by Destiny, Sam
“I know that feeling.” She turned serious then. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here.”
I nodded. “I won’t lie. It’s unexpected.”
Mrs. Harris clasped her hands together in her lap. “Besides the fact that Sally is at daycare playing and Dale’s at work carrying God-knows-what to God-knows-where causing me to be bored, I’m curious. Did you meet Jacky before she was taken from Dale?”
Ah, his wife. “I didn’t. I moved here after everything happened. Dale and I don’t exactly see eye to eye, so I don’t know anything about her.
Except that it had been brutal. The whole neighborhood knew that.
Her eyes reminded me of Dale’s, his just as warm as hers, and her hair was white as a sheet. I still couldn’t put my finger on how old she was because her face seemed youthful, her eyes alight with curiosity.
“He’s been lonely ever since she died. They’d been high school sweethearts. I don’t think Dale ever knew what true love was.”
I choked on air, surprised to hear his mother say something like that, especially to a stranger. “The way it sounded, they were very much in love. Besides, you can find love in high school. Lifelong love, too.” I hadn’t, but I heard it happened.
“Miss Delaney—”
“Call me Clare. You calling me ‘Miss’ makes me feel older than I already am,” I replied. I had no idea why my biological clock ticked so loudly lately, but it did. It was almost all I could hear some days.
“You’re still young, Clare, and the fact that you’re here without your own family tells me you, too, have never really loved. Let me be blunt.” I wondered how much more blunt she could get. After all, she didn’t exactly hold back with her opinions…about anything. “Dale knows he needs someone in his life, but lately, I have a feeling he’s compensating that need with one-night stands, and that’s…” She sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t think that’s the solution to his problem. However, I’ve seen the way he sometimes looks over here, heard the way he speaks about you and his daughter. You like Sally, don’t you?”
“Mrs. Harris, let me be frank. If you came here on a matchmaking mission, you’re way off. Your son and I mostly scream at each other…” Or fuck each other’s brains out. “As much as I adore Sally, I dislike her father. He’s condescending and rude, not to mention an asshole most of the time. Is he handsome? Very much so, but his love life is none of my business. Trust me, I don’t want it to be, either.”
Funnily enough, the thought had my heart thudding angrily against my ribcage, hating to think about all the women he might pick up in bars the moment he decided our little rendezvous weren’t enough.
His mother laughed, then shook her head. “I’m not here to match you and him because, honestly, if this went south, there wouldn’t be anyone to help him with Sally, and I don’t want that. I’m just here to ask you if maybe you’d be willing to babysit her should he start dating seriously.”
I was stunned into silence. Sitting here, watching his daughter, while he tried to find a woman to spend his life with? A woman who’d get to kiss his cheek after he fell into bed, exhausted from the day or maybe buzzed from a few beers? Someone who’d get to see him first thing in the morning when the lines on his face were still relaxed because nothing had added to his stress yet?
Does he smile in his sleep? Is he a hugger?
My breath froze in my chest at those thoughts because, by god, I wanted to experience that.
Holy shit! I’m falling for Dale Harris, and not just in a get-him-naked way.
I rubbed my chest, suddenly hurting at the thought of him showing up one day, relaxed, smiling, introducing me to his new girlfriend.
Leaning back, surprised and shocked at my own revelation in my head, I realized his mother waited for an answer.
“I’ll watch her whenever he needs it,” I heard myself say, noticing a weird expression cross her face before a little smile lifted the corner of her mouth.
“Are you okay, dear? You look a little pale.”
I nodded, shaking off the feeling of wanting more from Dale Harris than just his body, and gave her a small smile. “I’ve been exhausted lately, and my stomach’s acting up, so I’m sorry if I’m not the best partner for conversation.”
It wasn’t a lie. I couldn’t remember the last time I had coffee because that unsettled my stomach even more. It wasn’t so bad that I had was constantly in the bathroom, but I didn’t exactly feel peachy most of the time, either. My doctor had told me there was a stomach bug going around and that tea and low-fat food would cure it soon, so that was what I was doing.
