I went and sat upstairs on the terrace, in the shade, and positioned myself where I could best enjoy the breeze that had picked up by then. I sat by myself, and answered the calls in an automatic manner. I would simply say that I did not know the trends as I was out somewhere. And I smoked, and smoked. I smoked well above my usual couple of mini cigars. It was suddenly a very lonely feeling, and my life as an MP flashed before me. I kept reminding myself that at least it had been an honest and honourable tenure. I could not be accused of any wrongdoing on any count. If such be God’s will, then so be it. When visitors began to arrive by midday, I came downstairs to be with them.
The parents called as I walked down. Father sounded very downbeat, very dejected. And Mother was her usual self, looking for the best in the worst situation. She said, ‘It is just as well that this is the result, for you were burning yourself out, and your stress would have killed you. This is God’s way of helping you for the future.’ I thanked her, and then she gave the phone to the children. Hamir asked if I would now go back to journalism. It was too early to say, I told him. ‘If you go back, then join The Hindu so that I can get a free subscription to Sportstar,’ he replied, and gave the phone to Harshini. The sadness in her voice killed me. I thought she was crying. In any case, she does not like politics, and now this. At that moment, I felt worse for her than I did for myself.
When the final results came in, I had polled 2,97,391 votes, as against the Congress candidate’s 4,16,497 votes. I really wondered whether it was worth all the effort that had been put in—all the hours on the road, the countless numbers of meetings, the years of having done it my way, and then this result. I used to do a constituency round during every summer, when the budget session of Parliament was over. It was the most brutal time to be in the district, blistering hot with dust storms raging. It was also the time when the children would be home from boarding school, but I would still do the constituency round. I would sacrifice time with the kids to be in the constituency, and now I asked myself if there could have been another way of doing it. The demand is always for being seen physically in every village, all the time. That is the basic expectation that people have. Could I have done it any differently, I wondered. I thought of those who do not make the heavy effort that I do, and yet manage to retain their seats. What was I doing wrong, I asked myself, probing without any bitterness.
There were visitors constantly going and coming, and I had to keep up conversation with them, which was very trying for me—just the sheer repetitiveness of the whole exercise. Sang Singh, the former Jaisalmer MLA, looked ashen when he walked in, and I thought he would begin to cry on me. I calmed him down. A friend sent a text message from Delhi asking if it was true, and I said yes. Then he asked how I was taking it, to which I replied that now I had a more real experience of losing than I had had in the first election, in 1999. Rajeev Chandrashekhar, the Rajya Sabha MP and a dear friend, called from Bangalore to share his unhappiness and his opinion of how the campaign had been conducted by the party. I told him that now I would have more time to share our common music interests.
It was very difficult to eat lunch, but it was more difficult to make Chitra eat. I cajoled her into eating, telling her that she would fall sick if she didn’t. After a couple of bites, she suddenly pushed her plate away and, with tears welling up in her eyes, said, ‘This is so unfair. For ten years, my children and I have sacrificed our time with you for your politics and your constituency. And this is the reward we get!’ And then she broke down. She is a woman who rarely cries; I could only get up and hug her.
PS: It became worse later that night when Manchester United drew their away match with Arsenal, pipping Liverpool to the Premier League title. That was a double whammy, if ever there was one.
Barmer Characters
Allah Noor: junior Pir of Sehlau, influential Muslim leader and author’s supporter
Amin Khan: influential former supporter of author, once expelled from the Congress and now a minister in the state government in Jaipur
Amra Ram: influential former MLA for Pachpadra and minister in the earlier BJP government in the state, belonging to the Kalbi community. He lost the previous Assembly election because he was opposed by an uncle of the author, and the Kalbis held this against the author.
