He was not a one-night sort of guy. And that scared the shit out of me.
“I can’t,” I said, twisting away, putting a few feet of distance between us. “I can’t do this; I can’t pretend that I don’t know what you want.”
“What do I want?”
I couldn’t even look at him because I was afraid if I did, he would know what I was thinking.
“I’m not the kind of girl you need in your life. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Things I’d be ashamed to tell you about.”
“But that’s the past, Knox. It doesn’t matter now.”
I shook my head. “Sometimes the past has a nasty way of coming back to haunt you.”
“Like my dead wife? Or my mother-in-law trying to take my kids from me?” There was wry amusement in his voice. “I don’t care about your past.”
“You should.” I glanced at him, hating the affection I saw in his eyes because I so desperately wanted to feel worthy of it. But I didn’t. “You don’t understand. That night—the Fourth of July? That wasn’t the first time I picked a guy up in a bar.”
“Okay.”
“It wasn’t my first one-night stand.”
“Okay.”
I shook my head, tears burning in my throat, making my voice a little deeper than it normally was. “I’ve been with a lot of men. I’ve even been with one of the guys I work with.”
“David?”
I groaned. “No, not David.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Okay,” he said again, his voice filled with a little more resignation than before. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I want you. That I want to give this a try.”
“I’ve never been with one guy more than one night.”
The silence was longer this time. When he finally spoke, he didn’t say what I’d expected.
“Why me? Why didn’t you turn me away last night?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, but he didn’t wait for an answer. He came up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulder, tugging me back against his chest.
“I want you,” he repeated. “And I think you want me. So I say we take this forward and see where it goes.”
I started to shake my head, but he pressed his fingers into my head, pulling me tighter against this shoulder. I closed my eyes, needing his touch more than I wanted to admit to myself. But then I heard a little sound from somewhere in the bowels of the house. It was probably just the air conditioning coming on or something, but it was enough to remind me there were two little girls in this house.
I was about Stevie’s age—maybe a year or two older—when my momma started dating again after she and my daddy divorced. I remembered sneaking down the stairs and watching as she and some guy made out on the couch, expecting each one to become my new stepdaddy. And I hated each one, hated them with a passion, convinced no one could be as great as my daddy had been. I didn’t want to put anyone else’s child through that.
“Not here,” I said, twisting away from him again.
“Upstairs?”
I shook my head. “Not around your girls. I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.”
His eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say anything and I didn’t elaborate. I bit my lip again, watching that simple movement ignite a fire in his eyes. Then I turned and walked away.
What the hell was I doing?
Chapter 10
Dunlap
She just walked away. I watched her go, wanting so desperately to go after her and force her up the stairs. But what would that have gotten me. Knox needed to do this on her terms, so I stayed where I was. And prayed she’d call me sometime.
I couldn’t sleep. I sat in bed and did paperwork because my thoughts were too restless to allow sleep and my body was too worked up to settle anywhere else. My thoughts kept jumping to that broken glass on the porch. I hadn’t touched it. I left it there, thinking I might have my lawyer come collect it in case it proved to be important sometime down the road. But then I told myself that if it had been there that night, the police would have found it. Wouldn’t they have?
But, again, the police decided it was an accident almost before the coroner arrived to pick up the body. Would they have investigated all that hard if they’d already decided it wasn’t necessary?
Was there someone else here? Was Colby murdered? And if she was, by who?
The new nanny—Tori—arrived early the next morning. I gave her the tour of the house before waking the girls.
“Where’s Knox?” Stevie demanded while she was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
“She had to go home, baby.”
“I want Knox!” She glared at me, deep emotion shining in her eyes. “I want Knox to get my breakfast!”
“I’m sorry, Stevie,” I whispered, as I pulled Mattie from her crib and carried her downstairs.
Tori called me four times during the day, telling me about the tantrums Stevie was throwing. I finally had to send Janis over to help Tori out. Stevie loved Janis. And I needed to get my work done.
I was exhausted at the end of the day. The girls were in bed when I arrived home, a frazzled Tori cleaning up the kitchen, and Janis on the phone in the living room.
“Everything’s fine,” Janis assured me, patting me on the arm. “But Stevie sure is angry with you for sending that Knox away.”
“I didn’t send her away. But…yeah, I know.”
“I’ve never seen her connect with someone quite like that.”
There was curiosity in Janis’ eyes. She wanted to know what had happened, but I wasn’t much in the mood to talk about it. She got the message and said her goodnights.
“I’m sorry,” Tori said when I went into the kitchen, searching through the fridge for something to eat. “I’m usually so much better with children.”
“She’s had a lot of loss in her short life. She’s just struggling, but she’ll get beyond it.”
“I hope so. Today was rough.”
“Are you settled in?”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
I nodded, giving up on the search for food. I really wasn’t all that hungry. I grabbed a soda and headed for the stairs. Just as my foot hit the first riser, my phone rang. My heart jumped and the exhaustion just slipped from my shoulders as I saw Knox’s name on the display.
