Jackson just shrugs his massive shoulders. “That’s all I was told. Something about Lila not being good enough and Killian stepping out when he got the girlfriend title settled.”
“Lila thinks I cheated on her the minute that I got her to finally admit to dating me?” I scowl. “What kind of logic is that?”
“Apparently one your girlfriend believed coming from some football groupie,” the lineman sighs. “Look, it’s not my fight or anything. But those girls can be vicious. So if it looked bad and then someone came up to her, it’s not a far stretch that her mind would jump to that conclusion that was handed to her.”
“But it’s not true,” I growl.
“So what do you want me to do about it? I wasn’t there. I was just the one Nina swore your name up and down the Atlantic ocean to,” Jackson says.
“I don’t know,” I lean my back against my locker and shut my eyes. “I don’t know how to erase my past.”
“Well, I’d start by talking to her. See if she’ll hear you out,” Ian offers.
“Hell, I’ll go and talk to her if you want,” Alex says. “I was there.”
“No,” I frown and shake my head. “I’ll figure this one out on my own. I can’t lose her.” Not when I just got her. Not when I jumped both feet over the line in the sand to be with my best friend.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lila
“You’re lying.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say.
Nina stares at me, her arms folded in front of her tightly. “You were there, too.”
“But he’s not a cheater,” I insist.
“Look, I don’t want to think that Killian would cheat either. But you heard what the tramp said at the Union.”
“And I’m supposed to believe the word of some tramp over Killian’s?” I frown.
“Then call him.”
Ah, and herein lies the dilemma. I would love nothing more than to pick up the phone and call him like a reasonable person. But whoever made the assumption that hormonal females can be reasonable is a bold-faced liar.
“Just call him,” Nina repeats.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I blocked him.”
Nina goes back to staring at me silently for a few seconds. “You blocked your own boyfriend on your phone?”
“I needed time to think!”
“And you think blocking him is going to make him not be able to talk to you?” Nina scoffs and starts angrily pointing towards our front door. “He lives four feet from us!”
Yeah, well, like I said, being hormonal doesn’t make me reasonable.
“Not that I’m a big Killian Blane fan right now,” Nina adds on in a huff. “But you know damn well he’s going to come banging on that door in a heartbeat because you’re not answering him.” She pauses. “On second thought, let him come. I have a bone to pick with him.”
“I can’t talk to him right now,” I rub my hands over my face. “I don’t know what to think.”
“You were literally just telling me that I was a liar, even though you were standing right next to me the whole time and saw everything that I saw,” Nina glares. “So you know exactly what to think but you don’t want to say it out loud because then that makes it real.”
“He’s not a cheater.”
“Okay, so maybe whatever fake bitch that came up to you and told you he was a good lay is actually lying.”
“It wasn’t just her,” I sigh and flop down onto the couch. “It was every one of those girls agreeing with her because they all know Killian.”
“Correction, they only know Killian’s anatomy.”
“That is not helping.”
“I don’t know whether I want to help or want to murder him,” Nina sits down next to me. “I’m all over the place too and I’m not even dating him.”
“I just knew this was going to happen,” I groan and stand up again to pace between the kitchen and living room. “I mean, come on, Nina. I’m nothing like the girls he hooks up with. And you remember the barbeque when he just stood there in front of me with two girls under his arms? It’s just natural to him at this point.”
“Okay, but you weren’t dating then.”
To someone being logical, that would probably put them at ease, but not me. “He admitted that he liked me then. Since before then, so why would he change who he’s become for me? I’m the one who barely agreed to be his girlfriend.”
“I don’t think you can barely be someone’s girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t take me on dates.”
“Since when does Killian know how to properly date?” Nina points out.
“That’s still not helping his cause.”
“You need to realize that this fantasy guy you’ve got in your head is never going to live up to anybody in your life. Do I agree with what that skank told you? I don’t know. I don’t know Killian well enough to defend him or not. Because all I know is what the campus knows about him. And that doesn’t bode well for him.”
“Should I hear him out?” I ask her quietly.
“Are you ready to hear him out is the real question,” Nina says while standing up so I'll quit pacing.
Am I? Part of me feels like if I do it’ll only confirm the fears that I had about him. Fears that so many of his sex buddies thought to tell me earlier today.
You’re not his type. I don’t know why he’d date you. You aren’t even that pretty.
He’s only dating her to see how far she’ll go. Must be a challenge from the team.
That’s the only way he’d be with someone like you.
Over half of the female population has slept with him, why do you think you’re so special? You’re not.
It’s like a bad rerun stuck on repeat in my head. Going over and over again all the things they said to me.
This was the reason that I didn’t want to date anyone. This was the reason that I told Killian I could never go out with a manwhore. A practical manwhore celebrity on campus is who I ended up with, too. I can practically taste the irony now.
“I don't think I'm ready to hear him out,” I frown. “Not until I can think straight that is.”
