Selene
I CAN FEEL HIS EYES on my face while I slowly unfold the piece of paper he passed me, so I give him a slight grin before turning my attention back to the note. Once I open the letter, I suddenly burst out laughing, causing the entire classroom to turn and look at me.
Mrs. Peterson stops mid-sentence and quickly addresses me. “Selene, is something funny?”
I can’t help the last bubble that slips past my lips before replying. “No, ma’am. I apologize.”
I hide the paper under my book so she doesn’t see it. I look over at Drake again and notice both he and Tommy are staring at me. Tommy has a smirk on his face and winks, while Drake’s smile is spread wide across his face.
I roll my eyes at both of them and slip the note from under my book. I roll my eyes as I read the words written in the most perfect print: Will You Be My Friend? Check Yes or No. I was right earlier. He would charm his way back into my good graces. I slowly take my pen and circle yes then pass the note back to Drake.
He beams at me again, and there is no doubt this boy has changed me forever. The question now is just how I’m going to handle this change, because so far I’m failing miserably.
Drake
I GOT TO HER. THE day progressed with mine and Selene’s push-and-pull relationship. When I wasn’t annoying her, which wasn’t very often, I would amuse her. It really was all I wanted to do since the first day I met her. I just wanted Selene to be happy.
She made me forget. Forget Lacey was no longer here. Forget my parents weren’t Mr. and Mrs. Brady. Forget all about the pain of the last five months and the fact life can be really fucked up sometimes.
I wander toward Lacey’s grave. I don’t typically visit her during the week, but I felt compelled to come today. It’s almost as if my car steered itself here. My parents had once again sat up in the stands, watching every play we ran, and I could feel their eyes boring into my every move. Their focus is solely on me. Of course, growing up, that was always my goal. I did whatever I could to take their focus off Lacey…to protect her. In the end, it appears they weren’t who she needed protection from.
I sit down in my usual position and lean back against the stone. “I miss you,” I whisper as I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “This isn’t my usual day to visit, but I needed to come. God, Lacey…it was a good day. I'm sorrier than you can even know for that be—” I choke on my words mid-sentence, unable to speak for a moment. “Because you deserved to have a lifetime of good days. You should have had so much more than you did.”
I let the silence comfort me before I continue. “I’m beginning to feel a little hopeful that there is more to this life than the hand we were dealt. She’s the reason. I know I don’t need to tell you who. I’m sure you sent her to me. You just couldn’t leave me in my misery…always so unselfish. The only thing you forgot about in this scenario is she deserves someone better than me.”
I feel the threat of tears. Even saying it out loud to Lacey doesn’t change the fact that no matter how wrong I think I might be for Selene, friend or something more, she has every part of me straight to my core.
I pull out a flashlight and pick up from where we left off in our romance novel. After a few sentences, I say, “You know, no matter how I’m feeling right now, this shit’s still ridiculous.”
Then I resume the story, reading well past my usual one-chapter-per-visit rule.
Selene
I TRIED CALLING MY DAD again. He didn’t answer. I guess I’m not really surprised, but I wonder if he ever intends to see or talk to me again. Losing every tie to that part of my life only makes the pain of losing Mama worse. It has been a month now since I came to live with Aunt Violette. Another month of feeling like I lost a piece of myself I’m not sure I can ever get back.
As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I think of him. Drake. He has changed so much for me. Gradually, he has torn away the wall I’ve spent years building around my heart. The wall only my mother had access to.
“No answer again, huh?” Aunt Violette’s voice startles me from my thoughts. I look over at the doorway of my room, and she is leaning against the doorjamb. Before I can answer her, she continues. It’s like she can see the answer written across my face. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She pushes herself away from the wall and begins to walk toward me.
I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to be comforted because that means his absence means something. I don’t wish to feel anything for him. Standing up from the window seat, I start busying myself by unnecessarily moving things around my room. Aunt Violette must realize I don’t want to talk about it, so she stops mid-step and changes the subject. “So how was school today?”
This is something I'm willing to discuss. “It was pretty remarkable, actually. It seems I’ve already made a friend. Her name is Emme Fleming. She seems to be super sweet and, of course, you know there’s Drake.” I try to sound nonchalant when I say his name.
“Yes, I do—know Drake,” she says, and I can hear something in her voice I can’t put my finger on. I’m not sure what to think about that, but I choose to ignore it. “I also know Emme. The Flemings are a nice family.” She says. “It’s only the second day of school, and things are going well. It’s remarkable.”
Aunt Violette sits down on the bed. Quietly, she watches me. “You know, Selene, I’ve seen a difference in you lately. Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re hurting. I understand between losing your mama and the difficult relationship with your daddy, it’s hard. I’m aware the same untrusting little girl still lurks in there. The thing is I see a difference when that boy is around…”
“No, I…” I begin to interrupt her, but she doesn’t let me.
“Let me finish, please.” She waits before continuing. “I see the difference, and while it may be tiny, I think you’re letting him in. I’ve made my thoughts clear where Drake is concerned before. I don’t want to go on and on about this, but I have to say it again. I’m happy. In fact, I’m delighted you’re letting him in, letting him be your…friend. You need that—you deserve that—and so does he.” She stands up and walks toward the door. Stopping next to me, she places her hand on my shoulder. “I love you, Selene.”
