by Nancy Naigle
“It’s not hard. I feel like a princess,” she admitted, but reminded herself that this wasn’t her lifestyle.
“I know it’s crazy timing, but I had to tell you how I feel.” He held a finger to her lips before she could respond. “Don’t say anything. I just wanted you to know.”
It was true that being with Cody was easy, but her heart wasn’t open to those kinds of thoughts. He was a welcome distraction and he’d saved her when she didn’t think she could bear to go on, and a wonderful man, no argument there, but....
“Don’t get me wrong. I can see us being great friends—lifelong friends, but my life is a mess. I married my one true love and my heart is in a million pieces. I’ve been so worried about my little boy I’ve barely grieved for Nick. I won’t say I’ll never be in a relationship—because never is a risky test—but I can tell you right now I can’t even imagine it.”
Did I just turn down Cody Tuggle? They’ll certify me crazy for sure.
“You don’t have to explain,” he said.
“My only priority is my son. Being a mother to Jake was the best thing I’ve ever done. I have to find him. I appreciate your help. If he’s out there, it’s your help that is going to bring him back.”
“I’m glad I can help you.”
She cocked her head. “My turn to change the subject.” She wiggled her brow trying to lighten the mood. “Have you ever been close to getting married?”
“Close? Sort of.”
“So there was someone special. What happened?” Kasey settled in for the story.
“It was a long time ago. She was ready. I wasn’t. She found someone who was. End of story.”
“Ouch.”
“You can say that again.” Cody recoiled like he’d been slapped. “Guy swept in while I was doing a string of bar gigs. He owned an Italian restaurant. Stuck the ring right in the middle of a plate of spaghetti. Didn’t sound so romantic to me, but she went for it.”
“You should hear how Nick proposed to me.”
“No spaghetti, I hope.”
“No. He slipped a rubber fishing worm around my finger. I wore it for a week until we had time to get a real ring.”
“I’d love to have seen that.”
“It was sweet.”
“Guess you had to be there.”
“Yeah. Like I said, when it’s right you know it, and even something hokey like that comes off like Prince Charming.” She smiled. It was nice to remember the good times with Nick. “Any of those early hit records about her?”
“Just about every one of them. Damn near broke my heart, but I wanted to perform. Music is in my blood. She just couldn’t wait.”
“Sorry.”
“Yeah. Were y’all married a long time?”
“Nope. I must have gotten a dozen proposals over the years. Riley teases me that I could have a charm bracelet from all the rings guys insisted I keep. Things just never felt right until I met Nick. I knew the day I met him that he was the one.”
“That’s how I felt about Lou,” Cody said with a nod. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“Lou? That ought to have stirred up a few rumors.”
“Hey, don’t laugh. Her name was Bettie Lou. We just called her Lou for short. Bettie was too prissy for her.”
Kasey twisted in her seat and belted out a verse of Bettie Lou’s Got a New Pair of Shoes.
“Funny. Do you think that’s the first time I’ve heard that?” Cody laughed and shrugged it off. “Be nice.”
“Sorry. Have y’all kept in touch?”
“No.” A big grin spread across his face. “We didn’t part on the best terms. She probably has two kids and a dog. I blew it. Why bother?”
“You never know. Marriages don’t last. People change. She could’ve been your one true love.”
“You believe in that crap?”
“Sure.” Kasey folded her hands in her lap. “I do. Mine was perfect.” She shrugged. “You ought to look her up sometime. It might be fun to catch up, live in the past for a little bit.”
“Maybe I will—if If you don’t think I’m your one true love.” He said it playfully, but there was a glimmer of hope in his words.
“You’ve been a wonderful distraction, but I could never live in this world, and you could never live in mine.”
With that, he tipped her nose. “Never say never. That’s risky.”
“Touché.”
“I’ll let you get back to your work,” he said.
She shifted her laptop back into her lap and tried to concentrate on the behind-the-scenes pictures she’d shot. This tour had stolen America’s heart, and by being on tour with them, Kasey had the chance to show the real man behind the music and provide fans a peek behind the scene. This group, the band and crew, really seemed like an extended family—Cody at the center. That came out in the pictures. Fans would love them. There was no trail of half-dressed groupies in his life. He poured every ounce of his energy into his performances. A positive vibe came through in all of the pictures. She was excited to be the one behind the camera to share this aspect of Cody with the world
Kasey smiled at the shots of the band and crew cooking burgers and eating off paper plates—far from the glamour people would expect to see from such a successful band. And even though Cody was the reason they all were on tour, he acted like one of the gang. The guys and gals enjoyed the simple things and the meaningful things. The few band members who were married had wives and children in tow. Unlike a mechanic who never turns a wrench when he gets home, or the landscaper whose yard is full of weeds, the band members jammed almost every night into the wee morning hours. It wasn’t work but rather what they truly loved.
But the group’s creativity didn’t stop at music. They’d rigged a basketball net on the back of the bus. It probably wasn’t regulation height, but no one seemed to care. They played hard, cutthroat to the point of needing a designated referee for their games.
