‘She’s lovely,’ Julia replied in a low voice. ‘Really welcoming. She makes Christmas sound very tempting, but I think it would be better if we don’t come.’
‘Keeping Katie out of our relationship?’ he murmured, and she flashed him a quick, startled glance.
‘We don’t really have a relationship,’ she reminded him, and he sighed inwardly.
‘We could.’
‘No.’
‘We could be very discreet. Katie need never know, if you didn’t want her to.’
He glanced across at her and surprised a look of yearning on her face. Ruthlessly he pressed his advantage, and slid a hand across onto her lap, twining their fingers together. ‘Julia?’
Her fingers clung to his for a moment, then his hand was placed carefully back in his own lap, and she retreated. ‘No.’
‘I won’t give up. I’m a persistent man,’ he told her gently.
She didn’t answer, just turned her head away and looked out over the moonlit countryside as he navigated the roads back to Little Soham. He pulled up outside the cottage and turned to her again.
‘Do you want me to drive you home and pick you up in the morning to fetch your car? It seems such a shame to wake Katie and put her into a cold car. And besides,’ he said, trying to inject a little humour, ‘you still haven’t seen my new bathroom.’
She sat motionless for a moment, then her shoulders seemed to droop and she turned back to him, a resigned smile on her face. ‘I haven’t, have I? That was rude of me.’
‘I agree. I think you should remedy it.’
She nodded. ‘OK.’
‘So shall I take you home?’
‘Please.’
David tried not to smile too victoriously, but he felt as if he’d won a major concession.
And he’d see her again tomorrow.
Life was suddenly looking up.
She must have been mad. Fancy agreeing to let him bring her home last night so that she had to see him again today! And after all she’d said about them not having a relationship!
What an idiot. It would give him all sorts of false hope and encouragement, and make him even more persistent.
Julia yanked open her sweater drawer and looked in despair at the miserable collection of old knitwear. She had nothing decent to wear. He’d seen her only respectable sweater about three times now, and he must be heartily sick of it, but it was too cold to go without and, anyway, her blouses and shirts weren’t much better.
And then she realised what she was doing, and slammed the drawer shut in disgust. ‘You’re a fool, Julia Revell,’ she told herself crossly. ‘You don’t want David, so why are you trying to make him want you?’
Because I do want him, and I want him to want me.
It was a sobering thought.
CHAPTER FIVE
OF COURSE, the day didn’t start and end with the bathroom inspection. They went for a walk, and then because Katie begged and pleaded they went back to the farm and played with the puppies again, and as Katie seemed happy Julia and David took the dogs and went for a ramble in the woods behind the farm.
‘I wasn’t doing this,’ she told him with as much firmness as she could muster, and he smiled that smile that did incredible things to those gorgeous eyes and crumbled her resolve even further.
‘Of course not,’ he said soothingly, and took her hand and tucked it into his pocket, their fingers entwined, and the warmth of his hand spread through her entire body and threatened to melt it.
She would have taken her hand back, but she was too weak. It felt good snuggled up with his in the warmth of his jacket, and she could feel the hard pressure of his hipbone against the back of it, shifting rhythmically with his stride. Lean, hard male, focused on her, she thought, and it was giddily intoxicating.
They climbed uphill a little, and then came out through a break in the trees and looked back down towards the farm. They could see the smoke curling from the chimney, and the edge of the roof, but nothing else for miles except a church spire in the distance.
‘It’s beautiful here,’ she said wistfully. ‘What a wonderful place to be brought up.’
‘It was. I love it. That’s why I came back.’
David stood behind her, his arms round her waist and his head resting lightly on her shoulder, and she felt the soft puff of his breath against her cheek as he nuzzled her ear.
‘You smell good,’ he murmured, and Julia felt his lips move softly over her jaw and down the side of her throat. She tipped her head instinctively to allow him access, and she felt the hot, moist trail of his tongue across her throat, and the icy coolness of his breath as he blew softly on the damp skin, bringing her whole body singing to attention.
