Nina glares back at me. “I do not.” Her eyes flicker back towards the field. “Oh look, they're wrapping up.” She waves her arms obnoxiously in the air with a big smile, attracting a few of the players attention as they head towards one of their coaches.
“What are you doing?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“I'm trying to get Killian’s attention,” she huffs. “My God, he can track a football in the damn sun and can't even notice me? What the hell, Lila, is he blind?”
“Maybe he doesn't like you,” I tease.
“Killian!” she screams next to me and starts flapping her arms again.
I wince as she continues to holler his name and resembles an injured bird trying to take flight.
“What the hell?” a voice booms back and Nina immediately quits moving her arms. “What is going on?”
I lean forward and shield my eyes from the sun so I can get a better view at who's talking to us. Coach Stephen is standing across from us at the bottom of the bleachers, his arms folded tightly across his chest.
“You are aware you're not a damn hummingbird ready to take flight, aren't ya?” Coach Stephen demands.
“Uh, yeah,” Nina mumbles.
“What the hell do you think you're doing? Practice isn't finished. If you want to go flirt with someone, do it at a time that isn't going to make them have to run an extra two miles,” Coach Stephen scowls.
“Sorry,” Nina says and flops back down next to me.
Coach Stephen looks at me and shakes his head. “What are you doing flirting with him when Killian’s girl is sitting right next to you anyways?”
“I'm not his girl,” I say at the same time that Nina says, “I'm trying to make her his girl.”
Coach Stephen just stares at us for a long moment before he stalks off grumbling, “I don't understand the female population on this campus. I shouldn't have even bothered.”
“That was interesting,” Nina blows out a breath.
“It could've been worse,” I agree.
“We just got chewed out in front of the entire football team by their head coach, how could it possibly get any worse?”
“Your boyfriend could have heard you.”
She waves that comment off. “He would have understood.”
“Uh, no,” I laugh, “he wouldn't have.”
“Well, he would after I explained why I was doing it.”
“Maybe.”
“This is really all your fault. You could have flagged down Killian.”
“They're not done with practice,” I try and mock Coach Stephen’s voice.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don't.”
“You're right,” she sighs dramatically. “So how do you think working on the farm went back home for Killian?”
I shrug my shoulders in response.
“Don't give me that; I know your mother called you to talk about it. I heard you.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Because I want details!”
Of course she does. Nina practically lives for the details of everyone else's business. Maybe even her own. She was a special kind of person, that's for damn sure.
“Lila!” she says and shoves my shoulder impatiently.
“It went fine. He went home, he fed cows, helped one calve, and then he spent the night, fed the cows the next morning, then came back here.”
“That's it? Because that doesn't seem like all of it.”
I sigh. “What do you want me to say?”
“Whatever your mom told you.”
“She wanted to know if I knew Killian was home for the night.”
“And?”
“And he only comes home when he's upset. That working the cattle helps him think.”
“Oh my God, this is like pulling teeth,” Nina groans. “Just spit it out already, will you?”
“She wanted to know if there was a girl,” I deadpan. “Killian's mom called my mom wanting to call me to see if I knew if he was having girl problems. And I said no.” I hold my hands open to silently add a, There.
“Did you tell her you were having boy problems?”
“Didn't you already admit to eavesdropping on my phone call?”
“I was trying to eavesdrop,” Nina clarifies. “But our walls are thick so it was hard.”
“Then yes, mom knows Jared and I aren't together.” I add in a brittle voice, “But she was very quick to tell me how Killian told her that Jared wasn't good enough for me.”
“I think even your mom knows that Killian and you need to be together.”
I scowl at her. Killian's mother and my mother have been trying to plan our wedding since we were little and became friends. They would be overly joyed to know that I had a thing for him.
“Stop giving me murdery eyes, I didn't do anything to you!”
A loud garble of words comes from across the field where the team is now dispersing from. I point over towards where a group of guys are staring at us and one of them is tapping on Killian's shoulder to get his attention.
“Okay, I might have instigated that,” Nina agrees without a trace of an apology.
“He's going to come over here,” I hiss at her.
“What are you, nine? You know how to talk to him,” Nina huffs and rolls her eyes. “Oh goodie, my boyfriend’s joining your soon-to-be boyfriends group. Oh, and now they're coming over here.” She pokes me in the side. “Good call.”
The boys, now all four of them, hop over the bottom railing of the bleachers and start to climb towards us.
Jeez, only Ian is wearing a shirt as they all flop down in the shade around us. Jackson kisses Nina’s head and tugs her into an awkward hug before he lays flat on the bench behind us.
“What did Coach come over here and say?” Alex asks.
“Oh, you know, how Nina shouldn't flap her arms like a bird,” I snort.
“I wasn't doing that. I was trying to get Killian’s attention,” Nina rolls her eyes.
“What?” Jackson frowns from behind her. “I'm your boyfriend, not him.”
“I know,” Nina blows him a kiss. “But I wanted to know about Killian's weekend.”
