“Yes. When you passed out, Kuroha went completely pale. She told me that she wanted me to leave the two of you alone so that she could calm down.”
“Wa... Wawawawa...... waaa...!” Kuroha yelped.
Huh? Why is Kuroha suddenly doing vocal exercises?
Yuzu-san was staring at Kuroha in disbelief, but then she remembered something, and pulled out an envelope from her jersey’s back pocket.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Look... There was a strange letter that arrived in my mailbox.”
A strange letter?
I was curious, so I got out of bed and stood in front of Yuzu-san. Kuroha lined up next to me.
“Here.” Yuzu-san took out a single sheet of paper from inside the envelope. “It’s all written in hiragana. The writing looks like a girl’s, so I think it’s probably some prank from a little girl, but...”
“Did someone say ‘little girl’?!” Odaira-sensei appeared like the wind. “I’ve been an author for 50 years, and I’m telling you that it’s a rare thing to get a letter from a little girl! They’re all mostly ones from middle or high school students who are in my ‘meh’ zone. Ones in my strike zone are super rare!”
“Where did you get those ears and legs of yours? Can humans just appear out of thin air like that?” Kuroha frowned.
“Nee, don’t go lumping in the geezer with us humans,” said Miru, who had also come into my room after hearing us talking.
“I see that everyone is here. Good. Please read this.” Yuzu-san opened up the letter. We all peered over at it as Yuzu-san held it up. On the letter this was written in a girly handwriting:
THATS SITUATION
SO ITS BAAAAD
IN BIG TROUBLE
MONEY→ NOPE
BRING MONEY TO PLACE ON MAP
WAITING ◎
CAN ONLY COUNT ON YOU SENSEI ☆
Below the writing was drawn a map. It looked like some place in northern Japan, Touhoku.
The letter writer didn’t leave a signature. The letter was addressed to Yuzu-san’s house, but it was all written in hiragana.
“I’m sure it’s got to be a prank, right? It’s all written in hiragana, and it says to bring someone money...” said Yuzu-san, not taking it very seriously. For Yuzu-san, or rather, anyone from the 21st century, the writing must have seemed very strange.
However... to myself it had a strangely nostalgic feeling. That letter... was most definitely written in 23rd century Japanese.
＊
On a certain day in the 23rd century, in Kuroha’s room...
“Kuroha, this month’s edition of Literary Gal has arrived! Let’s read it together!” I cried
“S-Sheesh, don’t just come barging into my room,” she said.
“It seems like in this issue there’s a remake of Odaira-sensei’s first book! How cool!”
(Translator’s Note: Literary Gal is a literature magazine published by Hoggy Japan. It began serialization in the year 2168. At first it was 90% filled with actual novels, but it has expanded its content to include articles as well, and is now a magazine that covers all manner of literary subjects. What follows is my interpretive translation of this magazine’s cover story.)
Special Issue! Literary Gal July 2202
“GAI ODAIRA – DEBUT WORK – SELF REMAKE”
ODAIRA: On this occasion, I have taken the opportunity to remake my own debut work, DUMDUMMY NOGOODY LILSISY. It has been 50 years since its original publication, and I feel like there are some expressions which are no longer appropriate for the times. I thought to myself, “Why not give new life to this work that heralded my own birth into the literary world?”
“DUMDUMMY NOGOODY LILSISY” excerpt:
COMESIN→MYSELF
COMESIN→GIRL
AFTERSCHOOL GIRL SHOUTS SUDDEN!
GIRL: MAKE CLUB ◎
MYSELF MADE TO JOIN
MYSELF: WHAT KIND CLUB?
GIRL: DUMDUMMY CLUB
WAWAWA DUMDUMMY DUMDUMMY
MYSELF NO THINK LICK GIRL ☆
GIRL: MYAA
GIRL SURPRISE ROLLS OVER
YAY PANTSU PEAKY ☆
“Kuroha, how will he change this?” I asked.
