“I told you, Penny. Brandon paid that debt to buy me, to control me. He got me sacked, he lied to Purdy’s, not me. Have you forgotten everything I ever told you?”
“No, I remember, but recently I’ve seen the light.”
“And is that light six foot tall and called Brandon Lynes by any chance?”
That threw her. She’d gone for a pre-emptive strike to leave me reeling and didn’t expect any riposte but I was hurting, and I was sick of taking punches without sending any back. I’d had weeks of it by then.
“You lady, are a selfish, neurotic bitch hurting everyone around you,” was all she could come up with.
“Wow, you are so not the person I thought you were, Penny… Gossip really is so very important to you. Even when it’s not true.”
“Hah. It’s not just me, Ashley. Everyone is saying what a class A bitch you are.”
I put on the brave face and pretended to suck it up with a casual shrug. That explained all the whispers in the lecture.
“And you made that happen, didn’t you Penny? Do want to know my response to those people who judge me without knowing the facts?”
Penny shifted her bag on her shoulder and throw her hair back. She was getting ready to dash off.
“They can go and screw themselves. Every single one of them. And that includes you.”
“Charmed,” said Penny, turning away down the corridor.
I waited until she was out of earshot and then I howled in frustration. Just one quick violent howl while no one was around. It came from the depths of my body straight up and out of my mouth. I was shaking when I finished, shaking with rage at the injustice of it all. I was totally lost and so alone I almost felt in pain. Penny and Brandon had done a job on me before I could even get started on getting my freedom. I was no nearer getting Cody to hear my true feelings. I was trapped and there was no way out. What the hell could I ever do to turn this around? No one believed me.
They wanted to crush me. They wanted me to feel so bad that I would implode and do Brandon’s bidding. No matter how bad I felt, no matter what he tried on me I was determined not to bow or lose my head. What could I do? I could work to find a way to get away from Brandon, I could find some way to reach Cody, and find a way to give Brandon a taste of what he’d given me… I had no choice but to try.
Three
Luke didn’t see me the rest of that afternoon, because I went straight to the one place he wouldn’t have looked – my prison, Brandon’s home. I dreaded Brandon being there. I was ready for the fight of my life. It was coming, I knew it was, but Brandon was still away from home and college. Whatever was keeping him had to be good. I stormed in with the spare key Brandon had forced on me. I passed Amanda who was sitting studying at the kitchen table. She saw me but I didn’t give her enough time for a wise-arse comment. I went to Brandon’s room and snatched up my holdall and unzipped it. I grabbed everything I owned. Because of my sleeping arrangements most of it was already packed. I snatched up my perfume, my make-up bag and a half stack of books I’d left during the first sweet days of the affair. The reminder of those days made me feel bad and embarrassed. How could I have believed that Brandon was the man he seemed back then? Yet people like Penny still did…
There was a knock at Brandon’s door and I froze. It took me a second to remember that Brandon would never knock on his own door.
“Yeah?” I looked up from my holdall and swallowed my heart back down my throat.
The door swung inwards and Amanda stood in the doorway, watching me. She was dressed in her home clothes today - joggers and a vest, the way I’d seen her dress on Sundays. She looked grim, with serious eyes, but because I usually got the worst of all her bad moods, so it was nothing new to me. I waited a little while for the shot across my bows and then I just carried on packing. I didn’t have time for Amanda’s histrionics.
“You’re leaving. Again.”
“Looks like it. Only this time I’m not broadcasting my destination. I don’t need my two biggest fans doing a repeat performance of York. Having said that, I think you can only ruin a girl’s life once like that. You’ll have to think of some new tricks.”
Amanda sighed.
“You want some help packing?” said Amanda.
“Why not? For the first time ever we have something in common, right? We both want me out of here.”
“That’s a part of it,” said Amanda, with a flat sounding voice.
“Fine. You can fill me in on the rest as we pack…”
“Where’s all your other stuff?” asked Amanda, looking around.
“I left most of it at my old place… but who knows? Bess has probably Ebayed it all by now.”
“But you must have more than this?”
“Try the bathroom. You’ll know what’s mine.”
She walked away with her arms folded like she was in a sulk, but strangely I felt the sulking wasn’t directed at me. I was entirely packed. I did a once over of Brandon’s room and briefly considered trashing the place, but lately he’d been pretty good at trashing it himself. His room had degraded from a sophisticated male boudoir for deflowering pretty female students to a fifteen year old boy’s bedroom. I shook my head at the unmade bed, the clothes tossed across the floor and walked out of his room for the final time. By already playing all his devastating aces, by ruining my reputation and taking away Cody for good, Brandon had ensured that I had nothing left. Now the only way was up. I was burning with anger, but I was also free. I dumped my holdall by the front door and went to find Amanda.
Amanda was gathering all my little bottles, my moisturiser, my fake Bare Minerals, the works, and bagging them far more neatly than I ever would. Her mind was elsewhere for sure.
“What’s up, Amanda? You’re bagging my kit like it belongs to royalty. It doesn’t, I assure you. Come on. I need to get out of here.”
