“There’s a rest area ahead. Do you need to stop?” Jax asked. I didn’t realize he knew I was awake.
“Yeah, I do.” I swallowed hard, hoping I could get to the restroom before I threw up. Jax had enough to worry about. He was already concerned about Keith finding us, and because of me, Jordan’s safety was at risk as well.
By unbuckling my seatbelt as Jax brought the car to a stop, I’d hoped to be in the restroom before he could see me get sick. Well, thanks for small favors, I barely made it to the first stall before I lost what little there was in my stomach. Once that passed, I sat on the floor with a cold, wet paper towel pressed against my face, hoping my stomach would settle. After about ten minutes, I heard the bathroom door open, and a female called my name.
“Lainie? Are you in here?”
“Yeah,” I croaked as I tried to get to my feet. I leaned heavily on my cane so I could make my way to the sinks.
“You okay, hon? There’s a terribly worried guy waiting for you outside.” She looked me up and down, noticing my pallor. “I’ll let him know you’ll be a few minutes. Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks.” I tried to smile but didn’t quite make it happen. “I’ll be ready in a minute. Just a little motion sickness.”
I heard the door shut as she left, and I sank back down to the floor completely exhausted, and I rested my head on my good knee.
“Hey, Lainie.” I looked up and saw Jax standing over me. “You okay?”
I sat up straighter. “Yes, I’ll have myself together in a minute. Everything just hit me all at once.” I couldn’t help the tear that escaped and ran down my face.
He bent down and wiped it away as he reached down and swooped me up in his arms and carried me out of the restroom. “Thanks for checking on her. I really appreciate it,” he said to the woman outside the door. “Lainie, how about a soda? Maybe that will help. The sugar should give you a bit of energy. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to eat much now, but we’ll stop for something after your stomach settles, okay?” I nodded yes, and he went to the vending machines after checking that he had enough change.
When he got back, I saw the bags under his eyes. He must be exhausted.
“Thanks, Jax. I’m sorry to be such a pain in the neck.”
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep and we’ll stop for breakfast in a couple hours.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a package of crackers. “These should help.” He bent down and pulled me into a hug, whispering in my ear, “I’ll do anything to keep you safe, Lainie. Never forget that.”
Without another word, we resumed our flight westward.
Jax
Watching her go through this was killing me. The anguish on her face when she thought I wasn’t looking hurt me to the core. Until the other day, I hadn’t seen her for ten years, but now it was as if those ten years disappeared into ten minutes. Her situation tore at my gut, making me want to pull her to me and never let go. I needed to figure out if this was just unresolved feelings from back then or if they were real adult ones. Once we get to the cabin and rest for a couple of days, we’re going to sit down and discuss everything.
Well, the crackers and soda seemed to have done the trick. Her color was better, and she appeared more relaxed. I couldn’t imagine what the last ten years had been like for her. Every day worrying that Keith would get out and come after her. I reached over and held her hand, feeling the same old spark every time I touched her. I don’t think she knows how her touch affects me. It’s even stronger now than it was all those years ago. How can that be? Falling for this damsel in distress seems to have become a habit with me. But what if it’s just my desire to save the world, one girl at a time?
Chapter 8
Lainie
Sitting on the bed in a hotel who knows where, I was propped up against the headboard with a notebook on my lap. The idea of keeping a journal of our journey was a good one, maybe it would help me remember that this was real. Jax was asleep next to me on the bed, his hair falling over his forehead. My fingers itched to brush it back. I wondered if it felt the same.
First journal entry: The last two days have been exhausting and stressful for both of us. I saw how the long hours of driving wore Jax down. My driving was out of the question. The car has a manual transmission and with my knee screwed up more than usual, there was no way I could work the clutch. Jax drove through the first night and all day yesterday, finally agreeing to stop the following evening after he almost fell asleep at the wheel just outside of Denver. It took about an hour to find a hotel that would take cash without a major credit card. At least, it was clean. By the time I took a shower, Jax was asleep face down on the bed, fully clothed. I removed his shoes and covered him up. He slept twelve hours without moving a muscle and then drove another twelve hours today. We took a zig-zag path west to try and stay off Keith’s radar.
Tonight we found another cheap motel and stopped about an hour ago. I tried to sleep, but I had been napping off and on all day due to the pain pills. Since my knee seems better, I’m going to try to go without the medication and see how that works out.
The next day was more of the same, driving all day and only stopping when we had to. We got to Las Vegas about six in the evening and Jax asked me if I was ready to stop for the day.
“Sure. Do you think you can find a hotel that will take cash?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered,” Jax said as he turned off the strip and pulled into the parking lot of a supermarket. “Wait here, I’ll just be a minute.” He got out of the car, jogged up to the door, and entered the store.
Ten minutes later he was back with a couple of bags. “What’s all this?” I asked as he put them in the back seat.
“It’s a surprise.”
I turned and looked at him like he was nuts. A surprise? We don’t have time for a surprise. For the first time in days, he was grinning at me, watching the emotions run across my face while we sat at a red light.
“It’ll be okay, Lainie. Trust me.”
