“What’s that?” said Bonnie.
“It’s a blow-them-all-to-hell stick,” I said. “Just watch.”
Just then it blowed, and I seen men and pieces a’ men and bits a’ barrels and parts a’ the store-front all a-flying all over the street, and there was a ringing in my ears what I thunk wouldn’t never stop. There was screaming outside too and shouting. It was like a scene from behint the gates a’ hell, or at least it was like a battle in a war.
“Who done that?” said Bonnie.
“Happy done it just like I tole him to do,” I said.
Gradual things settled down outside after the last stick had dropped outta the sky. It was real quietlike. In another minute or so, Happy come in again through the back door. “How’d I do, Barjack?” he said.
“You done just fine,” I said. “You blowed their ass up.”
Sly said, “They’re mounting up and riding out.”
“The ones that’re left,” Churkee added.
“We won?” said Happy.
“This round,” I said.
“They’ll be back,” said Sly.
I unlatched the front door and opened it. Then I stepped out onto the boardwalk and Sly follered me. We was each still a-holding our six-guns in our hand, and we looked up and down the street. It seemed like the cowboys was all gone for sure. “I think things’ll be quiet around here for a while now,” Sly said.
“I expect you’re right about that,” I said.
“The only thing is,” he said, “Chugwater’s down to about half the number of gunmen he had now.”
“He’ll be a little easier to deal with.”
“Maybe. He’ll be more desperate.”
“Yeah, I reckon you’re right about that too.”
“We’ll just have to act like we’re more desperate too.”
“We will,” I said.
Just then a cowboy came riding hard down the street. Me and Sly was both some relaxed, and I damn sure weren’t ready for him to throw down on me with a six-gun as he rid past real fast. He fired a shot and it nicked me right where my neck growed outta my shoulder on the right side. I yelped and grabbed at it with my left hand. I staggered back and leaned against the wall. Sly made out to shoot back, but before he could get off a shot, a rifle barrel sticking out of a winder fired, and that cowboy went a-tumbling off a’ his horse.
I staggered inside and went into the free cell and fell down on the cot. I was bleeding something ferocious. Bonnie seen it and went to screaming. Sly said, “I’ll get the doc,” and went running off. “Somebody get me some whiskey,” I said.
Bonnie dropped down on her fat knees right beside a’ me and went to wringing my free hand. “Barjack,” she said, “Barjack. Don’t die on me. Sly went after Doc.”
Polly brung in my whiskey bottle from the desk, and I pulled my hand a-loose from Bonnie’s grip and tuck it. I had me a long drink. Then I said, “Hell, I ain’t going to die. I’m too damn pissed off to die.”
“Does it hurt, Barjack?” Bonnie said.
“It hurts like hell,” I said. “Who shot that son of a bitch?”
“I did,” said Polly.
“Do you reckon it was worth it to him to’a nicked me and then got his ass kilt like that?” I said.
Bonnie tore off a piece a’ her petticoat and pulled my left hand away from the wound. Then she went to daubing at it with that rag. She made a hell of a face while she was a-doing that.
“Does it look that bad?” I said.
“It looks pretty damn bad,” she said. “Polly, bring me some water, will you?”
“Sure,” Polly said, and in another minute she done it. Bonnie dipped that rag in the water and daubed a little bit more. Then she tuck my left hand and washed the blood off a’ it. She tore off another bit a’ rag off a’ her petticoat and folded it up and laid it on that wound and held it down tight. About then the doc come in. Someone pointed him to the cell and Bonnie got outta his way.
He studied on my hurt neck for a little bit, and then he went to messing with it. Whenever he was all done, I had some kinda salve rubbed on it and a bandage tied down on it. He stood up and picked up his bag. “Just keep quiet,” he said. “Don’t do anything strenuous for a while. It’ll heal up.”
“Send your bill to Peester,” I said. He walked on out.
