by B. B. Hamel
She glares at him with so much malice I think she might hit him.
But finally, she shakes her head. “This is so fucked up.”
“Let us do it for real,” I push. “We can fix my mom and this can all go away.”
“Go away? This won’t go away. I’m going to… I’m going to…” She trails off and lets out a long breath.
She stands there in silence for almost an entire minute. The moment is so tense I can barely handle it. Westin fidgets, arms crossed over his chest, eyes wide with rage. But she just stares at the floor, not speaking.
Finally, she looks up.
“You can do this surgery,” she says to Westin. “When you’re done, you’ll write a letter of resignation. You’ll explain you had an inappropriate relationship with a patient’s daughter, this woman right here. You’ll submit it to me and you’ll leave this hospital quietly. If I ever hear of either of you again, I will make sure this story ruins you both. Do you understand?”
Hope blossoms in my chest.
“I understand,” Westin says.
“And you?” She turns to stare at me. “Do you get it? You never come here ever again. You go away quietly. And if your mother ends up in even more pain, you shut up about it. You never speak of it. Or I ruin him, and I try to ruin you.”
“Yes,” I say, blinking rapidly.
Grace makes a disgusted sound. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but take that woman upstairs. Get her properly prepped.”
“Okay,” Westin says.
“And get this girl out of that fucking gown before anyone sees.”
Without another word, Grace turns and walks off.
I stand there in the hallway with Westin for a long moment. We just look at each other, not speaking, until we hear the elevator chime then close.
We both burst out in laughter.
He throws his arms around me, hugging me tight. He pulls me so close against him, I swear I can’t breathe.
Or maybe that’s because I’m laughing and crying.
“Come on,” he says finally. “Let’s go before she changes her mind.”
We head back into the room. Nany is there, looking sour.
“You can go home,” Westin says to her. “We’re heading upstairs to get our heads chopped off.”
Nany just nods. “Sorry. I did try. They just caught me.”
“I know,” he says softly. “You didn’t turn us in. I appreciate it.”
Her eyes go bright. “So you’ll still pay me?”
He laughs a little. “Yeah, Nany. Okay. I’ll still pay you.”
She grins huge. “Thanks, Westin.” She hurries out of the room and disappears down the hall.
“Really?” I ask him.
“Fuck, no. Are you kidding me?” He grins at me and I can’t help but laugh.
“Why are you two so happy?” Mom asks. “I thought we just got caught. Isn’t that bad?”
“Normally, yes,” Westin says. “But we have a hospital admin here that cares more about bad publicity than she does about illicit underground operations. So we’re going upstairs, getting you prepped again, and doing this surgery.”
“Are you serious?” she asks, eyes wide.
“I’m serious. We’ll be in a real OR with actual trained nurses and all the proper equipment.”
She cheers. My mother throws her hands up, winces in pain, and then cheers.
“Don’t be too happy, Mom,” I say, laughing. “I won’t be involved anymore.”
“Oh, no offense, honey, but you looked like you wanted to puke. I’m glad you won’t be in there.”
I grin and shrug a little. Westin puts his arm around my shoulder and hugs me against him.
“Okay. Now. Are we ready to do this?” he asks.
Mom nods. “I’m so ready.”
“Let’s go then.”
Together, we push Mom’s gurney out into the hall, head into an elevator, and we take her upstairs.
I can’t stop smiling. I can’t stop laughing. I can’t stop looking at Westin.
And I can’t stop thinking about how much I love him.
My mom’s getting a surgery. A real surgery.
Not like what we were going to do was fake, but still.
Mom’s right. I’m so relieved I could cry.
We head upstairs and I feel like we’re finally waking from a nightmare.
23
Westin
I come out of surgery exhausted, both physically and mentally, and watch as the nurses wheel Myra toward her recovery room. I remove my scrubs and toss them, wiping my hands together with a slight frown on my face.
This is always the most bittersweet moment. The end of any surgery is like an orgasm, and I feel just as wiped afterward. Except my hunger for more doesn’t return nearly so quickly as it does with sex.
I sigh and crack my neck. That was a long, difficult surgery. There were complications, like there always are. Standing here now, looking down the hallway, I’m not sure how things would’ve gone if we had done that surgery downstairs the way we planned.
But no, of course I know.
It would’ve gone the same. That’s how it is with these things. In the end, there’s only so much skill and ability involved. In the end, there’s a bit of luck.
And we got lucky.
I smile to myself and head toward the waiting room. I’m smiling even more when I spot Bailey, sitting all alone, her legs pulled up to her chest. She looks exhausted, probably since she’s been awake all night waiting for an answer.
She stands up the instant I step in the room. We’re alone and it’s six in the morning, the sun just barely peeking up over the horizon.
“Well?” she asks. “How did it go?”
“It went great,” I say, grinning huge.
She runs over and throws her arms around me. I hug her back, nice and tight, and hold her there.
