by Becca Taylor
Copyright © 2015 Becca Taylor
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or electronically, without permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or businesses, companies, events, institutions or locales is completely coincidental. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained are the property of the songwriters and copyright holders. The author acknowledges trademark status and trademark owners of products referenced. The use of these trademarks is not authorized, and done so without permission.
This book is intended for audiences age 18 and over. Contains graphic language, strong sexual situations, violence and mature content. If any of these offend you, please do not read.
Cover Design and Interior Formatting by : Cassy Roop of Pink Ink Designs
Cover Image by Kruse Images and Photography
Cover Models William Scott and Faith Danielle
Cover Image Copyright 2015
Editing by Kelli Maass
Acknowledgements
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Epilogue
Preview of Finding Reason (Breaking Free Series Book 3)
Finding Peace Playlist
Books By Becca Taylor
This book is dedicated to four women who have become so much more than friends. Each one of you listened to me when I was having a bad day. We cried together when someone went through a difficult time. The best is when we laugh, which we do often. I love the way we encourage and support each other so we make sure we reach our goals. KBABE forever.
Acknowledgements
Where to begin? There are so many people that have encouraged me along my journey.
First and foremost, thank you to my readers. Your daily support keeps me going. I love hearing from each of you.
Cassy Roop, you are an absolute dream to work with. You are patient with my daily questions and never hesitate to respond. Each time I see what you’ve designed for me, I simultaneously cry, scream and jump for joy.
Shauna Kruse, the woman who takes the most beautiful pictures I’ve seen, you give my characters a stunning face. Both you and the models you work with are professional and personal. You never groan when I constantly say, “I have an idea.” You just say, “We’ll make it work.”
Kelli Maass, my editor, how do I thank the woman who works her butt off to get the job done? Your little comments make me giggle. When I doubt myself, you cheer me on. I love you, Howie.
Then there are the people I have not met face to face, but who mean more than they know. I love you girls. Gloria Esau, Terra Oenning, Colette Trainor, Crystal Radaker, Robin Baker Proffitt, Brandy Paige Roberts, Nora Gangi, Amy Jones, Michelle Myers, Annelise Reynolds, Lindsay Johnston, Amanda Gillespie, Stephanie Gerard, and Lacy Mercado… the list could go on and on.
Alyssa
“MIKE, I HAVE TO TALK TO you about something.”
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. More than likely, I’ve been over thinking everything. This discussion, it isn’t one I am ready to have, but I know it is necessary for my sanity. It’s time.
“What, Alyssa? What do we have to talk about today that we haven’t talked about every day?”
See what I mean? Absolutely necessary before I pull all my hair out. And I happen to like my blonde hair.
“I’m moving.” There. I said it. I already feel the breath I was holding exit my lungs.
“What do you fucking mean you are moving out?”
And here it comes.
You see, Mike and I have been together for a long time, almost eleven years now. At this point, I’m pretty good at detecting how he will react to things. We are about to hit defcon five… in four, three, two…
“What the fuck, Al? You cheating on me? You find someone else to take care of your sorry ass? You think you can do better than this? Well, have at it. Pack your shit and go.”
I take a deep breath as Mike sits on the couch next to me, waving his beer around, screaming at me. He’s not always like this, just when he drinks, which he has been doing a lot of lately. Why do I put up with the drunken, angry tirades? Even I wonder what the answer to that question is. I hate where we live. I mean, undeniably, hate it. I work as much overtime as possible, go to the gym, and hang out with my friends just so I don’t have to be here.
Let me explain why I am here, physically.
I was made a promise. Mike promised me that if I moved in to his mobile home, we could save money and finally build a house on the property we owned. That’s when things were good between us. Well, better than they are now. That was three years ago. I’ve lost all faith in that dream; it is not going to happen.
You want to hear the sad part? I want to stay with Mike, just not here, living in this place. I think that if I move out things will get better. He will see how much he misses me—loves me; we can finally start a real life together. This is why I close my eyes tight, take a deep breath and continue.
“No, Mike. There’s no one else. I just think, maybe it would be better if we live separately. Maybe, we can fix what hasn’t been working lately. I just want to be happy again—for you to be happy with me.”
Putting his beer on the water stained end table, he crouches in front of me. He wipes the tears away that have started falling down my face. “Al, I’m sorry I freaked when you said you were leaving me.”
When I look up into his eyes, his features soften from the man he was only a few seconds ago.
“I never said I was leaving you. I just said I was moving.”
