by J. A. Pitts
She blushed at that.
“What did you do to him?”
She blushed even deeper. “Punched him in the throat.”
I coughed. Geez. “You could’ve killed him.”
She looked over at me with a fierce look in her eyes. “He was way out of line,” she said, the anger fresh in her voice. “Grabbed me, kissed me. I pushed him away, but he called me a whore because of my hair and said he’d show me how men treated whores.”
My stomach clenched. The Abernathy’s were church people. Mom said Megan had been having trouble with them.
“He’s two years older than me,” she continued. “Big, strong. He was hurting me, had his big hands around my right arm, squeezing real tight, and he grabbed my breasts.” She paused, suddenly out of breath. I knew that feeling, the fight or flight. I was proud that she fought.
“He was laughing, and there were a couple other boys there, watching the doorway to make sure no one interfered.” There was a faraway look in her face then. “I think he’d have really hurt me, laughing about my purple hair and how I deserved what I was getting.”
“Bastard!” I growled.
“For a minute, I thought about letting him, you know. Just giving in and letting him do whatever he wanted. Maybe I did deserve it—”
“Megan, no.” I grabbed her shoulder, but she shrugged and went on.
“—but I thought of you, Sarah. Thought, now what would Sarah do in this situation. He’d ripped my blouse and was trying to get my skirt up around my waist when I just made my choice. I figured it was kill him, or he’d beat me unconscious. So I did the one thing I could think of.”
“Good for you.” I was breathing harder now, my heart racing. Jesus, I hated men like that. What the hell was wrong with people? I was so sick of big folk preying on the smaller ones.
“What happened then?”
She turned to look at me, a look of fierce determination on her face. “Short knuckle strike to the throat.”
There was a look of satisfaction on her face at those words. She’d bested a bully.
“His buddies were quite surprised. Matt stumbled back clutching his throat and fell down onto his knees.”
“Good for you.”
“Then I round-house kicked him in the head.”
I almost laughed. It wasn’t funny, but I imagine he did not see that coming.
“I started screaming at the top of my lungs and the other two bolted, cowards.” She had her hands clenched into fists, her whole body rigid. “I would have totally kicked their asses.”
She trailed off, but I caught the mumbled word, “… pansies”.
I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” I said.
She remained tense for another few seconds, then melted into my arms.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
She pushed back, looking into my face. “I can take care of myself,” she said, suddenly cold. “I don’t need you to protect me.”
Ice pick meet heart. I smiled despite the pain and nodded. “Apparently not. You’ve become quite the warrior.”
The anger that had flashed onto her face fell aside and she quirked up one corner of her mouth. “Yeah, well. He was a jerk.”
“Was he really hurt?”
“Just his pride,” she said. “School expelled him, and he got community service for aggravated assault.”
“What did you get?” I asked, half afraid.
She shrugged. “Grounded for a week and a lot of thanks from girls at school who never used to give me the time of day.”
No telling how many girls the jerk had terrorized, or worse.
“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him,” she said, watching her hands. “Lucky for me, too. I don’t think I could live with myself if I’d killed him.”
I didn’t say anything to that, just sat there for another twenty minutes, holding hands and talking nonsense. I didn’t want to think about who I’d killed.
“Speaking of warrior,” Megan said, pointing to my bike. “Is that a sword?”
I looked over at the Ducati to where Gram was nestled along the side. “Oh, yeah,” I said, grinning.
“Can I see it?”
I shrugged and got to my feet and walked over to the bike. “Sure.” I flipped over the locks and pulled the scabbard and blade away, walked back over and sat down by Megan, holding the scabbard and blade to her.
“Careful,” I said. “She’s sharp.”
Megan grabbed the handle and slid the blade half way out of the sheath. Far enough to see the first couple of runes along the fuller. “Wow,” she said, looking up at me. “This is the real thing. Not for show?”
“Definitely not for show,” I said, smiling at her. “She’s the real deal.”
“Why do you keep calling her she? Does she have a name?”
I held out my hands and she handed the sword to me, handle first. I stood, stepping away from her, and drew the blade free.
“She’s Gram,” I said, holding her in a fighting stance. I doubted the name would really mean anything to her.
“Like Fafnir’s bane?” she asked.
I was surprised. “Good, yes. Like Fafnir’s bane. Where did you hear that?”
“Wagner,” she said, grinning. “We listened to a bit of it in school, so I read up a bunch. Dragons and gods and lightning and such.”
I slipped Gram back into her sheath and sat down again, holding her across my lap. “World is full of crazy things,” I said. “I like to have a little insurance, and I don’t like guns.”
She watched my face, studying me. “You were in that movie last year, right? The one where all those people died?”
“Not in,” I said. “I’m the props manager. I deal with the equipment and such.”
She just nodded, thinking. “Interesting.” I could see wheels turning in her head. Did she suspect something?
We chitchatted about nothing for another ten minutes. Eventually Dennis got out of his car and called over to us. He could get her back to town and drop her off at the Tae Kwon Do school in time for our parents to pick her up, if they hurried. Save a lot of grief.
We said our goodbyes and I watched her get in his car and drive away. She was crying again, but the tears were mixed with her beautiful smile.
