I told Kevin about the money I had saved. Tyrone said he would take out a second mortgage on the house and Kevin said he would put up the rest.
Mr. Ballard explained what was going to happen next. I was going to go to the police and surrender and they would process me. I would be arraigned and formally charged and bail would be set, then from there we would go to trial. He also said there may be media attention, because of the coverage the shooting received before. Plus, I was the mother of Kevin’s child and his former girlfriend.
Two days later when I turned myself in at the Central Division of the Philadelphia Police Department, there were swarms of reporters waiting. As soon as we got out of the car, the bright camera lights started flicking and flashing. Kevin, Mr. Ballard, and Tyrone pushed me past the media frenzy. I heard different voices shouting out, “Why did you run?” “Where were you?” “Why did you come back now?”
Once inside the building, I felt tears begin to roll down my face. I hugged Tyrone and said good-bye to Kevin. I walked toward the officer, turned around, and they placed handcuffs on my wrists and walked me through an open door into the jail.
I was processed. First I was fingerprinted, then I had to have my mug shot taken. I had to look directly into the camera and then turn to the side. It was so humiliating. Mr. Ballard said the entire process should not take more than twenty-four to forty-eight hours for my arraignment and bail hearing. It was my first hour, and already I was ready to go home. They took me to my cell. It held a small, moss green metal bed and a toilet. It smelled, and I noticed I would be sharing my cell with a big giant water bug.
I was only in the cell for a few minutes and already it felt like an eternity. I stood up and walked around and then tried to look down the hall. I knew I had to get all of this over with in order to move on, but already I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision.
Another half hour went by and they brought in a woman with a short haircut like a man.
She said, “What’s up?” I gave her a faint Hey back.
“I’m Keisha,” she said, trying to shake my hand.
“Tanisha.”
“So what are you in here for?” she asked.
“Um, a gun charge and shooting.”
“Yo, for real. You don’t look like you have gunplay. I’m in here for busting a bottle upside a stupid bitch’s head. Stupid bitch works for me and came short with my money.” She laughed.
“Oh, so you are like a madam?”
“No, a pimp. They have women pimps. I have better hoes than most men. Someone is always hating. Like whoever called the cops. But they ain’t got nothing on me. They couldn’t find her or the bottle I hit her with, but still booked me.”
Keisha wasn’t really that gangsta. After an hour or so she started telling me about how her mother left her and her father—and her father’s mother—beat her, so she left home at thirteen. She shared a lot, so I opened up about what happened to me. She told me I had nothing to worry about and that it was self-defense and I would get off. She was real knowledgeable. I told her I already had an attorney, but she still wanted to recommend hers—an attorney named Stephanie Westcoat.
“If I put you down with this bitch, she is going to get you off. She is a bad bitch. You feel me? I mean, you could have had the gun right there, fingerprints on the gun, eyewitnesses see you pull the trigger, and she can still get you off. You should call her.” I took her information as if I would call. I continued to make small talk with her. She looked very scary, but after getting to know her I could tell she was just a product of her environment.
I lost track of time. I knew every time I fell asleep, I was startled awake and felt like I was going to fall. I would look down at my watch, thinking I had been sleeping forever, and had only been sleeping for forty-five minutes. Keisha was on the floor, back against the wall, sleeping soundly like she was home. I told her I saw a few roaches down there. She said it didn’t bother her and the only time she got good rest was when she was in jail.
Roughly two days later, Keisha, me, and everyone else who was waiting to be arraigned were led into the courtroom. I saw Kevin and Tyrone. They both looked very concerned. Just seeing the judge I got a little nervous. Keisha turned into a gangsta boo when we got in the courtroom. Her attitude changed. Her case was the first to be heard. I was waiting to see her high-profile attorney, but she was not there. The only person there to represent her was a public defender.
Her charges were read by the court. “Keisha Hardison is being charged with aggravated assault and possession of an instrument of crime.”
