“I don't know about the whole being nice thing,” I mumble.
Ian nudges me in the side with his elbow. “Right,” he ignores me to tell Lila, “just to make sure he's not the same kind of asshole that Jared guy was.”
“He doesn't seem like it,” she defends.
“But you don't know,” I insist. “Which is why we need to meet him.”
“You hit my ex-boyfriend in the face. Why would I let you anywhere around Brad?”
“Because Jared deserved it.”
“That's not an answer!” Lila snaps.
“Look,” I growl. “He was spouting off shit about you and calling you names. Like hell am I not going to hit someone who thinks it's okay to be a Grade-A douchebag because their tiny brain isn't getting enough oxygen to know how to be a decent human being.”
Lila stares at me for a long few minutes. “You hit Jared because he called me names?”
I scoff, “Of course I did.”
“It was a pretty good punch too,” Ian throws out there. “Definitely worth it I say.”
“Did you hit him too?” Lila asks.
“Nope,” Ian shakes his head. “I know better than to speak with my fists anymore. Though, I'll say this, it was justified.”
“Thanks, man,” I nod my head. We fist bump with Lila standing there gawking at us.
No one ever said men weren't Neanderthals when we needed to be.
“You both are crazy,” she sighs and goes for another piece of pizza. “But I don't even know if this is going to be a thing, so I'm not sure why you want to meet him.”
“To put the fear of God into him?” Ian shrugs.
“Or the fear of me.”
“You're ridiculous,” Lila snorts.
“Hey now, what about Ian?”
“I don't want to be dragged into your scolding,” Ian says with both hands raised in the air. “Let her yell at you.”
“But you agreed with me.”
Ian shoots me a look. “So what? Doesn't mean I need her being mad at me, too.”
“Chicken-shit,” I huff.
“What about you?” Lila flops down into her chair and raises her eyebrows at me.
I'm not following what she means. “What?”
“The girl from that night. What happened?” she emphasizes.
“She wanted me,” I shrug.
Ian starts laughing. “So she wanted you and that meant you had to turn her down?”
“She was obsessed with Killian the football player,” I flinch. “And that's a turn off.”
“Which is why you need someone who doesn't care about who you are on campus,” Ian nods. His eyes flicker back and forth between Lila and me obviously, but she's staring at the pizza instead of Ian.
“Exactly,” I agree hesitantly. The conversation with him and Alex at the gym still fresh from last night.
Ian looks far too smug for my liking about my grumbled agreement. “So Lila,” Ian grins cheekily, “don't you agree?”
She takes a large bite of her third slice of pizza. “Huh? About what?” There's pizza sauce stuck to the side of her mouth and I reach over without thinking first, swiping my thumb over half her bottom lip to the corner of her mouth until I get the sauce off.
Her gunmetal eyes widen a fraction but she looks like she's trying not to start hyperventilating. Which for some reason makes me feel smug. I'm causing a reaction in her. Not that Bradley dipshit. Me.
And then I jerk away from her.
What the hell am I doing?
I've clearly lost my mind. Fucking Ian and Alex and their you’re jealous bullshit from last night. It's making me crazy. They're driving me crazy.
Hell.
“You had, uh,” I can't even finish whatever I was trying to say. I point at the corner of my own mouth, in the same spot she had sauce at.
“Right,” Lila clears her throat and shifts side to side.
Ian's looking up at the ceiling, a slight smirk on his face. I'm going to officially fire him as one of my closest friends.
“So, yeah,” I cough awkwardly.
“Yeah,” Lila echoes.
“When do we get to meet Brad then?” Ian asks. “Officially, at least.”
Lila draws her eyebrows together. “We're back to this again? I don't think I really need anyone's permission to go out to dinner with some guy. Or anyone's approval, either.”
That last bit was to me, no question about it.
“But what if we meet him and we still don't like him?” Ian frowns. “Don't we get any input.”
“How about we clear this up right now. Killian,” Lila says to me, “do you approve of Brad?”
I answer bluntly, “No.”
“See?” Lila waves her hand at me while staring at Ian. “This is what I'm talking about!”
“Okay, to be fair, us guys have a pretty good sense of how our fellow dudes can really be. Just like I'm sure you can tell if a girl’s a bitch or not,” Ian says.
Lila bites her lower lip and looks at both of us. “Really?”
“Hell yeah,” I nod my head in agreement. “Plus, when have I ever been wrong about a guy you've been interested in?”
Lila pauses to mull that one over and I feel smug about the fact she actually has to think about it. Probably because she can't think of a single time I was wrong. “Do you ever think that if you stopped scaring the guys away that a nice one might come through?”
Dammit. I wasn't expecting that as a response at all.
“I can live my own life, you know,” Lila keeps rolling with the punches. “I don't want to be the Killian Blane’s background girl. I don't want people to just keep assuming that I'm following you around because I like you. People always ask me if we were ever a thing, or if we've ever been together. And it's tiring having to defend our friendship all of the time.”
“Funny, I've never had a problem defending our friendship before,” I scowl and cross my arms over my chest.