“Okay, that's fine. Because I'm pissed at him too for letting that gaggle of girls rush you when we got there to eat. But just so you know,” Nina goes back to jamming her finger in the direction of the front door, “four feet.”
“I know he lives four feet from us!”
“Well don't be surprised if he bangs on that door demanding to talk to you.”
“He doesn't even know I'm upset right now.”
Nina bites her lip and glances away from me.
“What did you do?” I demand.
“Uh, I kind of told Jackson.”
“You told your boyfriend?” I gape.
“Hey! We don't keep secrets from each other! Well, you know, unless I don't tell him something, then otherwise we don't keep secrets from each other.”
I stare at her. “He probably told Killian.”
“I wouldn't say that would be unlikely,” she winces. “But in my defense, you blocked him on your phone. That ought to be enough for him to panic all on his own.”
“But he doesn't know I blocked him! He just knows what Jackson told him!” I groan. I unblock Killian’s number and wait a few seconds before my phone starts to buzz like crazy from missed calls and texts.
“Jeez,” Nina says.
All of a sudden my phone starts to ring with Killian’s picture flashing across the screen. “Ah!” I yelp and toss my phone to Nina like we're playing hot-potato.
“I don't want it!” she says and tosses it back to me.
“Neither do I!”
“It's your phone!” Nina says after I toss it back to her. Instead of tossing it back to me, however, she opens the fridge and closes the door on it. “There,” she says calmly.
“What did that do?” I huff.
“We can't hear it. Out of sight, out of mind, right?”
> We both turn to stare at the closed fridge door with a slight buzzing noise coming from inside.
Nina looks back at me. “So, that went well.”
“Maybe I should talk to him.”
“You just said you didn't want to.”
I wince. “I don't. I mean I do, but what if he tells me that everything that girl said was true? Or what if he tells me he's not sure about this whole dating thing. Or what if I'm wrong and he's not cheated or wanting to and then he doesn't want to be with me because I'm overreacting.”
Nina blinks at me for several long minutes. “You're head is just too full of nonsense right now. You need a chill pill to calm the hell down and think for yourself.”
“Okay.” I shift from side to side. “Maybe I should go to the library. It's a quiet place. I can take my sketchbook and draw something.”
“See? That'll probably do you good,” she agrees.
I glance back towards where my phone is at. “Should I take it out?”
“I wouldn't if I were you. You're liable to go off or cry if you talk to him right now. Possibly murder as well. So, no.”
Neither of us say anything as the phone quiets from within the refrigerator. After several seconds of silence, I sigh. “I think he gave up.”
“Lila Summers!” I hear from the other side of the front door, right before the banging of a fist happens. “Open up!”
“Four feet,” Nina hisses in a whisper.
“I can't leave now!” I whisper back. “What do I do?”
“Nobody's home!” Nina yells to our door.
“How is that supposed to make him think nobody is home?” I demand quietly.
“Open the fucking door right now!” Killian yells.
“Not if you're going to sound all angry!” Nina yells back to him. “Quick, go out the window while he's distracted,” she hisses to me.
“The window?” I stare in disbelief at her. “You're kidding me, right?”
The banging on the door continues in the background.
“You hear that?” Nina points towards where the very angry man is on the other side of our front door. “That is not kidding. So either talk to him, or out the window you go.”
“You can't be serious.”
“Lila!” Killian yells again for the third time.
Okay, so maybe she's serious. I huff as I make my way towards my bedroom. Am I seriously about to open my window and climb out? I live on the ground floor, but still.
I'm probably going to regret this.
I unlatch my window and shove it open. Since the apartment complex is housed to mostly students, it's not uncommon that over half the windows in the building are missing screens for one reason or another.
In fact, I happen to know that two doors down they purposely knocked out the screen to puke their booze infused guts up at night so they didn't have to clean themselves up in the morning.
Something should really be said about all the alcoholics that tend to come out of college. But nothing that can really be done about it, either.
After I grab my sketchbook, I duck my way through the three-foot drop into the grass, I shove my window back down and glance towards where I know just around the corner, Killian is beating on the door like a madman.
Unfortunately for me, Alex is standing far back on the sidewalk, staring at me then glancing at Killian. I press my finger to my lips in hopes that Alex doesn't out me for climbing out the window.
There's definitely no way I'm going to be able to outrun a football player, especially if he's on a mission. And the target is me.
I take off on the fastest tiptoeing sprint that I can manage until I'm safely across the street and power walking similar to old ladies who do this in track suits after church on Sunday’s.
Yep. That's currently me as I rush through the doors of the library and up onto the third floor, also known as the silent floor.
Maybe I'll get some peace and quiet and sketch the nerves and anxiety out of my system. I drop down into an empty desk in the far corner of the room, hidden by a multitude of large bookshelves.
Flipping open to a clean page, I poise my pencil and then sit and stare at the paper.
Dammit.