Asu Singh: block president of the BJP in Siwana
Balram Prajapat: former Barmer district president of the BJP and chairman of the Barmer Municipal Council
Bapji (Gaj Singh): erstwhile maharaja of Jodhpur
Bhavani Singh: honest and effective sarpanch of Nagarda village, author’s supporter
Bhupesh Acharya: well-informed local stringer
Chandan Singh Bhati: the local news stringer for wire services
Chandresh Kumari: Congress candidate for the Jodhpur parliamentary constituency, author’s cousin
Chitra: author’s wife
Chotu Singh: the aptly-named diminutive BJP MLA from Nehdai in Jaisalmer
Dashrath Meghwal: disgruntled BJP leader in the Shiv Assembly constituency
Data: author’s father, Jaswant Singh, BJP leader and MP
Deepa Ram: a bhopa, priest-cum-singer with clairvoyant powers
Devi Singh Judiya: a close friend of the author, well informed on local matters
Devi Singhji: BJP MLA from Kolayat in Bikaner
Dimpu: author’s brother
Dungar Singh: young lawyer and loyal supporter of author
Durjan Singh: staunch supporter of author, even though he joined the Congress
Dwarka Ram: descendant of Sada Ramji, one of the most important local deities
Ganpat Singh Tanu: A Congress supporter, but close to the author, he was once prominent in the BJP youth wing
Ghazi Fakir: influential Muslim leader, and main representative of the Pir Pagaro (of Sindh) in the area
Gorakhnathji: mahant of a major math in Jaisalmer
Habib ur-Rehman: BJP MLA from Nagore
Hamir: author’s son
Hari Singh: former BJP MLA, who made a lot of money through road contracts, and then switched to the Congress
Harish Chowdhury: Congress candidate for Barmer Lok Sabha constituency, the author’s main rival in this election
Harshini: author’s daughter
Heera Ramji: veteran BJP leader of the Jat community in Barmer
Hema Ram: Congress MLA for Guda Mallani and revenue minister in the state government
Hindu Singh: disgruntled BJP leader in Chohtan
Hukum Singh: author’s driver
Jograj Singh: Congress supporter, kinsman of the author, in whose house he stayed during the campaign
Kailashji: BJP MP from Tonk
Kan Singh Marudi: supporter of author and from a village near Barmer town
Kheema Ram: bhopa (priest-cum-clairvoyant) of a Vankal Mata temple
Kishen: author’s housekeeper
Ladu Ram Bishnoi: veteran BJP leader of the Bishnoi community, close supporter of the author
Lakshman Singh: opposed the author in the 2009 Lok Sabha elections as an independent
Maga Ram Nain: influential former sarpanch from Loharwa and patron of the Shani temple there.
Mahender Tiger: former BSP member who then joined the Congress
Mama: author’s mother
Mangal Singh and Asu Singh: brothers belonging to the influential Rajpurohit priestly caste in Kaludi
Maulvi Abdul Karim: BJP veteran, the first in his community to join the BJP, and remained loyal to the party
Maulvi Saleh Mohammad: influential local religious leader, author’s supporter
Maulvi Taj Mohammed: influential religious leader, BJP office bearer and staunch supporter of the author
Mubarak Khan: former smuggler, influential in the border areas of Jaisalmer and Barmer and supporter of the author
Murad Ali Mehar: a close friend and supporter in the constituency, and a wealthy granite exporter, who had accompanied the author and his father on the pilgrimage to Hinglaj M
ata temple in Pakistan, in 2006.
Om Prakash: small-time retailer and a man about town
Ota Ramji: BJP MLA from Sirohi
Parbat Singhji: veteran BJP leader, former soldier and founder-president of the BJP in Barmer
Peepaji: local deity, regarded by the tailor community as their patron saint
Prakashji: BJP General Secretary in charge of Rajasthan
Ranvir Singh: author’s cousin
Ratan Singh: Block BJP president of Chohtan
Roop Singh: author’s supporter, in whose house he would stay when in Chohtan
Roshan Khalifa: Muslim leader and sarpanch whom the author had helped when he was in trouble, now a Congress supporter
Sang Singh: a former MLA, close friend and supporter of the author
Sawai Singh: usually Congress supporter, but chose to work for the author in this election
Shafi Khan Sama: close friend of author, BJP supporter
Swarup Singh: author’s election agent
Tej Singh: influential sarpanch, author’s supporter
Tulsa Ramji Bapji: a respected and influential holy man with a wide following
March 2009
* This was in accordance with Constitution (Eighty-Fourth) Amendment Act, 2001, so that states with higher population growth would not benefit unduly, and thereby skew Indian politics even further.
** My father had organized a riyan, which in local parlance is a gathering, the reasons for which can range from marriages to deaths, or simply to get people together. This was in Jasol, and television cameras were thought to have got footage of opium being served there. When investigated, the vessels had traces of saffron, which is a politically correct substitute, as well as what children are given in lieu of opium.
Glossary
aarti offering of prayers with lighted lamps et al.
agore the catchment area for a water body
ajrakh a textile patterned with special motifs, dyed in indigo, madder and other natural dyes
Akha Teej also known as Akshaya Tritiya, a festival held in spring, when child marriages commonly take place in Rajasthan
amavasya moonless night
anadi an incompetent person or a simpleton
ashthami the eighth day of the Indian calendar, especially auspicious during navaratras
Basya the southern part of the Jaisalmer district and Assembly seat
baraat a wedding procession
bawri stepwell
bhopa a person who serves a local deity as a priest-singer, and also imbibes some of the deity’s powers, e.g., to ward off illness or to find a thief or see into the future
boli an auction of parts or events connected with a temple, at which bids are made for funding such things as the crown of a deity’s statue or a lunch feast
BSF Border Security Force
chai-paani expenses miscellaneous expenses
Charan a community of bards
chhatri memorial cenotaph
chorasi a gathering from eighty-four villages
chowdhury an honorific title amongst the farming communities, now used frequently as a surname
daal varas fried lentil dumplings
Dadhi a poor and little-known community of singers
dalal middleman, intermediary who expects to be paid
dham a temple and/or seat of religious learning and practices
dhani a hamlet near a larger village settlement
dharma sabha a religious gathering to hear a discourse by a religious leader
dhund a function held to ward off evil from a newborn, it also doubles as a social gathering
dua to seek blessings for someone
DNP Desert National Park, in Rajasthan
gaffan burial coffin
Gairs an all-male dance troupe with one accompanying musician and some of the dancers dressed as women
galwani a sweet made of melted jaggery, flour and fragrant seasonings
Ganga bhoj meal served usually at a death after the return of relatives from Haridwar and the immersion of ashes
Gangaur a spring festival for marital bliss popular in Rajasthan, Gujarat and Madhya Pradesh. Celebrating the perfect union of Shiva and Parvati.