“But you shouldn't have to,” Lila emphasizes. “And neither should I.”
“That's fucking great,” I snap, wondering why she's trying to sabotage our friendship. Because it's exactly what this sounds like. “I need some air.”
“Killian,” Lila says to stop me, but I'm too mad to stand here and keep this conversation going. At least I know how to walk away before it becomes any more damaging.
I hear Ian’s voice but can't make out what he's saying as I walk faster down the hallway towards the staircase to get out of this building.
This building that's a perfect fit for Bradley. Perfect for him and Lila to cozy up and get to know one another without my presence or name being thrown around.
“Killian,” Ian comes up on my left as we ascend the stairs. “That was...intense.”
“Sure,” I huff.
We hit the hot air outside and instead of fresh air helping to calm me down, it's sticky and hot and makes me want to punch something even more.
“I can't believe she said that. Like our friendship is really that big of a problem.” I jerk to a halt on the sidewalk and raise my voice in anger. “Do you know how many times she ate lunch with me in public last year? Probably five. Five times she was in public with me and not once did anyone bat an eyelash.”
“Because most of our friends know,” he points out. “So why would they question it?”
I make a growling noise in the back of my throat. “She can't be serious about wanting a break from our friendship.”
“Well, I didn't exactly hear her say that.”
“That's basically what she was implying.”
“Just give her time. I'm sure your overbearing ass is just taking a toll after the week she's had,” Ian shrugs. “Everything will be fine.”
Fine, he says like I'm supposed to believe that word.
Fine was what someone said when they weren't actually fine at all. And I was as far from fine right now as I could possibly be. I hate the word fine.
“Right,” I jerk my head in a quick nod.
“You don't believe me for a second,” Ian sighs.
“Nope.”
“You two have fought before, you'll be alright.”
Sure, we'll be fine eventually. And yeah, we've fought before. But she's never attacked our friendship before. Never made me unsure of if she wanted to be in my life.
And that's the final punch in the face.
What if she doesn't want to be a part of my life anymore?
Ian and I walk in silence to the gym. I need to run. I need an escape.
Chapter Seven
Lila
Killian hasn't talked to me in almost two days.
I know that shouldn't come across as a surprise considering we had a fight, and it's the weekend when we tend to avoid one another. But the nagging feeling deep in my gut tells me he's avoiding me for a whole different reason.
Nina gave me a sympathetic look right before Brad came to pick me up for dinner tonight. I'd spent Friday night and all of Saturday in my lazy clothes refusing to go out in public. Or across the hall of the apartment complex to see Killian.
And then Brad texted me this morning to see if I wanted to go out to dinner tonight. So I said yes.
He drove us to Hanson, that had a total of two fancy restaurants to pick from and a handful of chain fast-food places.
Brad made reservations at one of the two fancy places, Bella’s. It's Italian and always tastes delicious. The hostess sat us immediately and I've been staring off around the room ever since she left five minutes ago.
“...and I didn't know what was happening,” Brad chuckles, not the least bit aware I've been basically ignoring him for the past few minutes.
“Sounds funny,” I give him a tight smile.
Stupid Killian ruining my mood.
“Can I get you two something to drink and maybe a beginner salad?” a cheery voice asks.
I turn in time to lock eyes with one of the mean girls I went to high school with. Her eyes widen as well, and from the tight black dress she's wearing with overly done makeup, I’m reminded of the day she went around the girls locker room bragging about having kissed Killian and how I would forever be invisible to him.
“Andrea,” I offer her a stale smile. “Nice to see you again.” Not.
“Same to you,” her brittle voice says. “Here out with a friend?”
“This is my date tonight, Brad,” I gesture to him then back to our waitress, “this is Andrea.”
“Hello,” Brad nods to her.
“I didn't realize you were dating,” her lips pucker. “Still tagging along behind Killian?”
This is what I was referring to on Friday. How everyone seems to think I just follow Killian around in the shadows of his life. “If you're asking if we're friends still, then the answer is yes.”
“Is he seeing anyone?” Andrea grins evilly.
I glare at her. No way in hell am I letting her get involved with Killian. Since I'm not answering her question, she sighs dramatically in annoyance.
“What do you want to drink?” she asks.
Both Brad and I give her our drink orders and watch as she flounces away.
“So,” Brad clears his throat, “I take it you know her?”
“Unfortunately.”
“And she likes Killian?”
“I think almost every girl likes Killian.”
“But not you,” he points out.
No, I guess not me. Maybe once a very long time ago, but it didn't last long at all in middle school. Not with Killian’s rising popularity. And I'd been more than okay to be the one girl to not have her heart broken by him. “Nope.”
“It's just weird, you know?” Brad shrugs. “To not be attracted to him.”
“I guess.” Now I'm starting to regret this date. “Why are you so interested in the fact that I'm not interested in my best friend?”
Brad at least has the decency to look a bit ashamed as he pulls at the collar of his shirt. “My last girlfriend, we were together almost all of freshman year,” he sighs and clenches in hands into fists on top of the table. “When I guess she met Killian at a party I'd skipped out on to study for a test on Monday. The whole one thing led to another excuse got used and she cheated on me. Because she had the opportunity to be with Killian fucking Blane,” he finishes in disgust.
