“M-Mia…” He struggled to push his voice past the grip of her fingers, but it was damn hard. Sucking in very little air, he gasped and sputtered, desperately trying to pry her hands away. “D-don’t…”
“I’m not doing this because I hate you or anything. I really don’t. I don’t even hate Jeb’s sister.” She sniffled and laughed, shaking her head. “I just hate that you’ve ruined my plans. I worked hard on this scheme. Months went into this.” She squeezed harder, harder. “I was almost free. My dream was so close to coming true. But you had to screw it up, didn’t you? And for what? A girl? Her?”
“M…”
“I just want you to die, okay? That’s all I need. Just give up and die.”
His lungs felt like they were about to burst and his mind fogged over as he desperately fought his way back to one of the best memories he had.
Laney.
“Give in.” Mia cooed like a mother rocking her child to sleep. “It’s okay.”
Laney. His fingers weakened around her wrists and the pain he’d been ignoring for at least an hour began to fade away.
Everything was disappearing and there was no way he could hold on.
I’m sorry, Laney.
I’m sorry, Ags.
I’m sorry, Lydia.
His heartbeat was slow and thunderous in his ears.
His fingers were cold and tingly.
His heart was breaking.
His hope was fading.
Mia’s fingers crushed his esophagus and her face began to blur as he fought to stay conscious.
“Shhh. Just go to sleep. It’s almost over.”
I’m so sorry, Laney. Please forgive me for not being man enough to save you.
Man enough.
That’s all he’d ever wanted. That’s all he’d ever truly known.
Brave enough.
Didn’t that come with the territory of being a man?
Strong enough.
He wasn’t. Maybe he never had been. There was a good chance he’d been fooling himself all along.
Laney deserved better. She deserved a real man, not a fraud.
I love you, Laney.
Heart enough.
Yeah, he had the heart. He had so much heart and it all belonged to Elaine McIntosh. He’d never loved anyone like that before in his entire life and he never would again.
It’s over. It’s all gone.
A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye and he allowed his heavy eyelid to close. Surely to God it wouldn’t be much longer now…
Laney, I—
A sickening crunch noise followed by Mia’s agonized cry caught his attention and her death grip on him suddenly vanished. His good eye snapped open and he gasped, sucking as much air into his lungs as he could. It seemed like all the blood in his body rushed into his head at once and he became dizzyingly nauseous.
Sitting upright, his hand flew to his throat and he glanced down at the ground to see Mia lying there, motionless. She’d been knocked unconscious.
“Are you okay?”
Lifting his head and peering up at the figure towering over him, Benji’s mouth fell open.
It was Devin.
With a tree limb.
And concern for his well being.
What the hell?
Chapter 17
Laney
She was lost in a world she had long since forgotten. It was a memory that had somehow been buried beneath countless dark memories—as most good memories were when a person experienced something terrible.
Yet there she was, only six years old, perched on the bottom step of her Gran’s house in the middle of the country with nothing but warm sunlight and the sweet melody of birds to keep her company.
“Laney, it’s almost time to come in for lunch.” Gran called from the open kitchen window. “Get your brothers for me?”
“Yes, Gran!”
Laney watched as the younger version of herself darted off the steps and hurried around the house. She knew where she was going—it was a path Laney had walked many times as a child. Little Laney was headed to the ‘fort’.
The ‘fort’ wasn’t as majestic as it sounded. It was simply a few trees stacked together to make a pitiful igloo. The three of them had had so much fun there as children.
She couldn’t help but smile at the thought, following her younger self as quickly as she could.
“Jebson!” She called out in the thickest hickabilly accent known to man. “Johnny! It’s almost time to eat. Gran says y’all gotta come in.”
“No girls allowed!” Jebson, barely even five years old, declared as he poked his head out the entrance of their fort. “Go away, girl!”
“Nope.” Little Laney crossed her arms over her chest and stomped a tiny foot against the ground. “Don’t make me go get Gran, Jeb. She’ll whoop you.”
Jeb scowled, wrinkling his little freckled nose.
Laney had almost forgotten how cute her little brother had once been.
“We’re a’coming, Laney. Gosh.” Johnny said as he pushed Jeb forward and stepped out of the fort. His dark hair was a mess of curls and twigs and his overalls were dirty. They had obviously been playing up a storm. “Don’t go getting all bossy about it. I hate that.”
“I ain’t getting bossy!” Little Laney was offended. “And what’s that on your mouth? Did you get into Gran’s lipstick?”
Johnny dropped his head in shame and kicked at the ground with the toe of his shoe.
“Oh.” Laney whispered. She leaned against the tree and watched her younger self stomp up to Johnny.
It was only then she realized what memory she’d slipped into.
“Kids! Where are you?”
Upon hearing the voice of her mother, Laney swallowed hard.
“Coming, Mama!” Jeb said excitedly, darting past her and disappearing into the trees.
As her pulse quickened, she slowly turned around just in time to see her younger self wipe at Johnny’s mouth frantically with her hand.
“You ain’t supposed to do that.” She whispered, wiping the pink color off his lips. “You’re a boy.”
