Together, they would have both bloomed, but she was obviously better off without him. And he ended up with no one.
“There! All fixed.”
“Tally, you can’t just shoot people randomly.”
“It wasn’t random. I knew she’d be happier.”
“How did you know that?”
She shrugged. “I just did. It was like she was a seed. Her love was the tree she’d grow into.”
Tally had seen that girl’s path with his magick! “If you saw that, then you saw what happened to the other boy she was supposed to love.”
“The other boy she was supposed to love was unworthy. Why should she have to suffer so he can bloom? Her leaves and branches were stronger, brighter, and her life will be better without him. His blooms were small and sickly anyway.”
Falcon felt like they were talking about him and Tally rather than the girl Tally had shot. “Who are we to decide that?”
“First, it’s your freaking job. Second, we’re not. Not really. Nature does. Survival of the fittest, right? Those sad little bursts wouldn’t survive the first freeze. The first bit of trouble between them and they’d wither and die.”
“Just because a love hasn’t yet bloomed into what it could be doesn’t mean it wouldn’t ever.”
She sighed. “Right, but again, why should that girl who loves with her whole heart have to suffer until he decides she’s good enough?”
Oh, they definitely weren’t talking about those other people anymore.
“If she loves him, wouldn’t that be worth it?”
“No. Not for one second. He will never love her the way she loves him. So, I saved her a lot of pain. If he never loves, that’s his loss. His failing. It shouldn’t be hers when she was so obviously made to love.”
“I don’t agree.”
“That’s why you’re a shitty Cupid.”
“I wouldn’t even be Cupid if—” He snapped his mouth shut and leaned back on the cloud.
“It’s okay, Falcon. You can say it. It’s the truth. I didn’t hesitate to tell you that you’re a shitty Cupid and you shouldn’t hesitate to tell me that you blame me for putting you in this position. Because I did. My actions brought you here. I own that. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the best with that you have.”
“I’m supposed to be the good guy, Tally. I know it wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But it was my fault. I made my own choices. And you almost died.”
Falcon realized that now was the time to tell her that he forgave her. She shouldn’t have had to ask for his forgiveness the way she had with Tristan. His own words screamed back in his ears. I’m supposed to be the good guy. But Falcon wasn’t. He was selfish and cowardly. He wasn’t the good guy at all.
“Tally, I already said I don’t blame you. I was just being more of what I’m good at. Shitty.”
“You always were the one to try and shoulder everything when Middy and I were growing up. For your mom, your brothers . . . That’s what you’re good at.”
“I know you didn’t ask me for it like you did Tristan, but you shouldn’t have to ask. You should already know that I do forgive you. My mother forgives you. My brothers forgive you. And Middy said there was nothing to even forgive you for.”
Tally’s eyes widened as he spoke; then she closed them, her hands clasped together and her knuckles white from her grip.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Tally sat that way for a long moment and when she opened her eyes, she seemed to be more herself. Until she spoke. “For your own sake, I hope you find a way to believe in love. You don’t have to love me, but if your magick fails and you lose your position as Cupid, you’re going to die.”
“Tally, I care about you.” He wanted to say more, but he didn’t know what.
“I know. I care about you, too. But I meant what I said. It’s not about me. Or even us.”
“No, it’s about the world.” Falcon knew that. He also knew that if his magick failed, the power of his bullets and arrows would fail. Ethelred would no longer be in love with Luminista. The new Cupid could shoot Ethelred again, so he would fall in love with the male twin. And love would break the curse on Emilian Grey. “And you were absolutely right to tell me that I have to do the best with what I have.” In fact, those words had made the decision for him.
His death seemed a small price to pay to set so much else right. But he didn’t want Tally to feel any guilt. She had enough to deal with.
“And you can apply that to everything else, too. You are not your father, Falcon. You’re you. He left. But you don’t run away from responsibility.”
Goddess, how could she still be painting him in such glowing colors? He’d not treated her any better than any of the other assholes in her life. He’d still just been trying to get between her thighs and she’d let him. With no regrets, no recrimination.
Falcon Cherrywood realized then, at that moment, he was an asshole.
But it was a double punch because Tally loved him. The knowledge hit him hard. She loved him. Just the way he was. She didn’t want anything more from him than what he said he could give.
He was the guy with the sickly blooms.
She would bloom so much brighter, be so much happier without him.
Falcon waited a moment, holding on to the realization like a child would a blanket. He let it wrap around him. Just for those few seconds out of time. “What’s she doing now?” he asked, fighting to keep his expression neutral.
Tally peered over the edge of the cloud and when he was sure her attention was fully engaged, he pulled out his love gun and he shot her.
The next time she saw the Angel of Death, all of those feelings she’d had for him when she’d graduated from the Academy would well to the surface with the exquisite intensity of first love. She’d forget anything she felt for Falcon but sisterly affection.
He knew it was the right thing to do, but it left him with a hole inside him—dark and cavernous.
