Widow, Virgin, Whore - A Novel

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Widow, Virgin, Whore - A Novel Page 14

by Deanna Lynn Sletten


  Allison's body weakened. Her muscles ached relentlessly, and she had trouble controlling them as she was helped to the bathroom. Soon, she had to be washed and dressed in bed. Food became intolerable. Eating something as simple as broth became a labor for her. And her eyesight was completely gone. She no longer saw blurry shadows, only darkness.

  Darla read to her from the inspirational books Allison kept on her nightstand. She loved stories about angels and healings and hope. Carl told her stories about his photography job, which always brought a smile to her face. He'd gently rub her aching arms and legs as he spun stories of children who wouldn't smile and dogs that knocked down tripods. Susie brought flowers daily from the shop and would hold them under Allison's nose so she could smell their fragrance. Craig told her stories about Bingo night and the other fundraising events he and Darla attended. And Katherine became her confidant, the one who listened to her every thought so she could write it down for all to read.

  "I'm not afraid to die," Allison told Katherine one day. "Even though I hurt and can't do anything for myself, I feel a sense of peace."

  "I thank God for all of my friends," Allison said another time. "You have all made my life feel so full."

  Dementia began to set in. "Katherine, who let that cat in my room?" she asked one day while Katherine was changing her nightgown.

  Katherine looked around the room, confused. "What cat?" she asked, then suddenly remembered that Allison couldn't see a cat even if it was in the room. She let it pass without another word.

  It happened again when Darla was with her. "Keep running John, you're almost at the end!"

  "John?" Darla questioned, but Allison had already dozed off. Later, when she told the group about it, they all said they'd had a similar experience. She was hallucinating. At times, she could be very lucid, other times she wasn't.

  They camped around her bed that night trying to spend as much time with her as they could before they lost her completely. It was a sad sight. Allison would talk for only a short time, then doze off. Then the others would whisper remembrances of Allison to each other until she woke again.

  "Allison was the first person I met with AIDS after I was diagnosed," Craig told everyone. "We were both at one of Jeff's fundraisers and he introduced us. It was her idea that we start this small support group. After she became too ill to go out, she encouraged me to bring new members into the group." He smiled at Darla and clasped her hand. "I'm so glad she did."

  "I met her at Bingo night through Jeff, too," Carl spoke up. "Somehow, she coaxed me into joining the group. I don't know how." He smiled at her sleeping face. "Allison just has a way about her that you can't refuse."

  "Isn't it strange?" Susie asked. "We all met Allison through Jeff. We met during a dance that the group sponsored. I had just lost my marriage and custody of the kids and needed to be around people, and there she was. She listened to my problems and held me when I began crying." Susie bit her lip and tried hard to control the tears welling up in her eyes. "I just don't know what I would have done without her friendship."

  Katherine later wrote that she would never forget their pained expressions as they all prepared themselves for Allison's inevitable death.

  The next day, Allison refused to have the IV fluid hooked up. Susie was in a state of panic trying to persuade her that she needed it but Allison shook her head no. Susie called the others and they gathered immediately and called the doctor for advice.

  "She said that the time would come when she would refuse treatment," the doctor gently reminded Katherine over the phone. "She is taking control of her death now."

  "But she'll die without fluids!" Susie cried when Katherine relayed the doctor’s words. "We can't let her do this."

  "She's in a lot of pain, Susie," Carl said. "Dehydration is the least painless way to die."

  Susie shot him a horrified look. "You're cruel, Carl. You don't understand!"

  "I do understand," Carl replied quietly. "I've done this before."

  Every eye in the room scanned the reaction of the others as silence hung in the air.

  Crying now, Susie pleaded with everyone. "Don't let her die, not yet. Katherine? Craig? Please."

  Katherine came to her and hugged her hard, searching Craig's eyes for advice over the top of her head. She could see the turmoil brewing in his usually playful eyes. Even Darla looked up to him in search of an answer. He had known Allison the longest, so everyone looked to him for the ultimate decision.

