by Kat Mizera
I shook my head. “I have a four-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and that’s plenty for now. Maybe down the road, but neither of us are interested in babies at this stage of our relationship.”
“Okay. So why don’t you get changed and put on the very sexy paper robe we provide, and I’ll do the exam. Once I’m done and you’ve gotten dressed, we’ll meet in my office to talk. How does that sound?”
“Perfect. Thanks.” She made me feel at ease and I liked her, so I wasn’t really paying attention as she did the exam, my thoughts drifting to making cookies tonight and coming up with what I was going to buy Tore.
“Have you been consistent in your use of condoms?” she asked me as she finished up.
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Okay.” She met my gaze. “I’ll see you in my office as soon as you’re ready.”
I quickly cleaned up and changed back into my clothes, grabbing my purse as I walked into the hallway.
“This way.” Her nurse showed me down the hall and into a brightly lit office.
“Have a seat.” Dr. Diaz looked up with a faint smile.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as I sat down, a weird feeling coming over me.
“Well, I noticed your cervix was softer and has changed color, so I checked your urine test to be sure.” She paused.
“Is something wrong?” I gasped. “It’s been two years since my last exam but—”
“No, no, nothing like that,” she said gently. “Everything appears quite healthy.”
“Oh.” I frowned. “So what is it?”
“Well, from what I can tell, you’re about six weeks pregnant.”
30
Tore
Our flight home the following week was delayed because of weather, so Margot was asleep when I got to the apartment. I stripped down and crawled into bed, sliding in beside her. Normally when I got home from a trip, she went to bed naked, but tonight she wore flannel pajamas, which was a bummer. It was freezing out tonight, so it made sense, but I always looked forward to being skin-on-skin with her. We’d gotten into the habit of sleeping with a big nightshirt and boxers under our pillows, allowing us to dress quickly if Gracie needed us, so going to bed naked had become our thing.
I pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder before drifting off to sleep, glad I didn’t have practice in the morning. However, when I opened my eyes, she was gone, the apartment quiet, and I sat up in confusion. If I was home and didn’t have to be at the rink, I always took Gracie to school, so I didn’t understand what was up with Margot. Now that I thought about it, we hadn’t talked much on this trip, with her telling me how busy she was and telling me she’d call me later. Except she never had and I hadn’t realized it until now.
I got up, took a shower and got dressed. I padded into the living room and looked around as I headed into the kitchen for something to eat. I thought about texting Margot, since it was just after nine and she was probably at Renee’s, but I called her instead.
“Good morning.” She answered on the first ring.
“Where’d you go?” I asked quietly. “You didn’t even wake me up this morning.”
“You got home so late,” she said. “I wanted you to rest.”
“What time will you be home?”
“I’m working until one and then picking up Gracie and going to the store, but I should be home by three.”
“All right. I’m gonna go work out and I’ll see you later?”
“See you later.” She disconnected and I stared at the phone for a minute.
Something was up but I couldn’t tell what. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done that would make her mad, but women were confusing sometimes. It was possible I had done some dumb thing and didn’t even realize it, so I figured I’d go pick up some flowers or something. That way, I’d be covered. If I hadn’t done anything, it would be a sweet gesture, and if I had, it would be the first step toward an apology. Of course, how was I supposed to apologize if I didn’t know what I was apologizing for?
I had breakfast and headed to the gym, getting in a good off-ice workout before heading to the grocery store. I found a dozen pink roses and bought them, along with a bottle of her favorite prosecco. Hopefully, she was just busy and I was imagining things, but my gut didn’t usually steer me wrong.
I’d just gotten home when my mom’s name flashed on the screen of my phone, and I answered with a grin. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi!” she said. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“I’m in Vegas.”
“You are? Right now?”
“As we speak. I just checked into the Bellagio. I have a meeting at three but it should be done by five and I was hoping you’d be free.”
“Holy shit, that’s awesome, and yeah, today’s a day off. I’m psyched. Margot won’t be home until about three anyway, but I’ll text her and let her know. Do you want to come to the apartment or go out for dinner?”
“Whatever’s easiest for you.”
“Why don’t you come over? I don’t know what Margot has planned but we can order in if she’s not prepared for company.”
“You might want to talk to her first. She could have made plans of her own.”
I grimaced. “Yeah, of course. Okay, let me call her and I’ll call you back.”
While I wouldn’t say Margot was excited about meeting my mom, she wasn’t upset about it either. She’d been planning to make a pot roast and said there was plenty, so she was going to cook while I straightened up. We’d cut the cleaning service back to once every two weeks since Margot said she was more than capable of keeping up with such a small apartment on the off-weeks, and they hadn’t been here in just over a week. I wanted to go back to weekly but was trying to be good because she was right that staying on a budget really made a big difference. My checking account had plenty of money in it, I’d paid off my smallest credit card already and would pay off one more by January. The third was huge but we’d agreed that by paying off the two smaller ones, we could then put those payment amounts towards the big one.
