by Ivy Barrett
“My business was legal. Many would argue the morality of what I did. Still, I was careful to remain on the right side of the law.” He blew out a sigh and turned to face her, resting his hip against the massive rock. “Petra owns the Dark Star and her moral convictions were far different from mine. Her only criterion was the correct amount of credits. She didn’t ask questions and she ensured the anonymity of all her clients no matter how corrupt.”
“You worked for Petra, so you were—”
“I worked with Petra. She didn’t control me nearly as much as she liked to think, and she sure as hell didn’t own me. However, your point is valid. Because she chose to do business with elements I would have refused, I was drawn deeper and deeper into…” He shook his head and stepped away from the rock, anxiety revealed by his restlessness. “It would take me years to detail my downward spiral. Suffice it to say, small compromises led to larger compromises until I hardly recognized myself. I don’t blame this on Petra. I want to make that clear. I’m responsible for my decisions. All she did was provide opportunities for me to misbehave.”
“Were you romantically involved with her?”
“I don’t know if what we had was ever romantic. It was sexual and intense and destructive.”
“Who ended the relationship?”
“I did—in a rather cruel way. We had ended the affair and gotten back together several times before I had finally had enough. I wanted to make sure she understood there was no hope of reconciliation.”
Serena didn’t ask for specifics. She would be able to gently maneuver his soul strands with the information he’d given her. Curiosity demanded every detail, but this was an encouraging start.
“Tell me about the criminals. Was this the first time you’d agreed to do business with such people?”
“They weren’t just criminals. They were amoral and extremely violent. Their main business was weapons, but they’d found a market for my toys. I knew I was sinking to an all-time low, but I made the deal. When I delivered the first shipment, they gave me an unexpected bonus along with my generous payment.”
“They intentionally infected you?”
“No. I didn’t realize they dealt in biological weapons as well as the more traditional kind. Their leader had just mutated an ancient Terran virus called paralytic poliomyelitis.” He smiled, accepting a momentary reprieve from the tension. “I’m sure that means nothing to you. It’s more commonly known as degenerative polio. It was a nasty disease before he messed with it. By the time he finished, it was fast-acting and lethal.”
“How did this person keep from becoming ill?”
“He’d vaccinated himself and his team before they started manipulating the virus. The vaccination kept them from suffering the effects of the illness, but they became carriers. On the return trip to Halley Prime, I fell ill, as did my crew. The space station’s biosensors detected the contamination and we were quarantined.”
“Was the arms’ dealer apprehended?”
“Yes, but none of the crewmembers survived.”
“Except for you.” He responded with a stiff nod. Understanding his regret was only the beginning. He must forgive himself for living when the others had died. “When did the nightmares begin?”
“After the radical treatment that saved my life.”
No surprise there. “This treatment was not available to the others on your ship?”
“They deteriorated too quickly.” He released a long breath, as if to purge his body of the unpleasantness. “I was responsible for their deaths, yet I was the only one to survive the fiasco. After I accepted that I had a second chance, I knew I had to change my life. If I went on as I had before, they would have died for nothing.”
She paused for a moment, giving him the opportunity to compose himself as she considered how to proceed. “What specifically are you determined to change?”
“Everything.” He finger combed his hair, sending the gold-streaked mass into untidy waves. “I want my life to mean more than helping people to fuck.”
Choosing her words carefully, she prepared to oppose him. Why did offworlders disregard the importance of sex while they built palaces to fulfill their need for pleasure? They squandered fortunes to satisfying a simple bodily function—through technology! The contradiction made no sense. Sex was about touching and being touched, connecting and sharing with another living, breathing person.
“If you had spent your life learning how to cook and perfecting your recipes so people could savor your food, would you feel ashamed?” He just stared at her, so she completed the analogy. “You provided people with sustenance for their carnal appetites. Is sexual desire any less relevant than physical hunger?”
“A person can survive without sex. They will die without food.”
“Survive perhaps, not experience life the way the Deity intended. If we were not meant to enjoy expressing our sexuality, it wouldn’t feel so good, and we wouldn’t want it so badly. We laugh, we cry, we eat, we fuck and ultimately we die. They are all natural parts of life’s unending cycle.”
He returned to the outcropping and folded his arms over his chest, staring out across the valley. “You’re not at all what I expected.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
She stayed back for a moment, content to look at him. By helping—propelling—her through her fear, he’d left her feeling confident and bold. He was as constrained by regret as she’d been by fear. It was time they both let go.
“I wanted to share this with you because you shared something amazing with me.” Careful not to intrude on his view, she moved closer. “Let me touch you, Matt. Let me give you pleasure while you revel in the Deity’s handiwork.”
Their gazes locked and her heartbeat faltered. He parted his lips as if he meant to say something important. With the blink of his eyes the intensity was gone, replaced by simple desire.
“I’d like that very much,” he said instead. “Unfortunately, your watchdogs are still watching and I’ve always been more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist.”
Puzzled by his statement, she looked around. She hadn’t seen or heard her guards since she ordered them to give her some privacy. The outcropping behind Matt was the only inconsistency in an otherwise rounded summit. “We’re the only ones here.”