“No worries. I settled what I came here for. Thank you for being kind and a good neighbor, even though you and Dale don’t like each other.” She stood, and I followed. “Now all I need to do is convince my son to find himself a good woman. One he won’t be able to stop touching, and one who’s preferably smart rather than a dumb blonde.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say, and walked her to the door, wondering where Lacrosse had gone. I wasn’t too worried because she loved hiding in the house, usually falling asleep somewhere. I’d find her eventually.
Dale’s mother hesitated in the door, turning back to me. “And, Clare, just to be clear. I loved Jacky. She was an amazing woman and a great mother. However, I know she and Dale weren’t as in love as I’d have wanted. Even before Sally was born, I think she partly regretted having committed so early. She would’ve been the right woman for another man. For Dale, she was his first and only. He really doesn’t know what love is. I’m not being mean, just frank.”
I cleared my throat. “You’re his mother. I think if someone knows things like that, it’s definitely you. I’m sorry your son didn’t have the happiness he deserved.” And I meant it. If what she said were true, Dale never had the chance to reach his true potential. I was sure of it.
“I wish she hadn’t died. She deserved to find true happiness just as much as Dale does, but I haven’t given up hope yet.” Her smile was weak, showing that she had loved her daughter-in-law in her own way.
I squeezed her shoulder briefly. “Thank you for dropping by. If you are able to convince your son to date, I’ll definitely take care of Sally.”
I looked forward to that, but knew I’d still hate every second simply because now that I knew I liked Dale, I couldn’t stomach the thought of him talking to someone else.
I was a nutcase. Maybe I should start therapy. After all, who the hell fell for their asshole neighbor?
DALE
I came home from work exhausted, the moving company I worked at too busy for the few people they had, and the first thing I saw was Delaney’s puppy in Jacky’s roses, digging hole after hole with not a care in the world.
Looking around, I saw that my whole yard looked as if someone had tried to find a treasure. I considered taking a shower first—I was sticky, sweaty, and felt disgusting—but feared if I let the pup roam free any longer, the garden would be unsalvageable. I grabbed the puppy and picked her up, instantly feeling a tongue on my face. Damn, she was adorable, yet I kept stoking my anger because I couldn’t allow Delaney’s dog to just make a mess of my yard.
I didn’t knock, knowing she hadn’t started locking her door, and stood in her living room, not caring that I dragged dirt—dirt her dog had created in my garden in the first place—into her pristine space.
“Where the hell are you, and why the fuck is your dog digging in my garden?”
Lacrosse struggled in my grip, although I’d been mindful to not squeeze her too tightly. Feeling her little heart beating like crazy under my fingertips, I put her down, listening to the silence of the house.
“Clare?” My tone was less angry now as worry crept in. I had no idea what it was about her that had me coming back again and again, or why she let me in the first place, but when I was with her, my mind cleared for a few precious hours.
Lacrosse raced out of the room as I called for Clare again, finally deciding to climb the stairs aft
er the pup. Clearly, she knew where she was going.
Damn, how many times had I told Clare she shouldn’t leave her door unlocked? What if someone came in? What if something happened to her?
My heart thundered in my chest, my hand reaching for my phone, ready to call an ambulance.
There was a door open at the end of the hall, Lacrosse whimpering inside the room. My hand shook as I pushed the door, opening it farther. I had no idea what I expected, but a relieved breath left my lips when I didn’t immediately see blood.
I did, however, see Clare sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed, looking out the window.
“Clare?”
“Just get out, Dale,” she replied, her voice weak.
“Get out? If you’d lock your door the way I’d told you a million times, I wouldn’t have been able to stand here to begin with. Your fucking dog dug up my garden and I brought her back. Can you keep her in check?” There was no heat behind the words, no matter how much I wanted there to be.
