“Wishing you’d let me siphon a little more?” I asked with a smirk, and she rolled her eyes. We sat in silence for a few moments. “It’s going to be a bit of a shake up when it all comes out. This guy’s gonna have a field day,” I said, gesturing toward my laptop, where the streamer was talking about the dangers of masked heroes again.
“Well. We knew that, too. We’ll get through it. And we still have a little time. The international tribunal moves about as quickly as ents.”
“You are such a nerd,” I said. “I bet you even speak elvish.”
She stood up, muttering “Auta miqula orqu.”
“I knew it! What did you say?”
She just rolled her eyes and let herself out, chuckling softly as she left.
Chapter Ten
I took the bus to Grosse Pointe again. One thing I was already liking about Mama’s house was that checking on it gave me a good excuse to get out of Command once in a while. And the bus rides gave me time to think.
I was sitting on the bus, looking out the window and letting my mind wander, when my phone rang, and my stomach flipped a little when I realized which ring it was.
I looked at the phone, then answered it. “Yes?” I asked.
“Hey,” Connor said. I hated how just that one syllable made me respond, how it made my chest hurt and my stomach twist. After a couple of moments, he spoke again. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” I said.
“Yeah. I saw that shit on the news. Portia did a good job addressing it.”
“It wasn’t just that.”
I heard him take a breath. “I know. I’m sorry, sweetheart. The shit I said… I don’t even know why I said it. I didn’t mean any of it. I’m crazy about you and I alway have been. You have to know that. I said that shit because I was upset, and I never should have said it.”
I swallowed, caught between emotions. I wanted so badly to believe him. But my heart told me otherwise. There’d been no deceit in the angry words he’d thrown at me, in the way he’d insulted and belittled me. I watched it happen too many times with Mama and my dad. He’d be an asshole, and the next day, it would be all sweetness and compliments, and then things would go back to normal until he snapped again. I remember Mama telling me once, when I was a teenager, to turn and run the second a man tried to treat me like shit, because he’d do it again.
“No. I think you meant every word you said.”
“Jolene, I want you, sweetheart. I miss you. You have to know that.”
“I think it’s better if you don’t call me anymore. I said it last time, and I did actually mean it.”
“You didn’t. You were pissed, and you had every reason to be. Just… let’s go out to dinner tonight and try to talk about this, huh? We can work this out. We’re worth fighting for.”
I bit my lip. I’d already made mistakes with him. I wasn’t going to make any more.
“We’re done, Connor. I really don’t want to hear from you again.”
He was quiet for a few beats, then he sighed. “Fine. Suit yourself.” And then he hung up, and I sat there wishing it could have been different. That we would have been okay and he’d never lied to me. That he was all of the things I’d thought he was. But he wasn’t, and I couldn’t try to fool myself into thinking he was.
I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and went back to staring out the window. By the time the bus pulled up to my stop, I felt a little lighter, a little better than I had. I felt stronger. I’d get through this, and I would be okay.
I walked up to the house, noting that the living room and kitchen lights were on. Justin’s truck was pulled up into the driveway. As I mounted the front steps, I saw Justin cross in front of the windows. When I opened the front door, he peered around the wall between the living room and dining room.
“Hey,” he said, stopping. “I was wondering if I’d see you today.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You stop in every three days. I was hoping this would be another lucky day,” he said with a smile, and I shook my head.
“Smooth, Justin,” I said, and he laughed.
“I meant it, too,” he said, and I met his dark eyes for a moment before looking away. “I finished painting the upstairs, so that floor is completely done now if you want to take a look at it,” he said after a moment.
“You move fast,” I said, heading toward the stairs.
“Not as fast as I’d like, sometimes,” he answered, and I had the feeling that maybe he wasn’t just talking about the house. I felt a blush heat my cheeks as I walked up the stairs in front of him.
The first thing I noticed was the the dark wood floors absolutely gleamed. The hallway was painted a clean cream color with white trim. I peeked into the bathroom to find a soft pink, which my mother would love. The front bedroom and second bedroom were a soft, buttery yellow, and the other small bedroom on the floor was a soothing sage green.
“This looks so good,” I said quietly. “I figure, with those built-ins, she can have a little library in here. It’s a cozy room.”
He nodded. “It would be perfect for that.”
“You’ve done an amazing job already.”
He didn’t answer, and I glanced up to see him looking down at me. I felt a pang of regret again. Once upon a time, I would have been brave enough to take a chance on the mouth-watering carpenter with the deep, warm voice. His eyes alone were enough to make me want to take a leap of faith, but I just didn’t have it in me. I looked away, digging a check out of my pocket.
“Here. For the work you’ve done already. I wanted to keep up with the invoicing,” I explained.
“Thanks. This will make billing easier once it’s finished.”
I nodded.
We walked back downstairs and the doorbell rang. Justin went to the front door and said a few words to whoever was on the porch. When he came back to the living room, he was holding a large pizza box.
“Well. I’m planning to stay late and finish up that mess of plumbing in that first floor powder room. Do you feel like eating with me?”