“Well the remake version is also in the article...” she said.
“DUMDUMMY NOGOODY LILSISY” excerpt from the remake:
COMESIN→MYSELF
COMESIN→GIRL
AFTERSCHOOL GIRL SHOUTS SUDDEN!
GIRL: MAKE CLUB ◎
MYSELF MADE TO JOIN
MYSELF: WHAT KIND CLUB?
GIRL: DUMDUMMY CLUB
WAWAWA DUMDUMMY DUMDUMMY
MYSELF NO THINK LICKY GIRL ☆
GIRL: MYAA
GIRL SURPRISE ROLLS OVER
YAY PANTSU PEAKY ☆
“...Oh my God! This is an incident that will go down in the history of literary magazines!”
“Um... I can’t see any difference between the two...”
“Look at the forth line from the end! LICK (perori) has been changed to LICKY (perorin)!” I cried.
“...Is this supposed to be some kind of ‘find the difference’ game?” she asked.
“Don’t be silly! By this one single letter change, Sensei has completely encapsulated the difference from the world today and the world 50 years ago!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Of the 50 letters in the phonetic alphabet, ‘n’(ん) is the final one, right? In other words, Sensei is giving us a warning that Japan is nearing its end. Yes, that must be what it is!”
“...Onii-chan, you really start to overthink things when it comes to Odaira-sensei’s books,” Kuroha said.
“Sensei put all of his feeling into just that one extra letter. Don’t worry, Sensei, I understand exactly what you meant. From that one letter, I feel I understand a hundred... no, a thousand characters! Indeed, this is your literature, Sensei!”
“Hey, don’t start crying on me...” Kuroha complained.
“Senseiiiii!”
...In the next issue, Odaira-sensei issued a statement: “My little sisters told me, ‘I liked the original one better-nyo!’ so please pretend like this never happened.”
Chapter 2 - The Truth of the Situation
The super express train rushed past the tranquil rural landscape. Although it was called a “super express,” it felt quite slow to me, as I was used to the speeds of 23rd century trains. In comparison, 21st century trains proceeded at quite a leisurely pace. For someone without any patience, it would probably have been frustrating, but I was quite pleased with the train ride myself, as there was actually time to appreciate the scenery.
We were on this train on a journey to the southern part of the Touhoku region of Japan. The five of us were sitting facing each other in a box seat, with Yuzu-san and I on one side, and Kuroha, Miru, and Odaira-sensei on the other. There were only two seats on each side, so Miru was sitting on Kuroha’s lap.
“Gin-san, may I ask a question?” asked Yuzu-san from the seat next to me, turning her head. “Ever since I heard we were going to the southern part of Touhoku, there has been something that I’ve been wondering about...”
Yuzu-san was looking very serious.
I wonder what she’s going to ask me? It’s making me kind of nervous...
“Is Touhoku... in America?” she asked.
“What? There’s a cross-Pacific railroad in this era?” I asked.
“No, it’s just that it seems pretty far.”
“Yuzu-san, you seem like you’d fit in pretty well in America. Let’s dress you up like a cowgirl and see if you blend in!”
“Oh, my...” said Yuzu-san, smiling happily. I couldn’t help but to smile myself.
At that point, a dictionary was opened up in front of us, showing us the page with this entry:
東北地方 本州の北東部にある地方 (Touhoku-chihou: The area in the Northeast of Japan’s main island, Honshu.)
“That’s where it is, get i
t?”
I looked up and saw Kuroha looking at us with an annoyed expression.
“You know I can’t read that...” I said.
“Have Yuzu-san read it!” she snapped.
Sheesh, what’s your problem?
“Are you still against this?” I asked.
“Well... I mean that letter was really suspicious, right?” Kuroha said.
We weren’t on this train to Touhoku for a vacation. We were heading to the place on the map of that mysterious letter we had received. It had marked a certain prefecture in Touhoku.