I drank me some more whiskey outta my bottle, and pretty soon I dropped off to sleep. I dreamt that someone had shot me, and my whole head went flying off. I don’t know how I coulda been conscious the whole time and even seen my own head rolling around in the street, but that was the way it was. Course, it was only a dream. But whenever I woked up I couldn’t help thinking how stupid it was. Hell, my eyeballs was out there in my goddamn head, and it was rolling around in the street along with them other pieces a’ men what Happy had blowed up. I was a-standing on the boardwalk without no head, and so a’ course, without no eyes, but still I was a-looking at my own head out there. Dreams can be awful damn dumb sometimes. Dingle had called that some kinda word one time, and I was a-wishing I could remember that word, but it just wouldn’t come to me.
I tried to turn my head, but it hurt too bad to do that, so I just yelled out, “Dingle. You out there?” He come into the cell right quick, and he looked like he had been in a war. His shirttail was out on one side, and his shirt was full a’ bullet holes. There wasn’t no blood, though. His hair was all messed up, and his face and his shirt was smudged black from the powder his own shots had blowed back on him. “Damn,” I said when I seen him. He kinda grinned. He was holding his pad and a pencil, though.
“They came close but they never hit me,” he said. “What did you want with me, Barjack?”
“What was that there word you used once? You said it meant something what was like a dream. Do you recollect?”
“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. It was surreal.”
“Surreal,” I said. “Surreal. Yeah. That’s it. Well, I just had me a surreal dream. My head was shot off, and I was a-looking at it. It was a surreal son of a bitch.”
“Yeah. It sounds like it.”
“So that there’s the right word for it?”
“I’d say so,” said Dingle. “It sure sounds surreal to me.”
“Surreal,” I said, and I said it over and over on account a’ I wanted to remember it. I liked getting new words from Dingle. That was half the fun a’ keeping him around, although it weren’t bad to make money off a’ him and his books, the ones what he writ about me and my adventures. I figgered he was a-working on another one right then.
Then I decided that we was all of us in the middle of a goddamned surreal situation. There was Owl Shit in jail for doing a dumb killing, and his dumb brother, Chugwater, trying like hell to bust him out. Then there was pieces a’ dead men all over the street. It was all pretty damn surreal as far as I could tell.
Chapter Ten
Well, nothing much happened for the next couple a’ days, and it was a damn good thing too, on account a’ my neck begun to hurt like hell. I had been shot before, a’ course, but it never did hurt me like that goddamn nick in my neck hurt. I couldn’t think a’ nothing for a time except only that I wanted a drink a’ good whiskey, and I had me a good many a’ those. The guys and gals all hung around the jailhouse and kept a watch out for any a’ Chugwater’s bunch what might show up, but none of them did. I final got to thinking about the mess we was in, and the first thing I thunk about was why in the hell I was so damn determined to hang on to that damned Owl Shit. I couldn’t come up with nothing. He sure as hell weren’t worth me getting my own self or any a’ my friends and ‘special my sweet Bonnie big tits kilt over. So why in the hell didn’t I just let ole Chugwater have the little shit? I couldn’t hardly answer that damn nagging question.
I sure weren’t one for upholding the dignity a’ my office at all costs. No, sir. I didn’t have no such scruples, so it weren’t that. Were it my own personal pride and puffed-upness? The little asshole had shot a man dead right in front a�
� me and a dozen or two witnesses. I had to hold him in jail to keep the respect a’ all the folks in town. If I was to let a goddamn murderous bastard like that just walk away, why, they’d all just commence to doing whatever the hell it was they wanted to do, thumbing their noses at me. I couldn’t have that. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe.
Then it come to me that ole Dingle had been a-writing all them books about me, about what a goddamn staunch upholder a’ the law I was and how I could handle any damn situation. It come to me that maybe I was a-trying to live up to the image what Dingle had created. They was a whole bunch a’ people out there somewheres a-reading them books. Well, hell, whatever. The whole truth a’ the matter was that I just for damn sure meant to hold on to Owl Shit for as long as it was necessary. I weren’t about to give in to Chugwater. No way.