“Your Honor, she has several priors. And she is a danger to society. She has two pending cases for aggravated assault. She should not be released on bail, Your Honor,” the district attorney said. Her public defender didn’t object, and she didn’t get bail. I looked over to her to see if she was upset. She just stood up straight and gave the courtroom a mean poker face. Then the next three ladies after her were denied bail. There was a real chance that I was going to be stuck in jail.
The DA began to read off all my charges. “Tanisha Butler is being charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, simple assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, and leaving the scene of a crime.” He read off so many charges, like I was a really bad, horrible criminal.
“We are asking for bail, Your Honor,” Mr. Ballard said.
The district attorney interrupted and said, “We request that bail be denied because the defendant is a flight risk, Your Honor.”
“My client is not a flight risk. She willingly turned herself in.”
“I will grant bail. Bail is set at two hundred thousand dollars.”
As we were led out of the courtroom I began to tear up. I knew no one had two hundred thousand dollars readily available and I was going to be stuck in jail.
“What are you crying for? At least you made bail,” Keisha said.
“Who has two hundred thousand?”
“You only have to come up with ten percent of that. That’s only twenty thousand. Just make sure that your people get down here before five, or you are going to have to spend the night in the county jail. And you are a nice person. I wouldn’t want to see you up there. Not even for one night. You know I gotcha—wouldn’t let anyone fuck with you.”
Keisha was scaring me, telling me how bad the jails were. I didn’t want to go there at all. Luckily, I didn’t have to. Kevin paid my bail in full and I was released.
It will be a month to wait before we go to preliminary trial to see if this case will stick. In the meantime I had to just sit and pray and hope that everything would work itself out. There was so much I wanted to do and start. Everyone was getting used to having me around again. I’ve been making dinner and spending time catching up with my children. The other day when Kierra came home from school and I wasn’t there, she went screaming and hollering around the house. Tyrone didn’t know what was wrong until I came through the door and she said, “I thought you left again. Mommy, please don’t ever leave me again.” It was going to be hard to get everyone to forget that I was gone for a year.
Chapter 18
Adrienne
I was tired as hell. I had just worked a double and I just wanted to get in the shower and go to sleep. I didn’t feel like working out at 12 a.m., but I had to get my one hour in. Losing weight is an essential part of my plan to get DeCarious back.
Dina told me about these Chinese diet pills that her sister-in-law took to lose sixty-three pounds. She brought them into work, and I looked at the bottle and couldn’t understand anything that was written on it. All of the writing was in gold Chinese letters.
“I am not taking pills when I don’t even know what the bottle says,” I said.
“I’m telling you, she took them and she is so skinny now—and she was really fat. All you’re trying to lose is a few pounds. They work and they are safe. She got them right from Chinatown,” Dina said, then she pulled up her sister-in-law’s before-and-after pictures on her Facebook page.
It was a big improvement, but I wasn’t taking them.
Another week went by and I only lost two pounds. That was good normal weight loss, but I needed fast results. I needed to lose like eight pounds a week. I thought about the Chinese diet pills, but I didn’t want to ask Dina to bring them to work again. So I drove to Chinatown in search of the magic pills. There was a big red, gold, green awning with yellow dragon heads, I parked and then I stopped at what looked to be an herbal store. I went in and asked for diet pills. The woman shook her head and spoke in her language, and a young Chinese girl came out and said, “Hi, may I help you?”
“I’m looking for diet pills.”
“What kind of diet pills?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. I just know they are in a white bottle with gold writing.”
She walked over a few aisles and said, “Are you talking about these?”
“Yes, that’s them,” I said as I studied the bottle. “Do you know if they work? And what does it say on the bottle?”
“They’re just diet pills and they work. I haven’t taken it, but I heard about girls who have. You need this tea also. You take the tea right after you eat dinner. You only need the tea once a week.” We walked up front, she talked to the other woman in Chinese, and then the lady rang me up.
