Mrs. Thorn laughs. “Oh, that is definitely true and that son of yours gets that from her too.”
I smile knowing a little about him helps. “Can I keep this?” I ask motioning to the picture in my hand.
“Of course. Would you like Shayla’s number? She’s told us several times if you ever showed up to give it to you if you wanted it.”
“Please. I don’t know if I’ll call. I need to get this …” I trail off not knowing what to say.
Mr. Thorn squeezes my shoulder. “We understand, son. Take your time. We won’t mention it to her. You both need to work through this on your own.”
I’m shocked he’d do that for me. “Thank you.”
Nine months pass and I never call. Well, I dial her number a few times, but I never push send. Then one day, I don’t know what made me do it, but I push send and she answers.
“Hello?” Shayla answers. I’m frozen. I can’t respond. “Hello? This is Doctor Thorn; do you need help?”
“Dr. Thorn?” I say. She’s a doctor. She made it, just like I knew she would.
“Yes, this is she. May I help you?”
I don’t know what brings on my anger, but I lash out. “Yeah, you can tell me why I was never told I was a father!” I yell.
“Oh, no! Ryan?”
“Of course, it’s Ryan.” I mock her with as much disdain I can muster. “This is the lowest thing anyone could ever do. I never thought you’d be capable of something so evil, Shayla. You let me go for the past fifteen years, totally unaware. How could you do that?”
There is silence, then, “Excuse me. I’ll be in my office, but only get me if there’s an emergency. This is important.” I hear walking and a door shutting. “Ryan?”
“I’m here.” I’m breathing heavily, my adrenaline pumping wildly.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t even tell you how sorry. I tried, in the beginning, to contact you.” Her voice shakes as she speaks.
I’ve scared her. Good. I know she had tried; I ignored her calls but she still should have tried harder to get a hold of me. She shouldn’t have given up so easily.
“That’s why you kept calling?”
“Yes.”
My anger starts to deflate, but is still very much present. “It wasn’t because you wanted me back?”
“No … I mean, I did, but I accepted you didn’t want me. I just wanted you to know about your son.”
I snort. Didn’t want her. If only she knew how wrong that was … is … was. I’m so confused right now.
“Dylan?”
“Yes, Dylan James Thorn.”
“James?” My middle name as well as her birth father’s name.
“Yes.”
Something about knowing that I’m represented in his name causes the rest of the anger to fall away. I’m still upset, but I’ve had nine months to process, to accept. I honestly wasted those months. I should have gone straight to her, but she was married and Dylan was happy. Even though, at first, I wanted to rip him away from her, I couldn’t do that. My siblings and mother made sure I didn’t do anything rash or stupid. I step out on my back porch and stare at the treehouse in the backyard of Shayla’s old home. A couple of kids, a boy and girl were playing, screaming, and chasing each other. They remind me of a more innocent time.
“The treehouse?” I ask, as the memory of us hits me.
“What?”
“It had to have been in the treehouse. That was the first time.”
“Yeah, I mean, there was only twice, but I figured the first. The math works.”
“Sorry I yelled.”
“Don’t be. I deserve it.”
I shake my head. She’s always taken the blame, even when we were kids. “Don’t do that. We’re both at fault. It’s overwhelming.” We’re both silent as the minute’s tick by. It’s uncomfortable at best. When I can’t take it anymore, I ask, “Does he know about me?”
“Yes. Gale sent me a yearbook so I could show him a picture. It’s black and white, but it’s all I have.”
I nod. We had tons of pictures, but they’re all at my mom’s.
“I want to talk to him.”
“Okay, let me talk to him and I’ll see what he wants to do.”
I snort, anger flaring again. “How about you let me talk to my son, because I have that right. You didn’t list me as the father, but I have blood right to him. I’m sure any judge would agree.”
“You’ll not take my son from me,” she snarls.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to get to know my child. You took what wasn’t just yours.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t talk to him. I said I’d let him decide. He’s not a child. He’s fourteen.”