“I shouldn’t.”
“You’d be saving me. I definitely shouldn’t eat the whole thing,” he cajoled.
“I think you’d be fine, somehow.”
“Pizza’s dangerous. Seriously, it’ll go straight to my ass and then I’ll have self esteem issues…”
I laughed. “Right. Because you so obviously have that problem.”
“Come on. Help me, Jolene,” he said with a smile. He opened the pizza box, wiggled it a little, trying to entice me to take a piece.
“Fine,” I said with a sigh. I grabbed a slice and he grinned. He sat down on the living room floor and set the pizza box down, and I sat beside him. We ate in silence for a few minutes.
“Security guard, huh?” he asked.
“It’s a temporary thing. I want to do community outreach stuff eventually,” I said, remembering the things I’d wanted when I’d started college. The ideas I’d had about what I’d do if I ever had enough power and money. I shrugged. “For now, it pays the bills, you know?”
“Based on how much you probably paid for this house, plus what you’re paying me, it more than pays the bills.”
“I’ve been socking money away. I don’t really spend much otherwise. I knew I wanted to do this eventually.”
Justin nodded. “You should find a house like this for yourself.”
“I don’t know if I’m the house type. I’m not home much.”
“You’d be surprised. I thought the same thing, and then I bought my first house, fixed it up. The plan was to flip it, sell it at a profit, but I couldn’t do it. It’s nice feeling like there’s a place that’s just yours, you know?”
I nodded. “That’s what I want for Mama. Maybe someday, I’ll want it for myself.” I took another bite of pizza. “So where’s your house?”
“Indian Village.”
“Expensive area,” I commented.
“My house was
the blight in the neighborhood. I got it for a steal because it was about to be torn down. It took me almost a year to get it livable.”
“You must be persistent,” I said.
“You have no idea.”
I glanced up to see him watching me again.
“And a complete professional,” I reminded him.
He looked away. “Right.”
I shifted a little. This was stupid. I shouldn’t be sitting here. This guy and I had nothing in common, even if you didn’t count the whole super powered thing. And the fact that I wasn’t looking for anything like what I had a feeling would happen between us if I just let go a little bit.
“It’s not you, you know,” I blurted. His dark eyes met mine, and I went on before I lost my nerve. “I just ended what I thought was maybe something… something more than it actually was. I don’t trust my judgment right now and I don’t know when I will. Just… it’s not you,” I repeated.
He sat there for a moment, silently studying me. “Okay,” he finally said. “Thanks for telling me that. I know what that’s like. Went through it a few years ago, and I’m just glad I figured it out before it was too late. Before there was a wedding or kids or anything like that.”
“Right. But I don’t think this is exactly the same.”
“Maybe not,” he said with a shrug. “All I know is that when it was over, I felt like an idiot. Like I’d been the butt of her private joke the entire time we’d been together. And I figured I had lousy taste in women.”
“Maybe you still do,” I said, dropping my pizza crust back into the box. I stood up, and so did he.
“Kinda doubt it.” He finally looked away from me. “You know, it doesn’t have to be the type of thing that leads to us getting married. We can just have fun.”
“So all you want is a booty call type of thing?” I asked.
He met my eye again. “No. If I wanted that, I would have said so. I meant, we can hang out. Go places. Yeah, maybe see if I can make you moan, because I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I would be up for the challenge.”
“No pun intended, huh?” I asked with a smirk, even though I could feel my face burning.
“Pun very much intended, actually,” he said in a low voice. I looked away.
“Well. Like I said, I’m not looking for anything at all like that right now. My life is too crazy and I’m pretty sure it would just end badly. And who knows? Maybe I’d want to hire you again but if we hated one another, that would be awkward, so…. yeah,” I said with a shrug.
“Very practical,” he said, and I caught a glint of humor in his dark eyes.
“And I can promise you that that is something no one has ever accused me of being before,” I said. I stood up, and so did he.
I looked down at his hands, which were strong, calloused, and large. I fought back a little shiver. “Um. I should probably go.”
“Worried you might do something stupid?” he asked.
I started stepping away. “Maybe.”
“Jolene.”
“Yeah?”
“I just thought I should tell you that you have a gorgeous ass. It was a pleasure following you up the stairs.”
“I— ”
“And I enjoy seeing you blush like that.”
“This is very unprofessional,” I said backing away another step.
He stepped forward. “Then fire me.”
And the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, his hand buried into my hair, holding my head at the angle he wanted me. This wasn’t a timid kiss. It was hot, hungry, and I had the sense that he was holding back, that what he really wanted to do was kiss me senseless. He gave my hair a light pull, moving my head to the side a little, and I heard a tiny moan escape my throat.
I kissed him back. Damn it, I am a stupid bitch, but I kissed him back and I liked it. When Connor had kissed me, it had been fleeting, the barest meeting of lips, like he was doing the bare minimum that one could call “kissing.” But this… this was something else, the way Justin’s lips crushed mine, the way his tongue invaded my mouth and his teeth nipped and pulled at my lower lip. I pressed my hands to his chest, initially to push him away, and instead I found myself clinging to him, gathering big handfuls of his t-shirt in my fists.
