“We grew up together. He was my best friend first, and then we fell in love. Are you listening to me?”
“Not really.” I kept walking.
“I’m the love of his life, and he’s the love of mine. Do you know what that means?”
I stopped and turned, fed up with this game. “It means you need to get a reality-check. He doesn’t want you.”
Brianne’s eyes glittered. “No! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
I shook my head, feeling helpless and frustrated. Brianne stepped in front of me, blocking my way. “Do you know what Jason did after I broke up with him?”
Whatever it was, I didn’t want to hear it from her.
“He was so heartbroken. He tried to kill himself.” Her voice broke on the last few words, and she began to cry.
Shocked, I just stared at her. Turning the words over in my mind, I struggled to stay calm.
Brianne sobbed.
What the hell was going on?
“If I’d known how much I’d hurt him I’d never have done what I did. I am so sorry.” She was crying harder now, the tears slipping quickly down her cheeks. “I’ll never forgive myself for that night.”
With one last heartbroken sound that seemed torn from her, Brianne ran.
I stood there frozen, watching her disappear down the hall, having no idea what would possess her to make up something like that. A sound from behind, had me spinning around. It was Lucy and she looked as distraught as Brianne.
“She had no right to say those things. It’s not fair that you had to find out this way,” Lucy whispered, clearly upset.
It took a moment for what Lucy was saying to sink in, and when it did I couldn’t believe it. “You mean it’s true?”
Lucy nodded, somberly. “I’m sorry.”
So was I.
“Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it,” Jase whispered against my ear.
Lying naked in his arms with my head resting over his heart, I’d never felt more peaceful or more in love. Part of me wanted to just come out and tell Jase what I’d found out, but I really wanted him to tell me what happened on his own.
My fingertips slid over the scar at his wrist, and my chest ached to think of how much pain he’d been in to do something so drastic. I’d never given the scar much thought before now. He’d told me it was an accident, and I hadn’t pressed for details. Jase was the strongest person I knew. It broke my heart to think of what he’d suffered.
“How’d you get this scar?”
I felt him tense. “It’s nothing, an accident. I thought I’d told you this before.”
Several heartbeats passed, and I realized he’d said all he intended to say. He also was lying. I suddenly felt like crying.
“You’re going to make me guess what’s wrong, aren’t you?” he cajoled.
“I want to tell you.” God, I wanted so badly to tell him.
“Then why don’t you?”
“Because I want you to tell me.”
Jase chuckled. “That sounds like a riddle.”
I can’t explain what happened next. Everything bad that had happened over the last two weeks caught up with me, and it felt like I was being crushed beneath the weight of emotional drama. I thought of Olivia, Jase’s parents’, and Brianne. They all seemed to be equally screwed up in their own way, but what threatened to break me was the idea that Jase would want to end his life. I didn’t believe for a moment that he’d done that. A world without Jase Ford was unthinkable.
“You know everything about me, Jase. I’ve held nothing back from you. You know my favorite color is green, and I drink monk fruit instead of sugar in my coffee. I play the violin when I’m upset or happy, you know that I love Halloween, but I get sad at Christmas. Jase, I even told you what my mother’s boyfriend did to me when I was eight-years-old. You are the only one that knows that.”
He sat up, his expression almost as stunned as I’d felt earlier. “You’re crying.” His fingers brushed at my tears with trembling fingers.
“Yeah, I know.”
His pained, helpless expression tugged at my heart and made the tears fall faster. “Cori.” He kissed my forehead tenderly. “Whatever it is, I can help you.”
Tell me what you’re hiding! For the first time ever, I lied to Jase. I wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say. “It’s nothing. I’m probably about to start my period.” I smirked.
I’d never seen Jase truly scared, but he was now. He glanced down between our naked bodies, swallowing hard, his voice raspy. “Did I hurt you?”
Okay, now I felt guilty as hell. “No, Jase. I’m just venting. Ignore my overly emotional psycho babbling until the hormones stop playing ping pong,” I told him with a smile.
He wasn’t buying it. “Do you need your violin?”
My heart twisted that he’d know to ask that. Not trusting myself to speak for fear I’d start crying again, I nodded.
He tossed the covers back and got out of bed still gloriously naked from the last time we’d made love. Pulling on his jeans, he went to get my violin out of his truck.
“Thanks,” I said when he handed me the instrument.
He whispered my name, and his eyes locked with mine. For several heartbeats we stared silently into each other’s eyes. Jase broke the silence. “In all the time I’ve known you, not once have I seen you cry.” I heard in his voice what he didn’t say aloud, that he didn’t believe me, but he wasn’t going to push it.
We were both lying to each other. Jase couldn’t tell me about his past, and I couldn’t tell him I loved him.
Picking up the violin, I played, pouring my heart out into the notes that bled from my soul.
Jase
Something was wrong with Cori.
I’d do anything to take away the sadness in her eyes and see her make some wise-ass remark, throw back her head and laugh like she did so often. Cori was always smiling or laughing about something. She was one of those rare people whose energy was bright and infectious, and everyone was drawn to her.
