by Kat Mizera
I worked part-time as a freelance editor for the newspaper I’d worked for in Seattle. I also took on any freelance writing job I could find, but it was sporadic, so I never knew how much money I was making. I also had to pay out of pocket for Gracie’s medical insurance. I didn’t even carry it on myself because it was too expensive. Between regular bills, like my cell phone, car insurance, and car payment, there wasn’t a lot left over at the end of every month. And deep down, I was ashamed that I was twenty-five and relying on my best friend’s new husband to support us.
“Good morning.” Ian and Everly breezed in, looking refreshed and well-rested.
“Hey.” I smiled over at them.
“You two should to go home and shower, change, take a nap, whatever you need,” Everly said. “We’ve got Gracie duty this morning. No arguments.”
I looked at Mack. “Do you think it’s okay if I leave for a few hours?”
“Of course.” She nodded. “She’s fine and I think we’ve got the infection under control. Go get some rest and I’ll see you later. I’m going to go home and take a nap as well.”
“Okay.” I glanced at Tore, who’d come to stand next to me. “Thank you for staying with us last night.”
“Of course.” He met my eyes with that same soft smile from the other day. “Where else would I go? Now let’s get out of here and get something to eat. I’m starving and you owe me a date.”
I chuckled. “Let me say goodbye to Gracie.”
We went to a restaurant near where we lived, and I watched in fascination as Tore ordered almost everything on the menu.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you eat that much,” I said.
“The portions here are small.” He grinned at me.
I took a grateful sip of coffee once the waitress poured it for us, and peered at him over the cup’s rim. Yup. Still the hottest guy I knew.
“You’re thinking about getting me naked, aren’t you.” He said it more like a statement than a question and I nearly spewed my coffee all over the table as I tried not to laugh.
“You’re incorrigible,” I said, shaking my head.
“But am I right?”
“Maybe.” I gave him a little grin. It was hard not to be happy and flirty with Tore. His attitude was infectious and I loved how it was when we were together. Even as friends, he made me feel lighter, as if the weight of the world was that much less when he was with me. And if it was this comfortable as friends, I couldn’t even imagine how it would feel to be romantically involved with him.
I’d tried so hard to avoid it, but this whole date thing had been almost impossible to resist, and the truth, no matter how many excuses I made, was that I liked him. I couldn’t understand why a guy like him, who could have anyone, wanted a boring single mom like me, but he hadn’t let up and it had been a year since we’d met. If nothing else, I appreciated his tenacity.
At first I’d thought it was about sex, but he’d proven me wrong repeatedly. Technically, after Fantasy Night, he’d already gotten me into bed, so if that had been his goal, it had been accomplished. Yet here he was, spending the night in an uncomfortable hospital chair at my daughter’s bedside and taking me to breakfast. At some point, I was going to have to concede that maybe he did like me.
“Well, I had a fun evening planned last night,” he said, “but since you went and messed it up, now we have to find another night to do it.”
“Welcome to my life,” I said lightly, though I met his gaze with a seriousness I hoped he understood. “And Tore, this is my life. Gracie is my life. If you honestly want to date me, she’s going to be a huge part of it and her needs will always come first.”
“I know,” he said, equally serious. “How could I not? You think I’d have stayed with you last night if I didn’t get that?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” I said, my heart swelling with appreciation. “When she’s happy and healthy, I don’t have a problem leaving her with Everly or a sitter, but if something comes up like last night, she’ll always come first.”
“Your four-year-old had a hundred-and-four-degree fever,” he said, frowning. “Even a clueless guy like me understands that.”
“I’m…glad.” I paused as the waitress brought our food, putting down so many plates in front of Tore, I couldn’t help but grin as I stole a piece off the plate of his extra side of bacon. It smelled so good I couldn’t help myself and he just laughed, digging into his eggs.
We talked about nothing as we ate, mostly circling back to Gracie’s situation. As much as I liked him, I was still worried. I didn’t care what she looked like, but I didn’t want her to grow up with scars that would make her stand out. Children could be incredibly cruel and the thought of her being bullied because of the scars on her face made me want to cry.
“Gracie’s got a lot of gumption,” he said. “She’ll power through anything that comes her way. You’ll see. No one is going to bully Princess Penalty Box.”
“Not with a name like that,” I said.
“I can’t wait to get her on skates this winter.”
“You’re insane. She’s going to love it and I can’t skate, which means she’s going to use that very unnecessary phone you bought her to call you and beg you to take her skating. Every. Single. Day.”
“If I’m not working, I’ll take her,” he said. “It’s not a big deal. I wouldn’t have offered if it was.” He paused. “You don’t skate at all? Like not even in a circle at the rink?”
I shrugged. “Well, yeah, that, but not good enough or steady enough to keep myself upright while holding on to someone else.”
“Then I’ll teach you too.”
Our eyes met and I allowed myself to forget all the reasons it was a bad idea for us to get involved. Because Tore was being so good right now.
