The blood stain was the only thing in the room that made tears well in my eyes. Now that I was back I only felt numbness, like my prolonged absence took the memories away. He planted a kiss in my hair and sighed.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” I knew what he was implying. Let’s get us cleaned up. There wasn’t going to be any such thing as a lonely shower ever again. I was perfectly content with that. Plus, the silk of the dress that Beth had buried me in was stuck to my skin. My bare feet had left watery footprints down the hall, but no one seemed to care.
Gordon squeezed past me and walked into the bathroom. He still moved like a predator, but he had been in Hell longer than I had and that would take longer to disappear. If it ever did. Nausea began to rise in my throat once more, and I knew why. It wasn’t the thought of Gordon being the animal I had seen in Hell, it was our little bean nestled in the warmth of my belly. Not only was there the queasiness that reassured me that he or she was still there, but the immense hunger that I was beginning to feel underneath that. Like I hadn’t eaten in years. As soon as this was done we were going to talk over food. I wasn’t going to let it happen any other way.
I looked to the blood stain on the floor and had to tear my eyes away once I heard the water running. I walked into the room in time to watch Gordon remove the filthy shirt, lifting it over his head. His skin beneath was filthy. He saw me and smirked, removing the rest of his clothes and then, coming to me, hands held out to remove mine. With one quick motion the torn and dirty dress was over my head and on the floor. He led me to the shower, moving the shower curtain so I could get in. The water was scalding, just how I liked it. He stepped behind me, placing his hands on my hips to steady himself as his foot nearly slipped out from underneath him on the slick bottom. I wasn’t even aware of the water running down my skin. I was only aware of him.
One of his hands slid from my hip to my belly like he was trying to sense if our little bean was still there. I turned to him to see a slight smile playing across his lips. He had been reassured. The water stung my arm and my shoulders, but I didn’t care. I was finally happy in what felt like the longest time. Happy and calm. I placed my head on his chest and let the water run over us, washing the dirt, blood, and fear away. I could hear his heartbeat, steady and rhythmic. It made me want to close my eyes and stay there forever.
Then both of his hands were on my hips, pushing me against the cold wall of the shower. I made a slight yelp of surprise at the chill on my back, and he kissed me with a savage hunger that left me breathless. His hands moved to my wrists, taking them gently and lifting my arms above my head. His body pressed against mine, not an inch untouched. He traced the inside of my arm, the line of my jaw, and then cupped around my neck, holding me to him. I could feel the beast come to life, purring and curling through my muscles.
My senses exploded and again I felt like a raw nerve ending, feeling everything. I could feel his love and his desire and mine like we were one. He took his other hand and placed it on my side right above my ribcage ends, digging his fingers into my skin. . It was hot. The steam rose around us and I could smell jasmine. He bent his head to kiss the scar along my collarbone.
I leaned my head against the wall of the shower, closed my eyes, and let every sensation roll over me like a tidal wave. Every graze of skin. The stubble along his jaw line. My senses were heightened and everything felt magnified by a thousand. The trail of kisses suddenly stopped and Gordon whispered my name. Breathless. I opened my eyes to look at him and I could see the heat and amber of them reflecting in the pitch blackness of his.
I was still in complete awe of him. The strong line of his jaw decorated with stubble, his black eyes with life inside of them, and his angelic face. The velvet caress of his voice on my skin. The way my heart fluttered when he said three little words, his breath coming in short gasps.
“I love you,” he said. I could even see the emotion in his eyes. I had never doubted the truth of those feelings before, but it was always nice to know that the words weren’t being spoken lightly. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and wrapped my arms around him, letting the words slip through my lips in a whisper.
I wasn’t sure what I would do without the man in front of me. As the water steamed around us I could smell him in the air. It was the fire within him reacting with the fire in me, and we were caught in this dance together. He began to trail light kisses on my temple until I turned and caught his mouth with mine. The scent of him was intoxicating. It was a mixture of the soot and ash in Hell, and his own dark and enticing aroma.