His eyes went back to the road, and the light turned green, pulling his attention away from me.
About ten minutes later, we were driving through a high-end residential area—big houses with even bigger yards and gated fences. I was even more confused when he pulled in the drive of one of the huge homes and punched a code into the box in front of the gate. The gate opened, and we drove in as if we owned the place… parking at the back of the house.
“What are we doing here, Jax?”
I looked at the house, marveling at the size of it. The garage was bigger than the house I grew up in.
“This place is ours for the night,” he said with the grin I loved.
“What? You’re kidding. How did you manage this one?”
“It belongs to Jim Bradley.”
“The basketball player? How do you know him? Does he know we’re here? I’m worried that he’ll slip and tell someone we’re here by accident.”
“Don’t worry, he doesn’t know we’re here. We played basketball together at Duke, and we kept in touch after he was drafted by the Pacers.” Getting out of the car, he pulled the grocery bags out of the back seat. I offered to carry them in so he could grab the suitcases, but he refused. He must have been afraid that I’d peek and ruin his surprise. Once at the back door, he punched in a code to unlock it. “Jim gave me the codes and told me I could use this place anytime I wanted. And no, he doesn’t know we’re here. He’s on an exhibition trip through Europe for the next month. No one will ever know we were here.”
We walked through the massive back entrance and into the kitchen; it was huge. The kitchen was bigger than my whole apartment. Jax set the bags down on the counter and told me he had something to show me. He led me down the hall, and we walked through another door and out into a secluded yard with a pool and hot tub.
“I hope Brent packed swimsuits for us; I really want to get in that hot tub.” I looked up at Jax and saw that smil
e again. Glancing down at my feet, I blushed from head to toe as I thought about the two of us alone in the hot tub.
Jax laughed and showed me the rest of the house. He said we could use two guest rooms that were connected by a huge bathroom. Coaxing me into using the shower first, he said he would bring my suitcase in and put it in my bedroom. After showing me around a little more, he left to get the suitcases and unpack the mystery groceries.
Twenty minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to find the suitcase was on a luggage stand waiting for me. I opened it and pulled out clean jeans and another t-shirt. I dug through the clothes, but there was no swimsuit. Rats, I was really looking forward to using that hot tub later. Jax knocked on the door frame and I jumped.
“I see you’re done in the bathroom. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes, so I’m going to take a quick shower. Stay out of the kitchen. Dinner is still a surprise.”
“Okay. I’ll go hang out by the pool.”
Jax headed to the bathroom and closed the door. I hurried and got dressed, then went out to the pool. I sat in one of the lounge chairs and leaned back, loving the feel of the sun on my face. After lying there for a while with my eyes closed, I sensed someone watching me. My eyes flew open, and I sat up to find Jax standing in the doorway looking at me—no, he was studying me. His eyes glowed in the setting sun. His hair was wet, but it still managed to flop over onto his forehead, making my fingers itch to push it back.
“You hungry, Lainie? Dinner is ready whenever you are.”
Jax
I stood in the doorway and just watched her enjoying the sun. She’d always been beautiful, even with the short, blonde hair. At least she left those awful brown contacts behind and was wearing an incredibly sexy pair of glasses instead. My jeans were starting to feel tight, but she suddenly sat up and looked around, fearful and on alert.
Dinner was ready, and she got up and limped towards me, making my heart skip a beat in anticipation. Down boy. Now was not the time for that. I followed her into the house, and we went to the kitchen. She smiled when she saw that I had set the table with candles and a bottle of wine. I pulled out a chair and waited for her to sit, then brought dinner to the table. Her eyes lit up.
“Homemade pizza? Wow, Jax, I didn’t know you could cook. This looks delicious.”
“I got tired of eating out all the time, so I took a class. I hope you like it. I didn’t have time for homemade tomato sauce or crust, but it should still be good.” The candlelight made the tears in her eyes shimmer. “Why the tears, Lainie?”
“You’ve been so sweet to me, even after I dragged you into my mess. I don’t deserve this.” She stood and reached for her cane. My hand covered hers and pulled it back to me to steady her.
“Why don’t you deserve this?” I pulled out the chair next to her and sat down without letting go of her hand. “Tell me why.”
“Because all I do is cause trouble for everyone around me and then they leave.” The tears began to flow and ran down her face in streams as she turned her head away from me. I still held her hand in mine so she couldn’t get up and leave.
“Let go, Jax. I don’t want this. I can’t let this happen again.”
I let go of her hand as if she’d touched a hot match to it. She left me sitting there with a wounded look on my face.
Lainie
When I reached the bedroom, I fell on the bed, soaking the pillow with my tears.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before I noticed Jax sitting on the edge of the bed. “You want to talk about it, Lainie? I thought you psychologists were all about expressing your feelings.” He stretched out on the bed and pulled me up against him. He whispered in my ear, “Talk to me. Who has left you?”
I rolled over and looked at him, afraid I was going to see in his eyes that he wanted to leave too. “My dad left me when he died. Mom left me when she married Keith and got hooked on drugs. Then she left me again when I had to disappear. And you left me when I needed you most.” There, I said it.