Ellie had once said that every person had their own color, a unique shade that was as much a part of them as a fingerprint, and she’d said that Cora’s color was the brightest in the rainbow. It was true. I’d always known she was special, even before we were friends, before she’d become such an important part of my life.
It had only taken a few days with my parents to take away Cori’s easy smile, the one that I had always taken for granted. As I got dressed for another fancy, meaningless dinner with my parents, I replayed the last few days, trying to figure out what I’d done wrong. My parents had insulted her and Brianne was responsible for Cori’s black hair, but my gut said that something more was upsetting Cori.
I’d taken her virginity. If she regretted what we’d done, it would kill me because there wasn’t a moment I’d ever spent with Cori that I would want to take back. I’d been shocked as hell when she’d first suggested that we start having sex, but now I don’t know how we’d lasted as long as we did without it happening. I liked sex, and there’s no one I’d rather have it with than Cori.
The first time we’d done it I’d been terrified of hurting her. I’d never come so hard in my life as I did with Cori, and I loved every single moment of it. I’m sure that I was ruined for any other woman, because the kind of orgasm I experienced with Cori wasn’t something that happened often. I’d only felt that with her.
If I didn’t find a way to fix whatever was wrong with Cori, I was desperate enough to call Ellie or Isabelle. I’d even ask Amber for advice if it meant helping Cori. It didn’t matter that all three of these women would want to castrate me if they thought I’d hurt their friend, I’d still call them if Cori wasn’t better tomorrow.
I tapped on her door, more nervous than I’d ever been in my life. This afternoon she and Lucy had gone to a color specialist to try to fix her hair, and I was praying, for her sake, it helped.
The door opened and Cori stood there looking beautiful in a simp
le black dress that showed off her sexy legs and heels that I immediately thought of wrapped around my waist. I swallowed and lifted my gaze to her still very dark hair, which was tumbled down her back in loose curls.
“The stylist said that my hair should be gradually lightened.” She smiled, seeming okay with that. “I would ask you what you think, but the look on your face says it all.”
I cleared my throat. “You’re beautiful, like always. I just don’t want you to be upset.”
“I’m not.” She poked her head out in the hall, glanced both ways, and then pulled me into her room. “I’m sorry about last night.” Her eyes sparkled. “Are those for me or your other girlfriend?” she laughed.
“They’re for you,” I replied needlessly. She reached for the fresh-cut lilies, sniffing them. “I also picked up these on the beach.” At the time, I’d been desperate to make her smile, but when I showed her the assorted shells and sea glass I felt ridiculous. I knew how much she loved to make magnets and I thought these shells would be something she’d like.
Her eyes lit with delight as she looked down at the glass and shells. “I love them! Jase, they’re perfect.”
It was the first genuine smile I’d seen in a while. When she threw her arms around me, I felt like a king. “I’m glad you like them.”
She pulled away enough to peer up at me. Seeing the joy on her face, my heart slammed against my chest. “I’m sorry I scared you last night. I won’t do it again.”
“Cori, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Then forget I broke down and cried like a baby in front of you.” Her lips curled upward, and she smiled like everything was fine.
“You’ve never cried before.”
She laughed. “I have, just not in front of you or anyone. I’ll remember to save the tears for the pillow,” she said with a smile.
This made my chest ache. “You cry like that a lot?”
Her eyes lifted to mine. “Not a lot. But sometimes.”
My heart bled her pain. “You don’t have to hide it from me. If something is hurting you, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“Sometimes I don’t need help, just to vent.”
“Vent to me. I’ll listen and hold you if you need me to.”
“Jase,” she said quietly, a soft look in her eyes. Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to my cheek. “Thank you for reminding me why you’re one of my best friends.”
For the first time since last night, I relaxed, feeling some of the tension ease. Cori was happy. I smiled, pulling her against my chest and sliding my hands through her silky curls. Taking a deep breath, the delectable scent of sugar cookies teased my senses.
Damn, she was sweet. I couldn’t hold her close enough. “I love you.” I stiffened, shocked at the words that had escaped.
She glanced up at me with serene smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Don’t worry, Jase. I know what you mean.”
I guess it was good that one of us did. I swallowed back the knot of emotion in my throat, wishing like hell she’d explain it to me.
Chapter 19
Cora
After crying all over Jase last night, I’d made a miraculous recovery and was once again the strong, independent, sassy chick that didn’t stay down for long. Not only was I ready to face my problems I was prepared to tackle them like a three-hundred-pound linebacker.
In order to do that I was going to have to stop trying to fix things I had no control over. One plus one would always be two, and there was no point in trying to change that. Olivia and Jase were never going to love me the way I wanted them to, and I was only going to get hurt if I didn’t accept that.
I called Olivia. If she refused to get help, I would not let her drag me down with her, but I had to try one last time. She was my mother. Her voice mail picked up and I left a short message.
Jase was more complicated because he’d unknowingly broke my heart and kept crushing the pieces because of his lack of trust. If I wanted to stay friends with him I’d have accept what he gave me and learn not to want more from him. It wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t want to lose him.