His hands were back on my hips, pushing me into the wall of the shower once more. As we entwined, our little bean decided it had a different idea. The beast quickly subsided as I felt the nausea roll in. It was clawing its way up my throat and I pushed Gordon away, scrambling over the ledge of the tub and pushing back the shower curtain in one swift move. It was like liquid fire burning its way up my throat as I heaved into the sparkling white basin of the toilet, sitting on the floor.
I heard the water in the shower turn off and the water in the sink turn on, and then off. I knew if I moved I would be heaving all over again. I hadn’t even eaten anything since we surfaced. First hit of morning sickness on the surface. Wasn’t that just lovely?
A brush of warm fingers and then a cool rag was on my neck and he began to rub my shoulders as I sat there huddled over the porcelain. He stopped rubbing my shoulders long enough to envelope my shoulders with a warm and soft towel. Once the retching had stopped I laid my head on my arm on the cool surface turned to look at the wall, and found myself looking directly into perfectly black orbs instead. He was now crouched there with a weak smile on his face and concern in his eyes. Neither one of us had never dealt with this before so we would be learning a few things. We knew our little bean was there. We had confirmed it ourselves in Hell, but I needed to see it with my eyes. I needed the confirmation that a little pink plus sign gave.
I decided, in that moment as he looked at me, that I would keep that to myself until the confirmation had been made. And I wasn’t telling anyone until then either. After all, we had conceived in Hell so who knew if I was still pregnant with our child? I wasn’t sure if this was a residual feeling or not, and I wanted to be sure. The possibility of disappointment made my eyes well with tears. What happened to the unborn in Hell if we had lost it when I resurfaced? I was terrified of the answer. I was sure Gordon had to have been thinking the same exact thing. My heart was breaking at the loss before I had even had a chance to be sure, and he could see it.
He pulled me into his arms, leaning against the wall behind us, pulling me in to lie against his chest. I could feel his chest rise and fall and felt instantly comforted. He placed his palm on my belly and I could feel the warmth of his hand spread, then a tiny heartbeat fluttered deep from inside. He was trying to show me that our baby, our bean was still nestled inside of me safe and sound with the tiny flurry that could possibly prove it.
“I’m sure everything is just fine,” he breathed into my hair. I sighed and relaxed, my body sagging into his.
“I just want to be sure.” I placed my hand on top of his, looking down with wonder. “I want our little bean to be safe and sound.” I paused. “I want our little family to be safe and sound.”
Not too long after this we were sitting in the bedroom, Gordon stitching up my arm and bandaging me up. Just like old times.
Chapter 4:
Into the Nothing
All of us were huddled in the living room. I was sitting on a backless couch in front of the fire, facing away from it with Gordon behind me, hands on my shoulders. I had to admit the living room looked very different, except for this couch. This was the same couch I had chosen for this exact spot when we moved in, and the one Chase has spent the night on the last time I was seen alive. I loved this couch. The fabric was soft and welcoming. I couldn’t stop rubbing my hand over it. It felt friendly and calming. There was only one other thing that remained un
changed in the living room. The chest of weapons I had also left behind was still there and I wondered if all of my own weapons were still inside. If they were, I was betting they were as clean as a whistle from Beth and Chase’s continued use and manicuring. I had no idea how long I had been gone.
As if she had been reading my mind Beth stated, “You’ve been gone for six months.” She was watching me and gauging my reactions, and I couldn’t help but watch her also. She had changed so much in those six months. The most striking difference was the scar. “What happened to you? Where did you go?” Her arms were crossed, hugging her belly like she was closing herself off. Yes, a lot had happened in the six months I was gone. She would’ve never closed herself off from me before now.
I looked from her to Chase, and then back to her before answering. “We were in Hell.” I let those words sink in. Hell. That was where we were, but I still had no idea how I had ended up there. Gordon was a demon. That was our answer as far as he was concerned. I had a theory about me, but I wasn’t entirely sure if it was one that Beth truly wanted to hear.
