“Did you set this up? Are you hoping to go back so you can work things out with her?”
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and wished they could just part friends, without discussing his feelings for the woman who broke his heart, but he knew Monica deserved some answers. “No, Nashville was the last place I wanted to go.”
“Why? Your family’s there, your friends are there… she’s there.”
“That’s the whole reason I didn’t want to go back… because she’s there. And last I heard, she’s still married to the rat bastard who called himself my friend.”
She shook her head. “When are you gonna stop blaming him, Aiden? She chose to marry him. He didn’t force her, and the fact that they’re still married tells me she probably made the right call.”
She wasn’t telling him anything he hadn’t told himself, but thinking that Sela and Neil were more compatible than they were still killed him. “I’m not going back there hopin’ to get her back. I know she’s married now, and I’ve never been the kind of guy who’d even think about goin’ after another man’s wife.” Even if she was my woman first. “Nashville is just where the job is takin’ me.”
“It still drives you crazy thinking of her as someone else’s wife, doesn’t it?”
They were past the point of trying to spare each other’s feelings, and she’d demanded brutal honesty the second she chose to call him out about his feelings for Sela. “Yeah, it does.” He threw his hands up in the air as he started pacing. “We were the best of friends in high school, all of us, me and Sela, Neil and his girlfriend, Sharon. I don’t understand how the hell they went from being friends to lovers in a matter of weeks. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Maybe they had feelings for each other before and you were too blind to see it.”
Aiden knew she was just trying to hurt him because he’d hurt her. After all the nights she’d fallen asleep in his arms while another woman drifted through his mind, she deserved retribution. “I’m sorry, you know what… You don’t need to deal with this. It’s my problem.”
“It is a problem,” she said, quietly. “You do realize that, don’t you?”
“You’re not telling me anything I haven’t told myself, Monica.”
“You’re letting your past dictate your future, and that’s not right. You need to figure out what the hell went wrong in that relationship, why she chose him over you, so you can put it behind you and move on with your life.” She smiled. “I know it’s not gonna be with me, but you’re a good guy and you shouldn’t spend the rest of your life loving a woman who, in my opinion, didn’t deserve you.”
Aiden’s first impulse, as always, was to defend Sela, but he knew Monica was mostly right. He had to find out what happened so he could put it to rest and figure out where to go from here. “Thanks,” he said, leaning over the counter to kiss her cheek. “I meant what I said. I’d like for us to be friends.”
She brushed a strand of hair off his forehead and smiled. “If that’s all you’re offering, I’ll take it.”
“That’s all I can offer.”
“I know,” she whispered. “Because you’ve already given her the rest.”
Chapter Two
Aiden did his homework while in Vancouver, and his first stop in Nashville wasn’t his parents’ home. It was the real estate office owned by the woman who caused him too many years of misery.
He smiled at the pretty brunette receptionist behind the desk. “Is Sela…” He cleared his throat, trying to force her married name past his lips. “Michaels in?”
The receptionist grinned as she pointed her silver pen at him. “Hey, I know you. You’re that hockey player… Aiden Cooper, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I saw you bein’ interviewed on TV last night. That was a pretty sweet deal you signed.”
He dropped his head to hide his grimace. Same old story. He was one of the unlucky few men who had their annual salary posted on the Internet and broadcast all over the news for every gold-digger the world over to see. “I can’t complain. So listen, is your boss in?”
“Um, yeah, I think so.” She picked up the phone, but he held his hand up to stop her.
“Don’t tell her it’s me. Just tell her she has a client here to see her.” At her quizzical expression, he offered, “We’re, uh, old friends. I’d kinda like to surprise her.” He and Sela hadn’t been friends in years, but he would say anything necessary to get past her gatekeeper.
“Sure.”
Aiden held his breath as he listened to her follow his instructions, praying Sela wouldn’t ask for additional information.
“She’ll be out in just a minute.” She smiled. “Can I get you a coffee while you’re waiting?”
His hands were trembling so badly he wouldn’t even trust himself to hold a cup. “No, I’m good, thanks.”
He heard that distinctive raspy voice before he saw her face. The boys on the football team used to swear she worked part-time as a sex phone operator, which triggered more than a few fights as Aiden set out to defend her reputation.
“Corine, I’m waiting for Bob Daniels to call me back. His client is planning to make an offer on the Roberts place and we need to set up an appointment for the offer presentation today. Tell him—” The color drained from her face as she grabbed the edge of the wrap-around desk. “Oh my God, Aiden. What are you doing here?”
He felt like he was stepping back in time, to the first time she walked into their tenth grade chemistry class and dropped her books, scattering them all over the floor at her feet. The blush that colored her cheeks when she felt every eye in the classroom on her stole his breath. Today was no different. She still rendered him speechless.