I wanted to feel bad about this, to have the sense to push him away. Whether it was my battered ego or just being pissed at Connor, I wanted this for myself, in the moment. I wanted to feel good, and kissing Justin… it felt beyond good, and I kissed him in a way I don’t think I’d ever kissed anyone before.
When he finally drew back, it felt like my entire body was about to combust. I have never, ever been kissed the way he kissed me, as if he was in total control, confident, taking what he wanted from me while making damn sure that I got plenty in return. I stood still as a statue, my lips swollen from his attention, my heart racing, my hands trembling, and I stared at him.
He looked perfectly calm and collected, as if the entire earth hadn’t just shifted beneath our feet.
“Still think we shouldn’t give this a shot?” he asked in a rough voice.
“Do you plan on trying to convince me some more?” I asked, and he let out a low laugh that sent shivers up my spine.
“Don’t tempt me,” he said mildly. I didn’t answer and after a moment, he took a breath. “Just, let’s be clear that I’m not him, whoever was before me that has you convinced you’re not going to manage a good relationship.”
“Yeah, I kinda got that. And I’m still not ready for this.”
He nodded and took a step away. “Okay. Did you want me to apologize for kissing you?”
I shook my head.
“Good. Because it would be a lie. I should get back to work.”
“Okay. Thanks for the pizza.”
“Thanks for the kiss,” he said, meeting my eyes again. Then he turned and headed toward the back of the house. “Talk to you later.”
I went out the front door and down the front walk, then turned and looked at the house from the sidewalk. After a moment, I did what I was pretty sure I’d always do, what I’d always been doing in one way or another: I walked away. I know what my limits are. What I can handle at any given time. And the man in that house wasn’t something I could handle now. I had a mother to move. A super powered injection creator to find. An ex who was an even bigger jerk than I am, and a billionaire held captive in StrikeForce’s basement. My best friend had caught me stealing money, my partner was just getting over being majorly pissed with me, and some dickhead blogger was way too observant for anybody’s good.
I kind of had a full plate.
Still, it had been nice to be reminded that Connor wasn’t the end for me. He would just be a constant reminder to watch myself, to look before I leap. And to not get involved with lying assholes.
Chapter Eleven
I got back to Command and made my way up to my room, glad that I managed not to bump into anyone. For the moment, I just wanted to be alone.
Once I was back in my room, I stripped and stepped into the shower. The cool water didn’t do much to soothe the way my body was still overreacting to that damn kiss. As I washed and shampooed, I kept forcing my mind away from Justin’s hands, to imagining what it would have been like to have his hands on my body.
“So stupid,” I muttered to myself with a grin as I rinsed off. I tore my mind away from him again, reminding myself that I promised Mama I’d call her tonight, because she’d had a dialysis appointment and I wanted to check on her. I always offered to go with her, and she always turned me down. She preferred to go alone. I guess I understood. She didn’t want me to see her when she felt weak or tired. Mama was always one to keep burdens to herself, even if I wished she’d let me help her more.
Well, she was getting a nice new house in a pretty neighborhood whether she wanted it or not. And one of these days, I’d even convince her to retire.
I smiled to myself as I dried off and slipped into my ratty old flannel pajama pants and a U of
D t-shirt. I called Mama, and she filled me in on her day. I settled into bed and chatted with her for a while. She filled me in on her day at work, about a couple of patients she’d dealt with, and I talked about a guy we’d brought into Command earlier that day who had x-ray vision. He’d been reported for being pervy at a local mall once women started realizing what he was up to. Mama laughed, and then tried to stop.
“I shouldn’t laugh at that, really. But what teenage boy didn’t dream of power like that?” she asked with a laugh.
“Hell. I can imagine that there are plenty of grown men and women who’d appreciate it,” I said, and she laughed again. “Oh, Mama — You’re off on the fifteenth, right?” I asked, remembering the date Justin expected to be finished with the house. I wanted to show it to her as soon as possible, and it was only a few days away now.
“I am, unless I get called in. Why?”
“I have a little surprise for you and it’s supposed to be ready then.”
“Surprise? What surprise?” she asked.
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it?” I teased.
“Jolene Marie Faraday,” she scolded, and I laughed. “A hint?”
“Nope.”
“Evil child,” she said with a laugh.
“But you love me.”
“More than anything.”
I smiled. “I should let you go. I just wanted to check in with you. I love you, Mama,” I said.
“Love you more, Ladybug. Good night,” she said, and I listened as the call disconnected. I nodded to myself as I set my phone down. She was going to freak out when she saw the house.
I snuggled down into bed, pulling my blanket up over my nose. I had just closed my eyes when my phone rang.
I groaned.
I did not feel like fighting any super-powered assholes. I wanted to go to sleep and not think.
I picked the phone up, glancing at the screen, which said “unknown.” I considered not answering. It was probably a telemarketer or some shit like that. Or a reporter finally managed to track down my personal phone number.
One More Day (StrikeForce Book 2) Page 14