Both of them looked shocked when they heard my answer. Of course, it wasn’t like it was the one that at least Beth had expected. I fought to save the world every day. Even I was betting I would end up in Heaven, if not just reincarnated like what usually happened. But Hell? That was the nice curve ball fate decided to throw.
“How did you get out?” Chase asked. I’ll be honest. I wasn’t expecting to him have hung around for six months to help out after I died.
“A demon named Escara,” I looked down at the floor, knowing what kind of reaction those words would get me. But nothing was said. Not even a noise was made. “She helped us get out. She wants Lilith dead as much as we do, and was willing to pay the ultimate price for it. I will make sure she died for a reason.” A weighted silence fell over us again. I meant every word. I didn’t want Escara to have died in vain. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I was going to kill Lilith. This wasn’t just about me anymore. There was no doubt in my mind she was out for all of us.
Beth moved to the chest that was hopefully still filled with weapons. “Guessing from the vampire horde that followed you guys here, I think we can safely say Lilith knows you’re back. It’s daylight so we should be safe enough to go and get provisions. We are running low. Do you want to come with?” She bent down and undid the latch, throwing the lid back. It struck the wall with a loud thud that made me jump. Yes, I was easily startled these days. She rummaged through the chest and then pulled something out. She held out my bow with a shoulder pouch full of arrows. “I made sure to keep these and everything you had in here, just in case.” She winked and I tentatively took the bow and arrows from her hands. I was in awe that she had held onto it, or even thought I was coming back.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I let my fingers travel over the string, admiring the bow. There was one question burning in my mind. “How is my father?” I hadn’t seen him since the meeting with Lilith, and I wanted to know whether he was okay. A part of me was hoping so, but another part felt abandoned. Beth looked to Chase, questioning whether she should tell me anything. The hesitation sent my heart racing.
“She needs to know,” he said. He leaned against the desk behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. I let my eyes travel back to Beth’s saddened face and I knew what f news was coming. She wiped her hands on her jeans and came to a sitting position in front of me, her scar glaring at me as she moved. I would have to ask her what the hell had happened. Then she took my hands in hers and looked directly into my eyes, tears welling up as she looked at me. They were threatening to spill over, but her wide eyes kept them from falling.
“He was killed during the first wave. I’m sorry.” She paused, licking her lips. “After you were gone Lilith moved fast. She was turning people left and right and we couldn’t stay ahead of her. It’s like a ghost town out there until the sun goes down. That’s why we have the barrier.”
All I could do stare at her. Killed during the first wave? Killed? Or turned and then killed? “Did she turn him?” I felt Gordon’s hands tighten slightly on my shoulders as the tension flexed through his arms. I could even feel it ripple through my own body it was so intense.
She shook her head and said, “He was too old for her to turn. She was only turning the young and able bodied. They have less of a turn and recovery time, I guess.” She said that last part with a shrug. Tears were welling in my eyes and grief flooded through me, taking no prisoners. I would’ve felt like I had nothing left if it weren’t for the fact that I had three people I cared about, there with me, to help me pick up the pieces of a world Lilith had shattered. I had Gordon, the love of my life, and the promise of new life inside of me. At least I hoped. I had already lost enough, and I wasn’t going to let Lilith take anything else. I had had enough. “The first wave was how I ended up with this. After that I took it upon myself to grow as a witch to keep us safe. Granted, I’ve learned a few new things, but I’m not Gandalf.” She pointed to her scar.
“What are we going to do about Lilith?” I asked through gritted teeth. I hadn’t noticed, but I was gripping Beth’s hands so hard she was wincing a little. I released her hands and reached up to hold one of Gordon’s and he squeezed back reassuringly. I felt like I could fall apart, but he was holding me together. I could feel the beast roiling inside of me, but I kept it pushed down. The anger, grief, and shock of it all weren’t helping me keep a handle on it. It was threatening to break free, but I didn’t want that unless there was something that I could kill.
