To Know Her by Name

by Lori Wick

  Pup stopped, her eyes closing. Her mind was going so fast she felt she would burst. Suddenly it was wonderful that she wasn’t at home or on a job. She had been disappointed that McKay hadn’t been more aware of her situation, but now she really had time to think about this. Suddenly she had to see him. She turned from the bank toward the lake, tripping on a branch as she went. As usual she never noticed. Something else was on her mind.

  McKay had become concerned, so he was in the backyard when he spotted Pup coming from the direction of the lake. She didn’t seem to notice him and would have walked right past, but he called to her.

  “Oh, I didn’t see you,” she spoke as she approached, tripping again as she came. She stopped so close in front of McKay that they were nearly touching. “McKay, may I see that verse in John—the one we were talking about?”

  “Of course. Come on in. Did you go to the lake?” he asked as he led the way, but Pup didn’t answer. Her head was bent, her mind busy with the verse. She preceded McKay into the house as he held the door and then followed him to the kitchen, running right into the back of him when he stopped by the table. A smile lit his face before he turned to her. This was the Pup he knew best.

  “Why don’t you have something to eat, and I’ll get my Bible.”

  Pup then noticed that they were alone.

  “Do your folks sleep late?”

  “No. They’ve been down to eat, and now they’re getting ready for church.”

  “Oh.”

  “Here, sit down.” He got her to the table and put more coffee and a plateful of eggs and potatoes in front of her. He slipped upstairs for his Bible, but she still hadn’t eaten when he returned.

  “Eat up, Callie. I’ll find the verse.”

  She began by picking up the fork, but it didn’t go to her plate. She stirred her coffee with it and then set it back down, all the while staring at McKay.

  “It’s right here in chapter 10, verses 28 and 29. I’ll read them to you. ‘And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, who gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.’ And then, just as you talked about, Callie, we can know that Jesus is God’s Son because the next verse is Christ’s own words. It says, ‘I and my Father are one.’ ”

  He looked up to find her absentmindedly taking a drink of coffee and dripping some on the dark fabric of her dress. McKay came to earth with a thud. He desperately wanted to discuss these verses with her, but this was important too. With one hand he took her coffee mug from her and set it on the table. With the other hand he gently captured her jaw. When her face was turned and her eyes met his, he spoke.

  “You’re going to ruin your dress for church if you don’t watch what you’re doing.”

  “Oh,” Pup’s eyes widened, and she gave herself a shake. “I completely forgot to act.”

  McKay’s heart clenched with pain. Pup, who was still looking at him, read it in his eyes.

  “It’s like that, you know,” she stated quietly but without apology. “I’m clumsy if I’m not playing a role.”

  McKay looked at her a moment longer and then stood. He went to a drawer in the kitchen and brought out a tablecloth. A moment later he was draping Pup, loosely tying the ends of the cloth around her neck. He sat back down at the table to find her looking at him in surprise.

  “My mother never wears her Sunday dress to eat,” he said conversationally. “She always eats and then changes for church. You go ahead and eat, and I’ll keep your coffee warmed up.”

  Pup picked up her fork and began, but she didn’t taste much. She kept looking up at McKay. Finally she said, “You’re very kind, McKay. I’ve known that for some time now, but I never told you.”

  “I’m glad you find me kind. I wouldn’t want to treat you any other way.”

  Pup’s heart was too full to say anything more. McKay was very attractive to her right then, and with just a glimpse of insight into what had happened to her all those years ago on the streets of Boulder, she was overwhelmed.

  “How’s the coffee? Want more?”

  “No, it’s fine. Did you make the eggs?”

  “No, my father did the honors this morning.”

  She continued to eat but felt suddenly tired. She didn’t want to miss anything, but she would be tripping and spilling things the rest of the day unless she concentrated on her movements. However, she wasn’t given any more time to speculate on the matter or to give in to her fatigue. McKay’s parents were coming downstairs; it was time to go to church.

  The Longs Peak Bible Church was larger than Pup had been expecting. It was high-steepled, long, and unusually wide. There was a bell tower below the steeple, and the entire building was painted a soft dove gray. Because she pulled herself into a role the moment she finished eating breakfast, she was able to walk up the stairs and through the double doors without mishap.

  She was aware of McKay’s eyes on her but didn’t look at him. She couldn’t help play-acting right now; it was the only way she would not make a spectacle of herself. This lasted only until the sermon started and McKay, seated to her left, opened his Bible and held it out between them. With that Pup was lost. She had heard the opening words the pastor shared, but as soon as she noticed that McKay’s Bible was open to the book of John, she began to read and never looked up.

  McKay heard little of the sermon himself. His head was turned just enough so that his eyes were intent on Pup’s profile. It looked as if she read quickly and then at times would sit back slightly, her eyes focused straight ahead but not seeing the person in front of her.

  McKay glanced over at one time to find Brita Stuart’s gaze on him from the pew behind them. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, but there was little warmth in it. It was then that McKay realized how intently he’d been watching Pup. Things weren’t as Brita thought, but there was no way to explain. McKay continued to keep a close eye on his guest. His parents seemed sensitive as well, and from time to time he saw them glance over. He’d had a few minutes to tell them what had gone on at the table that morning so they could pray, but he knew that Callie Jennings was a complete mystery to them. He had to conclude that she was something of a mystery to him as well.