“Come over,” she said in her soft, husky voice.
“Where?”
But she’d hung up. Seconds later, a text message arrived with an address and instructions. I couldn’t help the smile that burst across my face.
God, I needed this!
“Tori, I have to go back to the office. The girls should be out for the night, but if not—”
“I’ve got it.”
“Thanks.”
The directions Knox gave me took me to an exclusive neighborhood just outside the city. There was a massive house that, as an architect, I had to pause and admire. All stone and marble and brass, it was a masterpiece of modern architecture. I studied its lines for a long moment before following the drive around the back as Knox had instructed, pulling up to one of the several small cottages that broke the line of the massive property.
She opened the door as I shut the car off, silhouetted in the doorway by dim light coming from inside the cottage. She was wearing a thin bathrobe that was falling open as I approached her, revealing a pair of black, lacy boy shorts and a matching low-cut, push-up bra.
Fucking sexy!
I lifted her up as I reached the door, holding her ass as we fell inside, the door slamming automatically behind us. I didn’t have much chance to look around, but I had the vague impression of a large living room that flowed into an impressive kitchen. But my only interest was the bedroom straight back from the front door, a large queen-sized bed visible in the muted light from a bedside lamp.
I carried her toward the bed as she nibbled at my neck, my fingers searching for the depth of her. We fell through the door of the bedroom, and I dropped her on the bed, slapping her
hip as I pulled back, tearing at my clothes, trying to get them off as quickly as I could. I had never been happier that I didn’t wear a suit to work every day. A t-shirt was infinitely easier to peel off than a jacket and tie!
Knox sat up, grabbing me by my belt, tugging at me as she quickly undid the buckle. She had my pants open faster than a kid might tear open a package of cookies, her hands a little on the cold side as she reached inside and grasped my cock. She held it for a moment, looking up at me as she licked her lips. I wanted to scream—the anticipation was suddenly that overwhelming. I needed to be inside of her; I needed to feel the heat of her gorgeous mouth around my cock. But she was teasing me, chewing on that bottom lip as she studied my cock, her hands moving too slowly to be called a stroke along the length of my shaft. And then her tongue—oh, my lord!—snuck out and touched me on the very tip of my head.
Now I was biting my lip.
That tongue ran slowly around the bulb, touching me in places I hadn’t realized existed. She played with me much the way I played with her clit, her tongue doing what my fingers ached to do. I watched, unable to pull my eyes away from this beautiful sight. And then she opened her mouth and my eyes slid closed, the pleasure that marched through me too powerful to watch. Her lips were like silk, her tongue like velvet. I ran my hand over her head, encouraging her to take as much of me as she could. And she…fuck! I was going to come before she’d even taken me longer than a few, simple strokes.
My hand slipped from her head to her back, seeking out the clasps that held her bra in place. I managed to undo it with one hand, using the other to urge the cups from her beautiful breasts. She had full breasts, the kind that are more than a handful. And her nipples were long and thick, beautiful nipples that stood tall whenever I touched them. I loved the way they felt in my hands; I loved the way they rolled against my palms. I held them as she took my cock deeper and deeper into her mouth, a low hum beginning deep in her throat that sent an amazing wave of pleasure through me.
I was going to lose it. I couldn’t do this much longer. I pushed her down, barely missing a disaster with her teeth against the underside of my cock. She laughed, throwing an arm over her face to hide her amazing eyes. I leaned down and pulled her arm way, pinning her against the mattress. We kissed for a long moment, our tongues dancing together. Then I straightened, pulled her boy shorts free of her hips, and lifted her ankles over my shoulders. She laughed again, but then I thrust inside of her and her laughter changed into sighs of pure pleasure.
“Aww, yeah,” she sighed. “So good!”
She reached around and grabbed my sides, tugging me closer to her. I thrust roughly, watching the pleasure dance in her eyes. And then she reached up to press her lips against my throat, and I was lost. I couldn’t have controlled my movements if God himself appeared and told me to. I needed her. I needed this.
I exploded deep inside of her, crying out as my balls emptied themselves. But I kept moving, a little slower now, taking her on that ride, taking her down the same road. She came a moment later, locking her ankles around the back of my head as she held me hard against her. I collapsed against her, cradling her body to mine. After a few minutes, she relaxed, molding herself to me.
We rolled onto our sides, moving into a more comfortable position. She ran her hand slowly over my chest, playing with the thin hair on my chest. Then her fingers began to play with the short hairs on my chin.
“I don’t usually like guys with beards.”
“Yeah? But you like this?”
She ran her finger slowly along the curve of my jaw. “I wonder what you look like underneath. But it’s not that bad.”
I slid my mouth against her throat. She giggled, a sound that turned into a sigh. She ran her hands over the back of my head, drawing me closer to her.
“Do you like that?”
“Definitely.”
