by Kat Mizera
“Yes, but I have a new job.”
“You got a new job?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Renee hired me to be her new assistant. It’s amazing because it pays more than I’m making now, there are benefits, and the hours are flexible. And best of all, if she needs me on a day when Gracie isn’t in school, I can take her with me.”
“Coach Wylde’s wife?” I asked in confusion.
“Did you know she’s a famous author?”
“I did, but I guess…” My voice trailed off. I’d never thought of Renee as a successful businesswoman, which I felt kind of bad about. Did romance authors make enough money to pay an employee a full-time salary?
“It’s so cool, right? And she understands about your travel schedule, so she always tries to plan big book releases and stuff like that when the team is on the road. And she keeps her schedule light in the off-season—it’s really perfect.”
“I don’t want you to worry about money,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I make a lot, so once we get this budget going, we should be set.”
“Are you off tomorrow?”
“I have practice at eleven, but I’ll be off the rest of the day.”
“Then that’s our plan for tomorrow—sorting out our monthly budget.”
“Can we have sex again, though?”
“All night, if you want.”
I picked up Gracie on the way home the next day and chuckled as she told me about her day.
“J.J. had to flip his card,” she said solemnly.
I glanced in the rearview mirror. “I don’t know what that means.”
“We have cards. If we’re good all day, we stay on green. If we get in trouble, we flip our card to yellow. Then if we’re really bad, we go to red and Ms. Gelinas sends a note home to your mommy and daddy. Do you think Ms. Gelinas sent a note home to J.J.’s daddies or to his mommy, since they live in different houses?”
“I don’t know,” I said evasively, “but does your card ever go to red?”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. Mommy would be sad if I got a note. Plus, I’m good. I’m not naughty.”
“Never?” I asked, trying not to laugh.
She hesitated, then pursed her lips. “I’m not telling.”
I did laugh then, shaking my head. She was something, so full of mischief but delightfully bright and talkative. A lot like her mom. At least when Margot allowed herself to be full of mischief.
“Hey, you want to run an errand with me? I want to buy a surprise for your mommy.”
“Okay!”
Cognizant that we were working on my budget today, I stopped at a dollar store. I told Gracie she could pick out two things and she was so excited, you’d have thought I bought her a pony or something. We went to the toy aisle and while she picked out what she wanted, I found what I needed. Tonight, if I survived this budgeting crap, Margot and I were going to role play.
Working out a budget was as horrible and painful as I’d imagined it would be. To her credit, Margot didn’t get bent out of shape about my ridiculous spending habits, though she did raise an eyebrow at the fifty grand I lost playing blackjack at Caesars Palace in July. The early part of the process was uncomfortable, probably more for her than me, because it was obvious she’d never seen paychecks as big as mine.
“I don’t make that much in a year,” she said quietly.
“I know.” I squeezed her hand. “But now we’re in this together, so I really don’t want you to worry about money. Beyond keeping my sorry ass from spending it all.”
She chuckled. “Okay, so here’s what we have. Based on the numbers I got for your rent, utilities, car insurance, and the average you spend on gas monthly—which is nuts, by the way—and a hefty amount for groceries now that there’s three of us, you’re in great shape. On the other hand, your credit card debt is something else and in order to pay that down, you can’t keep charging on it.”
“But I get points—” I began.
“I get that, but right now, it’s more important to lower the debt and stop paying ridiculous interest.”
“So…I can’t use my cards at all?”
“Well, I mean, if you need to order something online or whatever, sure, but for everything else, use your debit card so it comes right out of your checking account.”
“Our.”
“Huh?” She blinked at me.
“Our checking account. Honey, we’re together now. I’m not worried about money.”
“Which is why you have almost a hundred grand in credit card debt.”
“Stop deflecting,” I said, determined to get her comfortable with the idea that I wanted her to have access to everything. “Your debit card should be on the way and I expect you to use it. Buy groceries, put gas in your car, do what you have to do.”
“I have money too,” she protested. “I can pay for my own expenses.”
I sighed. “Fine, but not necessities. Buy groceries with my money, okay? Please?”
She hesitated but then nodded. “Okay.”
It went on for another hour as she showed me ways to save money here and there. It felt ridiculous, considering I had a contract making two million a year, but I’d gotten myself into a mess and this was how I would get out.
“You really need a money manager,” she said when we were done. “I don’t understand why you don’t have one.”
“I did, but he died.” I gave a little shrug. “He had a heart attack and when his partner took over, he was such a dick, I fired him and decided to handle it on my own. I mean, I’m not a complete moron. I have money put in a retirement account automatically every paycheck, and I always put a grand in my own savings account, but it’s the day-to-day spending that gets me.”
“I imagine having this kind of money at nineteen or twenty blew your mind.”
“It really did.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
“Anything.”
“Were you poor as a kid?”
I shook my head. “No. Just regular middle-class. But when my parents divorced and my mom and I moved to the U.S., my dad didn’t give her anything, so we had a couple of rough years as she got settled again.”
“Is your mom American?”
