Archer hadn’t let her out of his sight for the next twenty-four hours. Peter had given him a hard time earlier for wandering back into the house every thirty minutes to check on her despite them having a security team manning the house’s gate and perimeter. Even now, his gaze kept moving back to her as though reassuring himself she wasn’t going anywhere.
Yes, he should have been on top of the world. Instead, he lived every day in fear of losing what he loved most.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Sage picked up his Apple TV remote as the movie that he and Kaila were watching came to an end. He flipped back to the main menu rather than watch the credits.
Beside him, Kaila stirred. She had leaned against him for most of the movie. He thought she might have even fallen asleep. The loss of her body heat as she sat up made the room feel cool.
“Want to watch something else?” he asked.
She lifted her arms in a stretch. “Nah. We’ve been lazy vegetables all afternoon. We need to do something more active to balance it out.”
“Okay,” he said, powering off the TV. “What did you have in mind?”
She got to her feet and held out a hand to assist him up. “There’s certainly one thing I know that gets the heart pumping,” she said, moving closer to him with a look he recognized quite well.
Instinct had him nearly stepping back. He made himself stay put. This was Kaila, he reminded himself. She’d been patient with him over the past three weeks, honoring his request that they take things slow. This was the first attempt she’d made towards true intimacy.
It was just a kiss, he thought as she reached up and touched his cheek. They’d kissed hundreds of times.
She leaned forward. He should have moved forward to meet her. His body stayed rooted in place. He watched as she advanced, trying to stay focused only on her.
Their lips touched. He closed his eyes.
He brought forth his feelings for Kaila, the feelings that had driven him to issue her an ultimatum so they could have a committed future together. His mind tried to connect that emotion with this moment.
The kiss was soft, tender. When he didn’t respond or pull away, she brushed her lips against his again, pressing her body closer.
He should have felt the urge to deepen the kiss.
He shouldn’t have felt this agonizing ache in his chest.
Kaila eased back from him, slowly opening her eyes. Whatever she read when she looked at him had her lowering her hand from his face and stepping back. She couldn’t hide her disappointment.
“Plan B then,” she said with forced cheer. “You’ve been home for three weeks and that stack of luggage is still sitting in your study. It’s gotten to the point of ridiculous.”
“Kaila...” he began.
“Come on, lazy bones,” she said, grabbing his hand.
He’d been avoiding unpacking. He had known it would bring up too many memories of the tour.
Of Rosemary.
Going through everything now with Kaila seemed like a terrible idea, but after how things had just gone with the kiss he didn’t have it in him to deny her again. He followed her to the entryway and grabbed a couple of his suitcases as she did the same. It took them two trips to haul everything to his bedroom where most of the stuff would end up.
“How have you avoided this for so long?” she asked, opening his first suitcase full of clothing. “I’m amazed you haven’t had to go naked.”
“I’ve got separate clothes for around the house,” he said.
It occurred to him, not for the first time, that she really should have known that much about his life. He’d always had separate clothing and personal care items for touring. It was only practical.
“Okay. Let’s get this sorted,” she said, starting to toss his clothes into separate piles on the floor. “I’ll start a load of laundry for you.”
He had someone who came in once a week to handle laundry and housekeeping, which Kaila knew. He didn’t bother reminding her. If she wanted to help him by starting a load of laundry, there was no harm in letting her.
Maybe it would help distract both of them from what had just happened.
“At least you’ll be familiar with packing for long trips if you end up coming to Wyoming with me,” she said.
It was a not-so-subtle reminder that he still hadn’t agreed to go. He’d explained that he didn’t yet know what his filming obligations might be for House of Archer now that the tour was over, nor had Christopher finalized the band’s media appearances during the time he’d be gone. He figured he had maybe another week before he’d have to give her his decision.
“Very true,” he said, unzipping the suitcase in front of him.
“I’ve wondered whether rock stars have stylists in their entourages,” Kaila said, holding up one of his vests before adding it to a pile of dry-clean only items.
He shrugged. “Many do.”
“Why doesn’t The Void?”
Tossing a pair of khakis into another pile, he said, “Elle will take advantage of using one if Christopher can work it into the rider for a show. We decided not to keep anyone on staff for that when we first started since we were watching the bottom line. Now I guess we’re all just used to styling ourselves.”
“Ah. So Lily doesn’t use one?”
He found the question peculiar. Kaila barely knew Lily. It told him just how much she wanted to throw topics out there just to converse with him.
“No,” he answered. “Her friend Aria is a model. I think she gave Lily some fashion pointers. Lily is more of a casual-wear kind of girl in real life.”
“Seriously?” Kaila shook her head. “I never would have guessed it judging by the show. She’s always wearing something designer.”
Sage hadn’t realized that. The only reason Lily would wear designer clothes would be to play up her image as a gold digger who was only after Archer’s money. He hadn’t told Kaila that most of the show was staged. In truth, after how she had been nudged by Elijah to walk in on him and Rosemary, he figured she’d already guessed it.