She’s crying a bit and I don’t let her go. I let her tears flow into my scrubs. I smell her hair and feel her body against me and god, I’m so happy I could almost cry, too.
“Is she really going to be okay?” she asks me in a soft voice.
“Yeah, she really is.” I pull her away and look her in the eye. “I promise. It went about as well as it could’ve.”
“It took a while.”
“There were some complications. I’ll walk you through them later, if you want.”
“Okay.” She bites her lip. “Do you think… do you think we could’ve handled it ourselves?”
“Yes,” I say, tilting her chin up. “I swear you could’ve done it. We wouldn’t have hurt her. She would’ve been fine.”
She nods once. I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. I think she’s starting to second-guess herself, starting to wonder if our crazy plan really was just crazy after all.
But she’s wrong. It was crazy, sure, but we were going to do it right. That surgery would’ve happened exactly that way whether we did it in a normal OR or down in the room we’d prepped.
She would’ve been great. I just know she would’ve been.
I kiss her softly and she forces herself to smile. “Can I see her?”
“When she wakes up,” I promise. “Right now, you should get some sleep.”
“Probably.” She laughs a little.
“Here, come on.”
I lead her out into the hall and we hold hands the whole way.
It doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t matter if Grace hears about this or if people talk. I’m done at this hospital. The surgery is finished, Myra is going to be fine, and I’m done here. I don’t know where I’ll go or if I’ll even be able to find a new job, but it doesn’t matter to me right now.
I have my Bailey. And her mother’s going to be just fine.
I can’t stop smiling. I feel like a fool, but I really can’t stop.
Before we reach the elevators, I duck into a supply closet. I grab a pillow and a couple blankets before leading her up to my office. Once inside, I help her make a little nest on the f
loor.
“I swear, the second she’s awake and you can see her, I’ll come get you.”
“Okay.” She looks up at me. She’s so beautiful, angelic even. I kneel down and brush her hair away. “Thank you, Westin.”
I lean over and kiss her. “I love you, Bailey. I’d do anything for you. I think you know that.”
She bites her lip and I think she’s about to cry again. But she stops herself. “I love you too.”
We kiss, long and slow, before breaking apart.
“Go to sleep. I’ll see you soon.”
She nods and curls up. I put the blanket over her, grab my white jacket, then slip back out into the hall.
I could use some sleep myself, but I’m too high still, too energized by the whole thing. I put my jacket on then march directly to Grace’s office.
She answers on my first knock. “Come in.”
I step inside. She looks up with a frown. “Oh. It’s you.”
“I just wanted to let you know that the surgery went well. She’s going to be fine.”
She looks visibly relieved. “Good. I’m glad.”
“Glad for her or for the hospital?”
Her flat stare is answer enough.
“At any rate, you’ll have my letter soon. Scandal-free, just the way you like it.”
“Westin.”
I pause before I leave.
“You’re a good doctor. You’re reckless and impulsive and stupid, but you’re a good doctor. If you want another job, you’ll find one.” She doesn’t smile, but she doesn’t look away.
I nod. “Thank you.”
“Just don’t be stupid again.” She shakes her head and I slip back out into the hall before she can say any more.
So, maybe I will be a doctor at the end of this, after all.
I walk slow, starting to come down now. I find an empty on-call room, slip into the bed, and close my eyes, my beeper pressed tight against my chest in case something happens with Myra.
I wake up a couple hours later, feeling refreshed but still groggy. There are no messages on my phone and nothing on my beeper, so I take a second to get myself together before heading into the hall. I go directly toward Myra’s room, strangely feeling nervous about what I’ll find.
But I don’t need to feel that way. Because she’s sitting up in bed, awake, and chatting with a nurse.
“There he is!” she says as I slip in through the door. “The man that saved my life.”
“How are you, Myra?” I ask.
The nurse gives me an odd look before leaving without a word.
I guess the rumors are already starting to go around. That’s just what happens in a hospital, word travels fast.
“I’m great,” she says. “This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.”
I walk over and pull a chair up, sitting down next to her. “Well, to be honest, the surgery went about as good as I could’ve hoped,” I say. “I think your infection is going to clear up in the next few days. We’ll watch you carefully, make sure things are progressing properly, then send you home.”
“Thank you so much, Westin,” she says softly. “I mean it.”
“Of course. So did the nurses go over the recovery details with you? Pain management and all that?”
She snorts. “Trust me, I’m familiar with pain management.”
“Good. Listen to the nurses.”
“I will.” She smiles and shakes her head, and she doesn’t even wince. “You know, you didn’t have to do all this for me. You really gave up a lot, didn’t you?”
“I took a risk,” I say with a shrug. “I did it for your daughter as much as for you.”
“Why?” she asks simply.
“Because I love her.”
She smiles at my answer. “I thought so.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”
“I could see it in your eyes. Plus, nobody goes so far for someone else without a little love.”
