by C. S Luis
“No reason. I’m just happy,” I said, which was true. “I owe you a lot,” I honestly added.
He seemed to tear up a bit, and if I hadn’t broken the silence, I think he would have started to cry.
“Goodnight Michael,” I said. He wiped at his eyes and smiled, unable to speak right away. As I neared the arch of the kitchen doorway, I heard his voice again.
“Claudia, you know it’s not your fault.” I stared over at him, puzzled. Then I searched his thoughts and knew what he was talking about. I swallowed the anger I felt. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I didn’t want to think about it again. I wanted to forget if I could. I thought it was better to forget John Slater completely and forever.
“What happened, happened, and John did what he had to do to protect you. He had to; at least that’s what I believe. He has his world and this is ours, honey.”
I nodded. I guess he was right. This was who we were; ordinary, simple, boring people. He was part of a different world. A strange world I knew nothing about; a world clouded with mystery.
“It’s for the best,” he whispered. Maybe he was right; maybe it was for the best.
“And I meant what I said,” he added. I looked over at him, incomprehensibly. “About someone asking you to prom, so don’t you worry, okay honey?” I tried my best to smile in response, nodding.
“Goodnight honey,” he said.
“Goodnight Michael,” I replied, and headed up the stairs to my room. I dreaded each step like I was headed to my death sentence. I didn’t want to sleep. I could already feel the anxiety creeping in, Quentin’s voice in my head. I couldn’t forget his voice. He was there every night; the sense of his presence overwhelming at times.
I opened the door to my room; I knew the voices, the feelings were all inside my mind. Real, but all inside my mind, trying to escape, trying to reach me from wherever they were now.
I entered my room; downstairs I could hear Michael turning on the dishwasher; within a few minutes, he would be heading to his room. The voices continued, unclear, unrecognizable at times. And yet, others as clear as a voice beside me.
I closed the door behind me and walked over to the dresser, took out my PJ bottoms and a top I liked from the first drawer. I walked to the bathroom, washed up, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes. I then took a seat on the bed. The voices continued, “my pet—I know you can hear me. My pet—beware he’s coming—he’s…” And then they would stop. And another voice would start. “Claudia—you are the answer to this—you are the end of—” A shriek would follow, then the visions. Those were the worst because I saw things I sensed hadn’t happened yet. An ocean of tar, like ink, tentacles reaching out, grasping, reaching towards me, falling back, a face — his face. I didn’t know him, but I remembered his face and I feared him. I recalled him from the dark depths, emerging from the pool and finding me. Quentin had stopped him then; who would stop him now?
A sound from the back of the room startled me. I spun my head in that direction, but it was the wind outside my window. The tree branches were scratching the glass lightly.
I opened the drawer by the bed and found the crystal. I held it tightly, staring at the picture of my parents on the table. As I squeezed the crystal, the voices and visions suddenly stopped. I lay down, the precious rock clutched between my hands. I did this often; sometimes it worked…sometimes it didn’t.
The bus pulled up to the side entrance of the school as I sat in the back surrounded by judging eyes. I was no stranger to the students; most knew me and those who didn’t had heard of the incident the year before.
The bus was not completely full. In senior year most students had their own vehicles or had friends with cars. I didn’t mind the bus; it helped me relax and think. I enjoyed the ride and the time alone. I was starting to think I loved being alone. And I didn’t know what to think of that. But I felt content.
The big, yellow bus doors opened and a group of students poured out. I sat there for a moment, then rose only when the last students began to leave the bus. I knew Michael had been at school long before I arrived. He was principal and had to be at Milton much earlier than I did. The idea of getting up to go to school on principal’s hours had not appealed to me so I started to take the bus again.
I made my way into the hallway through the crowds that settled in the hall near the side entrance and outside the cafeteria, waiting for the bell to ring. Outside, the buses were coming together, one at a time, lining the side of the school as they arrived.