A knock on my car window startles me out of my thoughts. I was so horrible to Shay. I don’t know how she forgave me, but by the next phone call, I’d calmed down and we talked. She told me about her divorce and moving home. I decided to wait to talk to Dylan. I wanted to be sure I was calm. I didn’t want him to hate me if I was caught off guard and said something out of anger. I look up at my knocker and smile.
“Son, what are you doing?”
“You’ve been sitting in the car for over thirty minutes. I thought you were practicing with us today. The guys are getting restless. He pointed back to the field.”
“Sorry. Just thinking. Actually, I have to head to the station; I just stopped by to check on you. Is Matthews not here?”
“No, he’s here. He just thought you needed something. I’m still okay to ride with Ty, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I told your mom. She said dinner’s at six.”
“Okay. I’ll be back. Practice is over at four.”
“Good. I’ll come to Monday’s practice. I have some paperwork to finish so I better get going.”
He nods. “You sure you’re okay? Mom’s okay?”
I smile. “We’re both fine, buddy. I’m just a little distracted, that’s all.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at home then.”
I nod, smiling, before backing out of the parking spot and heading to the station. I still can’t believe that I’m where I am now, my son in my life, Shay in my life again. I hate myself for not getting my act together sooner, but I’m going to make up for that. If it’s the last thing I do.
~*~
I’ve been working in my office for about an hour when May, my assistant, pokes her head around the corner.
“You have a phone call on line three. A Special Agent Marsh?”
I smile and nod. “Yeah, thanks. Shut the door, please.” She does as I ask and I pick up the phone. “Harry! How’s it going, man?”
“Same as always. I finally popped the question to my girl.”
“No kidding! Man, congrats. That’s awesome.”
“Thanks. It’s going to be crazy big. You should come. How’s life in Podunk?”
I laugh. “Ah, it’s not bad. Now anyway. At first, it was miserable. My mom was sick, finding out I have a teenaged son, finding a house. It’s been crazy.”
“Whoa, now. Back that up. You have a teenaged son?”
“Yeah. Nothing like finding out something like that through your realtor.”
“Shayla?” He asks, his voice still shocked.
I clear my throat. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about Dylan and Shayla, but a part of me wants to keep them for myself, but he is my best friend and I haven’t spoken to him in over a year. He’d been on a case when I left and other than the quick email on a case I’d been on, we hadn’t had time to chat.
“Yeah.”
“What in the world? I just can’t comprehend why she wouldn't tell you.”
Sighing, I tell him, “She tried to tell me. I was too stubborn to listen. Then my dad and her social worker had her scared to death. She thought I’d go to jail if she told, which could have been possible. I had turned eighteen when we had sex the first time. And cliché as it is, she got pregnant from that.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine. I bet you were pissed a
t her.”
“Yeah, I went through a big angry phase. I hated her for a while, but then we really talked. I don’t blame her for what happened. She was trying to protect me and our son. I wish I’d come home during the past years, but that was my choice.”
“She’s lived there this whole time?”
“No, she lived up north about six hours from here. She moved back after her scum of an ex broke her heart.”
“How’d your parents not know?”
I snort in disgust. I still haven’t forgiven my father. “My dad did know. He scared the crap out of Shay so she never told a soul. Made it seem like it was a boy in one of the homes she was in. Her adoptive parents figured it out, but she didn’t confirm it until a few years ago. There’s no denying he’s mine. The boy is my twin.” I laugh.
“That’s awesome. Congrats, Papa,” he laughs.
I smile. “Yeah, man. It’s been great. I never thought of myself as a father, but hearing him call me dad, it’s been … life changing really.”
“I bet. Hey, I hate to ruin all this happy talk, but I called with some info for you.”
“Hit me,” I tell him sitting back in my chair ready for whatever he throws at me.
I hear shuffling papers and his throat clearing before he says, “You remember Jason Mathis?”
“Of course, The Fox Killer.”
