‘Are you OK?’ he asked, and she realised he must have been awake. Watching over her? She didn’t know, but it felt like it, and it was wonderful.
More than she deserved.
She thought of his kindness to her that afternoon, the way he’d dropped everything and come straight to her, giving her unquestioning support and never once telling her what she’d known, that she’d failed Katie by not watching her.
Andrew would have told her.
No. What was she thinking about? Andrew wouldn’t have come near her, a widow with a child! No, he would have gone for the pert eighteen-year-old that David had talked about, like the girl he’d been with the night he’d died. There was certainly no way he would have come anywhere near her if she’d spoken to him the way she’d spoken to David on Sunday morning. His pride would have prevented it, but there was no sign of David’s pride.
Just his compassion, and caring, and loyalty.
She swallowed hard. He wasn’t anything like Andrew. She’d thought he was, because the sex had been so good and Andrew had always prided himself on his performance, but there had been no pride about David on Saturday night, just generosity and passion and honesty.
Maybe he really did love her? It seemed impossible that he could, but even more impossible that he didn’t, given the way he’d behaved since. Not only did he love her, she realised, but he’d been there for her when she’d needed him in a way Andrew would never have been.
So, so different. How could she possibly have confused them? Fear, of course. Fear of another failure, of more pain and humiliation, fear for Katie, but there was nothing to fear from David.
She realised that, now it was too late.
But not too late to apologise.
‘David?’ she whispered.
‘Mmm?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. ‘I said some dreadful things to you the other day, and I was wrong about you—appallingly, horribly wrong. Can you forgive me?’
He was silent for a moment, then turned towards her, his hand coming up and cradling her cheek. ‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ he said, his voice raw. ‘You were frightened. I pushed you too hard—you weren’t ready. And talking of forgiveness and saying dreadful things, I don’t know why I was so cruel to you. I can’t believe I said what I did about your body. It was totally uncalled for, even if they were your own words. I was just angry and hurt and I lashed out. I’m sorry.’
Her hand covered his in comfort. ‘Don’t be. And don’t lie to me about it. I know it’s no great shakes—’
‘It’s beautiful.’
She felt tears fill her eyes. ‘Don’t lie, please, David, don’t lie,’ she begged him, but he drew her closer into his arms and kissed her.
‘I’m not lying. You’re a wonderful woman, Julia. Brave and beautiful and strong and funny and sexy and tender, and if I wanted you any more than I do it would be dangerous for my health.’ He kissed her again, then said quietly, ‘Maybe it’s just because I love you.’
Her heart sang with joy. She’d thought she’d never hear him say those words again, and they gave her the courage she needed. She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek, revelling in the rasp of his beard against her palm.
‘I love you, too,’ she said unsteadily. ‘I have done almost from the moment we met. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to, because I didn’t think you could ever return my love and I was afraid of hurting Katie, but I couldn’t resist you. Now, though—I can understand if you don’t want to know, I’ve been a bit slow on the uptake, but today I realised I can trust you. I just hope it’s not too late for us. I want to be with you, share my life with you, have your children.’
She took a deep, steadying breath and went on, ‘Marry me, David. Please?’
For an endless moment she thought he was going to refuse, then he took her lips in a searing kiss that erased any last shred of doubt she might have had.
‘Oh, my sweet love, of course I’ll marry you,’ he said raggedly, and drew her back into his arms. ‘I thought I’d lost you—thought it was all over and I’d blown it—but now we’ve got another chance. I didn’t think we’d get that lucky. Let’s not blow it this time, please?’
He made love to her then, not like the wild and passionate mating of the weekend, but slow and tender and infinitely gentle, and at the end she wept in his arms, and their tears mingled on her cheeks.
They fell asleep with their limbs still entwined, and awoke to the sound of the children giggling with delight and bouncing on the beds next door.
‘Good grief, whatever time is it?’ he mumbled gently.
‘Time to get up?’ she suggested, and he gave a strangled laugh and turned on the bedside light.
‘It’s not even six!’
‘It’s Christmas.’
He dropped back onto the pillow and groaned. ‘Do we have to go down?’
She sat up and looked down at him, no longer worried about her nakedness. ‘I think so. We’ve got something to tell them, haven’t we?’
He smiled slowly. ‘Absolutely.’ He threw off the covers, retrieved his pyjamas from the foot of the bed and pulled them on, lobbing her nightshirt to her. ‘Come on, stick that on with your dressing gown and let’s go and tell them the news.’
They followed the sound of excited voices down the stairs, and found all the family gathered in the drawing room, trying to stall the children from opening the presents.
At the threshold David stopped her and drew Julia into his arms, glancing up at the mistletoe pinned to the beam above before kissing her lingeringly. ‘Happy Christmas,’ he said softly.
She thought of yesterday, and how she’d nearly lost everything that mattered to her in the world, and how now she had it all, and her lips softened in a smile of utter joy. ‘Happy Christmas,’ she echoed.
They turned towards the drawing room and found everyone had fallen silent, their eyes fixed on them with identical expressions of curious fascination.
‘I hope that kiss means what I think it means,’ Mrs Armstrong said searchingly, and David looked down at Julia for confirmation.
Over to you, he seemed to be saying. She looked at Katie, watching them with her head tilted to one side and a puzzled and slightly hopeful expression on her face.
‘How do you fancy a new daddy?’ Julia said, and Katie scrambled to her feet and ran over, looking up at them with shining eyes.
‘Do you mean David?’ she asked, and when he nodded, she squealed with delight and threw herself into his arms.
‘I take it that’s a yes,’ he said with a chuckle, scooping her up against his chest. Julia looked up at him, at his laughing eyes and tender smile, and her daughter hugging him and raining kisses on his early morning stubble, and felt her heart swell.
The others were hugging them and pumping David’s hand, his mother was in tears again, and Julia knew if she lived to be a hundred, there could never be a more perfect Christmas…
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5675-3
THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS
First North American Publication 2001
Copyright © 2001 by Caroline Anderson
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