“They’re hiding at the trailhead and have been since we arrived. They’re trying to be inconspicuous, but I can hear their voices.”
She called out in a sharp, succinct tone. After an awkward pause, Fyn stood, brushed off his knees and waited for her command. Vitik took a moment longer to appear.
“Start down the mountain,” she told them firmly in Perrlain. “We will meet you at the bottom when we’ve finished enjoying the view.”
Vitik started forward. “I’m not comfortable leaving you here with—”
“It was not a suggestion. The trail is the only way up here. I’m perfectly safe.”
“Intruders are not my only concern,” he persisted.
“Go.” She waited until they disappeared from view before turning back to Matt. “Are they gone?”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they double back, but they’re headed down the mountainside.”
“Was your hearing always so acute,” she hesitated before adding, “or are your ears…”
“My ears were improved during one of the procedures.”
She accepted the answer with a vague nod. What sort of technology enabled a person to hear sounds half a mountain away? Curious yet unwilling to digress, she returned to the outcropping and touched his arm.
“Even if they double back, I don’t want it to distract you. My guards are well aware of the challenges awaiting me. As long as they know I’m participating willingly, they won’t interfere.”
“How comforting,” he grumbled.
Moving in front of him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against his tall form. “Let me see if I can help you release some of your inhibitions. We enj
oy watching and being watched. There is no shame in expressing our sexuality, so there are erotic elements in most of our traditions.” She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach his mouth, which caused her breasts to rub against his chest. His lips parted at the first brush of her tongue and her pulse leapt. Never before had she taken the initiative, never been the one in control.
He parted his thighs, fitting her body more snugly to his. His cock pressed against her belly and his hands rubbed her back. Curling and stroking, their tongues danced from his mouth to hers and back. She rocked her hips and his hands moved to her bottom, lifting her slightly so her mound aligned with the base of his shaft.
Anticipation tightened her core yet determination subdued her need. She wanted to touch and taste him, pleasure him as selflessly as he had pleasured her.
Tearing her mouth away from his, she kissed a trail down his neck and onto the wide expanse of his chest. She pulled his shirt up and explored his warm skin, wandering ever downward. Leaving his shirt bunched around his torso, she knelt and unfastened his shorts. He grabbed the rock on either side of his hips, his gaze boring into hers.
“You’re supposed to be enjoying the view,” she reminded him with a smile.
“I am.”
Joy surged through her, unexpected and intoxicating. She’d dreamed of tasting him, feeling the demanding slide of his cock against her tongue ever since she saw him naked the first time. Bowing her head, she hid the hunger in her eyes and focused on his pleasure. She wanted this to be as good for him as his carnal kiss had been for her.
She caressed each ripple in his abdomen. How had a scientist sculpted his body to such perfection? Separating the front of his shorts, she tugged them past his hips. He wore nothing beneath.
The tops of his thighs were lightly tanned and dusted with light brown hair. His balls nestled between his thighs while his cock rose to meet her. She slipped one hand between his legs and cradled his sac, amazed by the warm weighty feel of him.
“Do you like being touched here?” Her voice sounded tremulous.
“I like being touched.”
She licked her other hand, wetting her palm as well as her fingers. “You have an amazing body.” Closing her fingers around his shaft, she slid from tip to base then reversed direction. “I’ve wanted to touch you since you pressed against me at the bathing pools.”
Up and down she stroked, shifting her gaze between his rugged face and his growing erection.
“You have no idea how hard it was for me to stop with little more than a kiss.” He chuckled, a deep, throaty sound. “You tease like a nymph yet you’re so innocent.”
She leaned in and breathed across the flared head of his cock. “I’m not as innocent as you think.”
He caught her face between his hands and drew her gaze to his. “You’re more innocent than you realize. Don’t be in a hurry to give that away.”
His gaze took on a sadness, a world-weary haze that made her want to weep. Like his soul strands, his eyes were far older than his face.
Keeping one hand on his erection, she pressed the other to the center of his chest. “Here there is no past or future. No fear or regret. For as long as we stay on this mountaintop, no one else exists.”
Framing her face with his hands, he stared into her eyes. “We should have brought more food. I may never want to leave.”
She parted her lips as his face descended. Kissing had never held much appeal until she met Matt. So many things had been unimpressive before Matt stumbled into her life. His lips moved against hers and she wished they were naked. Even caressing his cock wasn’t as thrilling as having him covering her, rubbing against her and thrusting into her.
“I want you naked.” His urgent whisper echoed her thoughts.
Not bothering with all her buttons, he unfastened the first few then pulled her top off over her head. He stood and kicked his shorts aside before spreading her shirt across the rock. He tugged off his shirt and placed it beside hers. This left only their footwear and her shorts.
“The ground is pretty rough,” he muttered. “We better leave our shoes on.”
“Our feet need protection from the ground?” She glanced from the clothing-draped rock to their feet and back. “How do you intend to do this?”
“I intend to sit on this rock and watch the most amazing woman I’ve ever met pleasure me with her mouth. Beyond that, we’ll decide together.” He sat on the edge of the rock, arms braced to the side, legs spread, waiting.