“Yeah… Sorry.” She looked at me and her voice changed. “You know, I actually admire you, really.”
“Is that so? Do you always lie to, and generally betray, all the people you admire in your life…?”
“Ashley, I’ve made some very bad choices…”
“Correction, Amanda, and forgive me rubbing this in, but you are still making them. What you did to me last week- that was just unbelievable…”
Amanda stopped packing and looked at me, her eyes big and sparkly like a kid in a movie about to cry. I didn’t need this, not now…
“I know, Ashley. I’m in a mess. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Sorry didn’t even put a one penny down-payment on the horrific injustice she’d caused me, but I didn’t say that. She was teetering on the brink. “Yeah, so you should be, Amanda. When I first saw you I had your crew down as the college cool kids, the ones everybody else wanted to be like or be with. If only everyone knew what life was really like in your crew…”
“I think that too, sometimes. The people, the girls, they just see his face and his physique, don’t they…? They never actually see what he’s capable of.”
I looked at Amanda and I was so very glad I was leaving. My self-respect was still mostly intact. Mostly. Amanda’s was all shot to pieces.
“Listen to me, Amanda. You’ve still got a choice. You’ve got a brain. You made it to university, and that takes hard work, guts and determination. I know that. So listen up. You can use all those same traits that got you here to get out of this rut and leave that man for dust. Brandon is a prick, an outrageous prick. And I don’t even care if this is some kind of loony double-think trap and you intend to tell him what I said, because it’s all true. He’s done a good job on you, but don’t let him finish it. Don’t let Brandon make you believe that you’re a nothing. Not ever.”
She stood in the hail of my tirade and looked shell-shocked when I’d finished. I took the carrier bag out of her hand, grabbed my electric toothbrush, dropped it in and turned away.
“I’m done here, Amanda. I hope you make the same decision yourself someday soon.”
<
br /> I got to the bottom of the steps. When I’d made it to the front door I heard her call my name. I turned round.
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t deserve any of this… did you, Ashley?” she said.
“I know I didn’t. That’s the difference between you and me, Amanda,” I said. I opened the door and walked out into the street welcoming the cold polluted air into my nostrils. I was happy with relief. But it was a temporary high. I walked along the street enjoying it, but I didn’t realise just how temporary it was until I saw Brandon and Luke step out of a parked car just in front of me.
“Busted!” said Luke.
“No!” I shouted. “Leave me alone. We are done. Through! We were done a long time ago, only you were too psycho to realise it!” Brandon was wearing sunglasses again. He looked pale, vampire-like with his silent moodiness and pale skin.
“We knew you’d try something, Ashley. Luke was sure you’d run today,” said Brandon. “Here, let me help you with that.” He snatched the holdall out of my hand and threw it on his back. Luke locked his car. I looked at Luke with the same level of hatred I’d previously reserved for Brandon.
“Keep my stuff. Keep it, I’ll just go without it,” I said.
“You’re not thinking clearly, honey,” said Brandon.
“Don’t call me, honey, not ever again. Since when did you think clearly?”
“You’re forgetting everything I said. Come on. Come home and I’ll remind you.”
“You mean your threats? They don’t mean anything now. You’ve used them all up.”
Brandon grinned. “I wouldn’t ever threaten you, Ashley. I care about you too much. But I mean it, you need to hear me out before you leave, okay?”
They blocked my way. I could have screamed, but this was South East London. People would have seen what they needed to see, a domestic, something personal, something not to get involved in. When people see anger and violence in public, they make excuses, they see what they want to. With a bitterly sad feeling and burning resentment I turned back towards the flat.
“That’s my girl,” said Brandon.
We got back to the flat and Brandon gave Luke my bag. “Put that in my room, will you Luke?”
Brandon stood guarding the door with his arms folded. Right then he would have made a good actor in a Terminator movie. Amanda stood up from the kitchen table, her mouth dropping open as she looked at Brandon and then me.
Brandon turned on her and jabbed a finger in the air. “Did you help her do this?”
Amanda said nothing, her lips moved but said nothing. “Well, did you? Come on, tell me?” he said.
“Leave it, Brandon. Stop throwing your weight around. She didn’t help me. Of course she didn’t. She tried to stop me again. She always tries to stop me.” I made a scowling face as I looked at her, but softened my eyes the moment they connected. She was fragile and I saw her gratitude behind a glossy wall of tears which were waiting to fall at any time.
“So you forgot something, Ashley. Can you remember what it is?” he said, dripping with arrogance.
I wasn’t going to engage him in any kind of conversation.