Everything about her reminded him of the years they’d spent together. The long, thick sweep of her dark hair brushing her waist conjured images of the first time they made love and her hair created a curtain that shielded them from the rest of the world. Those big, dark eyes, shining with excitement the first time he told her he loved her, the hairline scar that graced her forehead. No one else would have noticed it, but he knew it had happened when he’d taken the ATV out on Ty McCall’s ranch and a low-lying branch pierced her delicate skin.
Everything about her recapped the story of their lives, the last time he’d been really, truly happy. When he still believed he could have it all: the woman of his dreams and a career that would give him satisfaction. He knew he should be grateful he got one of the two, but if he had to choose between Sela and hockey, he would choose her every time.
He had not missed the hush that fell over the office when the other agents caught Sela’s reaction to him. “Surprised to see me?”
“Um, I heard you were coming home, but I…”
“Can we talk in your office?”
She seemed to notice for the first time they were not alone. “Oh, I, uh, of course. Come on back.”
He followed her to the end of a long hallway lined with private offices, trying not to notice the tempting swell of her bottom in the tight, black skirt. She still had the same irresistible figure he remembered: tiny waist, full breasts, and a gentle swell to her hips that she’d cursed, but he always loved.
Sela closed the door and gestured to the guest chair on the opposite side of the large oak desk. “Please, have a seat.”
Had he not known her so well once upon a time, he may have been fooled by her calm and composed demeanor, but he saw the way her eyes widened when the familiar undercurrent of awareness passed between them. “I guess not much has changed, huh?”
She claimed the swivel seat behind the desk and linked her hands in front of her. “That’s where you’re wrong. Everything has changed.”
His eyes landed on the large diamond decorating her left hand and she quickly covered it. “Some things will never change,” he said, quietly. “Like the fact that bein’ in the same room with you reminds me of when you were my whole world and I was yours.”
She closed her eyes briefly bef
ore finding the courage to stare him down. “If you came here to talk about the good old days, you’re wasting your time. I don’t have to remind you that I’m married now.”
He looked around for a picture of his former best friend, but found none. “But are you happy?”
“My God, Aiden. Don’t you think it’s a little late to ask that question? We’ve been married eight years.”
He smirked, though nothing about this situation amused him. “Yeah, you know how I celebrate your wedding anniversary?”
She winced before shaking her head. “I’m not sure I want to know.”
“I go out and get loaded. Doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing, or who I’m with. That’s the one night of the year I can’t face without a little help from my old buddy, Jack Daniels.”
“Please, don’t,” she whispered, pushing her chair back from her desk. “Nothing good can come from this. We need to put the past behind us and move on.”
“That’s why I’m here today, to get some answers, so maybe I can move on.”
She blanched at his announcement before sitting back in her swivel chair and linking her hands over her mid-section. “I’m not sure what I can tell you about that time.”
“Why’d you do it? Why the hell did you marry him? We both know you weren’t in love with him. It was me. It was always me.”
Her eyes hardened. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Neil.”
“Tell me he was the guy you always wanted, that you were just passing time with me, and I’ll walk out of here and never bother you again.” The Sela he knew had never been cruel or spiteful, but if she found the nerve to deliver the final blow, that would surely send him reeling. He would keep his word and his distance.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, gripping the wooden armrests of her chair until her knuckles lost color. “Why can’t you just let it go?”
“Can you let it go?” He leaned forward, determined to force her out of the silence she’d lived in for the past eight years. “Tell me you’re in love with your husband, more than you ever loved me, and it’ll be all over.” When she said nothing, he said, “Please. I wanna move on with my life, believe me, but before I can, I need to know that you have too.”
She covered her face with her hands and drew a deep, shuddering breath. “Aiden, you don’t know what you’re asking of me. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. What happened, what I did to you… it still haunts me.”
“Why?” They were finally getting somewhere, and as much as it hurt him to see her in pain, he could not let her off the hook until he had the answers he’d come hoping to find.
“Because you deserved better.” She nibbled on her full bottom lip, a nervous gesture that used to amuse him. “I never intended to hurt you, but I was young and stupid and scared.”
Before he could ask what had spooked her, the office door flew open and her husband stood in the frame, effectively filling the space. They’d stared each other down every time their teams met, even got in a bloody battle a time or two, but they’d never uttered a word to each other since Aiden found out he betrayed him.
“What the hell are you doin’ here?” Neil asked.
Aiden rubbed his hands together and decided to try to provoke his old friend by baiting him. Neil was a hothead, a tough defenseman who’d earned the role as the team’s enforcer, but the two men had mixed it up enough times to know that no one would come out on top, though both were prepared to fight to the death to claim they’d drawn last blood. “Must be my lucky day. I came here to get some answers. I was off to find you next… Looks like you just saved me the trip.”
“We don’t owe you anything. Get out. Now.”
“Is that fear I see in your eyes, Michaels?” Aiden asked, laughing. “Now that I’m back in town, you’re worried about what it might mean for your marriage?”
“You son of a bitch,” Neil said, taking a step forward.