We finished eating and I checked my phone as we waited to pay the check. Nothing from Everly or Mack, which was a good thing.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Brekken.” The waitress looked chagrined. “Your card was declined.”
A look I couldn’t quite read passed across his face but then it was gone as he dug out his wallet. “Geez, did I forget to pay the bill?” He pulled out an American Express card and handed it to her, putting the other card away. “I’m a dumbass sometimes.”
“I never forget to pay my bills,” I said dryly. “With me it’s just a matter of waiting until I have the money.”
“I don’t have that as an excuse,” he said. “I’m just terrible with money.”
“You should hire a money manager.”
“Probably.”
The waitress brought back the card, Tore signed, and we went out to the parking lot.
“What time do you want me to pick you up?” he asked as we headed toward home.
“You don’t have to stay with us again,” I responded. “I can bring my own car.”
“Don’t be dumb. What kind of uncle would I be if I abandoned Princess Penalty Box now? I’m going to shower and take a power nap. I need to log in to my bank and pay some bills, too, apparently. I can be ready in two hours. How long do you need?”
I hesitated. “Two hours sounds good.”
He pulled into Ian’s driveway. “I’ll see you then.”
Then he leaned over and brushed his lips across mine.
10
Tore
I took a shower when I got home and then sat on the computer trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with my money. Well, I knew where it was going, but I didn’t understand why I always ran out. I made a lot of money. My current contract was two million a year and I didn’t have a mortgage. I lived alone, so I probably could have saved money there, but what I paid for rent really wasn’t bad. I bought a lot of dumb shit, that was for sure, but when else was I going to drive a fucking Ferrari? When I had a wife and kids to lug around? This was the time to live my best life. I was twenty-four, for fuck’s sake.
My excuses felt lame, even to me, as I pulled up my account and saw my checking
account was overdrawn. Again. This had been happening more and more lately and I had to get my spending under control.
It was better during hockey season, which was coming up soon, thank god, but I went nuts during the summer, and this year had been bad. Between the trip to Scotland for Ian’s wedding, their wedding gift, spoiling my brother in Sweden with a new car for his eighteenth birthday, and the hefty price tag for my new country club membership, I’d burned through thousands. Actually, over a hundred thousand.
I grimaced.
What the hell had I been thinking?
Ian’s wedding had been mandatory, and Noah really did need a car, but the country club membership had been frivolous. I really only wanted it for the golf course, and I didn’t do much golfing once hockey season started. I shouldn’t have spent that extra week in Scotland, either, partying with my friends. I should have come home after the wedding. There was also the ten grand I’d lost at the craps table a few weeks ago.
I was out of control and it had to stop.
The worst part was that it was summer, so with my bank account empty, I was going to have to dig into my savings because there wouldn’t be a paycheck until mid-October. The only good thing in all of this was that I forced myself to put money into an untouchable account every time I got paid. I’d have to touch it now, but at least it was there. Otherwise, I’d be living off my credit cards and that wasn’t good for anyone.
I moved some money around and stared at my account in frustration. It was a lot less money than I was used to living on and October fifteenth seemed really far away. Just under two months.
How the hell was I going to do this?
The next two days were pretty mellow, with us hanging out at the hospital with Gracie. Her fever had gone down and the incision was no longer as red or angry-looking, so we were taking her home today. It was odd to think in terms of “we,” but Gracie was so attached to me, I couldn’t abandon her and didn’t want to anyway. She and Margot were all I thought about these days and even though the dating thing was progressing more slowly than I would have liked, we had plenty of time.
“Uncle Tore, can we play Candy Land?” Gracie asked the second we got home.
“Dr. Mack said you need to rest and watch TV for one more day,” Margot reminded her. “So let’s get settled on the couch and you can pick the movies.”
“Frozen,” she said automatically.
Margot and I exchanged a frustrated look. We’d watched it with her at least a hundred times and if I heard the song about building a snowman one more time, I might cry. This was about Gracie, though, so I’d suck it up and grit my teeth through it.
“I have a bottle of wine,” Margot whispered as she passed me.
“Any chance we could hook it up with an IV?” I asked, chuckling.
She laughed, disappearing up the stairs to get pillows and blankets for Gracie.
Ian and Everly were going out for the night, which left just the three of us. It was kind of cool, settling on the couch with me on one end, Margot nestled against my side, and Gracie resting with her head on Margot’s lap.
Jesus, this could have been my family. My wife. My kid.
Sometimes that stuff seemed really far away, but other times, like now, it felt good. Like I was ready.
Mentally, I was done with one-night stands and friends with benefits, but emotionally I didn’t know what it would be like to take on the role of Gracie’s dad full-time. This was just a tiny taste of it, and it was a lot, so my intention was to go slow. I had strong feelings for Margot, but it was hard to imagine what it would be like to be in a committed relationship with her.
I’d thought Jen and I were meant to be and that had blown up in my face pretty hard.
“You want to carry her upstairs for me?” Margot whispered. “Then maybe we could watch grown-up TV?”