“I’m sorry,” she stated. That was all. No discussion, no yelling, no nothing.
“Clare, what’s going on?” I took another step toward her, forcing myself to keep my eyes on her and not look around the room.
“Nothing. Just leave. I’ll take care of your garden tomorrow.”
She didn’t turn, didn’t reach for Lacrosse whimpering at her feet. I glanced around, seeing an open bathroom door with a light on, making me think she’d made her way out when she’d heard me calling. There was a towel on the floor, almost like she’d tried to clean something.
Walking around the bed, I crouched next to her. She trembled, her lips white, her face pale, sweat beading up on her forehead.
She looked like shit, and I recognized the signs.
She’d been throwing up. Sally looked like that when she did.
“Why can’t you just do what people tell you for once?” she groaned.
I stood, deciding to not comment. I didn’t think about the fact that I wanted to take care of her, either. I shoved it into the darkest corner of my mind because, hell, I had no time to analyze all those stupid feelings.
Instead, I walked into the bathroom and finished wiping the floor clean, then gathered all the towels and brought them downstairs where I found the washing machine, putting a load in. I then ventured into the kitchen and searched her cupboards until I found a glass and some saltine crackers.
I didn’t find any ginger ale in her fridge, so water would have to do.
As I made my way back up the stairs, I heard her soft sobs even before I entered the bedroom. She’d probably thought I left. I walked in and slid down next to her, making sure she felt my shoulder brush up against hers.
“Here. Take the crackers and the water,” I ordered softly. She looked up, her tear-stained face still beautiful.
“I can’t, Dale. Not today. Just leave me alone, okay? I cannot handle you today.”
When I failed to move, she sighed, grabbing the crackers and water. I waited until she ate three crackers and drank at least half the glass, then I put them on the floor on my other side.
“There’s a stomach bug going around. Half Sally’s class was gone last week because of it. Luckily, she’s as healthy as a horse,” I said.
She gave me a soft smile. “I heard about that. I’ve felt off for a few days, but thought I’d missed it. Seems I didn’t.” Her head lifted and she stared up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly.
I knew that gesture, too. She was trying not to cry.
“Are you in pain?”
Sometimes, Sally could barely walk and screamed her heart out when she had stomach troubles, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Clare felt the same.
“I’m okay now,” she whispered. I could tell she was lying.
Getting to my feet, I swept her up into my arms, almost grinning at her surprised shriek and the way Lacrosse suddenly growled at me. It was adorable, the little furball trying to protect Clare.
I placed her on the bed, covering her with the blanket. “Try for sleep, okay? Warmth and rest will help.” I watched her for a moment, her green eyes filled with confusion and doubt as they seemed to study me.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Dale? Did they secretly exchange you for a nicer version?”
Her dig didn’t anger me like it usually would have. I sighed. “You’re miserable and alone, Clare. Yes, I’m an asshole, but I’m not heartless.”
She cuddled under the blankets and muttered something that sounded pretty close to “could’ve fooled me”, but I didn’t comment on it.
She closed her eyes, licking her dry lips. I watched her a moment longer before Lacrosse tried to jump up onto the bed, struggling until I helped her. She sat down in front of Clare’s face and stared at me, as if telling me to get the fuck out, so I did.
Downstairs, I swept up the mess I’d made when I first walked in, then went home, my mind preoccupied.
When I walked into my house, Sally ran up like a whirlwind, barreling into me. I picked her up to kiss her and she wrinkled her nose.
“You stink, Daddy,” she announced, struggling to get back down. My daughter vanished up the stairs as Mom walked in and leaned against the doorframe, her eyes watchful and knowing.
“What?” I asked, passing by to kick off my boots and peel off the dirty lumberjack shirt I wore over my t-shirt.
“Where were you? Aren’t you kind of late?” The way her eyes sparkled, she knew exactly where I’d been.