I nodded. “Dad’s Swedish, Mom’s American. They met while backpacking through Europe in college, Mom got pregnant, they got married and she moved to Sweden. When they got divorced, my younger brother stayed with my dad but I came to the U.S. with my mom.”
“So that’s why you don’t really have an accent.”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Are you close to your brother?”
“No. I’m not close to my dad either. I really only see him when he comes for the dads’ trip every year, and he just wants to be a pro hockey player’s dad. He doesn’t really give a shit about me. He’s never forgiven me for going with my mom when they got divorced.”
“That’s kind of shitty, but I get it. My parents have never forgiven me for getting knocked up in college.”
“That’s more than a little shitty.” I reached for her hand. “But at least we have each other now.”
“Definitely. And I think about it a lot as I raise Gracie, the idea of abandoning her because she makes a mistake. I really hope I never become that kind of judgmental asshole.”
“You won’t,” I said firmly. “There’s no way in hell.”
“Where is your mom now?”
“Chicago with her dick of a new husband. I have a stepsister and I’ve only met her maybe three times. I avoid the stepdad like the plague. He’s so toxic and my mom doesn’t see it, so I usually meet her when she’s traveling for work. That way, it’s just us.”
“Boy, we didn’t luck out in the parent department,” she said, shaking her head.
“No, but we’ve learned from it, so hopefully we won’t repeat their mistakes and will be better parents than they are.”
“Were you always this sweet?” she asked sof
tly.
“Probably not, but I’m trying.”
“I think you’re very sweet,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss me.
“Sweet enough to get a reward?” I asked, teasing.
“Sure. What did you have in mind?” Her eyes glinted with amusement.
“How do you feel about role playing?”
23
Margot
No matter how much I’d begged, Tore wouldn’t tell me anything about his plans for the night once Gracie was in bed. Role playing sounded like fun but I’d never done anything like that and was a little nervous about how it worked. I didn’t know if I had acting skills, and though he promised it would be fun, there were butterflies in my stomach all through dinner and while I got Gracie ready for bed.
It was kind of silly because Tore and I had already done almost everything sexually. Between Fantasy Night and since we’d moved in together, we’d had a lot of sex. Deep down, in the most secret parts of my soul, I worried about our voracious and experimental sex life. We hadn’t pushed a lot of limits since I’d moved in because Gracie was always around, he’d started traveling, and there just weren’t enough private hours in the day, but I wondered if he felt like he was missing out on whatever it was we weren’t doing.
I didn’t dwell on it, but hearing Jen mention his attraction to men gave me pause sometimes. Since we’d discussed it, and Tore had sworn it was all wrapped up in the heat-of-the-moment, I tried to take him at his word, but trust wouldn’t come easily to me no matter how wonderful things were. I was always doubting myself, and I spent a lot of time lately talking myself down off the ledge emotionally when it came to how happy I was. There were always negative voices whispering in my head, reminding me of Greg, of my parents, of all the things that had hurt me over the years.
“I need a hug,” I told Tore once Gracie had dropped off to sleep and I softly closed her door behind me.
He didn’t even hesitate, meeting me in the hallway, wrapping his strong, warm arms around me, and kissing the top of my head.
“What’s wrong, beautiful?”
“Sometimes I’m so happy, I get scared,” I whispered. “I’ve never had someone treat me like you do, take care of me, love my kid, check all the damn boxes—and in my experience, things that seem too good to be true usually are.”
“Oh, babe, I hate that you feel that way.” He held me tighter.
“There’s nothing that’s going to make me trust you faster. The only cure for that is time. And once in a while I might need an extra hug to remind me that you’re really here.”
“I’m right here, ready and willing to hold you whenever you need it.”
And he held me for a long time. Probably five minutes or more, just standing there in the hallway outside of Gracie’s room. His broad shoulders made me feel safe, and the steady beating of his heart gave me something to hold on to, as if that steadiness was somehow strong enough for both of us. I’d never considered myself weak, but Tore made me feel vulnerable in ways I’d never been before. He wasn’t a starter romance; Tore was the real deal and I couldn’t even find the words to describe what he’d begun to mean to me.
“Let’s go lie down,” he said softly. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not up to it. We can just cuddle. Wanna watch a movie?”
I smiled to myself, pausing to look up at him. “I’m okay now. I just needed a reminder that you’re still here…which is dumb, but I’m working on my trust issues. Thanks for being patient with me.”
“What else would I be? You have trust issues, I have money issues, so I’m helping you learn to trust and you’re helping me learn to budget. I think it works out perfectly.”
I leaned up and kissed him. “Then let’s go do some role play.”
“Okay, so I was really good, because I needed a few props but I stopped at the dollar store, so this was all like six bucks. And this is for you.” He handed me something he dug out from under the bed. “I’m going to go into the bathroom to change. I need you in the highest heels you’ve got, the shortest skirt, and the shirt that’s in there.”
I pulled out a child’s T-shirt. It was an extra-large but it was literally for a kid. I glanced at him through squinted eyes. “Um, this isn’t even going to cover my boobs.”