I smiled and nodded, sliding out from next to her and reaching down to scoop up Gracie. She seemed so little like this and I gently laid her on her bed, tucking the blankets in around her. I put her favorite stuffed animal, a Las Vegas Sidewinders stuffed rattlesnake, up against her, and slowly backed out of the room. I only shut the door halfway so we could hear her if she woke up, and padded back downstairs.
Margot had cleaned up what was left of the dinner dishes and had opened a bottle of red wine. We’d finished one earlier and it looked like we were ready for another.
“What do you want to watch?” she asked, glancing at me.
I sat on the couch and held out my arms. “Whatever you want.”
To my surprise, she didn’t hesitate. She sank down and buried her head in my chest. Her dark auburn hair tickled my bicep as it trailed over my arm, which I wrapped around her middle.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “It means so much to me that you’ve been by my side through all of this.”
“Margot, I’ve been trying to be by your side for months. You just keep pushing me away.”
“I know.” She looked up at me. “I don’t trust easily.”
“I know.”
She didn’t say anything else, merely nestled against my chest.
I stroked her hair, watching as the rising and falling of her chest slowed. Within a few minutes she was asleep, but I didn’t want to move. It had been a long time since I’d been with a woman who made me feel…content? I wasn’t sure that was the word because it almost seemed boring, but at this moment, there was nowhere else I wanted to be and Margot wasn’t boring. It felt good that she was comfortable enough with me to pass out, even though I would have preferred we did it upstairs in an actual bed. I hadn’t slept in one in two nights and my body wasn’t pleased.
At some point, I dozed off as well because the next thing I knew, Ian was gently shaking my shoulder.
“Hey. You two should go upstairs. Your neck is going to hurt like hell in the morning.”
I grimaced, rolling my neck a little and feeling it pop.
“It’s all right. Let me carry her to bed and I’ll get out of here.”
Ian nodded and disappeared up the stairs, so I got up and gently lifted Margot. She barely stirred as I carried her up to her room. I put her on the bed and was about to leave when she whispered, “Don’t go.”
Oh hell.
There was only so much I could take and still be a gentleman.
She was going to torture me.
“Sleep here,” she said, holding out a hand.
Well, here went nothing. No way in hell I was saying no.
I pulled my T-shirt off and slid in beside her. I spooned up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist. This was pure torture, but I was exhausted and figured it would be better for both of us if we were rested.
Something woke me and I opened my eyes in confusion. What the hell was that? Then I remembered Margot and looked down to find her draped all over me. My dick kicked into overdrive, but then I heard it again.
What was that noise?
Was it crying?
More like whimpering.
Were Ian and Everly having sex?
No, this didn’t sound like pleasure. It sounded sad.
Gracie.
I sat up, gently moving Margot’s arms. She needed the rest more than I did, so I padded down the hall to Gracie’s room. She was sitting up in bed, tears pouring down her face.
“Hey, Princess, what’s wrong?” I asked quietly, sitting on the edge of her bed.
“Where’s Mommy?”
“Mommy’s sleeping. She’s really tired. But I can get her if you want.”
She sighed, swiping at her eyes. “I had a bad dream.”
“You did?” I grabbed a tissue and gently wiped her face. “Tell me about it.”
“There was monsters with green teeth and big black eyes.”
“No such thing,” I said. “And anyway, green teeth and black eyes are my specialty. Any of those come near you, I’ll mess them up.”
“You will?” She looked so concerned, I leaned over and hugged her.
�
�I will. Promise.”
“I want Mommy.” Her eyes puddled with tears.
“Okay. Let me go get her.”
“I can sleep with you and Mommy.”
My gut told me this might be against the rules or something, but I had no idea, and since I was the adult in charge, it was up to me to decide. So I scooped her up and carried her back into Margot’s bedroom.
I put her down between Margot and me, and crawled in after her. She immediately curled against her mother and I pulled the sheet up over both of them. I lay back and closed my eyes again. There wouldn’t be any morning fun with Margot, but at least Gracie was happy.
The weird thing was I didn’t mind all that much.
11
Margot
I didn’t remember going up to bed last night but it felt so good to stretch out as I came awake. The warm little hand on my chest definitely belonged to Gracie and I wondered when she’d come to my room. She didn’t do it often, but every once in a while, she had a bad dream, and I didn’t mind having her here. I tried not to do it too often because late nights were just about the only time I had to myself. Plus, I liked to watch shows on TV that weren’t appropriate for her.
I smiled and turned over, my eyes resting on a very muscular bare chest. And strong arms.
Tore.
He was still here. Sleeping in my bed with Gracie between us.
Tears inexplicably stung my eyes.
I was so ready to let him in, to give him the chance to be what Gracie and I needed. What I thought he needed as well. I’d seen his indecision, his struggle to balance the things he wanted with the things he needed, and I wanted to help him with that. I wanted him.
It was just so damn hard to trust anyone.
For me, a broken heart would be hard but doable. But for Gracie, well, it wasn’t something I wanted her to go through. She’d already lost one father and if I let Tore get any closer to us, he would be walking right into that position.