“He’s been released.”
I fly up out of my seat in shock, almost knocking my coffee over. “What do you mean he’s been released? Tell me you’re lying. He killed ten people! Ten, Marsh! And that’s only the ones we found. Who knows how many there truly are.”
“I know, I know. One of the witnesses recanted her statement. Somehow, they came up with undeniable proof she was lying. She’s in jail for falsifying. It’s messed up. They’re still trying to pin him with what’s left, but she was a major witness. The whole case is being reevaluated. He was held as long as possible, but his release was ordered.”
I let out a huge breath. I have no clue what to think. This guy was no joke. It took me over two years to take him down. There’s no way that my biggest case could have had some technicality that would throw the evidence into question. This whole thing reeks of an inside job.
“This is huge,” I finally say.
“It is, but that’s not all. He left an origami fox on his bunk.”
My heart sinks. That’s his calling card. He left it with his victim as a clue before he’d kill his next victim. I almost don’t want to ask, knowing the implications of the answer but I do anyway.
“What was in it?”
“A hair. Forensics ran it, but there’s nothing in the data base. We have nothing to go on. We’ve got uniforms on him, watching, but he’s being citizen of the year.”
“Keep me posted.”
“I will. He was ordered to stay put and check in with a parole officer, not that that will stop him if he wants to leave.”
“Right, I’ll do what I can, but I don’t know what good I’ll be.”
“They have your testimony, but you might have to come back in once the case is back in court.”
“Yeah, anything. I have to get going. I’m meeting Shay and Dylan for dinner.”
“You guys back together already?” he asks with a chuckle.
I can’t help smiling. “Nah, but it’s only a matter of time. She wants me. I can tell.”
He guffaws. “Oh, there we go with your Rico Sauvé ways.”
I laugh with him. “Nah, it’s not like that. I love her. Always have. I’m tired of messing around. We messed up as kids, we wasted sixteen years without each other, I’m done. I want her and Dylan.”
“I get it. That’s awesome. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. And thanks for calling. Keep me in the loop.”
“I will. Later, Jacobs.”
“Later, Marsh.”
I shake my head, trying to wrap my head around the news that Mathis is out. Jason Mathis was my biggest case. I was undercover in the Mathis Crime Organization for almost a year. That was what I was doing when my dad died. We had so much evidence, it should’ve been impossible to turn over. Something is very wrong here. My initial thoughts are that it’s an inside job, that some official is pulling what should be un-pull-able strings. I slam my hand down on my desk. I have a sinking feeling he’ll be coming for me. He sees me as his nemesis. I don't think he can find me, but I’ll be damned if I let him get to me or my family. I grab my things and head out of the office, ignoring the wave May gives me as I pass her.
My mind is everywhere as I travel to Shay’s. I can’t even process what would happen if Mathis came after me. Shayla and Dylan are my priority now. I won’t let anything happen to them. When I finally arrive at Shayla’s, she calls out to me to just take a seat, that dinner is almost ready.
“Will do,” I say as I do what she tells me.
I’m happy that dinner is a simple affair, but a happy one. I want more days like this with them; this natural day-to-day conversation has already lightened my mind and put Mathis’ release on the back burner for now. This is what I never knew I needed, my family.
~*~
Sunday comes quicker than I would have imagined. It’s afternoon as I watch my son pace back and forth in the living room while we wait for Shayla to finish getting ready. We are set to head over to my grandma Penny’s house. The whole family will be there, well, all that can be at least. Dylan seems uneasy about something, but I can’t imagine what he would be nervous about.
“Son, you’re wearing a hole in the floor.”
He stops and turns towards me. “Sorry. I’m just worried. What if they don’t like me?”
I snort. “They love you already.”
“How’s that even possible. They’ve never met me.” He finally sits down in the chair across from me.
“You’ve talked to my mom on the phone, you know she’s head over heels for you.”