‘Come here,’ he murmured, and without releasing her he turned her into his arms and kissed her.
It was a long, slow, drugging kiss, nothing hasty or hurried, just a leisurely mating of their mouths, a gentle exploration that left her weak and wanting more. Much more.
More than was good for her.
She eased away, looking up at him with eyes that must have held a host of conflicting messages. ‘No,’ she said, but she didn’t sound convinced even to her own ears.
‘Yes,’ he murmured back, and drew her closer, claiming her mouth again.
She pushed him away, more firmly this time, and he laughed softly and let her go.
‘Spoilsport,’ he murmured, but he didn’t push it, for which she was hugely grateful because she was already missing the contact with his body and for two pins would have gone straight back into his arms and given him anything he asked for.
That was scary.
He took her hand in his again and led her back down to the house. Katie was still in the playpen with the puppies, but it was time for their food so David lifted her out and the puppies were fed and left to sleep.
‘One of them weed on me,’ Katie announced without any great concern.
‘I’m not surprised,’ Julia told her. ‘Are you very wet?’
She shook her head. ‘No. It was only a tiny wee. Here.’
She showed her mother the wet patch on her leg, the size of a large coin, and then told her all about the puppies—that they didn’t have names yet, because the people who were going to have them would give them names and so they had to be just called ‘puppy’ until then, and how they were just five and a half weeks old now and would be going to their new homes at seven weeks, just after Christmas.
‘Can we come every day and play with them?’ she asked, and Julia stifled the urge to say yes and shook her head.
‘No, darling, of course not. Mrs Armstrong doesn’t want us here in the way all the time and, anyway, you’re at school in the day and I’m at work. There isn’t time.’
‘Next weekend, then,’ she pleaded, but Julia pointed out that next weekend she would be with Granny and Grandpa Revell.
‘But I won’t see them again, then, because it’s nearly Christmas and they’re going!’ she said, and burst into tears.
Julia looked helplessly at David, who just shrugged. ‘You can come every day,’ he said under his breath.
‘No.’
‘Or at least once or twice, in the evening.’
‘I don’t know the way.’
‘I’ll bring you.’
‘No.’
‘Please!’ Katie sobbed, and Julia felt as if she’d been put through the wringer.
‘Why don’t you stay for lunch and let her play with them again after their sleep?’ Mrs Armstrong suggested practically, but that was almost worse, because it just seemed as if they were moving in wholesale.
‘Did you have any other plans?’ David asked, and she shook her head.
‘No. Not really. I need to do something with the washing and ironing, and my vacuum cleaner thinks it’s been made redundant, but apart from that…’
‘Sounds like a good reason to play hookey,’ David said with an easy grin.
‘What about you?’ she asked. ‘I’ve hijac
ked your day again. You wanted to get on with the cottage.’
‘Did I?’ he said mildly. ‘I’m sure it won’t catch fire if I turn my back on it for another day.’
‘You could leave Katie here after lunch and go and get on, the two of you, and pick her up later,’ Mrs Armstrong suggested. ‘I’ve got nothing else to do today apart from the chickens, and your father’s out for the day at a vintage farm fair in Norfolk, so I’d be quite happy with the company.’
Julia could feel herself wavering. On the one hand she had the temptation of David and a happy child, on the other hand she had Katie miserable and the housework to do.
No contest.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked, despising her weakness and yet tingling at the thought of spending more time with him.
‘Absolutely. Let’s have a quick lunch and you can go and get on. Ham sandwiches all right?’
‘Your mother’s very kind.’
‘She’s just a mum. She misses the others—says it feels odd without children underfoot. That’s why she breeds the puppies—it satisfies her maternal instincts. So, what are you going to do for the rest of the afternoon? Do you want to go and do your housework, or do you want to come and dabble in DIY with me?’