I've got no idea what to draw. Nothing at all comes to mind as I tap the pencil on the paper. I dig the end of the pencil into my splint and scratch an itch that's formed on the center of my palm.
“You're not supposed to do that, that's bad for you,” a voice behind me says.
I jump nearly four feet in the air.
Okay, maybe it was like two inches, but still.
“You scared me,” I whisper-hiss.
Ian flops down into the seat across from me and drops his textbook with a notebook shoved in the middle of it onto my sketchbook.
“What are you doing here? Does Killian know I'm here?”
“Does your boyfriend know you're hiding in a library wasting time doing nothing instead of talking to him? No, no he does not.” Ian settles back in his seat and folds his arms over his chest. “Shouldn't you be talking to him?”
“Does everyone know I'm not talking to him?” I frown.
“When you don't pick up your phone all day, then yeah, everyone knows.” Ian arches an eyebrow at me. “So text him you're here.”
“I can't.”
He blows out an aggravated breath. “Why not? He's been going crazy all day.”
“I don't have my phone on me.”
Ian blinks at me. “Where's your phone?”
I mumble, “In the fridge.”
“What?” he asks as he continues to stare.
“It's in the fridge,” I repeat. “Next to Nina’s leftover burrito, I think.”
He continues to stare at me. “You're joking.”
I decide to tell him the truth by adding, “I also climbed out of my window to get here because he was banging on the front door.”
“You're kidding.” Ian squints his eyes at me before they widen in horror. “Shit, you're not kidding. What the hell, Lila?”
“I don't know what's going on!” I defend. “Those girls,” I shake my head, “and then he had this girl all over him and he didn't do anything.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw him,” I say in frustration. “Nina and I went to the Union to grab lunch together and Killian was there, with this girl practically crawling into his lap and all her little friends. Then the girls get up and that girl comes up to me to tell me how great of a lay Killian is and all her little friends start making these smartass remarks about how I'm not his type or serious or anything to him.”
Ian sighs and scrubs a hand over his face.
“I'm not like you guys,” I say sadly. “I don't know how to be in the spotlight of his life. I don't know how to deal with all these girls saying these things to me. It's why I didn't want to date him date him until I was sure.”
“And now you're not sure?”
“Now, I don't know. I can hear all their voices in my head and it's making me doubt everything.”
“And you thought climbing out a window was the logical response to all of it? Instead of talking to Killian?”
I'm quiet for a while before I sum up the nerve to say, “What if he thinks that, too?”
“He doesn't.”
“But what if he does?”
“Lila,” Ian says irritably, “he wouldn't be at your door worried about you.”
He's right, I know he probably is, but there's still that little piece of fear that I just can't shake.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Killian
“Where the hell is she?” I demand again.
Nina blinks her wide green eyes at me in innocence. “I don't know.”
I rub my hands over my face again and look around the sparse living room. Lila is nowhere to be seen. And it's too quiet to think she might be hiding. She's was the absolute worst at playing hide-and-seek when we were kids.
“She's not here,” Nina repeats. And even
though I've been standing here for the past ten minutes wanting to know where the hell Lila is, Nina is probably telling the truth since Lila would have given in by now to talk to me.
“Uh,” Alex knocks on the open door behind me. He followed me from the locker room, refusing to let me go alone to see Lila so that way she would get the whole story from both points of view.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“I'm not sure if I'm seeing things or if Lila literally just climbed out of her bedroom window,” Alex says calmly.
I turn to glare at Nina in accusation.
She lifts her chin in the air. “I have no idea what he's talking about.”
“What do you mean you saw her climb out her bedroom window?” I ask.
“Like, out she came with some big notebook in her hand and then she ran like her ass was on fire,” Alex explains. He points towards the direction of campus.
“Nina!” I turn around and glare at her again. “Where did she go?”
“Why would I tell you that?” Nina scowls. “She needs to clear her head. She was boiling down to a panic attack and you banging on the door like a caveman wasn't helping matters.”
“I need to explain,” I insist.
“Explain what? You had some girl draped all over you? Yeah, we were there, we saw. And then the nerve of that bitch to say what she did to Lila,” Nina rants and starts walking towards the kitchen in a huff to open and slam cabinets at random.
“It wasn't like that,” I say in frustration. “She came over to our table. Where I sat down to talk to Alex. Her and her little group just dragged chairs and joined us.”
“At our two person table,” Alex emphasizes. “Killian just came to talk to me. That's it, I swear.”
“Then why was she crawling all over you?” Nina demands. “She was just pawing and groping you in public.”
“I wasn't being groped,” I roll my eyes. “You're exaggerating.”
“Oh, yeah,” Nina huffs in a sarcastic voice, “I'm exaggerating so much that your girlfriend didn't actually believe what those girls said and had a freak out. Yeah, completely exaggerating the whole situation.”
“This whole thing is being blown way out of proportion,” I say. “Where is Lila?”
The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One Page 18