I walked on and entered the stairwell to make my way to the second floor to my locker, located just steps away from the stairs. Only after I opened the locker did I sense him. It never failed; I had stopped trying to avoid him. He was standing behind the locker’s door in the same manner as the first time I met him, when Alex had been with me… god, I missed her.
* * *
He had blond hair and deep blue eyes, young and handsome and captain of the football team. Sure, that sounded cliche, but he was. He had started track in his first year at Milton before trying out for the football team. He was in photography and in charge of the yearbook club. He was in various social groups; always so involved. He was well-liked by his peers and teachers. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be with him. And, as corny as that sounded, it was the truth. And right now, he was seeking me.
He had begun walking me to class, appearing unexpectedly, just as he was now. He had been doing this for a month and his attention was beginning to trouble me.
Dealing with Mr. Cortez working at Milton pretending to be my uncle and stealing my inheritance, kept me on edge. Jimmy only added to my anxiety.
Mr. Cortez usually spent the day in his office doing nothing. I would see him in the cafeteria pretending to do some kind of work. Mostly he would just be bothering the other principals like Mr. Claypool and Mr. Vasquez while they stood in the center of the cafeteria trying to monitor the student body. After having to deal with him, I wasn’t in the best spirits, nor was I the best company to be around.
Why me? I wondered. Why did Jimmy want me when he had so many prettier girls with less complicated lives to pick from? Some of those prettier girls were giving me the stink eye due to his attention, or actually his lack of attention toward them, to be honest. I was anything but social, anything but involved. My friends were adults. I was the topic of student gossip for many, and others said I was the cause of the chaos in Milton.
A few had found out about what occurred during the holidays and the rumors had quickly spread. The sinkhole in the parking lot, the strange, shady characters. Mr. John Slater, the vortex in the hallway, and Quentin, the alien, although no one believed that story. Everyone knew something or suspected something had happened. And they all suspected it involved me in one way or another.
The word was out—I was always around when the chaos seemed to occur. Why was it centered around me? Teachers, like Ms. Witherson and Ms. Stephens, began to leave. John Slater’s departure had caused a strange ripple in Milton. These things made my year even harder after John Slater left my life. But, somehow, they didn’t seem to scare Jimmy away.
* * *
Jimmy was smiling over at me as I gathered my books for my first class. In a month, we would be graduating and everyone was talking about college and summer plans, and more importantly, Prom. And that was the very last thing on my mind. I thought of John Slater and Quentin, and even Alex, more often than I did my studies and social activities.
And now, as I saw the bright, blue eyes of Jimmy Reinhardt, the most popular and social boy in school, beaming back at me from the busy and noisy Milton hallway, I knew Michael had encouraged his interest in me.
I didn’t know what to think.
When I slammed the locker, I tried to smile back at Jimmy even though I felt so awkward. I could sense him, but not in the way I had sensed Quentin, or even John Slater. I could feel his thoughts, which usually were followed by desire and a need to have me near and acknowledge h
im.
I couldn’t deny that perhaps Jimmy did make me feel special and quite normal, when he came looking for me. I felt so bad when I turned him away. But why did he want me? Didn’t I come with a warning sign? If I didn’t, then I should. Or perhaps I should start wearing one. This was the same question I had asked myself in regards to why Mr. Slater looked at me the way he did. Why did men act so strangely around me?
“Hi Claudia,” he said very sweetly.
I noticed some of the cheerleader girls pass by; they waved at him. He smiled just like any guy would when a group of very beautiful girls acknowledges them. I don’t know why it bothered me, but I couldn’t deny that I was a little jealous his attention had drifted away from me.
“Hi Jimmy!” one girl, a blonde beauty named Rachel, stopped and grabbed his arm, trying to drag him away. I started walking to class. When I heard scuffling, I turned to find Jimmy running right alongside me.
“Claudia, can I talk to you for a minute?”