“I know, but it’s pretty. I like it.”
“But you ain’t supposed to like it. Lipstick is for girls—not boys.”
“But I ain’t suppose to be a boy.” He whispered softly, his eyes never leaving hers. “I think I got stuck in the wrong body, Laney.”
“What do you mean?” Little Laney crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You was borned a boy!”
Oh, thank God her speech had gotten better since then. Laney stepped closer, listening intently to the conversation between the two children; two very innocent children who had yet to be jaded by the world.
“I know what I was born as, but I don’t like it.” He reached out and tugged on the sleeve of her dress. “I want to wear what you wear.”
“You want to wear dresses?” She made a funny face and then giggled. “That’s weird, Johnny.”
“I know it is.” He dropped his head in shame and turned away from her. “Go ahead and make fun of me if you want to. Everybody at school already does.”
“I ain’t gonna make fun of you. You’re my brother.” Little Laney stomped around him and got right up in his face—her younger self never knew what boundaries were. “And who has been making fun of you? I’ll sock ‘em a good one.”
“That a girl.” Laney smiled, blinking back tears.
“Everybody.” Johnny shrugged. “Devin Rose. He’s so mean to me and I ain’t never done nothin’ to deserve that.”
“Devin Rose.” She pretended to throw up. “Yuck! He’s just a big ole bully, Johnny. Ignore him.”
“It’s hard to, Laney. It seems he likes going out of his way to hurt my feelings.”
“Well, I’ll hurt his!” She insisted. “Nobody messes with my brother.”
Laney felt something squeeze at her heart as her younger self embraced Little Johnny and they hugged.
“Do you mind that I might want to be a girl instead of a boy, Laney?”
“Well, I don’t think so.”
“Are you sure?”
“Uh huh. I think so.”
“I love you, Laney.”
“I love you, Johnny. But you gotta be careful with that makeup. Daddy and Mommy won’t like it.”
“I know.” Johnny was sad. His shoulders slumped and he turned to walk back towards their grandmother’s house. “But I can’t help it, I don’t think.”
“Well, I don’t think we can help a lot of things.” Little Laney responded thoughtfully as she followed him back to the house, side by side.
Laney followed after them, wishing she could hug the little boy who would one day grow up to be such a beautiful woman. She wished she could tell him everything would be okay one day, he just had to be brave.
“I’ll take care of you, Johnny.” Little Laney promised as she took hold of his hand. “Same blood.”
“Same blood.” Johnny nodded in affirmation. “We’ll take care of each other.”
Tears were streaming down her face as the two tiny figures began to shimmer and eventually faded away, leaving her alone with nothing but the company of darkness.
Why was it so dark? Where was she?
“Please wake up. You have to wake up.”
The voice of a man echoed all around her and she suddenly felt cold.
“Come on. You’re worrying me.”
Who did that voice belong to? She knew that voice.
“Wake up. Please.”
Her entire body was freezing and it was the chattering of her teeth that finally caused her eyes to snap open.
A blurry face was the first thing she saw, but there was only one name on her mind at that very moment.
“Benji!” She sat up and immediately regretted it. Grasping the side of her head, she winced. “Ow…”
“Take it easy, Miss.” A gentle hand touched her elbow. It must have been the EMTs. They were finally on the scene and the nightmare was over. “You’re bleeding.”
“Yeah, that’s not new.” She blinked rapidly in an effort to clear her vision. “Where’s Benji?”
“He’s right here. He’s talking to a 9-1-1 dispatcher. I’m afraid you’ve been in a terrible accident.”
“Uh huh.” She groaned and carefully cupped her nose. It throbbed like no tomorrow. “She must have hit me with her elbow. That bitch.”
“It’s swollen. It might be broken, but we won’t know until the doctors can check you over. Here, let me see?”
“Just be careful.” She pleaded, squeezing her eyes shut and gasping as cold fingers felt around the tender flesh surrounding her nose.
“I can’t really tell.” The paramedic murmured. “We’ll just have to wait, Miss. Do you feel dizzy?”
“A little.” Her eyes opened and her vision finally returned to normal. “Is Benji all r—whoa! What the hell?” It was Devin’s face she was greeted by, not an EMT. Instinct took over and she shoved him back, once again regretting her decision as hot pain shot up her arm. “Fucking…ow!”
“Hey now—what’s wrong with you? Is your arm hurt? Did I accidentally touch it?” Devin questioned with wide eyes.
“Don’t touch me.” Anger overcame her as she swatted his shoulder with her good hand. “This is all your fault, you dick. I hope you rot under the jail!”
“W-what? Why?” He looked hurt and confused as he rubbed his shoulder and frowned. “What did I do to you? I was only trying to help.”
“You call this help?” She released a fake laugh of amusement. “Wow. If that’s what you call help then I sure as hell don’t want any. Get away from me, Devin.”
“Devin?” He rubbed the back of his neck and blinked.
“Yeah. Or did you suddenly forget your name?”
“I…” He was quiet for a moment and then he released a defeated sigh, his expression somber as he nodded. “I did. I think I really did.”