“Stop it,” Sela said, holding her hand up. “This is a place of business, not a locker room. I can’t have you two coming in here trying to stir up trouble. Aiden, I think it’s time for you to leave. Please.”
He wasn’t surprised she’d shown him the door. What choice did she have, with her husband glowering at her like she invited her ex to a cozy little rendezvous at her office in the middle of the afternoon?
“Fine, I’ll give you a little breathing room, but don’t think I’m ready to let this go. I’m gonna get some answers, one way or the other.” He pushed past Neil. “There’s gotta be a few people who know what happened, even if you two aren’t willin’ to tell me.”
Sela sunk back in her chair and heaved a sigh of relief when Aiden closed the door behind him. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Neil glared at the closed door. “Did you know he was comin’?”
“Of course not! If I had, do you think I would have stuck around for his little interrogation?” Her heart still pounded because the Aiden she used to know never made idle threats. If he was determined to find out the truth, he would eventually, and when he did, he would never look her in the eye again without remembering what she did to him or to them.
As painful as letting him believe that she’d fallen in love with his best friend was, it would pale in comparison to the pain of knowing he’d lost what little respect he still had for her.
“If he stops by again, I think we need to think about gettin’ a restrainin’ order.”
Sela reached for the water bottle on her desk and brought it to her lips before she asked, “Don’t you think that’s a little over the top? The press would be all over us.”
Neil started pacing the floor, his hands on his hips. “I don’t care. I’m not gonna have that guy harassin’ my wife. Period.”
“If you were in his position, you know you’d feel the same way.” She hated to provoke her husband, especially when his moods were so volatile, but they both had to live with the course of action they chose. “He was the victim in all of this, not you, and certainly not me.”
“Really, Sela?” he asked, turning to stare her down. “You don’t think I’ve suffered the past eight years… sleepin’ next to a woman I knew was thinkin’ about another man?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “When we got married, I thought it was for the best. You said you wanted—”
“Stop!” he shouted. “I know what I said, but things didn’t turn out the way either one of us planned, now did they?”
Sela didn’t need to be reminded of everything she’d lost. She thought about it every day. “I already said I was sorry about that. A hundred times. If I could do anything to change it, you know I would.”
“You can do something,” he said, bracing his fists on her desk as he leaned forward. “You can remember who was there for you when you needed someone.” He pointed a finger at his chest. “Me. I was the guy there to support you when you were scared out of your mind. Where the hell was he?” he asked, pointing toward the closed door.
“You know that’s not fair,” she whispered. “He didn’t even know about the baby… or my father.”
“No, he didn’t know because you were afraid to tell him. You didn’t want to screw up his precious career. He was entertainin’ multi-million dollar offers, trying to decide which team to reward by wearing their jersey, and you were here, all alone, pregnant with his kid and scared out of your mind ’cause you thought you were gonna lose your old man.”
“You don’t have to remind me.” She covered her mouth with her hands.
“I was the guy who wanted to marry you, and be a father to his kid. When I got that contract, I was the one who stepped up and offered to pay the medical bills so your family wouldn’t have to mortgage their house. I cared about you. I wanted to help, the only way I knew how.”
“I know,” she said, covering his hand with her own. “And I’ve always appreciated that, believe me.”
“Yeah, well, this is your chance to prove it. You owe me a debt of g
ratitude that you’ll never be able to repay.”
Admitting he was right pained her. “I know that.”
“So when he comes back, you better tell him whatever it takes to get rid of him. Is that understood?”
She resented his high-handed approach, but she couldn’t deny she owed him. “I want to forget the past as much as you do.” Trying to change the subject, she asked, “Why’d you stop by? Was there some reason you needed to see me?”
“It can wait until you get home. I’m not in the mood to talk about it anymore.” He turned toward the door. “If you’re harborin’ any fantasies about gettin’ back together with him, don’t. We both know he’d despise you if he ever found out you planned on passin’ his kid off as mine.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“I’ll do what I have to do to protect what’s mine. I told you last night, I’m not lettin’ you out of this marriage without a fight. So you decide how this is gonna play out. Either we carry on the way we have been for the past eight years, or I tell him the truth. That way, we both wind up alone. It’s your call.”
Sela waited until she heard the soft click of the door closing before she gave in to the tears. Neil claimed to love her, but she knew his fear of being alone prompted him to try to hold on to their loveless marriage.
He’d grown up alone, left home by himself long before it was permissible in the eyes of the law, but that didn’t seem to matter to a mother determined to escape the responsibilities of being a single parent. The little five-year-old boy who’d curled up under the covers and cried himself to sleep because he was scared of monsters in the closet wasn’t all that different from the man who claimed to love his wife. He was still scared of being alone, still willing to do or say whatever it took to keep her from leaving him alone to face the skeletons buried deep in his closet.
Sela knew her husband could find another woman to share his house, but having a real relationship with someone meant he would have to reveal the ugly truth about himself eventually, and that obviously was not a prospect he was willing to consider.
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