  "I think we have to respect Allison's wishes," he said finally. "As much as it hurts us all, she has chosen to let go this way. We have to do as she asks."

  Susie burst out in fresh tears. Katherine held her. Carl hung his head. Darla wrapped her arms around Craig and dropped her head on his shoulder as his arms held her tight. They were the ones in pain, yet they knew they were doing the right thing.

  ***

  Allison's body weakened. She fell in and out of sleep, talking lucid one moment, hallucinating the next. They could no longer carry her to the bathroom, so a catheter was placed. At times, her body would jerk and go rigid in a seizure, after which she'd recover a little weaker than before. Yet, there was always a smile on her face for her friends.

  On the Fourth of July, Darla, Craig, Carl, and Susie sat on Allison's bed watching fireworks on television. Allison couldn't see them, but said she could picture their brilliance in her mind by the sound of the explosion each made. Denise, Gary, and Katherine took the kids to Golden Gardens Park for the fireworks and yearly carnival, ending the evening by stopping by to see Allison to bring her a teddy bear Chris had won in the baseball throw.

  The next day, Allison slipped into a coma. No one left her side. Five days later, they lost their friend to AIDS.

  They buried Allison in a small, coastal cemetery, her spot shaded by a gargantuan cypress tree that looked as if it had been there since the beginning of time. She'd picked out the spot two years before and taken care of everything before her death, giving her instructions to Craig. The mourners were few; Jeff, Dr. Warner, Katherine, Denise, Gary, Darla, and the rest of the group. But the sorrow of her loss could not have been felt any stronger had the crowd been one hundred times its size. No minister was present, simply the warm remembrances of her closest friends were needed.

  "Another dear soul was taken from this world by AIDS," Katherine wrote for the newspaper. "She left us quietly after fighting the disease for four long years. Never did she complain, never did she curse the disease that took her life away one bit at a time. She left us with the same dignity as she had lived her life, and her presence will be greatly missed among her small group of friends."

  They cleaned out her apartment, took care of her outstanding bills, and each person took a small remembrance of her. And then, sadly, they went back to their lives without her.

  Katherine was amazed in the days after the article appeared at the outpouring of letters and donations sent in by readers from Seattle and from around the country. People thanked her for letting them know Allison, people wanted to know what they could do for other AIDS victims, and people wanted to contribute to Jeff's fundraising group. The paper printed the name and address of the group so the money would go directly to them and Jeff received thousands of dollars in funds from mourners across the country. In life, Allison contributed her great sense of life and happiness to everyone around her. In death, the contributions because of her would go to help many others suffering from AIDS. To Katherine, it seemed so fitting.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Katherine was sitting in the bay window enjoying the last evening rays of sun as she mulled over her book manuscript when she heard Craig at the front door.

  "Come on in," she called out, getting up to greet him. Chris was sprawled out on the sofa, watching an old western on television and as she passed him, she ruffled his blonde hair. "You should be outside enjoying the nice weather," she said, but he only grunted.

  "Hi, Katherine," Craig greeted cheerfully as he cam
e in through the door. He was decked out in a sparkling silver top hat with a red feather in the band and a pair of glittery red glasses. He wore an old 1970s style polyester print shirt and bell-bottom jeans.

  "Hey, it's not Halloween, yet. It's only July," Katherine told him, laughing at his outfit. "What's this about?"

  Darla came clomping into the room from the kitchen with Chelsea close behind. "It's the Elton John Dance tonight, remember? I told you about it last week."

  Katherine's eyes grew wide at the sight of Darla. She had on a bright, print chiffon wrap-around dress that was lined with a hot-pink feather boa. With it she wore hot-pink tights, yellow and pink feathers protruding from the headband in her hair, and the tallest pair of glittery pink platform sandals Katherine had ever seen.

  "Who are you supposed to be?" Katherine asked.

  "I'm Kikki Dee," Darla said, twirling in place, making her short wrapper rise higher. "They said to dress up as anything to do with Elton John, new or old version. So I decided to be her."