“Very funny, Devin. Stop screwing with me. You’ve done enough of that tonight. I just want to go home and you—oh, you’re completely fucked. I hope Callum’s family buries you for what you’ve done. You and your girlfriend deserve to be behind bars for the rest of your pathetic lives.”
“G-girlfriend?” Devin’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he gazed at her and if she didn’t know any better, she would have thought he was being completely sincere. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Are…you are you talking about her?” He motioned behind her.
Slowly turning her head, Laney’s eyes fell upon Mia, unconscious and hogtied. “What happened to her?”
“I hit her in the head with a branch.”
“You what?”
“She was trying to hurt your friend, ah, what’s his name?”
“Benji.”
“Right. She was trying to hurt him and it’s all I could get my hands on, so I hit her as hard as I could.” He frowned. “She’s not dead, by the way. I would n-never kill anybody.”
She stared at him in stunned silence and tilted her head to the side, studying him.
He saved Benji from Mia?
Well, he was being unusually kind to her, and he definitely didn’t act like the guy she’d known for years. Was it really possible?
It couldn’t be…
“Oh my god. You really don’t remember who you are, do you?”
“I don’t.” Devin raked his fingers through his hair and stopped when he found something. She could only presume he was sporting a nasty cut, just like the rest of them. “Was I in the car with you and Benji?”
“You both were.” Her eyes roamed back to Mia and anger burned through her veins. Never had she hated anyone so much.
“And…you think she is my girlfriend? Why would I date someone who hurts other people?”
“Oh my god.” Her breath escaped her lungs in an annoyed sigh and she bowed her head. What on earth was she supposed to do with him? She didn’t even want to do anything. Devin deserved whatever was coming to him, memory intact or not.
But maybe he really doesn’t remember anything. She thought. Or he’s just a really good actor.
She stood up and stared down at the very confused man kneeling in the grass. He looked like Devin. He talked like Devin. But he sure as hell didn’t act like Devin—not the Devin she knew. Maybe his memory really was gone. Maybe he genuinely needed help.
He saved Benji.
“Stay right here for a minute. Okay?”
“Where are you going?” His voice became shrill with panic.
“Whoa, easy there. I’m just going to talk to Benji.”
“Who?”
“My…” Her face heated up. “My friend. The one you saved from that psychotic heffer.”
“Oh. Oh, of course. Right.” Devin nodded slowly and touched his fingers to the side of his head again. “Benji. Right. I’ll just wait here. I probably shouldn’t move.”
“Probably not.” Her eyebrows pinched together. “Just stay put and I’ll get Benji.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Ma’am?
She decided there were more pressing matters at hand and quickly made her way to Benji. He had his back to her and was still on the phone with the emergency dispatcher.
“Look, lady. I don’t know where the hell I am. Are you sure you can’t just activate the GPS and find us that way?
“GPS?” She echoed. He turned around upon hearing her voice and she gasped from the sight of him. His beautiful eye was in worse shape than before. It was swollen ten times bigger than she remembered and the angry purple bruise surrounding it made her stomach churn.
He had gotten hurt over her, and she knew deep down in her heart it was unforgivable.
“Benji…”
He lifted a finger in her direction and then the corners of his lips quirked into a smile. “Just a second, babe.”
A small twinge of rejection made itself known in her chest and her shoulders dropped as he turned away from her and c
ontinued his conversation with the operator.
Oh, god. He hates me now.
Could she blame him for that? He hadn’t expected the night to turn out so crazy—neither had she. She couldn’t possibly expect him to want to be with her after everything that had happened.
But he said he loved me. Tears pricked at her eyes and she quickly knuckled them away, sniffling as her arm began to hurt again.
It was funny how no amount of physical pain would ever hurt as much as what she felt in her heart.
She knew she had to take a lot of things into consideration after all was said and done. Benji may have only said he loved her because he thought he was going to die, or maybe he said it to make her feel better.
There was so much about her he still didn’t know, but would any of it matter now? What if the only thing he could think of when looking at her was taking the beating of a lifetime he’d received from her crazy ex-boyfriend?
How could he possibly be happy with her when the strongest memory they had of being together involved a ruthless fist, kidnapping, ransom, and a car crash?
Her heart broke as she limped back to where Devin was, and as much as she wanted to hate him and scream at him for ruining everything, she couldn’t.
The way he lifted his head and gazed at her, so lost and scared, told her it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. Confronting him was useless if he couldn’t remember what he had done wrong.
“Help is coming, right?” His voice was unusually soft and gentle. “The ambulance…I can hear the siren. Do you hear the siren?”
“I hear the car alarm.”
“Oh.”
She hugged her arm around her body and cradled her injured one to the best of her ability, a million thoughts running through her mind.
And almost all of them were about Benji.
“What’s your name?”
She could have lied. She should have lied, but the truth was, she wanted Devin to get his memory back just so she could tear into him. She desperately needed to unleash her frustration and no one was more deserving.
“Laney.” She stared at him, waiting for a spark of recognition. Surely her name would sound familiar, wouldn’t it?
90 Days (Prairie Town Book 2) Page 22