godi lap
gram sewak secretary of the village panchayat
gunda Cordia gharaf, a sticky gooey berry that is pickled and also eaten as a vegetable dish
Haji a person who has made the Haj pilgrimage to Mecca
Hinglaji a person who has made the pilgrimage to the main Hinglaj Mata temple in Baluchistan, Pakistan
jaal Salvadora persica, a desert bush that is sacred to the author’s clan and must never be cut
jajam a traditional carpet, considered auspicious when it is offered in a temple
janwai sahib son-in-law
jatha a group undertaking a religious pilgrimage
jyot a lamp lit for blessings or as thanksgiving, usually at a temple
jyotish the one who studies astrological charts and predicts the future
kabar grave
kaffiyeh black-and-white chequered Palestinian scarf, now a symbol of their national identity
kair a desert bush that bears an edible berry
kairi-gunda a seasonal vegetable dish, great for the heat
Kalbi an agrarian community that also lives in Gujarat and Karnataka. Many have now turned to business.
kamal lotus, the election symbol for the BJP
karyakarta political party worker
khalifa representative of the head of a Sufi Muslim order
khejdi a desert tree that bears an edible bean
khurch a useful system employed by many communities, whereby on the last day of mourning and with all the expected guests present, marriages are celebrated for as many couples as possible
Koli the poorest Scheduled Caste community, who straddle the Rajasthan, Gujarat and Sindh borders
kotdi the village chief’s house
kul devi the presiding goddess of a clan
Kumbhar potter caste
lapi a sweet made of wheat, jaggery and ghee, served on birthdays and auspicious occasions
maanavta concern for human values
manao to cajole or placate
Mangaliya among the largest and most influential Muslim communities in the author’s constituency
Manganiyar a Rajasthani community of folk and classical musicians, whose beliefs and customs straddle both Hinduism and Islam
mate a foreman who functions as the head of a labour gang at a project site
math shrine
matka vessel for storing water or milk
Meghwal a large Scheduled Caste community in Rajasthan as well as Gujarat and Pakistan whose traditional occupations range from weaving to leather work
MKSS Mazdoor Kisan Shakti Sangathan, an organization headed by activist Aruna Roy that spearheaded the Right to Information Act
moli a sacred thread tied around the wrist
MPLADS MP Local Area Development Scheme, which allots a member of Parliament a sum of money for local development projects
muthadeesh head of a shrine
naadi a water body that is often man-made for rainwater storage
Nagnechi Mata the presiding goddess of the author’s family, who is depicted as half-woman, half-serpent
nasha intoxication
nasha-pata colloquial Rajasthani for any intoxicant from liquor and tobacco to paan leaves
Navaratra nine nights of prayer and/or fasting before a major religious festival
nyat gathering of a community, usually on the occasion of a death
NREGS National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme, that guarantees 100 days paid work in a year to every poor family
oran an inviolable area of land reserved in the name of a deity or goddess, on which not even the branch of a tiny shrub can be broken. It can cover hundreds of acres.
paar a traditional borewell in which water is collected through subsoil seepage
pai-lagu
a traditional form of showing respect by touching the feet
padyatra foot march
pallu the end of a sari
panch senior of a community
panchayat samiti Block Development Board
parikrama circumambulation at a sacred place
pattu a coarsely woven handloom shawl
Pir hereditary head of a Sufi Muslim order
PMGSY Pradhan Mantri Gram Sadak Yojana, a Central government scheme under which roads are built in villages
prabhatiya early morning ritual of singing at a temple or shrine
pradhan head of the Block Development Board, an elected post
Prajapat a community who were once mainly potters and rug makers who have now diversified into farming and business
raashi zodiac association based on the Indian calendar
Rabari a nomadic community of shepherds from western Rajasthan, who also migrate with their animals to Haryana and Madhya Pradesh
rawla a fortress or mansion that is the seat of a feudal chief
razai quilt
riyan a gathering, the reasons for which can range from marriages and deaths to just getting people together
saada paan betel-leaf mouth freshener with the minimum of ingredients
safa turban
safaiwalas cleaning staff
samaj community
samaj dhund a gathering of a particular community
sangh pramukh head of Kshatriya Yuvak Sangh, a Rajput organization
sangri the bean of the khejdi tree
sanskar a word from Sanskrit which covers everything—manners, etiquette, morals and norms
Sansi among the poorest communities in Rajasthan and Gujarat, who have their own language
Campaign Diary Page 20