Bonnie come into the cell where I was a-laying and drinking and thinking. She set down on the cot beside a’ me, even though there was barely room for her fat ass. She just kinda perched one cheek on the cot. It musta been a kind a’ strain on her to set thattaway, but she done it on account a’ she loved my ass so much. She petted on me and cooed around and called me sweet names and tole me how proud a’ me she was and how much she was a-wishing that I’d get to feeling a whole lot better real damn soon. I surely did enjoy that too, I can tell you.
I seen Happy out in the office walk over to the coffeepot for a cup a’ the hot stuff, and I yelled out at him. “Happy, is Butcher up on the roof?”
“Yes, sir, he is.”
“Good,” I said. Happy come a-walking into the cell.
“Barjack,” he said, “do you think we need to keep this up?”
“This what?” I ast him.
“You know. Keeping us all in here all the time. Chugwater’s men ain’t been around for a few days. Maybe he’s give it up.”
“Don’t you believe that for a minute, Happy,” I said. “A man like Chugwater don’t quit. Not never. He won’t quit till Owl Shit’s hanged up or till him or me is dead. He lives by a code, and that code is don’t quit.”
“But we’ve killed a bunch a’ his men.”
“And he promised his mama that he’d take care a’ his little brother,” I said, “and that’s another part a’ the code. Mind your mama. Respect your mama. And keep your word. That’s all a part a’ it. He’ll be back. Don’t you fret about that. He’ll be back, and he’ll be meaner than ever.”
“Yes, sir,” said Happy. “Well, I guess I had better get up on the roof and relieve Butcher.” He walked on out and left me and Bonnie there to pet on each other. Course, she had never quit petting on me while he was there talking to me. That woman didn’t have no sense a’ shame a’tall.
I got to thinking about what I had tole Happy about Chugwater being devoted to his mama and to protecting his little brother. I wondered for a minute what I would do in his situation. I couldn’t hardly remember my mama nor any a’ my brothers. But what if, before I had run away from New York, what if my mama had made me to promise to take care a’ one a’ my brothers, or all a’ them? And what if, after that, my brother had wound up in jail charged with a killing? What the hell would I have did? I thunk about that for about a minute, and I concluded then that I would let the little shit hang, and I would let my mama curse me for it. I believe I could walk around and function just fine with a curse on my head.
I realized right then that I was getting to kinda admire ole Chugwater, even though I would never have did what he was a-doing. He was standing up against all odds, meaning the law, for what he believed in. He was out to save his little brother, even though the little brother were a little snivelly shit-ass. He weren’t afraid a’ nothing, that Chugwater. Hell, I had me a mean-ass reputation, and he weren’t about to back down from me. And then there was ole Sly, the goddamn widdamaker. Sly had kilt no one knows how many men, and all in fair fights too. He was knowed and feared far and wide, and Chugwater was standing against both a’ us. You just had to admire that.
At the same time that I was admiring the bastard, I was thinking about how it would feel to shoot the son of a bitch to death. Just then I couldn’t think a’ nothing that would make me feel quite as good as killing ole Chugwater and then watching his little brother hang. I really had it in for the two a’ them. They had caused me a whole world a’ trouble, and then went and got me shot in the neck, and it was hurting me pretty damn bad, I can tell you. I didn’t let on to no one other than my Bonnie that I was hurting so bad, though. I only let on to her on account a’ she was taking so much pity on me and petting me up so much.
“How are you doing, Barjack?”
I jerked my head up to see who it was had snuck in on me like that, and it hurt me when I did, but then I seen that it were ole Sly. “Goddamn it, Sly,” I said. “You surprised the hell outta me.”
“Sorry, pard,” he said.
“Oh, hell,” I said, “I’m a-doing all right, considering that I damn near got my head shot off. I’ll be up and at ’em again in no time.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said.