  He was somewhere in the middle of this thought when the organ sprang to life and everyone stood for the closing hymn. Pup shared a hymnal with Harry, who was on her right, and the moment they stopped singing she asked about a particular verse. Harry was so like McKay that she felt immediately comfortable with him.

  “That’s right out of Scripture,” he explained when he’d heard her out. “Would you like to see it?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Harry opened to the book of 2 Chronicles, and Pup, nearly his height, leaned close to follow his finger as he read one verse. “This is referring to sin and forgiveness. It shows God’s great love for His people,” he said.

  “By His people, you mean followers of Christ.”

  “Not in this verse. This verse is talking about Israel—the Jews—God’s chosen people all through history.”

  “But they rejected Him, didn’t they? I mean, wasn’t He crucified by the Jews?”

  “Yes, He was, Callie, but that’s an amazing thing about God’s love. It never changes. Because God is God, He knew His Son would be killed by the people who filled His heart, but He chose them and they remain His forever.”

  “Just like we do. No one can pluck us from the Father’s hand.”

  “That’s right.”

  McKay, who had been standing quietly to the side of them, watched the smile in his father’s eyes and knew just how he felt.

  “It wasn’t clear to me until this morning.”

  Harry nodded as he looked into her dark, intelligent eyes and saw how serious she was. “What was the turning point for you?”

  “Something McKay told me—that the decision I’d made as a child was still valid in God’s eyes. I haven’t
been to church regularly. At first I had no choice because I was so young, but lately I’ve just gotten accustomed to doing things on my own. That’s a sin, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, Callie,” he said gently. “Anytime we omit God from our world, we sin against Him.”

  “That’s just what I did,” she confessed plainly. “I left Him out of my life, but I realized today that He never forgot me. I think that’s a miracle.”

  Harry smiled. “It’s pretty wondrous.”

  Pup stepped back and bumped into McKay, stepping on the toe of his boot and putting her elbow into his stomach. She never even noticed he was there. McKay still felt the pressure on his toe and the blow to his stomach, but in a way they felt good. It meant that all pretense had dropped away. She was Pup once again.

  “How about a walk?” McKay asked Pup when Sunday dinner was over.

  “Sure,” Pup accepted, “just as soon as I help your mother with the dishes.”

  McKay’s look at the front of her dress caused her brow to lower.

  “I’ll pay attention,” she told him.

  “I’ll believe that when I see it,” he said good-naturedly.

  She wanted to feel angry with him, but in truth he had reason to doubt. All conversation during the meal had been about Scripture. Pup had spilled and upset her way through the entire meal. She had laughed when McKay got the tablecloth out for her again, but it was the only reason she didn’t look worse.

  “I will pay attention,” she said again. “I want to help.”

  “Why don’t I help?” Harry suggested. “You two go walk, and Liz and I will do the honors.”

  “Of course,” Liz put in. “Harry and I work very well together.”

  Pup didn’t answer, but McKay took her arm and led her toward the door. They were no more on the porch when she said, “I wouldn’t have broken anything, McKay.”

  “You didn’t come here to work, Callie.”

  “Well, I certainly didn’t come here to be waited on by your poor mother.”

  She had stopped on the porch, and he could see that she was not going to budge.

  “Be honest with yourself, Callie; you’re rather preoccupied today.” He couldn’t stop his eyes from dropping to the small spot on her front.

  Pup might have forgiven him this if he hadn’t looked so amused. She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I’ve done it now,” McKay mumbled.

  “I was not going to think about the Bible at all,” she declared, seeing in McKay’s eyes that he was barely holding his laughter.

  “Don’t you laugh,” she told him, but by now she was smiling.

  “Oh, Pup, what am I going to do with you?”

  “Not the dishes,” she managed to sound affronted, “that’s for certain.”

  She walked off the porch to the sound of his laughter. He followed her and caught up to walk by her side, but it was some time before either spoke. McKay had never known anyone like her. He was fairly certain that she was brilliant. Her social skills were excellent when she was acting, but when she was herself, such things like spilling coffee on her dress or mixing eggshell into her muffins were not a concern. Did any of that matter? McKay honestly didn’t know. It would have helped him to know that his parents were in the same quandary. They were discussing the issue right now.

  “Do you know what’s going on, Harry?” The young people had been gone for barely five minutes.

  “Not exactly,” he admitted.

  “Does McKay?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Husband and wife looked at each other.

  “She’s absolutely fascinating,” Liz said not unkindly.

  “She is that.”

  “All she wants to do is talk about Scripture, Harry. We don’t know anything about her personally.”

  “No, and I think it’s going to have to be that way, Liz.”

  Liz Harrington turned away from the cupboard and stared at her mate. Harry went on quietly.

  “Mickey always tells us everything he can. He never tells us things that have to remain confidential because that’s his job. I think it’s the same with Callie.”

  Liz stared at him. “You don’t mean you think she works for the treasury department?”