I still hated being on a budget, but it looked like I could be debt-free by late summer if we stayed super strict, so I was towing the line and Margot made it seem easy. She’d lived on a budget for so long that this was easy for her and by working together, she made it easier on me.
“Are jeans okay?” she asked me at 5:45. My mother was supposed to arrive at six and Margot seemed a little nervous.
“Jeans are fine. We’re at home, babe. She’s probably wearing jeans too.”
“Okay.” She wiped her palms down the front of her jeans and I reached for her.
“Why are you so nervous? My mom is going to love you.”
“I hope so. I mean, my own mom doesn’t like me that much, so…”
“Your mom is a bitch,” I grumbled. “Sorry, but she’s missing out on the most amazing woman.”
She met my gaze. “Do you really think that?”
“Of course.” I tugged her against my chest. “What’s wrong? You’ve been off all day. Did I do something to upset you? If I did, you have to tell me, ’cause I’m not good at guessing.”
“Is that what the flowers were about?” she asked softly. “They weren’t necessary, but we’ll talk later.” She leaned up to press her lips to mine before disengaging and heading back out to the kitchen. Something was definitely up, but I didn’t have time to ask about it now.
I didn’t know who was more excited: Gracie or my mom. They took to each other immediately and it occurred to me my mom was going to be the best grandmother ever, even though she was kind of young for that title. They had an instant connection, much the way Gracie and I had, and Mom was immediately caught up in a game of Candy Land as Margot and I finished making dinner.
“I think Gracie likes her,” I whispered to her in the kitchen.
She smiled. “She really only has Everly’s mom as a grandmother-type figure, and she doesn’t see her much now that we lef
t Seattle, so I’m sure she’s excited.”
“Are these yours?” I asked as she pulled out a set of cloth napkins.
She nodded. “Yeah, Everly and I used to try to buy something nice for the house now and again. I wanted to expose Gracie to everything, even stuff we couldn’t usually afford, and one of those things was cloth napkins on holidays.”
“It’s not a holiday.”
“No, but it’s the first time we’re entertaining as a couple, and it’s your mom.”
“That’s really sweet of you.” I reached for her but she grabbed two oven mitts and turned away, pulling the roast out of the oven.
“Can you mash the potatoes?” she asked, handing me a funny-looking tool with a handle and squiggly-shaped forks on the bottom.
“This is definitely not something of mine,” I said, chuckling. “What do I do with it?”
“It’s a potato masher.” She took it from me and pushed the flat bottom into the potatoes she’d just boiled. “Just do that over and over until they’re all mashed, while I finish the salad.”
“Okay.” I did as directed, wondering how I’d gone nearly twenty-five years on earth without knowing one of these things existed.
“There’s bread in the oven,” she said when I was done. “Keep an eye on that while I finish making the potatoes.” She added milk, butter, and some salt to the potatoes and I watched in fascination as they became a big bowl of creamy deliciousness.
“Those look amazing,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever had mashed potatoes from scratch.”
She smiled and held out the spoon so I could have a bite.
“Shit, those are awesome.”
“Good. Now carry them out to the table please.” She pulled the bread out of the oven and I was amazed at her efficiency. She’d cooked for us dozens of times, but she was pulling out all the stops tonight with cloth napkins, a homemade meal that was making my mouth water, and pretty wine glasses I’d never seen before. She’d been bringing her things over from Everly’s a little at a time and it was making my bachelor pad really feel like a home these days.
We sat down to eat a few minutes later, and my mother gave Margot a grin.
“This smells amazing, Margot. Thank you for preparing such a lovely meal on short notice.”
“I was going to make this tonight anyway,” Margot said graciously. “Except the bread, but I figured Tore can have a few extra carbs once in a while.”
“Mommy, did you know Grandma Shelley works on computons?”
“Computers,” Margot said, laughing. “But yes, I did know that.”
Grandma Shelley.
Things were definitely getting real around here. And the closer we all got, the happier I was. Which made no sense, but I was rolling with it because I was head over heels in love with Margot and Gracie. Seeing my mom here with us just solidified all the things I’d been feeling.
“Tell me about what you do, Margot,” Mom said to her.
“I’ve been a journalist and editor since I graduated, but after Gracie’s accident, I had to cut back on my hours and then we moved to Las Vegas so…” Margot told her about her job in Seattle and then what she was doing now for Renee.
“Rena J. Black?! Really? She’s one of my favorites. I love Petra and Her Phantom.”
Margot chuckled. “I might have fan-girled when I figured out who she was, and she autographed a paperback for me.”
“Ohhh…” Mom’s eyes widened. “Now you know what I want for Christmas!”
They laughed and talked about romance novels for a while, which I had no interest in, but that was okay because I had to wrap my head around the idea of seeing my mom hanging out here at my apartment with me and my girls.
My girls.
Wow, when had that happened? It had only been a few months but everything in my life had changed. And it all felt so serious. So permanent. Which was both good and bad. Before Jen, I’d given almost no thought at all to settling down. Jen was a workaholic who didn’t really like kids, and though we’d moved in together, she’d enjoyed her independence, so it hadn’t felt like what I had with Margot.