“She’s gone now. The cloud was moving too fast.” Tally smiled up at him. “So, that was enough work for one day, I think.”
“Yeah? You’d be a bad Cupid, too.” Speaking of bad Cupid, he was going to shoot the ever-loving hell out of Tristan, too. Just to make sure that when he’d said he loved Tally, he’d meant it.
“Probably. I like this cloud, though. I think we should break it in.” She flashed him a wicked smile.
Falcon almost went to her, fell on his knees and buried his face in her hair, crushing her lips to his so she’d know she belonged to him. But he wasn’t going to be selfish anymore. He had to let her go.
So he was going to tell her the truth.
“Tally,” he began, his voice lower, more raspy than before.
“Oh. I see. Okay.” Invisible armor snapped into place—her shoulders squared, her chin lifted in defiance, her body language tilted away from him. If he hadn’t seen her bottom lip quiver for that single second, he never would have known how much he’d hurt her.
“I have to explain.”
“You don’t need to do that. I always knew this was short-term.”
“It’s important to me that you hear what I have to say. You’re going to need to choose another Heavenly parole officer.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just take me back to the beach house.”
“No, damn it. Listen.” Her lashes fluttered and she drew her gaze slowly up to meet his. “I am going to die, Tally. I don’t believe in love and I can’t force it. I don’t want to believe in it. There is nothing that can change that. All of my magick dies with me. Except for the bullet I just shot you with. You’re going to be happy with Tristan. I promised you that you wouldn’t fail, and you won’t.”
Her mouth fell open in horror, but then promptly snapped shut. “You’re an asshole, Falcon Cherrywood. A number-one, first-class asshole. This job is fucking perfect for you. I’m not angry because you don’t want to love me, let’s be clear on that. I’m pissed that you
would manipulate my feelings for someone I told you I didn’t really love and didn’t want to love. It would be just like if I stole your gun and shot you so you’d love me.”
She grabbed the bottle of wine and disappeared.
“That anger is what I’m counting on,” he said to the empty space where she’d been. Then it occurred to him she’d teleported. That definitely violated the no magick rule. Her ass was really going to be in a sling. Shit. He used his magick to locate her and teleported after.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Fly, My Pretty, Fly
Tally materialized in the front room of the beach house, much to everyone’s surprise. Ethelred and Luminista were playing Twister, and there were boxes of board games spread around the living room. A teapot and two proper cups were on the end table, one with a lipstick print.
“Thought you couldn’t be here because you’re scared of my brother?” Luminista sneered as she untangled herself from Ethelred.
“Don’t fuck with me today, little girl.” Tally turned her attention to the demon. “Quick, can you ward the place against angels?”
“I can, but the question is, will I?” A grin bloomed like something rancid on his face.
“Look, I can ward the place against both of you. But I don’t know how to do just one. So, your choice.”
Ethelred looked disappointed, but waved his hand and dark sigils burned themselves over all the doorways and windows. “You do know that just gave me complete control over you, don’t you? This is now my domain.”
Tally’s magick crackled around her fingers in response to the threat.
“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!” Ethelred clapped.
The front door exploded inward with such force, it was blown off the hinges. “Why can’t I come in?” Falcon demanded. “What have you done?” he said to Ethelred.
“Only what our parolee asked of me. Seems like she doesn’t want to see you.”
“Tally,” Falcon began.
Morrigan, but she couldn’t even look at him. It hurt too much. Part of her screamed that if he was going to die, she should take what time she could get with him. He’d realized how she felt about him and he’d pushed her away as hard and fast as he could. It wasn’t enough that she accepted he didn’t love her; he didn’t want her love, either.
“Go.”
“You teleported. Your magick . . .”
“So what, Falcon? I used it. I chose to use it. I violated my parole. Your job is done. Do what you want as long as it’s away from here.” She knew she should have told him Merlin had released her for good behavior, but she decided she didn’t owe Falcon any explanations.
He nodded slowly, didn’t speak, but turned and flew away.
It was as if his presence had been a prop, holding her up. Tally’s legs were suddenly boneless and Ethelred guided her to sit on the couch.
“Pour Tally a cup of tea, Lumi.”
“Don’t call me that. And I certainly will do no such thing as—” Luminista broke off and her eyes narrowed. “Fine.”
“Don’t put anything but sugar and milk in it, either.”
The gypsy girl growled in displeasure.
Ethelred sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. “There, there. Tell me what happened.”
Tally looked at Ethelred like he’d grown another head. Why was he being so . . .
“What? Am I doing it wrong again? Lumi says this is comforting.”
“It is.” Tally nodded slowly. “But it’s you.”
“Yes, yes. Whatever. Are you going to tell us all about your big drama or not? We were playing Twister and I was winning.”
“You liar. I was winning!” Luminista cried.
Ethelred smirked. “You were winning the game, but I was winning.”
“I thought you said you weren’t into girls just now?”
The demon shrugged. “Stupid Cupid went a-meddling. What can I do, but obey?”