“I’ll give you a clue then. Now, that you’re back home with me again, I won’t have to go and visit your family, will I? Remember?” There it was. The final threat. He was right, in my haste I’d forgotten the lousiest threat of them all. I narrowed my eyes at him and bustled into the kitchen to fetch myself a drink. This situation was hell on earth. I was a modern day prisoner, yet in the final analysis no damage had yet been done. My family was still safe. I had to stay put. Yet I knew I had to fight Brandon, fight him with all my heart, and find some help… because if it turned out I wasn’t strong enough to beat him, I would need someone else to step in to protect my family…
Four
After a week of surveillance and high pressure intimidation I finally made it to the weekend, an oasis in the middle of my troubles. By now they had no real reason to watch me. They believed I was broken. Primed by Penny and Brandon the gossips continued to peddle their lies about me, and in every lecture and seminar I felt curious and condemning eyes on me. Life wasn’t easy at college, but it was better than being at Brandon’s house. Brandon received nothing from me but the cold shoulder, but honestly, it was kind of difficult to keep up being so hard and cold- even with Brandon. Ignoring someone you live with at close quarters is incredibly difficult. I guess that’s how Stockholm Syndrome works – eventually you forget this terrible person is your captor. Maybe you forget for a just moment at first, and you talk to them like a friend or a family member and then as your guard drops your captor gets closer still. I was committed to ignoring Brandon, but we had once been lovers and the memory somehow lingered, along with all the resentment I owed him. Every time he approached me I worked hard to close him down. And I kept sleeping on the living room sofa. All week I lived in self-defence and protected my boundaries. When the weekend finally came, Brandon went on another one of his secret missions. This time he took Luke with him, so I guessed he trusted Amanda enough to be his eyes and ears, but thankfully it turned out that Brandon was badly wrong. Having spent time near her for weeks by now, I knew Amanda was losing it.
Since I stuck up for her with Brandon I saw she was changing. She was less cold with me. By Thursday night she deigned to eat with me in the front room. On Friday Brandon and Luke went out for the weekend and took bags with them. They were excited and it was all a big hush, like I cared that they were going away to get wasted and pick up girls. All I cared about was that when Brandon was gone I could relax a little. That Friday night Amanda cooked some of her strange vegetarian goo and offered me a plateful. It was the first time I’d ever eaten Quinoa, and I think it’ll be the last. But I ate it anyway because she was in a bad place and I wanted some peace.
After the Quinoa she brought in a bottle of wine and two glasses. I could tell she wanted to talk, and probably offload a zillion Brandon related problems. I wasn’t in the mood but hey, everyone else in the world was ignoring me. Even conversation with a girl who used to hate me qualified as worth having. I took a glass and got my ears ready. It started pretty much as I expected. With tales of woe, but the tone soon changed and the wine made it more bearable. I tried to watch the TV but in the end I surrendered and switched it off. I turned toward her and paid attention because there was no alternative.
“Brandon changed his story, like always,” said Amanda, already in full flow. “He claims the reason we live together is just a coincidence, right? Like the past didn’t happen. But I remind him how it happened whenever I can. I met him during A Levels. We lived in the same town, and I knew he liked me but we’d never spoken. He used to look at me across the classroom. I was going out with a guy and he was always dating. All of the girls in our old college wanted him, he just always had those good looks and charisma… but I really didn’t think about dating him until I heard he was going to Smiths College to study English, just like me. I began to think silly thoughts from that point on… maybe we were meant to be. My boyfriend was going to study at Bournemouth. Eventually, I had a coffee with Brandon during a class break and he actually said we should move in together. Bold as brass. Can you believe that? He didn’t even ask me for a date! He just said we’d make great housemates. Unbelievable. But I knew what he really meant, and so did he. He was asking me to be his girlfriend, without saying it – so he didn’t risk rejection, and so my boyfriend wouldn’t feel compromised. He’s a smart little rat, he really is. I ended my relationship with Brett a fortnight after that. Before the summer holidays even started I’d been intimate with Brandon. That summer was great. I was certain we were falling for each other, and then we came here just like we planned. The first few weeks were great… but I soon saw he had a roving eye. Then I saw him with another girl during Fresher’s week. He denied it, but I saw him kissing her, sucking her tonsils out. He disappeared for half a night and we argued like crazy. Not long after that you appeared, and things got
really bad. He started chasing you around.”
“But I didn’t know you two were an item, Amanda. If I did, I would have left him well alone.”
“Couldn’t you guess?” she said, sounding a little snarky, but she checked herself. “I suppose not. He was already keeping me at arms-length by then. He was good at that.”
Amanda poured herself another glass and topped mine up. I didn’t complain.
“All I’m saying is that I’m only here in this flat because we were in a relationship. Half the time Brandon still gives me reason to believe that we still are.”
“You were still having sex with him even when I was supposed to be his girlfriend, right?”
Amanda hesitated, then nodded. “But remember, I was supposed to be with him first. But he’d done a total job on me by then. He told me I was crazy, and that I had gotten everything all wrong”
“Sounds familiar. It’s messy when a hot guy becomes a bastard, right?”
She laughed. “You’re so up front, Ashley, it makes me laugh. I really didn’t like you at first, I mean I hated you with a passion,” she said. I sipped my wine and didn’t say a word. Until this very week I’d seen nothing but hate from her. I shrugged.
Vengeful Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 3 Page 2