After having read that letter, I had immediately gotten in the mood for an expedition, but Kuroha had been steadfastly against it.
“How in the world can you believe that nutty letter just like that?!” had basically been her opinion on the matter.
Kuroha and I hadn’t been able to come to an agreement on what we should do, but after Odaira-sensei had weighed in, we had decided to head to the southern region of Touhoku.
The postage stamp on the letter had had an illustration of a pretty girl on it.
“To my eye, this is an ancient commemorative stamp. In this time period, various local municipalities had begun to use moe characters to attract tourists and revitalize towns,” Odaira-sensei had explained.
Using pretty girl illustrations to revitalize local towns was such a Heisei era thing to do. In our time period, it would have been unthinkable. After all, those sorts of illustrations were commonplace, everyday things in our time, so they would have been no use for getting people’s attention.
“The illustration is simple and charming and very much to my taste. I really want that stamp. If we go to the place on the map, I might be able to get one of those stamps before it’s been used. I have no interest in pretty girl stamps which are used goods, after all!” Odaira-sensei had continued.
Since he had been in favor, we had decided to head to the place on the map. After all, we didn’t have any other course of action staying at Yuzu-san’s house, and this way I would be able to see the countryside in the 21st century.
It was an opportunity to experience another different culture. To a person from 23rd century Japan like myself, the 21st century was filled with all different kinds of new cultures.
This was something I realized quite vividly from right inside the train. I could hear the conversation of two old women who were sitting in the seat behind ours.
“Um, you betcha. (Yes, that’s right.)” ＊Translator’s note: The women are speaking with a heavy Touhoku accent. I have also provided a standard English translation.
“Yah, see dem short l’il mownt’n back de’er? (Can you see a short mountain over there?)”
“I’m not feelin’ so hot, yah? Tokyo was just uff-da, dontcha know. (There were too many people in Tokyo, and I’m not feeling well).”
They were saying things like that, using words and phrases I had never heard before. I thought it was a foreign language at first, but here and there, I could make out some Japanese expressions. It wasn’t enough to let me figure out what they were saying, though. I wonder what language it is? This is gonna bother me...
Of course, the best way to get rid of that question was also the most straightforward.
“I’m gonna ask those old ladies behind us what language they’re speaking!” I announced.
I was just about to take some of the pickles that Yuzu-san had brought with us as a little gift and go over and ask them when Kuroha stopped me. “If they’re foreigners, they might not understand Japanese, you know,” she said.
If it comes to that, I’m sure I can get the point across with hand gestures!
But Odaira-sensei chuckled and explained to me the situation. The old women weren’t speaking in some foreign language, they were speaking in a variant of Japanese called a “local accent.” In the past, local areas had had their own speaking styles, and the words that they had used could be different, even though it was the same language.
When I heard this... I burst into tears. They poured out of my eyes like a waterfall.
“You’ve been overcome with something again, haven’t you Onii-chan?” sighed Kuroha.
“Nii’s finally lost it,” said Miru.
“B-But... I’m so grateful to be able to come to the 21st century! We’re able to hear words that have been lost to time with our own ears! Could there be anything more wonderful?!”
In the 23rd century, there are no longer any “local accents.” Japanese is spoken the same way everywhere, and any differences in usage have completely disappeared. For someone like myself who aimed to become an author, being able to experience words that had been lost was something incredibly moving. If I don’t cry at a time like this, I’d never be able to cry at all!
“I’m going to memorialize this experience of a new culture in writing!” I said as I grabbed a pen and some paper from my bag that I had stored in the luggage net above. I soon became completely absorbed in my writing.
After I had finished writing a page, Yuzu-san smiled and said, “I couldn’t help myself and read what you wrote. Your writing is amazing and has so many symbols that it is really difficult to understand, but there is one part that I get! You wrote the number ‘21.’”