I groaned, pulling back. “Then you like the beard.”
She nodded. “It’s not bad.”
I smiled. I ran my hand over her hip, tugging her against my lower belly, my cock still hard, still anxious for a little touch. She suddenly pushed me onto my back and straddled me, resting her head on my shoulder. I ran my hands over her back, her ass, sliding my fingers between her thighs. She sighed, her hand brushing over my face.
“I should let you go,” she said after a little while. “You need to be home with the girls.”
“We have a couple of hours.”
“Don’t you want to get some sleep?”
I was exhausted. But I didn’t want to leave her. Not yet.
“Can I ask you something?”
She sighed again, her breath warm against my flesh. “I guess.”
“You told me you were from Arkansas.”
She nodded.
“Where in Arkansas?”
“Little Rock. That’s where everyone in Arkansas is from.”
I kissed the top of her head. “And you said your parents were divorced.”
“Did you memorize everything I told you?”
“No. But you are quite memorable, darlin’. Especially when you’re sitting cross-legged on the narrow table in a motel room, completely naked.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I suppose that would be memorable.”
“Tell me more. Do you have any siblings? Do you have any dark secrets?”
She pressed her lips to my chest, pulling back a little so that she could look in my eyes. “You really don’t want to know about me.”
“I’ll tell you all about me. I grew up in a little town in Illinois called Virden that was about forty minutes from Springfield. My dad owned a small farm where we grew corn and soybeans. I had three sisters and one brother. One of my sisters has Down syndrome, but my parents treated her just like the rest of us. She helps them run the farm now. And I—”
“Okay, okay, more than I want to know.” She touched my lips with one finger. “Why do we have to exchange biographies? Can’t we just have sex and enjoy that?”
“Sure. But if this is going anywhere, we should probably know a few details about each other.”
“Who said this was going anywhere?”
“It’s going to next week, right? And maybe the week after that? I know I’d like to see more of you.”
I could see the wheels turning in her head. I knew I was pushing her out of her comfort zone, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to know her.
She laid her head on my shoulder again, her fingers playing over my arm like she was playing some sort of musical instrument. She was quiet for a very long time, but began to speak just as I was beginning to think she’d decided not to.
“I have a sister. Her name is Sherilynn and she’s younger. Three years. I practically raised her because Daddy took off and Momma was busy trying to find a new man to keep her in the style she’d grown accustomed to. Working a minimum wage job was just not what Momma envisioned herself doing for the rest of her life. She eventually found a man—Ed—when I was thirteen and Sherilynn was ten. As far as I know, they’re still married.”
“As far as you know?”
“I haven’t seen my family in five years. Not since I joined the CIA.”
“The CIA?”
“I joined the Marines out of high school, and I was recruited by the CIA a couple of years later.”
“You fought with the Marines?”
“Afghanistan. Just one tour, but I went back twice with the CIA.”
“Impressive.”
She shook her head. “Not really. A lot of people did more than I did.”
I slid my hand over her ass again, finding her more impressive with every word that slipped out of her mouth.
“Why haven’t you seen your family? Did you have a falling out with your mother?”
“My sister.”
Tension began to strum in her body. I squeezed her ass, tugging her tighter against me.
“What about?”
She sighed. “You really don’t need to know everything about m
e. We could leave a little mystery for next time you feel like talking.”
“What if we don’t feel like talking again?”
“All’s the better.”
She pushed herself up into a sitting position, her hand wrapping itself around my cock, bringing it fully back to life. She raised up a little, pulling it back against her pretty, little cunt. I groaned as her body opened up to me, allowing me to slide freely inside of her.
She sat still for a moment, holding me inside of her, her cunt muscles tightening and loosening rhythmically against me. And then she began to rock, moving her body against me, grinding her clit against my pelvis. I rested my head on my hands, watching her pleasure herself on me. Her breasts bounced, and her hair fell back over her shoulders as she leaned her face toward the ceiling. She was quiet for a long while, an expression of absolute peace on her face. But then these little sighs began to escape her lips, color bursting over her pale cheeks.
I grabbed her hips, pulling her forward just a touch. She groaned, her eyes opening, pure ecstasy written all over them. I had to join in then, had to give her everything that ached inside of me. I lifted her, turning her onto her back, thrusting hard against her. She cried out, her fingers digging into my back. She came so quickly…it was a beautiful sight. And then she began to build back up, coming again as I finally hit my peak.
We didn’t talk after that. But she didn’t kick me out either. We fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms. She was still asleep when the alarm on my phone—set before I got out of the car—woke me. I reluctantly untangled myself from her, dressing in silence. I found a half-chewed pencil and a piece of scrap paper in her living room to leave her note on. And then I stood in the doorway for a long time, wondering what her secret was and if she was ever going to tell it to me. I had to believe she would. Eventually. Just like I had to believe that there would be an eventually between us.
TAMING KNOX (Gray Wolf Security, Texas Book 3) Page 8