“You’re right. I think you’re right.” I pat her hand and stand. “Should I go get her? She’s napping in my office right now.”
“Please do.”
I grin and head back upstairs. I wake up Bailey and give her a second to get herself together before we head down. She clings to my arm the whole way.
“I’m nervous,” she says.
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Afraid she won’t be better?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure.”
“I promise, she’s better.”
She nods and gives me a tight smile.
We reach Myra’s room and Bailey steps in hesitantly. I stand near the door and watch as Myra greets her daughter, her arms outstretched.
Bailey walks over, crying again, and gives her mother a hug.
I watch them for a little while, a smile on my face, as they both cry.
I can’t imagine what they’re feeling like right now. So much pain, so much misery. Their entire lives, both of them, were wrapped up in this disease. Every choice they made was constrained by it, every move they made was dictated by it. They both gave up so much.
And now they’re free. I can’t even imagine how that feels, but I can say that it feels amazing to be the one that gives it to them.
The freedom. The job.
I watch as Bailey turns and motions me over. I join them, grinning, as they both hug me.
Eventually I leave Bailey and her mother alone, but not before Bailey corners me near the door.
“I’ll see you later?” she asks, looking in my eyes.
“You’d better.”
“I have a debt to pay, you know.”
I smirk a little, head cocked. “That’s right. I think you do.”
“I can’t wait.” She gets up on her tiptoes and kisses me. Her mother laughs but I kiss her back.
“I can’t either,” I say, a huge grin on my face.
She blushes and hurries back over to her mother, who laughs at us both.
I leave them alone. This is their moment now, not mine. I did my job, I did what I could, and now it’s time for them to figure out what they want from their lives.
I only hope that what Bailey wants includes me.
For much longer than two weeks.
I have a feeling, though, that I’m in for a long, long time with her.
I grin and head to my office.
I’ve never felt this way before. I’m losing my job but I don’t feel like I’m losing anything at all. In fact, I feel like I’ve gained an entirely new life, a happier life. One where my existence isn’t entirely tied in with my job.
That’s because of Bailey. Because she opened herself to me, let me help her, and was willing to trust and give herself to me.
And let me fall in love with her.
That’s what I have now, what’s what matters. I have love, I have Bailey, my love.
24
Bailey
Two Years Later
I look out across the manicured grass lawn and smile to myself. I tilt my head back and let the sunshine bathe down around my skin. I close my eyes, just basking in it.
“You look comfortable.”
I blink and squint as a shape moves into my vision. Slowly Westin comes into view and I can’t help the smile that crosses my face.
“Hey, you,” I say, getting up. I dust off my pants and give him a quick kiss… that turns into a longer one.
“Hey, yourself.” He smirks a little. I kiss him one more time before I let him go. “You know, you’re going to get me in trouble. I shouldn’t be out here kissing coeds.”
“True,” I say, nodding sagely. “You are an old man, compared to everyone here.”
“Kids these days,” he sighs.
I laugh and he joins me on the lawn. He leans back on his hands and I put my head on his shoulder, and we just enjoy being there together.
College kids walk past wearing backpacks, glasses, tight jeans, oversized sweatshirts. I’m a little bit on the older side these da
ys, but Westin kind of stands out. Well, not just because he’s in his thirties while everyone else is in their twenties, but also because he’s by far the most gorgeous guy around.
It took me a little while to get used to that. Being with Westin means people always looking at us, or really, staring at him. Sometimes I get jealous, but I don’t let it get to me.
There’s nothing to be jealous of, not really.
He’s entirely devoted.
It didn’t take me long to figure that out. I mean, after my mom get out of the hospital, he basically lived with us for a little while. He took amazingly good care of her, taught me to do the rest, and really never went away.
Mostly because we were together at that time.
“How’s Myra?” he asks me suddenly. “I haven’t seen her in a couple weeks.”
“She’s down in Florida. I didn’t tell you that?”
He snorts. “Of course she is.”
“I know, right? She’s crazy.”
“When isn’t she traveling?”
I just shrug a little bit. “Can you blame her? Two years ago, she thought she’d never be able to live a normal life again.”
“True,” he says softly. “Man, what a time that was.”
I laugh a little bit.
What happened back then with the surgery and all that, it seems like a wild dream to me now. It’s almost easy to forget that it all really happened, that we really did try to perform an illegal underground surgery, and that I was going to be an active part of it.
Things worked out in the end. Westin left the hospital, somewhat in disgrace, and my mother got her surgery. She healed better than anyone expected and made a full recovery.
After that, I moved in with Westin. Not instantly, but he did have me for two weeks. I stayed in his gorgeous apartment for those two weeks having some of the best sex of my life, although we’ve sort of mastered the art of fucking even more since then, if that’s even possible. But after those two weeks, I just…
I sort of just never left.
He never said anything. I don’t think he needed to or wanted to. I just stayed there, we were together, and things were good.
Until one day, I got a phone call.