by Bernie Mac
MAN: Hey, hey, hey! Your broke tooth is cutting it! It’s it’s jagged!
WOMAN: Don’t tell me how to suck a cock. I know what I’m doing!
MAN: I’m just saying, you’re cutting it. It’s tender!
Now if a woman tells you “right there,” she means, right there and don’t move. And your back be hurting like a sumbitch, don’t it? You be saying to yourself, “I’ll be glad when this sumbitch come!” Oral sex is the same way. She saying, “Ooooh! Ooooh!” “Oooh” make me sick. “Ooooh” means you gon’ be licking for four more hours.
I was over my brother’s house the other day, and my nephew came in. Me and my brother are playing pool, and he says, “Daddy what’s the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?”
My brother, he’s kinda slow, too. He says, “They basically mean the same thing, but sometimes they’re different, sometimes. For example,” he said, “go upstairs and ask your mother if she would make love to the mailman for $250,000.”
My nephew went upstairs and came back and said, “Daddy, Mama said she’d make love to the mailman, the milk man, and any other man for $250,000.”
My brother said, “Go downstairs and ask your sister if would she make love to the next door neighbor for $250,000.”
He ran downstairs and came back three minutes later. He said, “Daddy, she said she would make love to the next door neighbor and the whole neighborhood in the next block for $250,000.”
My brother looked at me. I looked at him. He said, “Son, sit down. See, son, hypothetically speaking, we should have half a million dollars.” He said, “But realistically speaking son, we live with two hoes!”