I was so excited. If that big fat lady lost all that weight, I was sure to get skinny fast. I needed to be Mrs. Simmons, so I had to get this excess fat off my ass before my next trip to Atlanta. Therefore I was going to do anything and everything, including taking pills that I couldn’t read the ingredients of. They couldn’t sell me anything that would kill me.
I went home and made some of the tea so I could get ahead of the game. I was going to start the pills tomorrow.
Taking the tea was not a good decision. The tea did something crazy to my insides. My mouth was watering and I was weak. It felt like a little man was inside my stomach bouncing around. Let’s just say I had to make half a dozen trips to the bathroom. The next day I had to call out of work and call my mom to come and get Asia to take her to school.
However, later that evening I felt much lighter. I felt like I lost twenty pounds in one day. I didn’t lose twenty pounds, but I was down five pounds already. I felt energized and was going to head for the gym.
Chapter 19
Adrienne
In two weeks my clothes were falling off. Everyone at work had noticed the thirteen pounds I had already lost. It wasn’t time to buy a new wardrobe just yet, but I did look nice. The Chinese pills jump-started everything, but they made me jittery, so I stopped taking them. However, now I was a regular on the elliptical and treadmill at the gym. I’m just a few pounds away from my slim-fitting size sixes. I just hope DeCarious takes notice. I was going to do everything in my power to show him I was the woman for him.
I had DeCarious before and I can get him again with careful planning, hard work, and dedication. All I have to do is be extra nice to him, kill him with kindness, and let him believe I’ve changed.
I flew into Hartsfield and picked up my rental car. I didn’t want to rely on DeCarious and I didn’t want to be stuck in the house again.
“Hi, Miss Anne,” I said as I came in the house with Malaysia in one arm and my suitcase in the other. She took Asia and said, “Oh, look at my precious baby. You down here to visit Ma-Ma again.” Asia smiled back at her as she took off her jacket and said, “How you doing, Adrienne? DeCarious, I guess he will be back. He went out a few hours ago.”
“Okay,” I said.
After I settled in I sat at the kitchen island and watched as she prepared dinner and played with Asia. We didn’t really talk that much during that last visit. I was going to make it my business this time to get her to like and understand me. “You need any help, Miss Anne?”
“No.”
“What are you cooking?”
“Macaroni and cheese and a roast.”
“That’s Asia’s favorite food.”
“She looks like her daddy. That’s for sure,” Miss Anne said, smiling.
“I think she acts like DeCarious sometimes. Nice, but sometimes she is stubborn.”
“Yes, she does get that from her daddy. He can be mean and stubborn if he wants to be,” she said.
“And that’s all Asia is saying right now too—Da-Da. All day long.”
“Oh, wait till DeCarious hears her say Da-Da. He is going to be so happy.”
“Oh, let me show you the pictures, Miss Anne, that were taken at her day care.”
She wiped her hands on her apron and then put her reading glasses on. “Oh, she looks so pretty. You are definitely a Simmons baby,” she said, tickling Asia. “Which one can I have?”
“All of them. Oh, and I brought something for me and Asia to wear to church with you on Sunday.”
“Oh, you did. You’re really going to come out?” She got so excited and her demeanor changed drastically. “You will enjoy it. My pastor is a young, dynamic pastor. He knows the Word, but he brings new life to it for the younger generation. You are really going to like it.” I don’t really care about her pastor, I thought. I just was trying to win points with her, by any means. Her being one of my supporters was essential to getting DeCarious back.
I heard DeCarious come in the house accompanied by Rock. Malaysia saw her daddy and became excited, extending her arms to go to her father and trying to run to the door. He came in and picked Malaysia up, gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, but barely spoke to me, even though I was dressed and looked beautiful.
“Where are you coming from?” Miss Anne said.
“The studio, Aunt Anne,” Rock said.
“You staying for dinner, Rock?”