His I love you was a surprise, but I wasn’t overthinking it. Of course he loved me, just like he loved his sister. Sometimes I got the feeling he felt more, but that was probably wishful thinking.
At the moment I was sitting at a long, elegant table with Jase’s family and Brianne and her family. I would have been uncomfortable if Jase hadn’t been rubbing his leg against mine under the table, distracting me from the increasing tension at dinner.
Beverly was staring at me as if she knew how much I really paid on sale for my dress. Douglas Ford was pointedly ignoring me as if I wasn’t worth the trouble. Brianne was sending me looks that made me wonder if she had a voodoo doll with my name on it hidden on her lap, and Lucy kept smiling sympathetically at me.
Jase was quiet for the most part, but I knew without a doubt that if anyone dared say a word against me that would change. As if determined to stir the pot or maybe to liven up the boring dinner conversation, Brianne’s mother directed her cool gaze on me and asked, “Have the two of you set a wedding date, Corinne.”
“Her name is Coraline,” Jase corrected easily, turning to me. “I’ve been trying to pin her down with a date for weeks now, but we haven’t made any permanent decisions.”
Brianne’s mother’s eyes lit with interest. “I see. It is always best not to make any permanent decisions until you’re certain.”
“Oh, I certainly agree,” Beverly chimed in. “I’m delighted that you’ve decided to rethink your engagement.”
“I didn’t say we were rethinking it. What I said was we haven’t decided when and where we’ll marry, but Cori and I will get married.”
My heart lurched at the words. Jase and I would never marry, and I was surprised at how much that hurt me.
“You won’t receive a penny from us if you refuse to listen to reason. You’re mother and I will not support you in this.” Douglas glared at me. “Keep that in mind young lady.”
I felt Jase’s anger and spoke quickly, hoping to diffuse what threatened to be an explosive situation. “Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Ford. You’ll be pleased to know that we don’t need your money.” I was proud that I managed to keep my voice even and calm.
Douglas looked irate. “The only one you’re fooling is my son. Everyone else here knows you’re after his money.”
“Not everyone,” Charlie said lifting his drink in salute to me.
“That’s right, not everyone,” Lucy added with a bright smile.
“You should support your brother.” Douglas’ fist slammed down on the table. “This little trailer trash is going to drain his bank account and he’s going to end up hurt again, and this time he might not survive it!” His eyes flashed with emotion, and his tirade set off a storm of reactions that affected the entire room.
Brianne and her mother gasped.
Beverly’s hand flew to her chest.
Charlie and Lucy were casting anxious looks toward their brother.
Jase calmly took a drink of his wine. His expression was a mixture of boredom and irritation. His eyes locked with mine, and I thought I read an apology in their green depths.
“Everyone in this family is afraid to bring it up for fear of upsetting him,” Douglas snapped. “What the hell do you all think is going to happen when she leaves him? What if no one is there to stop him this time?”
Jase’s gaze snapped to Brianne’s.
My heart pounded. Something was going on that I didn’t understand, something he wouldn’t tell me.
“He loved Brianne so much he tried to kill himself when she left him, did you know that?” Douglas shouted at me.
The tension in the room escalated to a trembling crescendo as everyone reacted to Douglas Ford’s startling revelation.
Jase tossed his napkin on the table and took my hand. “I appreciate the concern for my welfare, Dad, if that’s what toni
ght has been about, but I’ve had enough.”
“Not talking about it hasn’t helped this family heal. Are you afraid of the truth, Cora?” Douglas prodded.
My gaze locked with Douglas. I couldn’t believe he would do this to his son in front of company. Before I could think of how to answer, Jase’s deep voiced pulled my attention to him and I saw the knowing look in his eyes.
“That’s what you wanted me to tell you last night.” His voice was low, certain, and maybe a little disappointed.
I swallowed the knot of emotion as Jase’s gaze flicked to his wrist then back at me. “Answer me Cori,” he said softly.
“I’m not afraid of the truth, Jase.” My eyes didn’t waver from his.
“You know me better than anyone here. Do you believe what my dad said?” Jase spoke only to me, as if we were the only two people in the room. I saw the flash of pain, the glow of strength and the hope in his eyes. My answer was important to him, and I had to give him the right one.
“I know you didn’t try to take your own life.” Gasps and whispers punctuated my comment, but I focused only on Jase. “I just wanted you to tell me what happened that night. Why have you let your family think that?”
It was Brianne that answered. “Jase,” she cried frantically, a pleading look in her eyes.
Whatever had happened that night, Brianne knew about it. That hurt me almost as much as Jase’s refusal to trust me. She might be crazy, but I was crazy-jealous of her.
Surprisingly, Jase’s apologetic gaze locked with Brianne’s a second before he turned back to me. “Not here,” he told me.
What the hell was going on? His family deserved to know the truth as well, but Jase seemed determined for me to leave with him.
Brianne leapt from her chair so quickly that it fell over, and she stepped in front of Jase and I, blocking our exit. “You can’t leave with her!” she cried, grabbing his arm. “She can’t be trusted. Don’t tell her anything!”
“What’s the meaning of this?” Brianne’s dad interjected, while her mother began to cry.
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