Why the hell had I stayed away so long. I’d missed a lot of really good years with that one. I was so proud of her.
She was facing her demons, not like me.
I gripped Gram, the pommel feeling natural in my palm. Some things could not be solved with hammer or sword. Sometimes the only way to win was to give up the fight.
All in all it was a fucking awesome visit. I just wish I could’ve shared it with Katie. Hell, I hadn’t been out to Black Briar for a few days. It just made me feel so damned useless.
Powerless and useless. Not two of my favorite things.
But I’d go back out to Black Briar and visit Katie. It hurt to be that close to her and not be able to talk with her, to see her smile.
But I could be there for her all the same. Talk to her, tell her about stuff. Maybe it would bring her some peace?
Forty-six
I took Jai Li out to Black Briar twice the next week. Nothing had really changed since Katie had gone into that seizure. The fact it happened around the time I was lost in the Sideways was no coincidence. I hated that I didn’t know anyone who was an expert on this. Would have been nice to just sit down and ask questions. It reminded me that we were connected, at least. Maybe me, maybe the diary. But there was something there.
I also started jogging again. I needed the physical release, and my legs and lungs were damn unhappy with me for a while. After my run on Monday, I showered, grabbed some coffee, and took Jai Li to the park for a couple of hours. She was a fiend for the slides and the merry-go-round. I shouldn’t have bothered to get up and jog that morning, I did enough running around in circles keeping that contraption spinning or running under her as I pushed her on the swing. She liked
that the most, me pushing her so high she could see above the top of the swing set. Girl loved to be excited.
We had grilled cheese with roasted peppers and tomato soup with Edith once we got back to the farm. Julie was working a small farm out in Redmond and Mary was in town picking up some things from the Grange. She had three mares in foal, and Julie had two. There was much excitement around here on that subject. Jai Li was disappointed that the baby horses wouldn’t be showing up until next March, but that’s how horses were.
I completely missed the breeding part of the whole thing, but I’ve seen it before. There were no stallions on the farm as it was. Mary knew a woman she trusted who had a good breeding stallion. Jai Li missed all that as well. Edith thought she was too young to be watching such things. We agreed of course, but I doubt it would have mattered too much. Edith was a cranky old bird when she wanted to be. Good thing she loved Jai Li or I’d be concerned.
Lunch was pleasant enough, but my mind was elsewhere. I’d decided to head down to see Megan again, and I needed to get on the road down toward Mt. Rainier and Crescent Ridge.
I told Jai Li I was going to visit Megan and she wanted to go. I wasn’t ready for that. If I wasn’t taking Katie, I sure wasn’t ready to take my foster daughter. Too much crazy there. We colored a while and read a few books before I had worked up enough courage to take off. I was taking the bike. Felt like the better option.
I wanted to feel the wind. I had this haunting memory of riding Meyja, the winged horse. And thinking of her made me think of Gunnr, the hot Valkyrie who I’d met a year ago. That was another pleasant, if guilty memory.
Jai Li conked out on the couch listening to Mozart and I boogied. Edith warned me to be careful and I was off. The bike was in the garage with the tractors. I kept her covered when I wasn’t riding her. Kept the dust and such off. I made sure my hammers, energy bars, and water were in the saddlebags and slipped Gram into the rig on the side of the Ducati. I was ready for war. I just hoped it didn’t come down to that. Things were quiet on that front and it made me nervous. I had a feeling like a storm was coming. There was trouble brewing, I just couldn’t place it.
I pulled my helmet on as I straddled the bike. With a quick twist of the key and a likely unnecessary torque of the accelerator, I started the bike, letting it growl between my thighs. That was a moment of heaven.
I kept the throttle low until I got off the farm. Once I had the gate shut behind me and the open country road ahead of me, I opened that mother up and screamed down the asphalt. That was living. I loved how the adrenalin cranked through me as the speedometer spiked past seventy and headed upward past eighty to just above ninety before I backed off.
I stopped in Puyallup at a welding supply shop I’d read about—mom and pop outfit, but well stocked. I spent some time browsing the shelves. I needed to kill some time until the first classes at the Tae Kwon Do school.
Didn’t want to get into town too early. Couldn’t risk running into the folks at the grocery or something. Around three-thirty I got back on the bike. I had three brochures for various pieces of welding gear in my saddlebags and a nice warm “thanks for coming” to speed me on my way. I needed to expand my tool kit. Welding was something I was okay at. Practicing it would be a good idea. These folks were nice enough to give my money to, I’d definitely be back.
I got into Crescent Ridge fifteen minutes early, so I sat in the parking lot in the back by the Dairy Queen and waited for the Tae Kwon Do school to open. The school parking lot turned into a circus as dozens of cars cruised around—parents dropping off their kids mostly. I lost count of the cars and didn’t always have a clear view of the doors, so I didn’t see Megan show up. More the better, means I didn’t risk seeing da either.
The school was doing a good business. There were at least two different classes going on at all times, and by the look of the parent-parade, they would be pretty full.