I rolled my eyes. “That annoying puppy from next door dug through our whole garden. Jacky’s roses are a mess.” I knew I should check on them to see if they needed immediate attention, but frankly, I couldn’t find it in myself to go out again. “I took the bratty beast back to its owner and gave her a piece of my mind. If she cannot keep that pup in check, I’ll make sure it no longer lives next door.”
At her outraged gasp, I realized what she probably thought I meant and I lifted my hands. “Mom, I’d just make sure she returns it to the shelter she got it from. Jesus, I wouldn’t kill a puppy. What kind of monster do you think I am?”
She shook her head as I shed my t-shirt, realizing my daughter was right. I smelled horrible.
“I wasn’t sure. It must’ve been a long talk because I could swear your truck has been in the drive for almost an hour.”
I knew she was fishing for information, but I wasn’t ready to give her more.
“I’m gonna go shower. Did you start dinner?”
Every time my mom visited, I didn’t know how I usually managed my daughter and work because she did dinner, cleaned, and made sure we always had fresh clothes.
“Almost done. If you want, we can eat after your shower.”
Hell yes, I want. I sometimes forgot to eat during work, so I was famished.
Making my way upstairs, I listened to Sally talk with her dolls through the open door of her room, then I vanished into the bathroom, not looking into the mirror. I didn’t know what I’d see looking back at me.
CLARE
Dale was the last person I’d wanted to see in my misery, yet after I’d napped for three hours, I felt much better and was ready to deal with the mess I’d created on the bathroom floor—only to find it had already been cleaned and the washing done.
There was no way I could put into words how grateful I was for his help, even if I wished I could’ve been spared the embarrassing encounter. It would only give him more things to hold against me.
Then again, were we still fighting, or had we now reached a weird limbo between hate and something more?
I showered, taking my time because the warm water eased some of my soreness.
Hell, throwing up hurt, especially if your stomach was practically empty. It also taught me to not jinx things. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt as bad had I not told Dale’s mom I hadn’t caught the worst of it.
After my shower, I slipped into long pajama bottoms and a loose shirt, deciding to forgo the bra. After all, I’d just be on the sofa
until I either fell asleep or went back to bed.
It was getting late, yet I felt rested for a change.
I got myself some more crackers, and just when I was about to sit down on the sofa to watch some TV, my front screen door screeched and the door opened.
I really do need to start locking up.
Dale walked in. The soft glow of my reading light next to the sofa made him look haunted, shadows playing over his face.
“You’re up and walking. And you showered,” he commented, his tone somewhere between annoyed and worried.
“I thought that would be good news. Going somewhere?” I nodded toward the bottle in his hand. He stepped closer, holding it out to me.
“It’s ginger ale. Easy on the stomach. I couldn’t find any in your kitchen earlier, so I thought I’d drop it off and check on you again. Do you have parents or a sister you can call? Or a friend? Someone who can come check on you while you’re feeling out of it?” He placed the bottle on the coffee table. “I don’t have time to babysit you, you know?”
I snorted. “I didn’t ask you to. In fact, I remember very clearly telling you to get out. I think I repeated it more than once.”
I still stood next to the sofa, undecided as to what to do, and Dale just watched me. My heart ached at the care and consideration he’d shown, coming here to check on me again. No matter how much his words contradicted his actions, I liked that he’d taken care of me.
“Clare…”
His tone said it all. I’d heard the longing in it more than once, and as much as I doubted I could feel drawn to him after the day I had, I wanted him close, wanted him to undress me.
“Here.” I didn’t move, waiting for him to take the first step. He did, albeit hesitantly.
“How is the stomach feeling?” His voice was just a murmur as he took another tentative step forward. There were maybe three more between us before he’d reach me.
I swallowed. I knew what he was asking, and I knew what I wanted. Maybe I shouldn’t, but my skin flushed, my nipples pebbling under the loose shirt. My lips parted and I licked them, moving in until I could brush my hand across his chest, giving him the answer he was looking for.