Aunt Vi is the only person other than my mother to ever say those words to me.
When she is just beyond the door, I take a deep breath, and then I hear her shout, “I love you, but it’s still your night to fix supper!”
I hear her tinkling of happiness drift through the door of my room. I suddenly feel a warm and unexpected feeling of joy. I fall back on my bed, unable to hold back a giggle of my own.
Drake
I MADE IT HOME BEFORE my parents, although I was a little late. Now we’re sitting around the table having dinner, each of them at opposite ends of our long mahogany table with me sitting alone halfway between them both.
My mind drifts to the dinner I shared with Selene and Mrs. Durham nearly a month ago. I can’t help but notice the differences. Selene and Mrs. D were cheerful and making conversation. The atmosphere of that night filled me with comfort and joy.
Tonight is different but typical for this house. For this family. I almost find the irony of this well-put-together and influential family sitting around the table with nothing but anger and tension floating between them hilarious. I’m only filled with coldness and loathing here.
“Drake!” My head snaps up when I hear her angry voice shout my name. I look at her with a blank stare. She eases her voice into what she thinks sounds reasonable and motherly. I'm so used to her way of speaking that I’m surprised I haven’t started to find it reasonable, also. “I was asking you a question. Quit daydreaming. How is school?”
My first thought is, As if you care, but I keep that to myself. “It’s good. Pretty much the same as it is every year,” I say in a monotone voice, out of fear of sounding either too excited or not excited enough.
“That’s nice, dear,” she responds, taking a bite of her steak, which she has cu
t into a very small, precise, one-ounce piece. My father remains silent at the other end of the table, checking his emails on his phone between bites.
I put my head down again and take a bite of potatoes, practically forcing myself to swallow. I can hardly ever eat when we’re all at the dinner table together. I'm consumed by thoughts of how to make it through dinner without any mishaps that my appetite is almost non-existent.
I hear the clanking of a fork against a plate come from my father’s end of the table, so I look out of the corner of my eye in that direction. I don’t dare turn my head, in case I get caught in a conversation that has nowhere to go but bad. Except, tonight my luck must have run out, because I can see his gaze is directed toward me, and he is glancing at his phone and my face. I keep my head down.
“Drake, what did you do?” My father’s voice is full of uncommon emotion. I can feel the shivers run up my arm like a light breeze just blew through the dining room. I still keep my head down. I can’t seem to move or respond, although I know whatever he is upset about is only being made worse by my silence. Moving is still impossible.
Suddenly, he is standing and placing his hands on top of the table. “Look at me when I talk to you.” I swallow the venom that fills my mouth when I feel his angry indifference push its way into me. I need to get control before I say something I will regret later. But it’s too late.
I don’t even know what he is angry about or asking me, but I can’t seem to control the anger I feel over being treated like a piece of trash. Bury it. Bury it deep down. I can hear the memory of her voice whispering to me. It’s what we have to do to survive. I close my eyes and inhale. I hold my breath and count to ten before looking into my father’s angry face.
“Sir?” I say, in a voice so calm I can feel the threads of my control trembling in my throat.
“Don’t try to bullshit me, Drake. What are you doing?” His voice rises a little as he walks around the table. He is standing so close to me that if I tried to stand up, my body would be touching his.
“I received an email from Principal Barnes saying he is glad we agreed to the tribute planned in honor of your sister at the homecoming football game!” My body begins to shake as it does every time one of them brings up Lacey in any way. “I never…we never agreed to this! You! You did this behind our backs, knowing good and well we want to put this behind us. The embarrassment that this…the overwhelming loss of Lacey and…” He trails off, turning on his heel and leaving me clenching the arm of my chair as I try to remain still in my seat. Coward.
When I hear the door slam to his office, I slide the chair back and stand up, forgetting I’m not alone.
“Drake Thomas, you stop right there!” I can hear it in her voice. It’s going to be one of those nights. One of those nights I knew I needed to draw the attention to me and away from Lacey. Because she was too fragile. Now it's only me, and I have no one to save—to protect. I hate myself for fearing her. I hate even more that I feel heartache over the lack of parental love her actions and voice reveal. It’s full of hatred. A hatred that hurts.
I freeze but never look at her. It’s coming, and after all these years, I want to crumble to the floor and beg her to love me. I can see her move out of the corner of my eye until she is standing in front of me.
“How dare you? Do you know what you do to your father? To this family? Will you ever stop embarrassing us?” I keep my head down like I do every time. I hear Lacey again whispering for me to block it all out. My mother doesn’t really want an answer, so it makes it easier to keep quiet.
I can feel her take a step closer. “I thought maybe this all could stop. You would get your football scholarship and make your father proud…make this family shine again after your sister tainted us with even greater shame than any of your immature shenanigans did over the years!”
As soon as she mentions Lacey, I lose all concentration. The whispers in my head are silenced. I can take this all, but as soon as she tries to get to Lacey it’s all over.