Ah yes, that part is pretty straightforward. Our story takes place in the 23rd century, and also...
“It means the 21st century, right?” Yuzu-san asked.
“No, it’s what Miru calls me. 2(ni)1(i).”
“O-Oh...” Yuzu-san said, disappointedly. She seemed crushed.
“Yuzu-san, don’t even try. Normal people are never going to understand Onii-chan’s writing,” said Kuroha, who looked over at my manuscript. “Yup, it’s got tons of symbols and is written in some kind of code. Tell me, what is this symbol ‘◀︎◀︎＝’ that is saying ‘you betcha’? Writing it vertically it looks like a pine tree... Is it a person?”
“It’s you, Kuroha,” I said.
“Me?!” Kuroha let out a yelp. “W-Wait a second here. W-Why would I be speaking in a local accent?”
“Why not? This might be born from personal experience, but I’m not writing a memoir here, I’m writing a novel — fiction!”
After we had returned to the 21st century, I had started something. I had started to write my personal experiences in this time in my own “Gin Imose” way. If you look at other works born out of personal experience, you’ll find that essays are the most popular form, but I was writing a novel. It was, in the end, purely fictional. However, most of the characters were modeled after real people, and I had gotten permission from my sisters, Odaira-sensei, and Yuzu-san to use them in the story. Of course, I myself was in the story as well.
“There’s nothing wrong with writing down the times when you are emotionally moved, but please don’t go giving me strange traits...” complained Kuroha.
“There’s nothing strange about it. Don’t you think a character who uses words that had been lost to the ages would be the most intelligent? Those old ladies are using ‘you betcha’ at the end of their sentences all the time, so I’m gonna make you into a character that ends all her sentences with ‘you betcha.’”
“No way. Make sure my character speaks completely orthodox Japanese,” said Kuroha.
Well, aren’t you picky? I gave in and told her, “Fine,” for now, and that was where our conversation ended. I concentrated on writing.
“Onii-chan, you really are putting a lot of effort into this. Do you think that writing about yourself is giving you a fresh source of inspiration?” Kuroha asked, breaking in.
“That’s part of it, but once I started writing my personal experiences it’s living in this time period itself that gives me the motivation,” I told her. “You should find something to keep yourself busy, as well.”
When I glanced over at Kuroha, I saw that she had her dictionary open on her lap.
“...Something to keep me busy, huh?” said Kuroha, shifting her gaze over to the paper I’d been writing on.
&nb
sp; The map written on the letter was showing a place deep in the mountains. A place deep in the mountains in the 21st century was like some undiscovered jungle to us, of course. We were all worried about being suddenly attacked by bears, monkeys, mountain people, deviants... but thankfully we arrived safely at our destination without any issues.
We were at an open area about midway up the mountains where they cut into the forest, and there was a single, small shack. It was considerably too small to be someone’s home. It had a straw-thatched roof, and seemed to have been made so long ago that it would be rare to see even in the Heisei era.
I wonder when it was built?
“Gin-san, is that...?” Yuzu-san asked. She was pointing at what seemed to be a stone marker. There were letters carved into it, but it looked like modern Japanese, and I couldn’t read it.
冬耳虎彦の草庵 (The Thatched Cottage of Torahiko Touji)
Kuroha muttered to herself “Torahiko Touji... I know that name...”
“I see. So this must be a person who makes stone markers, right? They sure had a lot of different professions in the 21st century,” I said, impressed.
“...No, he’s a writer from long ago,” Yuzu-san said.
“A writer from long ago? From what era?” I asked.
“He lived from the Meiji to the Taisho era. This stone marker must be in commemoration of him. It looks like Torahiko Touji used this cottage.”
“We need a stone monument to commemorate the love between Miru-chan and me! I have my house in NERIMA, so I think I’ll erect it right outside the train station,” remarked Odaira-sensei.
My Little Sister Can Read Kanji: Volume 2 Page 3