The sun bathed his body in golden light, accenting the streaks in his hair and the raw power of his physique. Her insides awakened, melting with anticipation and need. She shed her shorts and dropped them between his feet, kneeling on the thin barrier.
His intent stare was arousing and intimidating. Was he comparing her to his other lovers? Or was he simply anxious for her to begin? She chose to believe the latter and reached out her hand. With his clothing gone, there was so much more to explore. She ran her hands up his calves and over his knees. The faint sprinkling of hair tickled her fingers. Dipping her thumbs into the bend beneath his knees, she watched his face. She was sensitive here. Did her caress please him?
He scooted closer, resting against the outcropping rather than actually sitting on it. She caressed his thighs and hips, watching him harden further and flush. He didn’t rush her, let her discover and tease.
By the time she closed her fingers around his cock, it was rock-hard, the veins distended. She bent to him, running her tongue up the underside of his shaft. His animalistic groan sent a wave of lust cascading through her body. No wonder he’d enjoyed licking her. Giving pleasure was as thrilling as being aroused.
She sucked on the wide, flared head, swirling her tongue over and around as her lips created a snug seal. He made another needful sound and pushed his hands into her hair. She expected him to take control, to fuck her mouth until he spilled his seed down her throat.
He arched slightly, his ass lifted off the rock then relaxed. His hands remained in her hair, but he made no move and issued no command. Her excitement intensified, trust sweetening the desire already boiling within her. He would force nothing upon her. They would make this journey together.
Her lips loosened and she slid her mouth farther down his shaft. Even with her head tilted back, she couldn’t take all of him. She cupped his balls with one hand and stroked his shaft with the other.
Orillia had given her detailed instructions and Serena had seen the act performed countless times. Still, imagining something was never the same as actually doing it. Just the head of his cock almost filled her mouth. How was she ever going to get him into her throat?
“I don’t want to come like this.” He tried to pull out of her mouth.
She’d barely started. There was no way she was stopping now. Bobbing her head, she savored the contrast of hard flesh and soft skin, masculine power and utter vulnerability.
Sucking firmly as she reached the tip, she stroked the sensitive crease where the tiny slit formed. A salty-sweet liquid coated her tongue. He tasted like firmine wine and something she couldn’t quite define. How was that possible? Orillia had warned her to expect a sharp, distinctly salty gush. Had he released his seed? She’d expected there to be more fluid.
“Stop!” Moving his hands to her shoulders, he pushed her back. His cock fell free from her mouth, still fully erect. “I’m almost impossible to swallow. I’d rather come inside you anyway.”
“You were inside me,” she challenged him.
“You know what I mean.” His chest heaved and his cheeks were as flushed as the head of his cock.
“We drank firmine wine with our midday meal. Why does your… You taste like wine.”
“Don’t do this now.” He pulled her to him, hiding his expression with the proximity of their bodies. “Can’t we just enjoy each other?”
“Did I imagine the taste?” She wasn’t sure why it was important, but some inner voice made her persist.
Chapter Seven
Matt eased his hold and allowed Serena to rock back on her heels. Everything had been so perfect. Her selfless expression of passion had been more thrilling than anything he could remember. He wanted nothing more than to continue this, to make love to her with the staggering combination of intensity and tenderness that twisted inside him even now. His fragmented honor wouldn’t allow him to pretend.
She had to know. Before he joined his body with hers, she had to understand what he was. If she pulled back in revulsion, he’d do everything in his power to overcome her misconceptions, but he had to tell her.
“I…” He sighed, words evaporating as he gazed into her eyes. Not a good start.
“What’s the matter?” She rested her hands on his thighs.
There was no artifice in Serena. She said what she thought and fought fiercely for the things in which she believed. He would not deceive her.
“The illness I mentioned was worse than you can imagine. My body wasted away and my internal organs failed until there was no option but to replace them.”
Her gaze narrowed and her brow knitted. This must be incredibly hard for her to comprehend. “This is like the artificial arm you mentioned? Parts of your body were manufactured?”
Wanting to see how she reacted to the concept before he revealed any more, he nodded. “My reproductive system couldn’t be saved. When I prepare to…release now, the cybernetic system creates the needed fluid from whatever I most recently drank.”
“That’s why you tasted like wine?” A hint of distaste crept into her tone. “Isn’t that taking recycling a bit too far?”
He chuckled despite the flush creeping up his throat. “If the system had been designed any other way, I would have been required to add the appropriate fluid each time I had sex. That would have been awkward at best. Don’t you think?”
Her expression turned distant and thoughtful, the momentary discomfort slipping away. “Are you able to father children or was that ability destroyed by the disease?”
“Conception will be complicated at best. My sperm was harvested and frozen, so there is a limited supply. I carry four microencapsulated bullets within me. If I want to attempt conception, I release one of these bullets when I ejaculate. The capsule dissolves, thawing the sperm, and I hope for the best. If all four bullets fail, I can ‘reload’ or explore other options until all of my sperm has been used.”