“I'm sorry,” I wince. “Killian doesn't usually sleep with girls that are in relationships.”
“So only sometimes?”
“I didn't mean it like that,” I sigh. “But he's not going to go stepping on someone else's toes regardless if he knows them or not. I'm sure if you told him that he slept with your girlfriend two years ago, he'd apologize to you.”
Brad looks like I've reached across the table and slapped him. “I don't want an apology from that guy.”
“Well,” I open my hands in gesture of Well, what do you want me to tell you then?
“It's just nice, for once,” Brad sighs. “To meet probably the one person who Killian only looks to as a sister and not anything more.”
It's not uncommon for me to hear, but it hurts all the same for some reason. Like I'm not pretty enough or good enough for my best friend. That people like Andrea and Brad’s ex-girlfriend don't see me as anything other than standing in Killian’s shadow.
“So thank you,” Brad reaches over and clasps his hand around my limp one on the table, “for not being on Killian’s radar.”
Yeah, whoop-dee-do to me, too.
I flop on the couch in our tiny living room. Nina is standing in her pajamas, holding a water bottle in one hand as she looks at me from the center of the kitchen to the right.
“What?” I let out a long sigh.
“I take it your date didn't go well?” she asks and gingerly sits down next to me.
“However could you tell?” I deadpan.
“You look miserable. Not as miserable as yesterday, but still definitely miserable.”
“I found out why Brad hates Killian.”
Nina’s dark eyes pop open wider for gossip. The wheels in her head are starting to spin. “He's jealous isn't he? Or he wants to be friends with Killian but he's not cool enough to fit in with the big boys.”
“None of the above.”
“Then what the hell is it?” Nina demands. “Don't keep me in the dark!”
“Killian slept with Brad’s girlfriend two years ago.” I pause and roll my head to look directly at Nina. “When they were still together.”
She purses her lips and squints her eyes. “Did Killian know? He might be a manwhore, but I don't think he's ever slept with someone's girlfriend. At least not knowingly.”
“I don't know,” I shrug my shoulders. “Probably not. Either way, Brad doesn't particularly care if Killian would be sorry about it.”
“That's totally on his girlfriend for being a bitch and sleeping with someone else, though,” Nina scoffs. “If he's going to hate Killian that much, I sure hope he hates her, too. Otherwise the double standard for that makes me want to punch him.”
“I don't know if he hates his ex or not.”
“Okay, so you're miserable because he doesn't like Killian?” Nina asks. “None of the guys you like tend to like Killian.”
“That's not why.”
“Then what is it? It's like you're purposely being obtuse just to infuriate me,” she growls.
“Were you aware of the fact that I'm basically too plain to get Killian’s attention?”
She stops shifting in her seat and stares at me with her mouth hanging open. “What?”
“Girls find me pathetic because I'm friends with him and I'm not even on his radar,” I grumble. “Because I'm seen as his sister.”
“Since when has that been a problem for you?”
“I don't want to be plain!” I groan and put my hands over my face.
“Sweetie,” Nina says in a calm voice. “I'm not sure what's happening right now. Are you upset that Killian and you got into a fight or are you upset that he doesn't see you as anything
but a sister?”
“I don't know. Both?” I peek out between my fingers to look at her. “I've known him since elementary school. He's never made a pass at me. And he makes a pass at anything with a pulse and a hoo-ha.”
“So,” she continues talking slowly to me, “you want him to notice you?”
“I want to not be defined as Killian's little sister anymore.”
“Is this similar to the fight you had with him? Because you never actually explained what happened.”
I bite my lip at drop my hands into my lap. “I don't know. I got really stressed about having a real date and not living up to expectations. And then I started thinking about how I keep all my friends at arm's length so no one can use me to get to Killian. And how it's unfair in my life. I've always been the girl in the background that guys either date because they hate him or love him and want to get close to, but all they do is talk about hating him or loving him. It's never, ever been about me.”
“Okay, I'm starting to see where this is going. But I'm not seeing why Killian isn't talking to you.”
“I kind of told him our friendship was a problem.”
Nina’s mouth opens and closes several times before words come out. “What do you mean you told him your friendship was a problem?” she asks in a high-pitched voice. “Are you insane?”
“I told him I was tired of defending myself to people about us being best friends.” I fold my arms across my chest like a petulant child pouting. “I shouldn't have to and he shouldn't either.”
“Please tell me, of all the moronic things that you could have said, you didn't say it like that.”
I wince.
“My God, Lila. So he defends you, so what? He doesn't care to defend you because you are the most important person in his life. He walks away from people who treat you like crap or say mean things. Or, you know, goes out and gives them a black eye or broken nose.” She shakes her head at me and shame starts to set in.
“I guess I got a little carried away then.”
Her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. “You think?”
“I have to apologize, don't I?”
“I would.”
I let out a defeated breath and lay my head back on the couch. “It really was a crappy date. He just kept talking about how perfect I was because I wasn't perfect for Killian.”
The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One Page 5