  "Where'd you get those shoes?" Katherine asked, staring at the ridiculous pair of platforms.

  "These? They were in the back of my closet."

  Everyone laughed out loud. Only Darla would own a pair of shoes like those.

  "Why don't you come along?" Darla asked Katherine. "You like Elton John, and that's the only music they're playing all night."

  Katherine raised her brows. "I don't know," she began.

  "Carl and Susie are meeting us there. And Chelsea is coming, so Chris can come, too. It'll be fun."

  Chelsea stood behind Darla dressed in a retro rainbow-striped tube top, white bell-bottoms, and sandals. "I'm not getting as weird as Mom," she told Katherine. "But Craig has a top hat and glasses for me, too."

  Katherine looked over at Chris. "Want to go?"

  He shrugged. "Do I have to dress weird?"

  "I don't have a costume to wear," Katherine said, looking back at Darla.

  "No problem. Craig made up hats and sunglasses for everyone. Come on, let's go."

  Katherine looked at her watch. It was five-thirty, and Denise was out with Gary for the night. "Why not?" she decided.

  The dance was held in the back room of the old Elks Club in Fremont. By the time they arrived, the room was packed and "Benny and the Jets" was blaring through the speakers. The DJ who'd volunteered his time and music for the dance had set up his booth beside the stage which held a Karaoke machine for anyone wanting to imitate Elton. Above, a silver disco ball glittered as it slowly rotated over the semi-dark room. Long tables of food and beverages, donated by various local businesses, stood along one wall for anyone wishing to purchase refreshments.

  Jeff greeted them at the door decked out in a silver lame jumpsuit and silver platform boots. "From my original Benny days," he said, laughing.

  Katherine and Chris had donned hats and glittery glasses from the back seat of Craig's car. Katherine wore a purple, velvet beanie with purple glittery glasses while Chris had on a green sparkling top hat and matching oversized glasses. They all hooted with laughter at the sight their group made.

  They found Carl and Susie in the crowd and joined them at a table. Both only went as far as the hats and glasses, too, although Carl had tied a psychedelic silk scarf around his neck. "For color," he explained with a smile.

  He'd also brought his camera to photograph the bizarre crowd. That gave Katherine a great idea. "Think we could send in a couple of pictures with my next AIDS article?" Carl thought that was a good idea.

  The crowd thickened with Elton John look-alikes from three different decades. One person came in full feather regalia, including feathers on his glasses. Most showed up in colorful jumpsuits, platforms, and outrageous hats. People danced to Elton's music and many used the Karaoke machine to imitate Elton.

  Chelsea and Chris got into the festive spirit and danced the old dances of The Bump and The Hustle to Elton's faster songs. Darla and Craig stayed on the floor through fast and slow dances alike, while Katherine took an occasional turn on the dance floor with Carl.

  "Darla looks great, doesn't she?" Susie commented to Katherine as the two sat at the table resting while Carl walked around taking pictures.

  Katherine looked over at Darla as Kikki Dee. She was thin, but healthy looking, her skin glowing with the glittery makeup she'd applied. Since she'd completed chemotherapy, her hair had begun to grow out and she had permed it into soft curls around her head that now bounced around the glittery headband she wore. The soft red color she'd dyed it complemented her crazy outfit. She was smiling up at Craig as they danced to "The One", their bodies close together. Katherine had never seen Darla look so content with a man.

  "Yes, she does look great," Katherine replied. "And happy."

  Susie coughed and took a sip of water to soothe her throat. She hadn't been feeling well since before Allison's funeral, and Katherine worried about her.

  "Have you been to the doctor lately?"

  "No, I'm fine. Just another sinus infection. He called in a prescription for me last week."

  "Maybe you should go in for a check-up, Susie. It's been a while since you've had your T-cell count checked."

  Susie shook her head. "I'm okay. Don't worry."

  Katherine let it drop.

  Darla came running up to the table and grabbed Katherine's hand. "Come up on stage with me. I want to sing 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'."

  Katherine's eyes widened. "No way! Have Craig do it."