Just then the doc come in, and Sly excused hisself and went back out into the office. Whenever Doc come over to the cot, Bonnie struggled up to her feet and moved over to one side. Doc bent over me and pulled the bandage off a’ my neck, and I hollered when he done that. He poked around on it for a bit, and then he said, “Well, it’s healing up nicely.” He turned to Bonnie and said, “Just keep him quiet for a little longer. I’ll look back in on him in another couple of days.” He left then and Bonnie set her half a’ her ass back on the cot. She smiled down at me real simpering sweetlike.
“He said it’s healing up nicely,” she said.
“I heared what he said.”
“Ain’t you glad of it?”
“Hell, yeah, I’m glad. I don’t like laying here and hurting like this.”
“Well, it won’t be for much longer, sweetie.”
I was a-wishing that the day would hurry up and go by and get to nighttime, so I could have her pull them blankets and rags tight around us and shut out the rest a’ the world. I was getting a sudden urge to have me a romp with my sweet tits, but I never said nothing about it to her. Whenever she leaned over me, though, it looked to me like them big tits was just about to jump outta their sacks right into my face. Lordy, they was big and fine.
Butcher poked his nose into the cell just then. ”Barjack,” he said, “four cowboys just come a-riding into town.”
I set up on the cot real quicklike. “Is they Chugwater’s men?” I ast him.
“I ain’t for sure.”
“Well, where did they go?”
“They pulled up in front a’ the Hooch House.”
“Find out who they are,” I said.
“Okay.” He disappeared again, and pretty soon I thunk I could hear him climbing up onto the roof. In another minute he come back down, and in another minute after that, he were back in the cell. “Happy said they was Chugwater’s men,” he tole me.
“Just four a’ them?” I said.
“That’s all I seen.”
“Well, stay alert. Keep an eye out for them. As long as they’re in the Hooch House a-spending money, it’s all right.”
If they was a-spending money in the Hooch House, that meant that I was a-making money. I hoped that they would stay in there and spend till they was broke. Course, they could get more money real easy just by killing me, but I didn’t intend that they would do that. Butcher come back in.
“Four more come in,” he said. “They went in the Hooch House too.”
“All right,” I said. “Just keep a-watching. Butcher.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Does Sly know about them?”
“Yes, sir. I told him.”
“Okay. That’s good.”
“Barjack,” said Bonnie, “you know what Doc said. Lay back down. You need to relax and get some rest.”
She pushed me back down onto my back, but I struggled right back up. “Hell, that’s all
I been doing is resting,” I said. “I can at least set up, can’t I?”
“Well, all right, if you’ll set still.”
“I’m a-setting still,” I said.
She scooted around till her whole entire ass was on the cot, and she was a-setting right beside a’ me. She wrapped a big arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her.
“Ow,” I said.
“What’s the matter, dearie?” she said. “Did I hurt you?”
“You pinched my hurt neck some,” I tole her.
She loosened up her vise grip a little then, but she kept her arm around me. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said, and she give me a slobbery kiss on the cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Hell,” I said, “that’s all right.”
I could see out into the office some by then, mostly the front wall and winders, and I could see that Sly and Butcher and Polly and Churkee was all lined up with their guns ready, looking out onto the street.
“What’s happening out there?” Bonnie said.
“Ain’t nothing happening just now,” I said.
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“I think that ole Chugwater’s boys just might be a-planning another attack on us,” I tole her.
“Will we be ready for them?”
“Look out there and tell me what you think,” I said.
She actual got up and walked out into the office. When she come back in, she were a-pulling out her little Merwin Hulbert. “Everybody looks ready,” she said, “but I’m going out there to help.”
“That’s good,” I said. “Just keep yourself hid back behind the wall. Don’t go sticking anything out where they can shoot it.”
“Don’t you worry about that none,” she said, and she left me alone in the cell. I picked up my bottle and had me a good slug a’ whiskey. I was using my left hand to lift the bottle on account a’ if I done it with my right hand, it hurt my neck. It come to me just then that I had might just as well set in the cell and get drunk. I couldn’t do no shooting, the shape I was in.
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