“You definitely can’t take the show at face value,” he said.
He took out the next few pieces of clothing from the case he was unpacking. One of them was the shirt he’d worn on his last night with Rosemary. He caught a trace of her scent, sweet with a hint of spice like a secret moonlit garden, as he pulled it out of the suitcase.
“Is everything okay?”
He looked up to find Kaila staring at him. He supposed he must have made a sound or movement to catch her attention.
“Everything’s fine,” he lied. “Why?”
“You’ve gone a little pale. Do you need to sit down?”
“No, I’m good. Probably just hungry.”
“Okay.” She continued to study him as he tossed the clothes on the floor and blindly reached for more. “I’ll whip something up after I start a load. We can knock this out quick enough.”
“Sure.”
He swore he could still detect Rosemary’s scent in the air as he started grabbing clothes and sorting them with more speed just to get the task done. With every breath, his chest grew tighter and tighter until he felt like his heart was trapped by a spiked metal band.
God, why was this so hard?
Kaila gave him another look that told him she suspected where his thoughts had gone. She had always been perceptive, especially when it came to him.
Maybe this sorting of his luggage from the tour was her way of helping him move on. She had probably guessed why he was putting it off and hoped that once this chore was done he might fully look to the future rather than dwell on the past.
“Last one,” she said as she hefted one more suitcase onto the bed from the floor and unzipped it. “Looks like toiletries and electronics rather than clothes.”
He set aside the suitcase he’d just emptied and picked up the small pack of toiletries that Kaila had pulled out of the case she was unpacking. He headed to the attached master bathroom and s
tored the entire pack in its usual place on a shelf in the linen closet.
When he walked back out to the bedroom, he noticed Kaila holding something colorful...something an eye-catching shade of red.
“What’s that?” he asked as he got closer to her.
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” she said. “It looks like an origami rose.”
The words instantly sent his heart racing.
Origami rose.
He couldn’t take his gaze off of it. “How did it get in there?”
Kaila fiddled with the paper flower for a moment before holding it out to him. “I think Rosemary put it in there before she left Vegas,” she said. “I saw her exiting the tour bus the morning after...well, it seemed odd at the time.”
He took the flower. “You saw her?”
He fought the impulse to ask if Rosemary had mentioned him. He wasn’t in the sixth grade gossiping with his friends. Kaila was clearly feeling awkward enough about this as it was. When he looked up, he saw that her eyes had gotten misty.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “Did Rose—did she say something to upset you?”
Kaila shook her head, looking away from him. “No. Actually, when I asked her to, she promised me she’d give us some space and allow us to reconnect with each other.”
The spiked band gave his heart a hard squeeze. “She did?”
She nodded and pressed a fingertip to the inside of her eye.
“Is it the rose, then?” he asked. “Because I could...I could get rid of it.”
She shook her head. “I just need a minute.”
He didn’t stop her when she retreated to the bathroom. His shoulders slumped, knowing he was somehow the cause of her pain even though he’d had no inkling the gift from Rosemary was sitting in his luggage this entire time. He acknowledged some relief, as well, for he wasn’t sure he could have honored his offer to destroy the gift.
Since he was alone, he took a moment to really study the flower. Even though the unexpected appearance of it had him reeling, he could appreciate its beauty and the complexity of the design. The bold coloring of the paper blossom started as golden yellow on the inside and bloomed into the vibrant red.
What did the rose and the coloring mean? It had to be significant. Every origami gift Rosemary had given him had been made with careful attention to such things.
He turned it over in search of her initials. They weren’t anywhere immediately obvious. Frowning, he gently lifted each of the petals until he found her flowing script along one of the yellow petals near the center. He realized she hadn’t only marked the flower with her initials.
It read, I love you, Rose.
The words had him dropping the flower. He barely registered when Kaila returned from the bathroom.
“Sage, you’ve gone chalky,” she said, turning him so he faced her. “Are you all right?”
No, he wasn’t all right. None of this was all right.
Rosemary loved him?
“Please tell me what’s wrong,” she urged.
When he didn’t immediately respond, she picked up the rose and started inspecting it. He made a grab for it. She pulled it from his reach. It only took her a couple of seconds to see where he’d lifted the petal containing Rosemary’s message.
“She loves me,” he said dully when she looked at him with red-rimmed eyes.
“She may think—”
“She loves me,” he repeated with more volume. “She loves me and I’ve left her without a word from me. I left her without telling her how much I appreciated everything she did for me, how much I appreciated her friendship. I left her.”
“She was giving us time—”
“Because she loves me,” he said, thumping his hand against his chest to punctuate the statement. “She’s suffering because of me.”
And it struck him then how he’d done the same thing to Rosemary that Kaila had done to him. He’d left her heart bleeding while he went on living his life with someone else.
“You’re not responsible for how someone else feels, Sage,” Kaila said.
“Is that what you told yourself all of those years when you dated other people?”