I was happier than I’d ever been with a woman, but I was scared too. We’d jumped into this family scenario quickly and part of me wanted to slow down. The problem was Gracie. With her in the picture, there was no slowing down, and Margot had made it clear she would pick Gracie over me, which left me struggling with different emotions. One minute I was madly in love and the next I was a smidge nervous. Budgets and schedules and a four-year-old crawling into bed with us at all hours of the night. I wasn’t sure if my mother’s appearance for dinner had brought on all these unexpected doubts, but it probably had more to do with Margot’s weird comment earlier about us needing to talk later.
“So is there going to be a wedding any time soon?” Mom asked, her eyes twinkling.
I nearly choked on my glass of wine, my eyes flying to Margot, who’d paled a little.
“My Auntie Evie got married last year,” Gracie chirped, oblivious to the sudden tension in the room. “I got to be a flower girl and I was the prettiest one there… Mommy, when you get married, can I be your maiden of honor?”
Margot gave her a small smile. “Maid of honor, but if you’re my maid of honor, what will we do with Auntie Evie? Should we make her the flower girl?”
Gracie giggled and started talking about Ian and Everly’s wedding again. My mother was completely enthralled with her and we left them there talking as Margot and I cleared the table.
“Sorry about that,” I said when we were alone. “I didn’t think she’d ask about weddings.”
“It’s fine.”
Oh boy. I didn’t know a ton about women, but I knew enough to know “it’s fine” was usually the prelude to a fight.
“You’re mad at me,” I said quietly. “So why don’t you just tell me what I did?”
“I think you know what you did,” she said, “and I’m not mad so much as disappointed.”
The dollhouse.
Fuck. I hadn’t figured she’d find out this quickly and now I wasn’t prepared to talk about it.
“Did Everly tell you?” I asked finally.
“Nope. I was at the house when it arrived.”
I sighed. Of all the bad luck. How fucked up was that?
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I am, but I really want her to have this and while I know we made a deal about our budget, I’m fine with not getting any gifts.”
“That’s not the point,” she said, setting her jaw as she glared at me. “You lied. You broke my trust. If you can do it over something so trivial, what else will you lie about?”
“Okay, wait, that’s not fair.” I reached for her but she shook her head, folding her arms across her chest. “I lied because it was something trivial. I would never lie about something really important. But it’s Christmas. And she’s four. And I’ve never had a kid at Christmas before.” I didn’t know how to make her understand how much I wanted to make this special for Gracie.
“That’s just it—she’s four. In five years, she probably won’t even remember this Christmas and you’re spending a ridiculous amount of money on a toy!”
“But in five years, and twenty-five years, I’ll remember this Christmas.” I met her gaze. “I’m sorry, Margot. I really am.”
31
Margot
It was hard to stay mad at him. I’d been so hurt when the dollhouse arrived at Ian and Everly’s, but I was probably overly emotional because I was still reeling from the news Dr. Diaz had given me. I hadn’t told him yet because I’d needed to wrap my head around it first, and then the dollhouse thing happened, so it had been back-to-back relationship blows that I wasn’t fully able to process yet.
“Please don’t be mad,” he said, his voice low and his eyes full of sincerity. “I would never lie about something major. I was going to do something fun and silly, probably sex-related, to talk you into letting me give it to her, but I’ll show you the paperwor
k. I made sure it was returnable if the box wasn’t opened, so I had a contingency in case you really did say no. Like no-no, final no.”
I sighed. “You can’t do stuff like this, Tore. It’s important for us to be open and honest.” Yikes. Here was the pot calling the kettle black as I withheld a huge secret.
“I know, and I swear to you, I won’t do it again. Okay? And really, no Christmas gifts for me. I’m good.”
“You know how I feel about that. Even if it’s small stuff, you have to have gifts. As do I.”
“Okay, but we’ll keep it small, and you can cut my spending allowance in half in January.”
I gave him a look. “I don’t want to be in a position where I’m like your mom or something. We have to trust each other to do the right thing, without me becoming a nag. Eventually, you’ll resent the hell out of me if I take on that kind of role.”
“I won’t do it again. I swear.” He reached for me. “Don’t be mad, okay? I just want this Christmas to be extra special for Gracie, but we won’t buy much of anything else. Small stuff and a few stocking stuffers, that’s it.”
I nodded wearily. “All right. You get a pass this time.”
“So we can keep it?” His eyes shone with mischief and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Yes. We can keep the dollhouse.”
“Yes!” He pumped his fist and then kissed me, sliding his tongue into my mouth and getting me a little worked up before I gently pushed him away.
“Your actual mom is in the other room.”
“I know—naughty, right?”
God, this man. One minute I wanted to kill him, the next he made me giggle. Of course, neither of us would be giggling when I told him I was pregnant. That wasn’t happening tonight, though. I only had the stomach for one argument per day. Maybe even per week. And the truth of the matter was that I was scared. Tore wouldn’t leave me on my own. I knew that. Even if he was furious and we broke up, he would do right by the baby. But what about me? I couldn’t even imagine raising another baby on my own.