He pulls my head to his chest, stroking my hair. “I said I’m sorry. Explain to me what’s going on. I will listen.”
I hug him close. “I’m sorry too. Perhaps, I should have said it a little better. You know I hate living here. I want us to live somewhere else, but I know you won’t leave. You’ve been
so distant lately. I think it would be better for me to find somewhere else to live, until we build the house.”
“I know I’ve been on edge lately. It’s not you. Work’s a mess, they keep cutting my hours. You know it’s going to take time to get the house plans started. If you feel like you need to do this, fine. I won’t like it, but I will support you.” He kisses my forehead before leaving the room.
“Thanks, Mike.”
He just nods his head and locks himself in the bedroom. I fall back against the couch sighing with relief. That actually went better than I thought.
Alyssa
ALONE AT LAST.
Tonight is the first night I get to stay in my new place by myself. Kat, my best friend, stayed with me yesterday. She helped me unpack and get settled in. It’s thanks to her that I found this place. It had turned out this guy that Kat is seeing, Caleb, had a friend who was looking to rent out part of his house. I met Bentley twice. Once at the pool hall and the second time when his band, Slither, played at a charity motorcycle event. From what I could tell, he seemed like a decent guy. I think being good looking adds to his charm.
Kat encouraged me to take a look at the apartment Bentley was renting, and I am so glad she did. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to live temporarily. Once I saw it, I knew I had to live here. It is the quintessential beach house with three levels. Bentley closed in the required stilts to make a two car garage and storage area. The second floor, where I now live, has two big bedrooms and two bathrooms, one of which is attached to the master suite. The bedroom also comes equipped with a large walk-in closet to fit all my shoes in… I may have a slight addiction to shoe shopping.
The living room, kitchen and dining area are an open floor plan, which are perfect for cooking and entertaining—two things that I love to do. The best part, though, is the deck that looks out on the Gulf. Bentley’s apartment is on the third floor and has the exact same layout. The only difference is, he gets the better view, but I’m not complaining!
I’ve lived in Florida for half my life, and I never thought I would be able to live somewhere like this. He rented it to me cheaply, as long I could put up with the construction noise. I started moving in immediately. Kat, Caleb, and Bentley all chipped in to help me out, and we got it done in a matter of hours. Not having much furniture helped make the move go faster.
I sit on my brand new sofa, in my brand new apartment, where each room is filled with sparkling new furniture. The only used piece I brought with me was my California King, pillow top mattress. I swear the angels in heaven aren’t as comfortable as I am in that bed. I bought it after a big argument with Mike, he insisted it wouldn’t fit in our mobile home.
It was a struggle, but with determination and a little elbow grease, I got it in the room. Mike hated sleeping on it, complaining it was too soft. Is there such a thing? He chose to sleep on the lumpy pull out sofa in the living room. That was six months ago. His loss, definitely my gain.
Just as I am about to curl up with a good book, I hear a knock on my door. I put on my fuzzy pig slippers and answer it. Bentley is standing with a bag in his hand and a smile on his face.
“Thought you might be hungry. I know you haven’t had a chance to go food shopping yet. I picked up some stuff to make sandwiches, some pickles, and coleslaw. Cute slippers by the way.” Bentley says, as he takes in my clothing choice for the evening, my customary yoga shorts and tank top.
“Thanks, I kind of have a thing for cute pigs.” My stomach noticeably grumbles. “Guess I am hungry. I didn’t even think about food, until you mentioned it.”
Bentley places everything on the kitchen counter, including paper plates, napkins, and plastic utensils. I still need to get dishes, silverware, and cups. Luckily, I still have cups left over from last night’s impromptu move-in celebration. After unpacking, we all stayed here and had a few late night snacks. Bentley played his guitar and sang. It was a relaxing way to get to know everyone a little better.
“Aly, this place looks better already. The furniture looks great.” He makes us sandwiches while talking. Just as we sit to eat, there is another knock on the door. Mike stands there, holding a pizza and a six-pack of beer, looking rather annoyed. With all the activity today, it slipped my mind that he said he would be stopping by.
“What took you so long to answer? I brought dinner,” Mike says half annoyed, half proud.
“Mike, we have a guest.”
He turns his head and sees Bentley sitting at the table. Instantly, his ears grow red.
“This is my landlord, Bentley. He was being neighborly and brought dinner. Bentley, this is my boyfriend, Mike.”
“Nice to meet you,” Bentley says as he stands to shake Mike’s hand, which is still holding the pizza and beer. I grab them from him, bringing them to the table.