“Oh, baby. None of us wanted to leave you.” He brushed the tears from my cheek. “I’ve been looking for you for ten years. It broke my heart when you vanished without a goodbye.”
“My head knows this, but my heart has problems accepting it. I wanted to say goodbye, Jax, but Matt wouldn’t let me. I didn’t even get to say anything to my mom.”
This started a new round of sobbing, so Jax pulled me close and let me get it all out. Somehow he knew that I needed to cry it all out. As my sobs tapered off into whimpers, he handed me a tissue, and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.
“I can’t let you into my heart, Jax. Every time I do, I have to say goodbye. If I let you in, it would kill me to have to be separated from you again.” I sat up and tried to move to the other side of the bed.
“I’m not going anywhere, Lainie. You left without a trace, and I had no way to find you. For ten years, I’ve been looking at every stranger’s face trying to see if it was you.” He stopped, and I could see he was trying to control his emotions. “Then I was shot and had to go to therapy. I fought it, but my captain wouldn’t let me out of it, thank God! I walked into your office and found you. It’s time for my heart to feel whole again.”
Jax got off the bed and headed into the bathroom. I laid there thinking about everything he’d told me. When he came back, he had a cool washcloth and placed it over my eyes.
“I’ll give you whatever time you need. Just don’t shut me out. How about we go eat that pizza and talk about where we go from here?”
The pizza was excellent and the wine was just enough to take the edge off. We ate in silence for a few minutes until I asked Jax about the cabin we were headed to in Washington state.
“Just to warn you, the cabin is fairly small. There’s one bedroom, but the couch is a sofa bed. There are solar panels for electricity to save on gas for the generator and propane gas for heat and the stove. It’s very remote, about two hours from the nearest town. The river is right outside; you can practically fish off the front porch.”
“Sounds cozy. How did you find it? Have you been there before?”
“No, but Jordan has. She got it in the divorce. She hasn’t had the title changed over to her name yet, so it should take some doing for Keith to track us there.”
After dinner, we went and sat out by the pool as the sun went down, sending shadows across the sparkling crystal water.
“I want to get in the hot tub and soak my knee, but I need to figure out something to wear.”
“Jim always keeps a wide variety of swimsuits in the cabana. There should be one in there that will fit you.”
I followed him out to the pool house, still conscious of him watching me walk. For some reason, seeing me limp seemed to make him angry. We headed into the cabana and started trying on suits.
I found a bikini that fit, but I really didn’t feel comfortable wearing it. It was way too revealing. Jax knocked on the door to the changing room. “Did you find one?”
“Yeah, go ahead and get in the hot tub, I’ll be out in a minute.”
I heard him moan when he got in the hot tub. “This feels so great. Hurry up, Lainie.”
“Close your eyes, Jax,” I yelled.
He closed his eyes, opening them when he heard me get in. “What kind of guests does he have? Those suits in there don’t cover much.”
The desire was there for me to see. I started to let myself believe that this could work… that we could be together. When I blushed, he reached over and pulled me to him, lightly touching his lips to mine. His tongue ran over my mouth, inviting me to open up to him. His hands were in my hair cradling my head and sending shock waves through my body all the way to my toes.
I opened my lips, and he plundered my mouth, sending my senses reeling. He tasted like wine and dreams. Needing to be closer to him, I straddled his lap, and his hands went to my breasts after untying my bikini top. My heart raced, and my knees were weak. He moved his lips d
own to my neck and my head fell back, giving him full access. His hands roamed as his mouth moved lower, stoking the fire that he had started within me. As he softly caressed up and down my sides, goose bumps rose wherever he touched as his mouth found my breasts. Teasing a nipple, a flame shot through me, and my hips moved with a will of their own as he circled it with his tongue, and then brought it into his hot, wet mouth and sucked gently. I was lost in the feeling until I felt his hand on my left leg, moving down towards my knee. I froze… and pulled away.
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Abruptly, I tied my bikini top and pulled myself out of the hot tub. Limping over to the pool I jumped in, hoping Jax hadn’t seen the tears again and began swimming laps, trying to erase the last few minutes from my mind.
I pushed myself until I was so exhausted I almost couldn’t make it back to the ladder and out of the pool. Hobbling to the lounge chairs, I picked up a towel and wrapped it around me, lowering myself down onto one of the chairs as I berated myself for believing that I could have a regular life. No guy would ever want me; I was damaged goods.
Jax sat on the other side of the pool smoking a cigarette as he watched me. God, I probably really screwed things up. I never should have let him kiss me, but I didn’t regret it, couldn’t regret the feelings he brought out of me for a few minutes. He made me feel normal and wanted.
Jax
I sneaked a peek at Lainie while she got into the hot tub and was instantly overwhelmed by the intensity of the effect she had on me. I tried to think of anything that would help keep my desires under control. I felt like a horny teenager. The blue of the bikini turned her eyes an even deeper shade of sapphire, and all I wanted to do was fall into them and never come back. I closed my eyes so she wouldn’t catch me looking. Obviously, I hadn’t done a good job keeping my desires hidden because she was blushing, and that made it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself.
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