My head whips up, and my vision is blurred by the hatred I feel for this woman in front of me. “DON’T EVER SPEAK OF HER AGAIN! LACEY WAS EVERYTHING GOOD!” My voice is quivering on every word. I see her confidence waver for only a moment before she pulls her hand back and slaps me across the face. This time I don’t back down right away, although I never raise my hand to her. Next thing I know, she is repeatedly hitting me across the face.
She begins screaming, “Don’t tell me about your sister!”
With every strike of her hand, I start to feel the sting then full-on pain as she uses her fist on my face. I feel the skin below my eye split open, and all I can think to do is drop to my knees. It’s like she can’t stop herself, and she doesn’t until I see through my tears my father has entered the room and is pulling her away. He is saying something to her as he grabs her around the waist, lifting her in the air and pulling her away from me. I see her nod her head slowly, and then he sets her down. She stares right at me as she straightens her blouse then turns and leaves the room.
My father looks down at me. “Why do you do this, Drake? You know what you do to her. Get up and clean your face. Do you see what happens? I—I can’t…I don’t know how to stop it.” He releases a defeated sigh and then leaves me standing in the dining room alone with my hands hanging at my sides.
The only thing going through my head is for just this one moment in time I’m glad Lacey isn’t here. I look around at the half-eaten dinner set perfectly on a perfect table for an ideal family, except that kind of perfect doesn’t exist…nor ever has it ever existed. Suddenly, the chime of a text message breaks through the sad silence hanging in the room.
I walk slowly to the table and pick up my phone that is lying on the floor next to my chair. It must have fallen when I stood up from the table.
Instantly, my heart beats back into a rhythm. I feel a warm sense of calm, which should seem impossible in this total moment of hopelessness.
It’s a text from Selene which only says, Because of you, this place doesn’t totally suck…friend. See you tomorrow.
In those two sentences, this girl just kicked hopelessness’s ass, leaving me feeling an unfamiliar sensation in my chest.
Drake
I CAN TELL SHE NOTICES as soon as my eyes meet hers through the crowd of students in front of her locker. It’s like a light switches on in her head, and it’s not one of joy, but of panic. I tried my best to hide it. In fact, I thought I did a pretty good job because I already talked to Tommy on my way into the building this morning, and he didn’t even notice. Of course, that is typical Tommy, oblivious to his surroundings.
She is standing directly in front of me now, and a tiny gasp slips past her lips. Slowly, she places her hand against the side of my face. I see her lip quiver as she opens it to say something. I want to lean into the warmth of her hand. I want to open myself to the comfort she wants to offer, but I know it would be the end of me. The end of the last tether I have hanging on to my sanity. I’m begging her with my eyes to remain silent. I don’t know how, but she seems to understand me. Biting her lip, she lowers her hand. I need to lift the tension that is fogging the air between us.
“Good morning, beautiful!” I say as I lean forward and place a kiss on her cheek.
Her cheek tenses under my lips, and I think I may have made a mistake. Pulling back, I see I am wrong. On her face, I can see a little of the happiness I’ve seen flicker there before. She pushes against my chest and rolls her eyes.
“That is not a friend greeting, Mr. Thomas! Keep that up and I will make you pay!” she says, trying to sound tough, but I can still hear the lingering anxiety in her words.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s from the cuts and bruises I 've tried covering up on my face or from the kiss I placed on her cheek. Either way, I’m going to ignore it if it means I can keep things normal for Selene and me. I need normal. She is my normal.
“Ooooooh, I’m scared. Big bad Selene Chandler is going to make
me pay! Do you have any idea what it does to me when you talk like that?” I ask her with humor in my voice, but I’m actually dead serious.
I love when she acts all tough. We have just reached the doorway of her first class, so she stops, once again facing me.
“No, what does it do?” I want to laugh at the look on her face; she looks sincerely confused by my statement. This girl has no idea what she is capable of doing to me. I continue past her, leaning in close to her ear as I go by, whispering, “I’ve always wondered about being dominated.”
Pulling a lock of her hair, I continue down the hall, laughing the entire way. It feels good to laugh. The laughter…the smiles are all for her. Only for her.
Selene
I’VE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY barely holding myself together. When I saw Drake this morning, I wanted to burst into tears and hold him tight. The makeup he carefully put on the cuts and bruises was well done, but the problem is I’ve unwillingly memorized every angle of every feature of this boy’s face. His perfect and heartbreakingly beautiful face.
Someone injured his perfection, but that isn’t what I worry about. Those will heal. I'm concerned his face will heal but his heart won’t. I saw something in his startling green eyes that stopped me from pushing the conversation. He doesn’t have to say what happened. I know it did—I know something happened.
Now, I'm sitting here on the bleachers waiting to watch him practice. Emme said she would meet me after cheerleading practice. I’m glad about that because I feel awkward sitting here alone. The sun is beating down on my back, and I’m questioning if I should’ve just gone home and then come back when his practice was supposed to be over. Except I was worried I would miss him.
When Destinies Collide Page 10