Megan was supposed to teach today, so I was hoping to catch her. I walked into my old dojang at straight up four-thirty. Sa Bum Nim Choi, the chief instructor was leading a class of young kids, six to eleven year olds and didn’t notice that I entered. I remembered that class from when I taught. Not the same kids, though I was pretty sure I would run into some I knew if I hung out long enough. They’d be a lot older now.
“Good evening,” a male voiced said through my haze of memory.
I looked over to see this young boy, fifteenish, sitting at the front desk manning the phones. “Anything I can help you with?”
God he was young. But the black on his belt let me know he knew his stuff. Sa Bum Nim Choi didn’t promote you unless you were damn good and ready to move up.
“Mind if I watch the class?”
He shrugged and turned his attention back to the computer on the desk. At least his return to being a bored teenager wasn’t that far from the surface.
I slipped out of my boots, bowed past the desk, and crept down the aisle between the wall and the railing, along the long row of benches. Butterflies battled in my abdomen, and the runes on my calf itched. I was totally wired to run. Being back in the school after all these years was nerve-wracking. I had a lot of history here, so much respect and reverence. Yet another place I missed.
I sat on the bench, cross-legged, and watched the kids go through their forms. My muscles ached to be out there. After a few minutes, Sa Bum Nim Choi noticed me and paused in her counting. The class faltered and turned around to follow her open-mouthed stare. The old woman didn’t move for a full thirty seconds, then clapped her hands, calling her assistant instructor over to lead the children through their first Ki Bone.
“Ms. Beauhall,” Sa Bum Nim said, her voice as thin as her lips. That was not the face of joy.
I stood quickly and bowed. “Sa Bum Nim. How are you?”
She looked me up and down, starting and ending at my hair.
“I see you have taken on a new look since I saw you last.”
Damn, it was like I was fifteen all over again, being tested for a belt.
“Times change, people change.” Not my wittiest, but the woman made my brain freeze up.
She walked toward the front of the school and bowed off the floor, then she came and sat beside me, watching her class. “You have been missed in this school.”
We watched the class for a few minutes in silence.
“Where’s Megan?” I asked.
She turned her head to look at me. I never realized how old she was. The lines around her eyes and mouth spoke of more years than I was prepared to ever see. The face was kind, that much I remembered. Firm and supportive.
“Ms. Beauhall, the younger, has called in sick once again,” she said, the ice in her voice a familiar enough sound. “I fear she has not been keeping up her obligations as of late.”
That was odd. Megan adored this school and that boy who’d given her a ride home said she was well thought of here. Her home away from home. Why was she ditching? Unless she was really sick or something?
“What happened to her?” I asked, my heart leaping into my throat. “She’s not hurt or anything, is she?”
Choi shrugged her thin, bony shoulders. “Not to my knowledge. Your mother stopped in this afternoon to pay her tuition and she seemed to be unconcerned.”
Ditching then. That was totally uncool. I never ditched teaching. “Must be something pretty bad if she’s called in sick,” I said, hoping she’d agree.
She didn’t. “Megan has struggled more than usual these last few months. Her behavior has grown more erratic and her temper has become a bit of a problem.”
“Worse than me?” I asked.
She studied me for a moment and patted me on the arm. “Sarah, you always put the training first and foremost in your life. Even when you warred with your father, you did not allow that to interfere with your responsibilities.”
So, Megan was distancing herself from the school.
“I was hoping to see her tonight. I saw her last week, did she tell you?”
“Oh, yes.” She got up, stepped to the rail and corrected two of the students, showing them the correct hand position for the form basic they were practicing.
“I really need to get back to my class,” she said, shooing the children back to their group. “With Megan skipping out tonight, I’m down an assistant.”
“Sure,” I said, shrugging. “Thanks for talking to me.”
I stood, but Sa Bum Nim took me by the elbow and followed me to the front of the school. “Sarah, I worry about you. There are things in the news, rumors of dangerous people, and now I see you ride a motorcycle.” She pointed to the helmet I’d left on the seats by the front door with my boots. “Your behavior is reckless. Are you doing okay?”
I loved this woman, trusted her with every fiber of my being. But how did you tell your old Tae Kwon Do instructor you killed a dragon? Would she really understand? There had been nothing I couldn’t tell her when I was growing up.
“You should come back to the floor,” she said, patting me on the arm. “You could do with a bit of discipline in your life. An hour or two a week where the mind settled and the body relaxed into the flow of the form.”
I started to say something, but I couldn’t find the words. Crescent Ridge was over an hour from home, and further if we moved north.
“I can’t,” I started, but she shook her head and smiled.
“You left me once already, I don’t need to relive those moments.”
I felt the heat flashing up my neck and across my face. I hated leaving here, this was the one safe place when home was unbearable.
“Megan will follow you sooner than we all expected,” she said. “You need to speak with her, go see your family.”
I shrugged, fighting with the words that stuck in my throat. I couldn’t, and she knew it. Knew the things I fled from.
“He’s a good man,” she said, stepping away from me. “He is frightened and lonely. You do not know how deeply he grieves for your distance.”
Did she talk to da? They never did when I lived at home. Or did she?
“Your mother told me that you have some nice friends in your life, and that you are seeing someone.”