“Really?” She rolled her eyes. “He is such a bastard.” Even saying that made her want to cry. He wasn’t a bastard. He’d said what he wanted from the beginning. Warned her. And she’d skipped along the primrose path, like she always did, only to come to the same end. She should’ve known better. She really should have.
Luminista was on the other side of her. “He shot you, didn’t he? To make you love someone else?”
“How did you know?” Tally demanded.
“Some things are universal. I guess I don’t need to hate you anymore. But Ethelred is mine, okay?”
“Woman, what have I told you about staking your claim? I’m a demon. I’m not yours. In fact, I’m more determined than ever to seduce Falcon. And this one. Just because.”
“Not by yourself, you’re not.”
Ethelred perked up, his attention now firmly on Luminista. “Oh, really?”
“Can you two go upstairs to play your sex games? I’m kind of having a meltdown right now.”
“No, this is the perfect time to play sex games. You’re at your most vulnerable,” Ethelred supplied happily.
Tally narrowed her eyes and power crackled around her fingers again.
“That’s so cool, you have to teach me how to do that,” Luminista squealed.
“About that, you know you’re not supposed to be using your power. I mean, I’m all for Team Hell, but you know I like to come by my wins honestly. Mostly.”
“Oh, I’m not on parole anymore. Merlin let me off for good behavior, lessons learned, and all that. I came here because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“I know what that’s like, too.” Luminista nodded.
Ethelred perked up again. “And this is where we make our exit, Lumi, darkling.”
“Stop calling me that.”
Ethelred dragged her from the couch and up the stairs. Tally wondered what the big hurry was until she saw Emilian Grey emerge from the garage. He froze, with his hand on the doorframe.
She hadn’t even stopped to think he’d be here.
The heavy silver collar around his neck did little to reassure her, especially as his eyes began to change to an awful uric hue. He closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly with the deep breaths he forced into his body.
“I thought you weren’t going to be here,” he said.
“Me, too.”
They were both silent for a long moment. His eyes were still closed. “Can we talk, if I stay over here?” he asked her.
He held the world’s destruction inside him. Poor bastard. Tally knew exactly how he felt. “No.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t have to stay over there. When you have control of yourself, you can come sit next to me.”
His eyes opened and the uric color was still there. The animalistic hunger in them made her want to rear back, to run and keep running until she was sure he’d never catch her. But she held her ground. “You stink of fear.” The voice wasn’t Emilian’s.
“You would be the one stinking of fear if you’d met me a few months ago. I want to talk to Emilian. What you and I have to say to each other will keep until later.” Later as in never.
Emilian’s eyes changed back to a strange silver with yellow rings around the iris, and it occurred to her that even though he was the apocalypse, he was very beautiful.
The gypsy prince breathed for a few more moments, just inhaling and exhaling, as if that in itself were a victory for him. Then he made his way over to her. Each step was careful and measured until he sat down next to her.
Tally would admit that she was afraid. Fear ran thicker than blood in her veins.
“How did you do that?” he asked.
“Do what?”
“You quieted the beast. He obeyed you. He’s afraid of you. Are you a Crown Princess of Hell?”
“No, but I’m pretty sure I’m headed to that sunny locale in a handbasket as we speak.” She gave him a weak smile. “Afraid of me? I highly doubt that. I’m just a witch.”
“That’s
why I changed back to myself at the cabin. He was afraid.”
They were both quiet again, the silence awkward and gravid with something Tally couldn’t name.
“I know sorry isn’t adequate, but I am. Fuck, but I’m sorry.”
Tally pushed her small hand into his and he looked up at her, eyes wide with disbelief. “It’s okay, Emilian. Sorry is enough.”
He patted her hand, but tried to pull away. “Not when I’m going to be the end of all things.”
She refused to let go of him. “Sometimes, sorry is all we have. These dark things, they get inside us and they feed on guilt and pain. We keep feeding them because we don’t know what else to do.”
“How do you know? I can’t forgive myself for what I know I’m going to do. Because I know what’s going to happen. I should be able to stop it.”
“I do know, Emilian. I do.” Tally nodded. “To people in the magickal world, I’m the story they tell their children to get them to mind. Like the boogeyman. If people see me on the street, they cross to the other side to avoid me. They spit on the ground where I’ve walked in case it’s cursed. What’s your body count?”
“What?”
“How many people has your beast killed?” she asked softly.
“None. But he’s going to kill—”
“Then you have nothing to be sorry for yet. The evil that was inside me has a body count, Emilian. And if not for the sacrifice of good people, it could have been the whole world. I could have been the apocalypse for both the mortal and the magickal world. I have to live with that. So when I say that I understand the burden you carry, I do.”
The gypsy prince seemed to dissolve in front of her, melting against her as he buried his face in her neck like a small boy who’d skinned his knee.
Tally carded her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. “It’s okay, Emilian. You’re not alone.” He shuddered against her with a dry sound of absolute wretchedness. There was pain in that sound such as few people would ever know. Such as no one should have to know. “You’re not alone,” she said again.
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