glanced down at the sleeping Emma. “Where are you putting her bed?”
Beth frowned. “She doesn’t really have one. I guess she can sleep with me on the foldout. Why are you frowning at me?”
“It’s dangerous to sleep with a baby in the bed. God, I’m sorry. That sounded preachy.”
“No, no.” A frustrated sigh slipped out. “I don’t know anything about this. I suppose it’s easy for the baby to fall out?”
“That, and you don’t want to roll over on top of her while you sleep.” His gaze wandered the studio. “You’re gonna need a bigger place now. Why are you in such a small apartment anyway?”
“I don’t need much. It’s cheap, clean”—she looked around—“usually clean, and easy to take care of. I’m socking everything away to buy a house. Juliana was going to help me search for one this summer. After all, I’m thirty now. It’s… well, it’s time.”
Robert got to his feet and kept Emma cradled against him. With one hand, he popped open the playpen and snapped the sides into place. He looked as though he’d been a father his whole life. What came so naturally to him was an enigma for her.
“What do you mean time?” he asked.
How was she supposed to explain it to him of all people? “I… It’s…” She finally just blurted it out. “Since I’m probably not going to have a husband and kids—”
“You’ve got a kid now,” he reminded her with a wink. Then he nodded at the playpen. “Grab that afghan and spread it on the bottom.”
Beth jumped to do as he asked. “Yeah. I suppose I do. Instant mom.”
“And who says you’re not getting married? Thirty isn’t old, for shit’s sake.” His gaze dropped to Emma. “Need to watch my language now.”