This, of course, is an understatement. Sure, my mom has other grandkids, but Dylan is the oldest. She’s seen him over the years and always suspected he was mine, but every time she brought it up to my dad he shut her down quickly. She was relieved to know she wasn’t crazy and that Dylan did indeed look like me, because he was mine. It caused a big rift between my mom and Gale’s relationship, but it's now on the mend. She understood this was my father’s doing and she wasn’t unaccustomed to his poor choices.
“Yeah, on the phone, but what if I’m not good enough in person?”
I tilt my head to the side and stare at him for a second, before standing to my feet and kneeling in front of him. I rest my hand on his shoulder so he’s looking straight at me.
“Dylan, my family isn’t Todd. They aren't going to turn you away or think anything other than how lucky they are to have you with them. I feel the same. I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but you are my son and I love you. Nothing could ever change that. It was instant the moment I saw your picture at the Thorns.”
“But I wasn’t good enough for T …”
I stop him. “Todd is a jackass. He didn’t know what a good thing he had. And you know what? I’m glad. If he hadn’t screwed up, I wouldn’t be here right now with you.”
I pull him into a hug. I feel him sighing in relief and his tears soaking my shirt. He’s needed to do this, to get out his true fear. Todd made him feel unwanted. Oh, but this boy is so wanted and so needed, he has no idea. I wasn’t lying when I said it was instant. The very moment I looked at that picture, I loved him. I may have been angry, but never with him. He’s not done a thing wrong in this situation. I rub his back soothingly, holding him tightly, trying to comfort him the best I can. To make up for all the times I should’ve been there but wasn’t.
“Hey, what’s going on? What happened?” Shayla asks, sitting on the arm of the chair. Dylan sits back and pulls her to him. She’s halfway in his lap and in the chair. She squeaks at the suddenness. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?”
“I’m scared.”
“Of not being good enough for the Jacobs’.” He sits back, wiping his eyes. I grab some tissues from the table and hand them to him.
“You are a Jacobs and you are good enough. That was never the issue. Trust me,” Shayla says.
He leans his head back on the chair and rubs his eyes. “I need to know why you did it. Why you didn’t tell them about me?”
I look at Shay and she looks at me. She moves back to the arm of the chair so she can see him better. I can see she is debating, running through possible responses and then she looks resolved as she starts speaking.
“I was in foster care when your dad and I started dating. He’s older than me, not that it’s wrong, it’s fine. We could date, but we couldn’t be intimate. He could’ve gotten into big trouble, even though the Thorns were adopting me, and the worker didn’t know I was pregnant until it was finalized. I begged them not to tell. I didn’t show until really late in my pregnancy and I wore baggy clothes. Simon, my caseworker, he didn’t know until you were two. He sought me out. He tried then to get me to tell him who your dad was, but I told him it wasn’t his business anymore. He knew it was your dad, accused him. He wanted me to press charges. Plus …”
I stop her. I turn to Dylan. “Your grandpa, my dad, he scared your mom. That’s why as soon as she graduated, you guys moved away.”
“That’s why Maw and Pop came to stay with us so much? You didn’t want to come back here?” Dylan asks.
“I was so afraid that even though I was over eighteen, they’d still find a way to press charges. I knew your dad was in the military and I just imagined all these terrible things happening to him. I couldn’t bring myself to admit to anyone that he was your dad until you asked when you were nine. I knew then I had to, but I made Maw and Pop promise not to tell anyone until I could reach your dad.” She took a huge breath, then looked over at me. I can see tears in her eyes. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I called your dad,” she says to me, then turns to Dylan, “your grandpa, shortly after your birthday that year, and told him you were curious. I told him I understood he didn’t want Ryan to know and that was fine, I was engaged, and I didn’t want anything. I just thought you should at least know your dad. He told me Ryan couldn’t be reached and if I tried to call him again or contact Ryan, he’d press charges for harassment. I should have kept trying, but I didn’t want to cause problems.”
Vengeance (Oak Grove Suspense Book 1) Page 6