There were touching moments too, like when Cody visited the children’s hospital to say hello to some of the young patients and brighten their stressed parents’ days. Kasey let children take pictures with her big camera and promised to email their shots to them. The children were elated. The smiles and tears in the parents’ eyes, as they watched their sick children glow with the excitement, was a reward she wouldn’t soon forget. Cody’s schedule had been tight, yet no one would have known. He moved at a leisurely pace and gave one-hundred percent to those folks. The children and their parents had been his priority at the time. Everything else had to wait.
At the end of each week, she completed proof sheets so Arty and Cody could choose favorites along the way. That helped her make sure the shots encompassed the diversity they needed for the book. It was already being hyped.
Kasey posted the top three blooper shots on the bus bulletin board after each concert. It was quickly becoming a tradition. She easily picked up on some of Cody’s quirks, like his love for barbecue. Barbecued chicken, ribs, pork, beef, goat, even potatoes and corn. If someone barbecued it, he’d eat it. Not only did he love to eat barbecued anything, he also loved to grill. They had a fancy one loaded right there on the bus, and Cody spent a lot of time grilling for the gang.
Kasey had captured dozens of pictures of Cody in different barbecue eateries, big and small, across the country. It was in a small barbecue shop in Texas that they’d teased about Cody becoming the next Bobby Flay and having his own barbecue cookbook. Arty Max grabbed that idea like a pit bull on a steak. He’d already pitched it to a New York publishing house, and they were thrilled with the idea. Kasey and Cody agreed to go to the famous Annual Texas Goat Cook-off over Labor Day weekend to kick off that project.
The tour was successful—from the west coast across the Midwestern plains, and now working its way up and down the east coast. Sometimes they hit four cities in as many days with little down time in between. The tour had been well organized, yet there were a few times that Kasey wasn’t sure which city they were in. I
tineraries posted on the plane and buses helped everyone stay on course.
Kasey was exhausted, but it felt good to have control over something again. She had plenty of sad nights, but more often than not, she was so tired she didn’t have time to think. She thanked God that Cody had turned up when he did and offered her this escape. The photography work was mindless. She got lost in the creativity, and no one needed or wanted anything from her. What a relief.
The busy schedule relieved her from making any major decisions and of the emptiness at home. She just followed along. Even in the hurried pace of it all, she knew that Christmas was around the corner. She hated to think of facing it alone.
The whole Tuggle clan and all of their family members would gather at Cody’s ranch for a three-day Christmas celebration. They’d invited her, but she didn’t want to bring anyone down so she’d declined.
“You can’t skip Christmas,” Cody insisted.
“I can try. I know I can’t wish it away, but the holidays are going to be hard and I don’t want to drag anyone else’s down with me.”
“You won’t. You have to come.”
She shook her head. “I—”
“I happen to know you don’t have anything better to do. You may as well join us. You can get more pictures. Who knows. You might just have some fun while you’re at it.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll come. But if I get weepy, you have to promise you’ll send me to my room.”
“It’s a deal, but I plan on making sure you’re fine.”
On Christmas Eve, they’d sung Christmas carols into the wee hours of the morning, then everyone exchanged gifts. Kasey had created collages for each of the band members and road crew to commemorate their role in the big tour. Everyone loved them. It was what she did best, and the project had kept her mind in a good place.
She got gag gifts from the road crew, and her obsession with red licorice garnered her more of the stuff than she could eat in a lifetime. The drummer had even taken the time to weave hundreds of red licorice ropes into the shape of a cowboy hat.
The break for Christmas proved to be fun and relaxing. As much fun as the break was, the band and crew, including Kasey, were all ready to get back on the road.
* * * *
The first show after Christmas was in Raleigh, North Carolina. A buzz filled the air as over eighteen thousand fans piled into the arena. Once the opening band cleared the stage, Kasey took her place down in front. Tonight she’d take the final pictures. Tomorrow morning she’d head home.
Cody opened with his first number-one song. The crowd went nuts, singing along. Fourteen songs in, the crowd was just as engaged. They didn’t even notice that she’d moved out of the orchestra area to the catwalk above them. She zoomed in on the audience for reactions and captured a wide-angle panoramic.
By now she knew how many songs they’d play before Cody’s first wardrobe change and the order in which the last three songs were performed. She had all the pictures she needed, so she let the camera swing on her neck strap and sat cross-legged on the catwalk, high above the stage. The last song, one of the few ballads Cody had recorded, was her favorite. She wiggled into a comfortable position and waited for the final song.
But Cody didn’t follow the six-chord fade into the song he usually closed with. Instead, he took the mic from the stand and swung his guitar to his back. He repositioned his hat, a nervous tic. She’d noticed that a while back.
“Can I get personal with ya for a minute?” he said.
The audience cheered.
“You’ve been terrific, Raleigh. I want to play something special.”
They went wild.
“It’s a song I’ve been workin’ on for the past couple of months.”
A hush came over the crowd; only a couple of whistles broke it.
“You may have heard that I’ve been trying to help a friend get the word out about her missing son.”