“That was something we have been trying to work on. We’re not sure exactly how we can kill her. There just isn’t much out there.” She looked down at her hands in her lap and I could tell she was picking at her fingernails. It was one of the few nervous habits she had. “Right now all we can do is try to survive until we can find something concrete and come up with a plan.” Beth stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans again. “Chase, how are we on provisions?”
Chase pushed away from the desk and walked towards us. His amber eyes watched us closely, like he wasn’t sure if we were dangerous or not. We were dangerous, just not to him. “We had enough to last a week, but now only a few days. We would need to make a run, and we should do it while the sun is up. It’s bad enough crawlers are out there. We don’t need vampires on us too.”
“Crawlers?” Gordon inquired from behind me. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to open my mouth. It wasn’t something I had ever heard of before now. Apparently a lot had changed while we had been gone, even more than we thought. Sam was quiet, taking it all in. She was seated on the floor against a far wall, watching it all unfold and listening intently. I had completely forgotten she was there.
“They’re Lilith’s half breeds that can go out in the sunlight. They’re just as vicious and can be killed only by decapitation.” Chase had obviously seen a lot of these things. Just how many were there and what else had she cooked up? There was no telling until we went out there. I stood and smoothed my shirt, trying to remain composed but knew I couldn’t for long. I needed some hardcore violence. I wanted to make Lilith suffer.
“So, if we need provisions, let’s go.” I threw the quiver of arrows over my shoulder. I didn’t want to sit here anymore. I wanted to see what it was like out there because this definitely didn’t sound like the world I had left behind. Beth looked confused.
“I thought you would want to rest,” she said, placing a gentle hand on my arm. “I’d hate for you to rip your stitches.”
My arm wasn’t even painful and I could barely tell the stitches were there. It annoyed me that she thought I wouldn’t want to go. Of course I did. I had been away for six months and the world had completely changed and I wanted to know just how drastic that change was. When we had crossed over I could tell things weren’t the same.
“I’m okay. I’m sure it’s almost healed. It’ll be fine,” I said with a smile. If it came off sarcastic I didn’t mean for it to, but
I was annoyed and she would know it one way or another. I was the Executioner, not a child that needed to be left at home while my parents went off to market. Beth whispered an okay and left the room. I walked to the chest and began to pull things out. I quickly found what I was looking for. My silver tipped machete. Life was good again.
I barely noticed Sam anymore as she huddled in the corner. No doubt nervous about the new people to enter her life. I wasn’t sure if I should leave her there or not. I walked over to her once Beth and Chase had left the room and knelt down in front of her. She was huddled around her legs, arms wrapped around then like a safe haven. Her eyes were closed so I touched her arm. She stiffened and still didn’t open them.
“Sam? We’re leaving now to get some supplies? Do you want to come?” I paused. “I’ll understand if you want to rest or get used to everything.” Her eyes snapped open and pierced my own.
“No, I’m okay. I’ll stay here.”
I wasn’t sure if she just meant here as in the house or here as in this specific corner in this room, but I knew she would need her space. She had to get used to living again. That was something I understood.
“Okay. Let me take you to a room really quick before we do.”
There was an imperceptible nod as she stood, unfolding like an accordion and sticking to me as closely as she could. Chase’s room was the only one that I could think of to put her in and I knew he wouldn’t mind. That red couch was more comfortable than the beds were anyways. Leading her up the stairs and to the room, I opened the door and ushered her gently inside.
“This is Chase’s room, but I’m sure that he won’t mind if you stay in here for a while. Get some rest. We’ll be back shortly.” That was all I knew to say to her. I had no other reassuring words to offer. She was back on the surface and it was almost as bad, if not worse, then the Hell she had just come from. I was only hoping that she would come out of the funk before anything major happened.
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