“No, I have to go back to the studio and make sure everything gets handled.” Thank God, good-bye, I thought as Rock headed for the door. Now that Rock was gone DeCarious could pay attention to me. I hoped he noticed my new shape. I sashayed over to him.
“DeCarious, I got Asia’s pictures taken,” I said as I reached over his shoulder, letting my breast come in contact with his forearm, and handed the pictures to him.
He glanced at them and said, “These are nice. Why didn’t you call me when you got to the airport?”
“I figured you might be busy, so I rented a car—and I can go out if y’all go anywhere this weekend.”
“Makes sense,” he said, not looking up at me and still giving Asia all his attention. So I walked back past DeCarious again and over to the sink.
“Girl, what are you doing? Why are you so skinny again?” Miss Anne said.
“I’m not so skinny.” DeCarious looked over at me. He still didn’t say anything, but I could tell he noticed, too.
“You are skinny—you better get some food.”
“I do eat.”
“Well, not enough. I don’t like skinny. It makes you look like you’re sick. Like you got problems.”
“No, I don’t.”
Over dinner I smiled and was attentive to DeCarious and Asia. If he needed more juice I got up and got it. I laughed at all his jokes and smiled at him. I was very complimentary. When he walked past me in the kitchen to put his plate in the sink, I poked out my butt slightly, just so, so he could get a little feel of what he was missing. I thought I got a rise out of him. I’m also certain I did. He wants me, he just doesn’t know it yet.
As promised, I went to Sunday service with Miss Anne. She was dressed in her big, black-and-white polka-dot hat and this black pleated dress. Her church was a mega church. We had to catch a bus from the parking lot just to get to the front door. Once we entered, I saw rows and rows of stadium-like seating. There was even a balcony. I felt like I was going to see a concert or something. Miss Anne must be important at the church, because the usher sat us in the third row.
The preacher was young and dressed in a burgundy suit. He stood behind the pulpit hyper and screaming. I had no idea what he was saying, but the crowd was excited. My mom was Catholic and the few times she took me to church, they didn�
�t do all this. His preaching was electrifying. I felt like he was talking to me and he made me feel like I could do anything. He talked about how I was born with a purpose and I had roadblocks and things that needed to be lifted, and in order to get it done, I had to let God in and believe in Him to see change. After the preacher finished speaking, the large choir took over and began singing a bunch of songs. It was very interesting.
After service everyone walked up to Pastor Sneed like he was a rock star. Everyone was vying for his attention and wanted to be able to say just one word to him. As members of the congregation walked out, they patted him and said Great service. I was ready to go, but Miss Anne had to be one of the hangers-on. We had to wait damn near fifteen minutes so she could speak with him.
“Sister Anne, how are you doing today?” he said with a gigantic smile.
“I’m great, Pastor Sneed. I want you to meet my granddaughter and her mother, and say that service today was awesome, praise God.” He thanked her, and I was mad because she waited all that time just to tell him that.
When we came in from church, I changed my clothes and helped her clean the greens, chop the cheese for her macaroni and cheese, and season her baked chicken and put it in the oven. She would have to cook and clean the ham hocks and pigs’ feet on her own. I was not touching it.
After several hours of preparation there was a nice Thanksgiving type spread on the table. All Miss Anne seemed to do was cook, eat, and sleep, and then get up and start cooking again. And she got a little bit of church in between.
DeCarious walked in with the same clothes on from the night before. He picked some of the chicken off the bone and said, “Where ya’ll go today?”
“They went to church with me.”
“Church?”
“Yes, church. And stop touching my food when you haven’t washed your hands,” she said as she slapped his hand.
After dinner, I left Asia downstairs and went upstairs. I closed the door to my room and turned on the television. I was bored and tired of playing with Miss Anne. I called Angelique and caught up with her. She said that she dropped Nytika from the inner circle ’cause she was making her look bad. I laughed at her usual animated convo. I then called my mom and took a nap.
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