“Jesus, does everyone know I went home this weekend?” Killian scowls. “I've had, like, nine girls stop to ask me if I milked my cows and if I did it shirtless.”
I snort.
“Well, do you?” Alex teases.
“Screw you,” Killian relaxes on the bench below me. “I work beef. I tried telling those girls that and, I don't know, I think they took it wrong.”
“That you work with beef?” Jackson grins. “Gee, I wonder why some city schmucks would've taken that the wrong way.”
“That's never been a thing before college,” my best friend grumbles.
“You never answered how going home was, though,” Nina points out.
“It went fine,” Killian deadpans. “I kept myself busy.”
“Lila's mom said your mom called her wanting to know if you were having girl trouble,” Nina smirks.
Killian rolls his eyes. “My mom gossips with Lila’s mom every chance she gets. She always thinks when I come home it's because of a girl.”
“Didn't you?” Ian throws out there with a grin. “I mean, you've been going on and on about trying to find someone.”
“Shut the hell up,” Killian scowls over at him.
“I thought you didn't do relationships?” I nudge him with my foot as I ask Killian.
His eyes bore into mine for one second before he shrugs. “I don't.”
Well, that settles my curiosity then.
Chapter Fourteen
Killian
Lila moves a French fry from one side of her plate to the other. Everyone else has been actively engaging in conversation since we left the practice field to come to the Union.
Except her.
She's moody and I don't know why.
And it's bothering me a lot more than I'd willingly admit out loud.
I'm supposed
to be playing it cool, acting normal and everything while I think of a way to implement my plan into making her want me. This past weekend was supposed to help with that, but all I came up with was kissing her senseless and telling her she was mine, with or without her approval.
But that's frowned upon, and therefore unusable.
“Hey,” I nudge Lila with my knee bumping into hers. “What's up?”
“Nothing.” She leans away from her plate and drops her French fry she's been fiddling with. I reach over and pluck it off her plate, popping it into my mouth. She scowls at me. “I was going to eat that.”
“We both know if you were going to eat it, you would've done so twenty minutes ago when you apparently decided you hate Union food,” I tell her and point at her mostly full plate.
She puckers her lips at me and the urge to kiss her now, in front of everyone, becomes a hard idea to will away. “I'm just not hungry.”
“You're always hungry.”
“Not today, Killian.”
I frown at her. What did I do wrong? “Now I know there's something wrong if you aren't hungry. Just tell me what's wrong.”
“Do you really have girls come up to you wanting to know all about your business?” Lila asks. Her grey eyes watch me warily, but I have no clue why.
“I don't know why that shocks you,” I say and turn to face her more directly. “You know better than most people how crazy my life has been since college started. How everyone knowing everyone's business in a small town was one thing, compared to strangers wanting to know me because I have scouts watching me.”
“This is why I don't fit into your world,” she mumbles, but I hear her loud and clear.
“Lila,” I reach out and grab her hand, “you're one of maybe three people that get to know the real me. I'm not exactly a fan of all the attention anymore. It's getting old and it's wearing me down. You fit into my world because you've always been a part of it. You don't have to fit, you're already there.”
Lila stares at me, her mouth parted slightly open in shock or awe, I'm not sure. But she looks like she's seeing me for the first time and I wonder if she knows how I feel. If she can tell I'm struggling with trying to step over that line in the sand that's been there for so long.
“You're always going to be there,” I give her a soft smile. “So don't worry about what other people say or do.”
She's still staring at me without anything crossing her face.
“Lila?” I ask.
“I hear you,” she nods her head stiffly.
I don't think she does, but I let it go. My mind can't decipher why she would be upset unless she was jealous. But this new Killian, the one who likes his best friend, might just be a masochist in hoping she's jealous.
No wonder girls get so confused when they're not sure if a guy likes them back or not. This shit is confusing as hell.
“What are you two gossiping about over there?” Alex’s voice breaks our little spell that had blocked out the rest of the world.
“Wouldn't you like to know,” I smirk and lean back in my seat to face the table once again.
“If it's good gossip, then we all want to know,” Nina chimes in.
“There's no gossip,” Lila rolls her eyes and starts moving another fry around her plate absentmindedly.
I snatch the fry and eat it. Lila glares at me then drops her hands down into her lap so I'll stop taking the food she's playing with.
Like that'll actually stop me. My plates been cleared of any food for as long as it took Lila to stand in line to get a chicken sandwich and French fries. She may be able to fool everybody else at the table, but I know she only doesn't eat when she's upset or something is bothering her.
“Then why do you two look so cozy together?” Nina asks.
Did we look cozy? I glance at Lila and she's sitting a lot closer than Ian on my right. So maybe it just came off as being cozy.
“Because we were having a private conversation that you weren't a part of?” Lila laughs. “How is that my fault that we were cozy?”
“Ian, did you hear what it was about?” Nina demands.
Jackson quickly butts in before Ian can answer, “Babe, what the hell? What is your sudden obsession with them? Leave it alone.”