This was new. He always walked with me but this sounded serious. He normally said things like, “Can I escort you to class?” and attempt to carry my books, make small talk until I stepped into my classroom. I always turned to him and smiled, saying, “okay, bye,” before grabbing my books, if he carried them, and walking into class like he hadn’t even been there.
Sure, that was rude but I didn’t know how to react to him. He was nice and friendly and went out of his way to talk to me, but he wanted to be close? And I was afraid.
“You sure you want to talk to me? Looks like you’re pre-occupied with something else,” I said coldly. “Or someone else.” I glanced back, finding Rachel glaring at us. She joined her cheerleading friends and they gave me a dirty look as they hurried off toward a waiting bus.
“Aren’t you joining them?” I rudely asked, moving quickly away from him. He studied the look of annoyance on my face.
“Not today,” he mumbled. I thought that was kind of odd, he was, after all, on the football team.
I kept walking away, but he managed to stay close.
“I told coach that I had to escort a very pretty girl to her class…” he smiled. I didn’t take him seriously most of the time. If I read his mind, I would learn what else he was hiding. I didn’t want to look odd when I discovered it in front of him, so I had never attempted to get inside his head. He was, after all, the only one that talked to me. Everyone was either too scared of me or knew I was the principal’s adopted daughter and didn’t want to get involved with me. And that wasn’t just the guys. Michael would say they were intimidated by my beauty. Yeah, right.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. We’re not playing; it’s just the cheerleaders heading to do their routine. But I was serious about escorting the prettiest girl…” My face said I didn’t care. He noticed and tried to change the subject.
I don’t know why I was giving him a hard time. He was nothing but nice and sweet to me. That was partly my fault. I had smiled at him many times, drawing him to me. I liked him; I wouldn’t deny that. But I was mad; not at him, just mad and hurt by others. Now I tried to avoid him. Why? I often asked myself this. I suspected he wanted to be more. After John Slater left, he had tried to get closer. It was now March and he was trying harder to get my attention.
“Claudia, can you slow down? I really need to speak to you. Why do you ignore me?” He grabbed my arm; an action that stopped me but also caused me to drop the books in my arm. I gasped in frustration and immediately knelt to pick them up.
Jimmy was there before I could get on my knees. “I’m sorry,” he foolishly apologized. I wanted to scold him but I knew it wasn’t his fault. Too many other things were on my mind and he had shown up at the wrong time.
“Stop. You don’t have to…” I tried to say but he stopped and grabbed my hand. I stared up at him, then I started to tear up before I finally began to sob. I fell into his arms and he held me. For the first time, I felt I could cry. I couldn’t stop myself.
Why was I doing this in front of him? I couldn’t control it; it just happened. Long before I could even feel it; it came pouring out. The things I had tried to keep bottled-up, what had happened with Quentin, the loss of my only friend, and then Mr. Slater leaving me without an explanation, even after he had promised to take me with him. Why had I believed such a lie? To think that he actually would care for someone as insignificant as me, was too much to handle. Everything was just pouring out of me.
I tried to stop crying and pulled away from Jimmy. He must have thought I was crazy, but when I glanced at his eyes, I only saw concern and understanding. He didn’t think I was a weirdo. He was very caring instead. He only wanted to hold me to him, and protect me from whatever was hurting me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. He wiped at my eyes. I allowed his touch.
“Don’t be,” he said so gently I could barely hear him. I couldn’t look away from him. Did he know what was going through my mind?
“I guess you think I must be crazy.”
“No,” he smiled and cupped my cheek. “I know you’ve gone through a lot. As a matter of fact, I don’t know how you keep it together.”
I gazed at him; he was talking about the loss of my parents and my grandfather. I thought if he only knew there was more on my mind than merely that. The loss of my family was only a part of the problem. The other was the fact that I was the obsession of an alien and had almost been his prisoner, and then there was John Slater…
“Let me take those,” he offered, taking the books from my hands and gathering them one at a time into his arms. I wanted to say no but held my tongue. He reminded me of John Slater in that sense; always straightforward, always a gentleman, and always trying to get my attention no matter how coldly I treated him.