Mike doesn’t shake his hand. In fact, he just grabs a beer, opens it, and starts drinking. I figured Mike might be less than thrilled with the man who lives above me, but I wasn’t expecting his manners to be this bad. Bentley looks at me, shrugging the encounter off. We sit in an uncomfortable silence. Bentley eats his sandwich, Mike eats his pizza, and I take a little of each.
After we finish dinner Bentley says he’s going to head out.
Mike turns to me, and yells. “What the hell, Alyssa? Is this why you moved here?”
Bentley is barely out the front door and instantly comes back in. He stands protectively in front of me. “You need to calm your shit, man, or get the hell out.”
The two of them have a stare down. Mike holds up his hands in surrender. Bentley leaves first, after I tell him everything is fine. Mike walks over the refrigerator, grabs the rest of his beer and turns towards me. “We will be discussing him later. I need to cool off for a while though.”
The front door closes with a thump. I fall to the couch, wishing that I had spent the night alone and got to read my book.
Alyssa
ADJUSTMENTS.
That’s the only way to explain my life lately. Mike and I are getting used to changes, and things have been better between us lately. He just called to say he’s on his way. We are having a date night. It’s been a while since we’ve had one, once again confirming that we need this time apart for the sake of our relationship.
Tonight we are meeting with Kat and Caleb for dinner at a local Irish pub. It's run by a husband and wife, Molly and Daniel, who we became fast friends with after I raved about their food. As soon as we walk through the door, Molly greets us, showing us to our table. "You two want your usual?" she asks with her thick accent.
"Not yet. We're waiting on some friends," I tell her.
"Just shout when you're ready," Molly says before heading back to the front. I love the casualness of the restaurant and how Molly makes everyone feel like family.
I strike up a conversation with Mike and it feels like it used to. He tells me about the repairs he's making at his place and the car he's restoring. He even asks me to come with him to a car show. The last car show we went to was okay, but I spent more time chauffeuring Mike and his friends around than getting to enjoy myself. This time I will try and enjoy it more, for him.
Kat and Caleb show up not too long after us. Caleb shakes Mike's hand before kissing me hello on the cheek. Molly comes right over, taking everyone’s drink orders. Mike is full of surprises tonight. He talks to both Kat and Caleb. The boys fall easily into a conversation about some guy stuff. They leave us and go play a round of darts by the bar, talking about some antique armoire that Mike is refinishing for work, giving Kat and me a chance to talk.
"Things seem to be better between you two," she says once the boys are out of hearing range.
I take a sip of my very green drink before answering. "This drink is really good. And, yes, things are going great."
Kat takes a sip of my drink. "What is this?"
"I have no idea. Molly brought it to me. I'm definitely ordering another one."
"Me too. So, did Mike get over Bentle
y being your landlord-slash-hot-neighbor, yet?" she asks me, looking to get some juicy details.
"No. We just don't talk about it. Bentley usually stays away when Mike is around, and vice versa—out of sight, out of mind theory—and it's working so far."
"How are you and Bentley getting along? He's a really great guy."
I raise one eyebrow at her. She's been hinting for me and Bentley to hook up since the first time we all went out together. It has only gotten worse since I now live downstairs from him.
"Stop, Kat."
"Stop what?"
I sigh. "Bentley is just a friend."
She doesn’t end it though. "I know. I'm just asking how he is as a roommate?"
"He doesn't live with me. He lives upstairs."
Molly comes over, momentarily stopping our conversation. "You want another one?"
Kat answers for me. "Yes, she does. And one for me, pretty please."
"Sure, love," Molly says in her sweet Irish brogue.
When she walks away, I continue. "Bentley is great. He's very nice. We get along fine. We will see what happens next week when the construction starts up again. I may want to move out if it’s too much to handle.”
“What kind of construction? And I highly doubt you will be moving out. You are living in your dream apartment.”
Molly promptly returns, placing our lime-colored beverages in front of us. Kat quickly takes a sip, raving. “Damn, this drink is delicious!”
"He’s renovating his bathroom. His water will be off for a few days or something like that."
"So you two will be sharing a shower?" As her words are released, she gets a twinkle in her eyes.
"Not sharing together. He can use the guest room."
"Very interesting." Kat smirks. Once again that twinkle in her eyes appears. She’s relentless. She opens her mouth to say something else when Mike and Caleb return to the table. Thankfully, Kat drops the conversation. Dinner is delicious, and like always I eat too much. We are having so much fun, we don’t realize how late it becomes, and decided to call it a night.