‘What are you going to be doing?’ she asked, not at all drawn to her ironing board.
‘Bits of this and that. The bathroom’s all plumbed in but I need to fix the bath panel and stick on the tiles and paint the walls.’
‘Do you have the tiles?’
He nodded. ‘Yes. Why? Fancy sticking them on?’
‘I could. I’m quite good at tiling.’
His grin was infectious. ‘Excellent, because I seem to have squiffy eyes. I can never get them on straight.’
So Julia spent the afternoon sitting on the side of his bath with her feet in the tub, sticking white tiles all over the walls around the bath and up towards the ceiling at the tap end because he had a shower mixer, while he painted the walls around her.
‘There,’ she said in satisfaction, sticking the last one in place. ‘You can grout them—I hate that job.’
He chuckled. ‘You and me both, but at least they’re straight. Thanks.’ He put the roller in the tray and looked down at her from the top of the stepladder. ‘Tea break?’
She looked at her watch. ‘Shouldn’t we be going back for Katie? It’ll be suppertime in an hour.’
‘Exactly. If we time it just right, we’ll get fed, too.’
‘David, that’s awful,’ she said with a shocked little laugh. ‘We can’t just eat there all weekend!’
‘Why not?’ He came down the ladder and tapped the tip of her nose with a blunt forefinger. ‘Don’t worry. Mum loves company. Anyway, she’s expecting us.’
She stared after him as he left the room and headed for the stairs. ‘Excuse me?’ she said to his retreating back. ‘What do you mean, she’s expecting us?’
He turned back at the top of the stairs and threw her a smile. ‘I said we’d be back then. Come on, wash that adhesive off your hands and come and have some tea. You worry too much.’
Did she? She didn’t think so. She was beginning to feel she hadn’t worried anything like enough nearly soon enough, because David and his family seemed to have wormed themselves firmly into their lives while she wasn’t looking.
Julia washed her hands thoughtfully and went downstairs to find him pouring boiling water into two mugs. ‘Cake?’ he offered, but she shook her head.
‘No. David, this is ridiculous. We’re there all the time—’
‘Are you bored there?’
‘Of course not.’
‘Is Katie suffering? Are we doing anything to hurt her?’
‘No, of course not—’
‘Well, then. Stop worrying. Here’s your tea. Going to change your mind and have cake? It’s my mother’s date and walnut.’
And yet again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past two days, she weakened.
‘Morning.’
Julia’s heart fluttered betrayingly at the sound of David’s voice, and she lifted her eyes from the paperwork and feasted them on his face. ‘Morning. You’re here bright and early.’
‘I’ve got a tricky case. I wanted to go through the notes again.’
‘Mr Burrows?’
He nodded. ‘How is he? Good night?’
‘Seems so. I was just sorting out these discharge papers and then going to see him. I think he’s a bit apprehensive.’
David eased a hip onto the corner of her desk and smiled wryly. ‘Not surprising. He’s got very little to look forward to in the immediate future, and I’m just hoping I’m going to be able to give him some good news after the op, but I’m not optimistic. He’s had his symptoms too long, and cancer of the bowel doesn’t respond well to neglect. Have you got the notes handy?’
‘Sure.’
She stood up and pulled the notes out of the trolley and handed them to him. ‘Want a cup of tea? I’ve got a few minutes before I go and do the drugs, and we’ve got plenty of staff on this morning for a change.’
‘That would be lovely,’ he said, lifting his head from the notes for just long enough to flash her a smile.
She made two mugs and took them back into her office, and found him ensconced in the chair beside the radiator, the notes open on his lap. He was staring at X-rays on the light box, and he looked thoughtful.
‘Working out how to tackle it?’ she said, and he nodded.
‘It’s going to be tricky. I won’t know until I get in there just how bad it is, but I think I’m going to have to remove the first section of his colon and reattach the end of the ileum to the top. Hopefully he won’t need a colostomy, but I’ll know more when I get in there.’