We rose and started to walk very slowly. The hallways were still busy, but thinning a little at a time.
We were both quiet for the moment; I sense he wanted to ask how I was but didn’t out of concern for my feelings.
“So, I was wondering,” he began very gradually. I thought I knew what he would ask me. “If maybe…”
Perhaps after what had just occurred, he didn’t know how to approach the subject but it seemed like something that had been on his mind for a while.
“You don’t have to feel obligated to, but I was wondering—if no one has asked you— of course…”
“Yes, I’ll go with you,” I immediately answered. His lips froze and he gazed over at me, perplexed and a bit surprised. Had he not expected that answer?
He stopped. Suddenly all around us, the hallways grew quieter, then the bell rang and no one else was around; just the two of us standing alone in the hall staring at one another.
For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Had I freaked him out with my ability to read people? I panicked. No, it wasn’t that, it was my answer. He felt I was unreachable and unapproachable.
“You want me to go with you to the prom? Right—then yes,” I said again trying to confirm his question. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the empty stairwell nearby. There was something about the way he did it I found quite romantic.
He put the books down on the steps behind us and now came very close. He looked pleased but I sensed there was something else on his mind. Something I wasn’t prepared for; something that had been on his mind for a long while. Since the first time he met me.
“There’s more I need to ask you,” he immediately said, cupping my cheek. I didn’t move; I actually welcomed his caress. It was a change from what I knew.
“I hope you don’t think I’m too straightforward by asking so suddenly. I know we barely know each other but I would really like to change that. I’ve always liked you, Claudia. Ever since I met you. And I’ve been wanting to ask you… but I guess I was afraid Dr. McClellan would not approve of me. Not only that, I knew how friendly you were with Dr. Black. And he seemed to hate me.” Why was he saying that? Why was he mentioning John Slater?
“He didn’t hate you,” I interrupted. He
simply smiled. “He was only protecting me,” I tried to defend John Slater.
He didn’t say anything else in regard to Mr. Slater. He pushed back a strand of my hair and gazed deep into my eyes. I felt the desire in his soul, his thoughts pure adoration for me, he wanted to kiss me. I felt bad knowing what he wanted before he told me.
“I want you to me mine, Claudia. Will you go out with me? But not just go out with me— will you be my girlfriend?”
I felt numb and speechless. He stroked my cheek, drawing closer, but slowly at first. I didn’t stop him as he neared inch by inch, then the words came very faintly from my quivering lips.
“Yes,” feeling his mouth now on mine, pressing so gently. His kiss was soft and tender; everything I had never known. My first kiss and it was good.
When I opened my eyes he was smiling at me, caressing my cheek very tenderly. I was lost, and I must have appeared it because Jimmy was grinning sweetly back at me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
“So, what happens now?” I asked, feeling slightly foolish for not knowing the rules of relationships. He laughed, pushing my hair away from my face.
“Now I spoil you,” he smirked and leaned forward to kiss me once more. The morning announcements broke the spell. We were very late for class and it didn’t bother either of us.
We skipped the rest of first period, talking and kissing in the empty stairwell. The bell startled us as it rang over our heads. A rush of students came down the halls and across the stairwell past us. Jimmy protectively pushed me into the corner to keep me from getting bumped by others. I was overwhelmed by his protective nature. How had he made me so devoted to him so quickly? Perhaps Jimmy was what I needed; a change to normality.
And spoil me he did. He made his intentions known to Michael right away. I found him that afternoon when I came to meet Michael in his office after school.
As I walked in, Jimmy was seated in one of the chairs in front of Michael’s desk. At first, I thought he was in trouble. Or perhaps Michael had discovered our…—Jimmy and I were now dating.