  Harry just looked at her. Liz couldn’t take it right then. She picked up another plate to dry, and Harry went back to scrubbing the large kettle.

  “Do you think she has any family left?”

  “I would guess not,” Harry answered. “But none of that matters. She’s here now and we’ll do all we can to show her love.”

  “Do you think McKay will become serious about her?”

  “There’s something special about that girl, Liz, I’ll give you that. But as to McKay’s feelings, I don’t know if he knows himself.”

  They finished the dishes in silence. Harry and Liz deeply loved their only son, and now God had brought this unusual woman into their midst. They both felt a sudden urge to pray.

  19

  Although they hadn’t discussed where to go, McKay and Callie walked to the lake. The lake reminded Pup of her home, and McKay had let her lead the way. They sat on a log, a fat one that had fallen years before, the sun at their backs, their eyes out over the surface of the water. It was then that McKay noticed the drops of perspiration on Pup’s brow. He was very comfortable in shirtsleeves, his tie and collar gone and the top button undone, but although Pup didn’t say anything, he could tell she was very warm. It suddenly occurred to him: The wig. It would have been like wearing a tight hat, one that didn’t let your head breathe.

  “Would you be cooler if you took the wig off?”

  Lost in thought, Pup looked over at him.

  “What’s that?”

  “I just noticed that you look hot. It’s pretty private here. You could take off the wig.” He was thinking of her and not of his own embarrassment.

  Pup glanced at the trees around them and then along the open spaces before looking at McKay.

  “It would be cooler, wouldn’t it?”

  McKay nodded. “I would think so.”

  With that Pup reached up and pulled the curls from her head. Her eyes closed with relief as soon as the breeze blew against her damp head.

  Watching her, McKay asked, “Better?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “You have the curliest hair I’ve ever seen,” he commented as he looked at the dark ringlets all over her head. “What is it like when it gets very long?”

  “It takes awhile for it to get heavy enough to hang down; it’s only happened once in the last 13 years. When it gets to that point, I just keep cutting it away from my face.” She ran a gentle hand over her scalp, slightly fluffing the black curls. “One time I pulled a hair straight out from the crown of my head. It was two feet long, but with the curls it only hung to my shoulders.”

  McKay shook his head in amazement.

  “My mother’s hair was light brown and straight—Jubal got that,” she informed him, “but Govern and I got Papa’s black curls.”

  “Govern did look a little like you. I’d have never made the connection without seeing you standing side-by-side, but there was a resemblance.”

  “Yeah,” Pup said softly, her eyes shifting back to the water. McKay wondered if he’d upset her.

  “Do you think about your folks much, Callie?”

  “I have this morning,” she admitted with a soft sigh. “I know Mama’s decision for Christ was as real as my own, but I don’t know what Papa believed. He was a fair man and an honest one, but he never had much time for church.” She paused for a moment. “Hell is a real place, isn’t it, McKay?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Pup sighed.

  “Does that upset you?”

  “I’ve always considered myself a realist, McKay, but I’ve been in some sort of dreamland concerning my brothers. I’ve wanted better for them, and unless they were staring me in the face, I imagined it to be so. When I saw Jubal at the bank in Denver, I thought I
would die. Before then I think I had myself convinced that it was all a case of mistaken identity or some other nonsense.”

  “That night you came to my room and asked me to get word to Nick,” McKay suddenly remembered, “I had seen Jubal in Denver and didn’t know whether or not I could tell you.”

  “I knew something wasn’t right,” Pup said, turning her head to look at him. “I thought Nick had set me up.”

  “He wouldn’t do that.”

  “No, he wouldn’t. It was wrong of me even to think it.”

  They fell quiet again. Having told McKay how she felt about her brothers, Pup felt better, but as it had in the morning, her mind swiftly turned back to all she had remembered about her conversion.

  “Tell me some more about Jesus Christ, McKay, will you?”

  “Sure.” He was more than happy to oblige. He began with Christ’s birth and was sharing with her about Jesus’ visit to the temple when she surprised him with a question.

  “He’d actually gone off and not told His mother where He was?”

  “That’s right.”

  “But isn’t that a sin?”

  McKay shook his head no. “Be careful not to lay the sin of Joseph and Mary on Jesus.”

  “I don’t follow you.”

  “They were both told by an angel that this child was the Christ, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “They knew before He was born that He was God.”

  “Okay.”

  “So this was something they needed to believe, truly believe. It was their choice, but they forgot that. The Bible says they searched for three days before checking in the temple. It was the last place they looked. And what did Jesus say to them? He said, ‘Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I would be in my Father’s house?’ If they had remembered who He was, they’d have looked there right away. Do you see what I’m saying? And don’t forget—this is God we’re talking about here, Callie; there was no sin involved.”

  She nodded with understanding, her face intent on his as she hung on every word. They talked on this way for several hours. A few times Pup asked questions of McKay that caused him to consider why he believed as he did, and he loved being challenged. She was like a thirsty cloth where Jesus was concerned, and a few times McKay mentally gasped at the depth and insight of her comments and inquiries. Before today he would not have considered her a seeking individual, but now he was seeing another side of her.