Kasey gulped. What is he doing?
“You might not have heard that we’ve been photographing this tour for a book. You’re part of that. The book will come out next fall. I hope you’ll buy a copy. Not for me, but because twenty percent of every book sold is going directly to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.”
Kasey reached out to steady herself. His overwhelming generosity was dizzying.
The crowd hooted and howled.
“I knew I could count on your help.” Cody shaded his eyes and looked to the projection booth. “Johnny, will you put that picture up for me?”
Jake’s picture filled the floor-to-ceiling backdrop.
Kasey snapped her mouth shut in utter disbelief, her gaze clouded by tears.
“Thanks.” Cody looked back at the picture, shook his head, then turned back to the crowd. “This is Jake. He’s been missing since Hurricane Ernesto came through these parts a while back. If you see him, would you please contact the police? His mother, a very dear friend of mine, she’s looking for him.” He swung his guitar back around. “This song is called A Mother’s Love.”
No one in the band joined in. It was just Cody and his guitar.
Kasey clutched the metal railing with both hands as she listened, recognizing the melody immediately. She’d heard it a hundred times in the plane.
She was drawn into his words, and then the bridge
A child is born and placed in the arms of his mother.
A powerful love, and a bond like no other.
There to protect, to guide and to grow,
A love as strong you’ll never know.
By the second verse, the band members joined in.
When Cody sang the bridge, the crowd sang along. Every mother in the crowd must have felt this song to her core. The audience swayed below Kasey as she cried.
When the song ended, Cody turned his back to the crowd, knelt on one knee and dipped his hat to Jake. Then he rose, faced his fans, and waved as he headed off the stage.
Kasey would usually have been backstage well before now, but her knees were like jelly. The house lights would come up in about three minutes. She couldn’t stand, much less descend the ladder from the catwalk. She watched as the fans cheered for Cody, hoping he would come back on stage. He rarely did.
The house lights came up. Kasey watched from her spot in the sky as people shuffled toward the exits. Roadies moved in to unhook cables and disassemble what they’d just assembled a few hours ago.
She pulled her feet underneath her and stood, holding the rail to steady herself. Then she headed for the ladder and made her way to the stage level. As she stepped on the last rung, Cody startled her.
“I couldn’t find you.” He steadied her by the hips as she climbed down. “You had me worried.”
She reached up and hugged him. “That was a beautiful song. Thank you.”
He held her tight, rocking her in his arms. “You’re welcome. You’re a beautiful mom.”
She let go and stepped back. “I can’t believe I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to,” he said, and raised a brow.
Kasey paused, but only for a second. “It’s time. I have to handle things at home. I’m not sure I’m really ready, but I know I can get through it now.”
“I understand. It’s been good having you around. Real good.” There was an awkward silence. “A driver will take you home tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can rent a car.”
“Don’t be silly.” They walked down the tunnel to the SUV that would shuttle them back to the hotel. “It’s taken care of.”
The driver leaped from the car when he saw Cody, but Cody waved him off, opened the door himself, and helped Kasey in.
They rode in silence on the twenty-minute drive to the hotel. The driver let them out at a back entrance.
“Hey, guys.” Cody said to the two security guards who stood nearby. He gave them a nod, and he and Kasey disappeared around the corner.
Cody took her hands in his. “I’m not very good
at goodbyes.”
“It’s not goodbye. We’ll be in touch.”
He nodded. “Count on it.”
She hugged him.
He held her for a long moment. “You take care of yourself, and please let me know if you need anything. Anything. I mean it.”
She nodded.
“Keep me posted on Jake, too.”
“I will.”
He hooked his arm. She threaded hers through his. They got on the elevator. When it stopped on the twenty-third floor, Kasey backed out.
“Thanks again,” she said.
“See you soon.” He tipped his hat.
She wondered if he was trying to be cute, or hiding how he felt. The elevator doors closed. The chime sounded on the floor above, the penthouse, where he was staying. She turned and walked to her room, humming A Mother’s Love.
Chapter Thirteen
The day after the Raleigh concert, Kasey said her goodbyes to the band members. It was a lot harder than she’d expected, kind of like when she’d left her friends for the summer after school let out.
As the limo moved into traffic, she noticed the glossy white box on the seat. A perfect Tiffany-blue bow crossed over a card—from Cody. He’d done so much for her. Opening the box seemed so final.
Cody isn’t the only one that’s not good at goodbyes.
She pushed it aside and decided to wait until she got home to open it.
Home.
It was time.
Kasey wondered if Dutch would act as if she’d only been gone a day.
The smooth ride lulled her to sleep. By the time she woke up, she was close enough to home to recognize her surroundings. Her stomach swirled a little when the limousine pulled into the driveway.
Her RV and Porsche were parked side-by-side in front of the house, next to the crumpled metal heap of Nick’s truck. Her heart spiked as she relived the moment when she’d seen it in the river. There was no fixing it. She should’ve sent it to the crusher, but it was hard to let go of anything that had belonged to Nick.