He slapped the notes shut, dropped them on her desk and picked up his tea with a smile. ‘Thanks. I’m ready for this. I’ll go and talk to him in a moment.’
He stretched his legs out, feet crossed at the ankle, and dropped his head back against the wall with a sigh. ‘So when are you coming to grout my tiles?’ he asked with his eyes shut, and she laughed.
‘Never. I told you, I don’t do grouting. It’s a horrible job. It always takes me ages and I never manage to get all the grout off the surface of the tiles, so they always look cloudy and patchy.’
‘I think you’re just making excuses,’ he said lazily, and buried his nose in his mug. ‘I think anyone who took pride in their work would want to finish the job.’
‘Is that right?’ she said, going back to her paperwork and pretending to ignore him.
David placed a large, flat hand in the middle of the form she was filling in, and she looked up into his laughing eyes and felt herself start to smile.
‘Did you want something?’
‘My grouting.’
‘Beggars can’t be choosers.’
‘I’ll swap you.’
‘Swap what?’
‘I’ll take you out for dinner next weekend, while Katie’s with her grandparents.’
Julia laughed. ‘You must hate it even worse than I do,’ she said, and he chuckled.
‘You can have no idea. So that’s a deal, then.’
‘No.’
‘What?’
‘You heard.’ She stopped pretending to work and looked up at him again. ‘David, we don’t have a relationship,’ she said quietly.
For a few seconds he was silent, searching her eyes, then he gave a gentle sigh. ‘I disagree. I think we do have a relationship—and I think it would be a tragedy not to explore it and extend it.’ He straightened up, taking his hand off the form, and looked down at her with tender and understanding eyes.
‘Give us a chance, Julia. I know you’re running scared, but we could have something really special here. I feel it, and I’m sure you do, too, or you wouldn’t have spent so much time with me already.’
He glanced at his watch and sighed again. ‘I have to go and see Mr Burrows, then I have to start my list. I’ll see you later—and think abo
ut what I said.’
‘You just want your grouting done,’ she said, trying to lighten the tone, but she sounded nervous and panicky, and he just smiled.
‘We’ll talk about that later.’
He went out and closed the door softly, and she stared blankly at the form on her desk and wondered if she dared allow him to talk her into this, or if it was just madness.
Her heart was skittering against her ribs, her breath was jamming in her throat and she could feel panic rising like a tide to swamp her.
He’s not Andrew, she told herself, but even so she was afraid. She’d been vulnerable before, and she’d been badly hurt. Did she dare risk it again?
‘Mummy, can David and his mummy and daddy come to my nativity play? I want them to see me being a lamb.’
‘Oh, darling, I don’t know if they can,’ Julia said, trying not to dash her daughter’s hopes too cruelly. ‘David’s very busy at work, and his parents have all the puppies and hens and things to look after. What about Granny and Grandpa Revell?’
‘I don’t want them. I want David. Can you ask him? Please, Mummy!’
She hesitated. ‘Well, yes, I can ask, but don’t get too excited. When is it?’
‘Tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow!’ Julia exclaimed, horrified. ‘I didn’t realise it was so soon! Oh, darling. They might be busy. Anyway, how many people can you take?’
‘Don’t know—I got a letter. Hang on.’ Katie rummaged in her little schoolbag and came out with a crumpled form. Julia smoothed it on the kitchen table and scanned through it.
‘You can take two people, it says here.’
‘You and David,’ she said promptly.
Oh, lord, Julia thought. I can’t sit there with him and watch my daughter in a nativity play like real parents! What will the teachers think? What about the other mothers?
‘Please, ring him,’ Katie said, handing her the phone.
She stared blankly at the instrument. ‘I don’t have his number,’ she said, and realised it was true.
‘Is he at the hospital? Ring him at the hospital, Mummy. Please—I really want him to come.’
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