Nina opens her mouth, glances at Lila before back to her boyfriend, then closes her mouth.
If only I had Jackson around twenty-four-seven to keep his girlfriend from prying into my life. She didn't need to make Lila uncomfortable by insinuating something. Especially since she's not aware of how I feel.
“This has been real fun,” Lila says blandly while shoving away from the table before collecting her plate. “But I'm going to head home.”
“You're no fun,” Nina huffs, but leans into Jackson’s side. “I'll probably be at Jackson’s tonight.”
Lila waves her off. “That's fine. Have a good time.”
The table descends into silence as we watch her walk away and out the door. Ian nudges my shoulder and lifts his chin in her direction.
“What?” I frown.
“Dude,” Ian rolls his eyes at me. “Go after her.”
“Yeah,” Alex adds from across the table. “Put your plan into action.”
“I don't have a plan,” I shrug.
“Bullshit,” Ian points at me. “There's no way that you didn't at least think of something when you went home this weekend.”
I glance over at Nina, who's staring at us curiously and I want to curse Ian for starting this conversation where Lila’s best friend can hear.
Shoving away from the table, I snatch up my plate with a little more force than necessary. “Fine,” I grunt. “I'm headed out, too.”
I turn my back and make it roughly four steps before I hear Nina say, “What the hell is going on?” But no one answers her.
My shoulders relax as I dump my plate and slide easily out of the Union. Shoving my hands down into the pockets of my workout pants, I pull in a deep breath of the salty air.
The people who come to Hanson University from further inside North Carolina don't quite catch the air difference at first, until they leave to go home. When they get back, it's a refreshing scent of ocean air that blows in the wind.
Lila and I used to go down to the beach on weekends all the time, even though she mostly hid under a giant umbrella and rarely risked dashing into the sun for chance of turning into a lobster.
It seems so obvious now, as I make my way towards the apartment complex right off campus. How didn't I see her until now? All of my favorite memories, and even some of my not-so-favorite memories, all have Lila wrapped around them at some point.
I wasn't ready for her then, but I'm ready for her now. And the only obstacle in my way is probably sitting on her couch twenty yards in front of me on the other side of the peeled outside paneling that makes up the wall.
My fist hesitates to knock. Which is a first. What am I supposed to say to her when she comes to the door? But I decide to wing it and knock anyways.
And wait.
And then wait a little more.
Shit. What if she's not home? She said she was going home.
Finally, right before I'm ready to knock again, the door swings open to reveal Lila in a changed pair of clothes. She has on cotton shorts and a tank top. Looking like she's about to head to bed at seven o’clock at night. On a Monday.
“What are you doing here?” Lila asks, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.
“I wanted to check on you.” There. I knew I would come up with something to say.
“Why?”
Okay, now I'm not sure how to approach this conversation. “Well, you weren't eating.” Wow. That was lame, Killian.
Lila sighs and shoves open the door to let me into the apartment that's an exact mirror image of my own, but with different furniture.
“Thanks,” I grumble and then drop down onto their red couch.
She tentatively sits at the other end of the couch, eyeing me strangely. “I feel li
ke I should be asking you what's wrong.”
“I don't know.” Honest to God’s truth.
“Why did you come here?”
Sighing, I say, “Because you seemed like you needed someone to be here.”
“Killian.” That's it. She doesn't say anything else but my name.
Screw it. I can't help help myself when it comes to her anymore. Reaching out, I drag her towards me until she's sitting with her side jammed into mine.
She lays her head down on my shoulder, staring out blankly at the television that's not turned on.
“I don't know what to say,” I grunt.
“Neither do I.”
“Why aren't you eating dinner?”
“It's not that big of a deal, Killian. I just wasn't hungry.”
“You're never not hungry. You could outeat Ian and Alex if you wanted to. But you barely touched your food tonight.”
“I've had a lot on my mind.”
“You've been acting weird since I went home,” I point out. “Did my mom say something to your mom? Is that why your mom called you?”
“No,” Lila answers slowly. “Like I said, they just wanted to know if you were having girl troubles.” She peeks over at me before looking away quickly, but I haven't stopped looking at her. “I told them no.”
“Okay? And why is that making you act weird?”
“Is there a girl problem?” Lila suddenly blurts out rather loudly.
My eyebrows pull in together. “What?”
“You're not partying,” she tells me like it's obvious. “You haven't hooked up with a girl. And you know how I know that? Because a girl came up to me again asking if we were a thing because you haven't been around.”
“I told you I want something more out of a girl now.”
“But you don't want a relationship.”
That's what this is about? That I told her I didn't want to do relationships? Does she even know how badly I wanted to tack on because I only want you at the end? Of course she doesn't.
“And that's fine. I don't want a relationship either.”
“What?” my voice comes out way higher than I'd like to admit to. I clear my throat, “This isn't about wanting to sleep around is it? Because I told you that's not happening. Ever.”
“No.”
“Baby doll,” I groan in frustration and rub my hand over my face, “what are you talking about?”
The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One Page 10