“Duh.” He laughed. “No bra either. Oh, and do you have one of those little purses women bring on fancy dates? I forget what they’re called.”
“An evening bag?” I arched a brow.
“Yeah. It doesn’t have to have anything in it; this is just to set up the scenario. So while I get ready, stand over there and pretend like you’re rummaging around on the dresser. You’ll see what I’m talking about when we start.”
I laughed. “Okay.”
I went into the closet and changed into a skirt I hadn’t worn since college. It was incredibly short, barely covered my ass, and a little too tight these days, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be on long. I tossed my panties into the hamper, pulled on the shirt, and stepped into my highest stiletto heels. They were simple black pumps but I didn’t go out anywhere fancy that often, so I only had the one pair of high heels. I laughed as I struggled to keep the tiny little shirt over my boobs and the undersides hung out since it didn’t cover much. There was supposed to be a unicorn on the front but it was stretched so tight you could barely see it. I probably looked ridiculous, but this was his game, and I was willing to play.
I grabbed my one black evening bag and tossed it over my shoulder before fluffing up my hair and walking back into the bedroom. I made sure the door was locked and then wandered over to the dresser, rearranging his things as I waited for him to come out.
“You ready?” he called.
“Yup!”
I heard the door open and resisted the urge to turn around since I wanted to be surprised. He kept me waiting about ten seconds and then I felt his movement behind me.
“Excuse me, miss? I’m going to need to check your purse.”
I turned and my eyes rounded slightly. He was in black leather pants, no shirt, and had a plastic badge hanging around his neck. There was also a child’s gun holster attached to his pants with one of his belts, with a lime green water pistol in it. I tried to stay in character, and keep a straight face, but I couldn’t do it and bit my lip as I snickered.
“I didn’t have a lot of options at the dollar store,” he said, giving me a dirty look. “So you can’t make fun of what I came up with.”
“Sorry.” I bit my lip.
“Now, I said I’m going to need to look in your purse.”
“But…I haven’t done anything, Officer.” I tried to sound scared but wasn’t sure I was succeeding since the green gun was cracking me up.
He held out his hand.
“Searching me without cause is illegal.”
“So is stealing.”
“I didn’t take anything!” I protested, taking a step back and clutching my purse against me.
“But you did.” He advanced on me, pulling out a pair of real handcuffs and dangling them in front of me menacingly. He abruptly grabbed me and turned me around, so I was facing away from him, pulling my hands behind my back. “Stealing someone’s heart counts.” He snapped the handcuffs on and yanked me against his chest.
“But, Officer, I didn’t mean to…” My voice was a little breathy, completely turned on by both the role playing and the idea that I’d stolen his heart. And he’d said the words out loud. Role play or not, there was truth in there.
Before I could ruminate on that too much, he fisted a chunk of my hair and tugged my head back with one hand while his other hand traveled up to one of my breasts. He gripped it tightly, squeezing until I gasped.
“Did you wear the plug like a good girl?”
“Y-yes.” I was ridiculously aroused, my heart pounding and the space between my legs aching with need.
“Thieves need to be punished and tonight you’re going to take my cock up that tight little ass.”
“Mmm, I�
��m sorry for what I’ve done, Officer. But I understand if I have to be punished.”
“Damn right, you do.” He was rough but simultaneously tender as he kissed me, still tugging my hair and grinding his erection against my back.
“You’re going to fuck yourself with a dildo while you ride my cock with your ass…and if you come before I tell you to, you’ll get my belt.”
I was so wet I think I was dripping, but there was no time to say anything because he swatted my ass with the flat of his palm and I yelped a little. He yanked me by the arms and shoved me onto the bed.
“Spread your legs,” he growled, his eyes as dark as his voice, though they were more filled with passion than anything else.
It was uncomfortable lying on my back with my hands handcuffed behind me, but I did as he asked and he stood at the foot of the bed watching me, hands on his hips.
“You look a little too turned on,” he said. “I think you need a spanking before I fuck you.”
I must have whimpered because he chuckled as he helped me into a sitting position before putting me over his lap. He raised my skirt and ran his hands over my bare ass. I tensed, because I knew what was coming, but the warmth of his fingers felt so good I got turned on all over again.
“You’re going to like being my prisoner tonight,” he whispered, just before bringing his hand down on my ass.
“Oh, god.” My voice cracked as he hit the other cheek and then rubbed his hand over the sore spot. He repeated the process over and over, spanking me until my ass burned and my insides turned into liquid lust. When he slid two fingers inside of me, I nearly came on the spot, but he’d told me not to and I clenched around him in frustration.
“Officer, please…”
“Too late for begging, you little thief. Now stand up.” He set me on my feet and I straightened up, watching him. His erection strained against his slacks and I longed to touch it, but my hands were still behind my back.
He reached out and tore what was left of the little shirt right off of me, leaving me topless, in nothing but a tiny skirt and high, uncomfortable heels. But the way he was looking at me, as if I was truly the sexiest woman on earth, made me forget everything but him.