She flinched. “That’s not fair. We discussed our relationship extensively and agreed on seeing other people. You’re the one who chose not to.”
He swallowed the bitter anger that wanted to surge from him. Any resentment over decisions from years ago had no place here. His anger at himself for what he’d done to Rosemary, however, deserved to burn in his gut for a long time.
“I can’t just tell myself it’s Rosemary’s problem that she loves me,” he said. “You’re asking me to be someone I’m not. She was my friend first. She deserves better than this.”
Kaila sank down onto the bed. “Damn it. You’re right.”
“What?”
She sighed. “You’re right, Sage. She does deserve better.”
He stared at her, unable to reply.
“You want to know why I was so upset a few minutes ago?” she asked.
He nodded.
“It was because I’ve been waiting for three weeks to see the smile that came across your face the moment you saw this and realized what it was...who it had come from.”
He hadn’t even realized he’d been smiling. “I’m sorry, K.”
“I know you are. It’s because you’re such a terrific guy.” She gave him a sad smile. “You’re right. It’s not okay to treat friends like this. Keeping you from talking to Rosemary was entirely selfish. I should have had enough self-confidence and trust in you to believe you’d remain committed to me even though she was a part of your life. My decision to keep you from her was hurtful to you both. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
Once again, he was speechless. All that registered in his mind was that Kaila was giving him clearance to reach out to Rosemary.
Finally.
When he could form the words, he asked, “Do you think she’ll even speak to me now?”
The idea that she might not tore what was left of his heart into tiny pieces.
“I don’t know,” she said. “But I know you have to try. We won’t be able to move forward until you do.”
He knew what this was costing her. And he hated himself for it.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
“I am too. Now go before I change my mind.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Office hours were nearly over for Petit Planning. That didn’t mean everyone on staff was done working for the day.
One of their part-time event coordinators was out conducting a rehearsal. Another was overseeing a dinner reception. The office manager had gone out on an emergency run to print table seating assignments for a brunch wedding taking place the following day since the bride’s printer had run out of ink.
Rosemary had no intention of leaving the office when five o’clock rolled around. She and Monique were busy creating the wedding timeline for Lily and Archer’s wedding, which involved reviewing all of the vendor contracts to make sure they had the correct start and end times, power and vendor meal requirements, and every other possible detail. Rosemary would contact each vendor personally to confirm everything before the wedding day, of course, but this would serve as the detailed rough draft.
Ines was the only other person in the office at the moment. She was sitting in the lobby at the office manager, Harriett’s, desk pulling up a file she needed for an upcoming client meeting. Rosemary and Monique were seated at the desk they shared in the upstairs loft overlooking the lobby. They couldn’t see Ines through the strategically-placed shrubbery wall in front of the desk, but they heard her muttering in French as she slogged through using Harriett’s computer. Technology wasn’t her friend.
“Okay,” Monique said, reviewing the notes Rosemary had taken while on the tour. “So no RB or FG, but four and four.”
“Right,” Rosemary confirmed.
She instantly deciphered Monique�
�s shorthand for ring bearer and flower girl, which Lily and Archer had opted not to have since there were no young children in their families. Keith, Sage, Xander, and Peter would be groomsmen and Sydney, Rosemary, Aria, and Noelle would be bridesmaids.
The decision to include Rosemary in the wedding party was a recent one and it hadn’t been entered into lightly by either sister. They both knew that if Rosemary was the only one from their family in Lily’s wedding party they were going to hear about it for the rest of their lives by Rhonda and their siblings.
The desire to avoid that drama had caused them both to decide that Noelle’s fiancée, Mandy, should be the fourth bridesmaid. That plan had worked well until Mandy was offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with one of the country’s most renowned lighting technicians on a superstar’s upcoming tour. The dates of the tour coincided with Lily’s wedding date. Mandy had felt horrible about having to back out, but Lily insisted she wouldn’t have it any other way. Mandy’s career was more important.
Rosemary had suggested the idea of having only three bridesmaids or possibly inviting another of Lily’s friends to stand up as the fourth. Lily had surprised her by saying she felt Mandy’s job offer had been a sign that she should do what she had wanted to in the first place and ask Rosemary to stand up instead.
“Being with you on the tour and working with you on the wedding reminded me of how close we once were,” Lily had said. “I’ve really missed that. I feel like we’ve rediscovered our sisterhood. This would mean a lot to me if you think you’re up to it. I would understand if you don’t think it’s a good idea, though. Rhonda is bound to make both our lives hell about it.”
As opposed to being worried about Lily’s request, Rosemary had been honored to be the one person in Lily’s family whom she wanted to stand up for her on the most significant day of her life. Monique had instantly agreed to take over the coordination on the wedding day so Rosemary could participate as an attendant. Ines hadn’t cared either way as long as Petit Planning was still involved.
This change in the wedding party had made it even more important to tag-team all of the planning with Monique. They’d been consulting about Lily’s wedding every day, usually after they’d handled all of the tasks for their other clients’ weddings.
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