  "He doesn't know the words and you do. Come on, it'll be fun."

  Before Katherine knew it, she was dragged up on stage and Darla shoved a microphone into her hand. Darla started up the Karaoke machine and everyone on the floor began clapping and cheering. "Come on Kikki, sing it to us!"

  "Don't go breaking my heart," Darla began, leaving Katherine no choice but to sing along with all the Elton lines. "I couldn't if I tried," she sang on key. Soon they were both "oo, ooing" and twirling on stage, bumping hips and having a blast as the crowd cheered them on.

  "All right, Mom!" Chelsea hollered out as Chris shook his head and smiled his crooked smile at his own mother. He'd never seen her so wild before.

  "Great job," Jeff told them as they left the stage after the song had ended. "The crowd loved it."

  Katherine was too out of breath to reply. She couldn't remember when she'd had this much fun.

  Susie began to tire and Carl said he was taking her home. Katherine looked at her watch and decided it was time to get the kids home, too. She found Darla by the food table. "It's getting late. I should take the kids home now."

  Darla looked up at the clock on the wall. Her eyes scanned the room and rested on Craig, who was talking with a crowd of Elton look-alikes in the back corner. She turned back to Katherine. "I'd like to stay longer, if you don't mind," she said.

  "That's okay. I'll see you later at home."

  Darla moved her eyes again to Craig. She looked as if she was torn about something.

  "Katherine, I might not come home at all tonight. If I don't, don't be worried, okay?"

  Katherine studied Darla. Her eyes seemed to be looking for approval from Katherine for the decision she was making. Darla had never before questioned staying with a man. But this time was different. This was no one night stand.

  Katherine didn't say a word, she merely nodded her head in understanding, patted Darla's chiffon shoulder, and went to get the kids.

  ***

  Denise was waiting for them as they entered the living room still wearing their hats and glasses and singing Elton songs.

  "Aunt Denise!" Chelsea said excitedly. "You should have seen Mom and Aunt Kathy tonight. They were great!"

  Denise turned questioning eyes on Katherine. She didn't look amused by their late homecoming. "Where were you tonight?"

  "We went to an Elton John dance for the AIDS fundraising group," Katherine said. "Everyone dressed like Elton and all the music was his, too."

  "And Mom dressed up like someone named K
ikki Dee and she and Aunt Kathy got up on stage and sang a duet. They were singing and dancing and bumping and everything." Chelsea started dancing around the living room, singing her own version of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart", ending with a lively bump on Katherine's hips. She was laughing so hard, she could barely stand up.

  "Sounds like fun," Denise said, but her tone implied the opposite.

  "It's late," Katherine told the kids. "Better get up to bed."

  Chelsea complied, dancing all the way up with Chris tagging along behind, a funny smile on his face.

  Katherine set down the glasses and hat she'd been wearing and came around to the other side of the sofa where Denise had been watching the news. Denise continued to stand with her arms crossed in front of her.

  "I thought you and Gary went out tonight," Katherine said, feeling the tension but keeping her voice light.

  "He was called in on an emergency. I came home at seven."

  "Too bad we didn't know. You could have joined us. It was a fun time."

  "Obviously."

  Katherine stared at Denise as she sat on the sofa. She could tell by the tone of her voice that she was angry, but couldn't imagine why. "What's the matter, Denise? Why are you mad?"

  "I'm not mad," Denise insisted too quickly. "It's just that I came home early and no one was here. I thought maybe you and I could go to a movie or something. We never do anything together anymore."

  Katherine gave her a funny look. They hadn't gone out together on their Saturday nights for some time, but it was usually because Denise was busy with Gary. Katherine didn't even plan on it anymore.

  "I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be coming home early. Darla invited me and the kids and it sounded like fun. The kids had a blast."

  Denise made an exaggerated motion of looking around the room. "And just where is Darla, anyway? I didn't hear her come in with you."

  "She decided to stay longer with Craig," Katherine said softly.

  "Longer? It's already eleven. How late is she staying there?"

 

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