by Lexi Ostrow
She felt her smile grow as he said it, and she bit the inside of her cheek to not beam at him any further. Her hand reached up and brushed the curtain away, exposing nothing that looked like a forest outside.
“Not that I will lie and say I’m not eager to see one, to compare, I’m just not certain how that’s going to be possible.” She didn’t stop gazing out the window and at the houses she could see beyond it.
“That’s the best part of the area. You may have seen big tall buildings back at my place and very little trees here, but the Seattle area is known for its city and rural life. We’re not far from Mount Rainier, it will be close enough to a forest.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she laughed. “Besides, I have a very cool trick I can do.”
A knock sounded on the door. “Dale, Dale? Who on Earth are you speaking to at seven a.m.?”
Breena heard the other woman’s voice and had it sounded a little younger she might have wanted to kill the woman, but as it was not, she assumed it was his mother.
He flushed. “Just a quick call, Mom. I’m sorry. I’m going to head out soon, thanks for letting me crash here.”
She heard his mother sigh through the door, and she bit her lip not to laugh, parents were parents.
“You ran from me to your parents’ house?”
“Yes, well, I’m not what you would consider popular. Beyond the people I associate with for my job, I don’t do friends.”
His voice was laced with bitterness, and she wondered if that had anything to do with why he liked to have control over people, because he’d never had anyone to just be with.
“Go back to what you wanted to show me, and this trick of yours. If you’re certain I’m too evil, too corrupt a soul, I would like to be stripped of this experience and move on before I do become attached to this world and the idea of not being controlled by words written on a paper.”
He nodded. “I can understand, and I know this situation isn’t ideal. But, last night, I may have found a way for this to work, and spending time with you is going to be the only way to know.”
She bristled at his comment, not liking the way he referred to the situation. Just leave it alone, Breena, she told herself, and instead got out of bed and grabbed her grass green skirt and black shirt from the floor. The panties were a little further away, and she dressed quickly, knowing that Dale hadn’t moved at all, feeling his eyes on her as she did though.
“Fine,” anger laced her words, but if it bothered him, he didn’t show it.
Just as when Leather Jacket had opened a doorway, the space in front of them began to waver and distort. One moment, she was simply looking at a normal room, and then the next, big thick tree trunks with drooping branches covered in leaves were before them.
“Oh my heavens. You can open doorways too.”
Dale turned and grinned at her, a decidedly cocky look, and she liked the way his face lit up. “I told you, I’m the most powerful of my kind, and I’m the only one who can do it.” He motioned for her to go forward. “After you.”
Breena hesitated. She couldn’t be certain he wasn’t using this as a trick to send her away. She growled at herself and shook her head. She’d never cared what someone thought or how a man treated her before, and she could tell she was going to grow sick of it occurring with Dale. Amazing sex couldn’t possibly be worth the insecurity she was feeling.
Just as with the doorway to Dale, she stepped through and felt nothing, but that ended as soon as she appeared out the other side. The smell of the forest was so strong that it assaulted her nose. Everything seemed to descend on her senses at once. The thick pine smell, the light mixture of grass, the chirping of the birds—it was all so much more vivid than in her forest.
Everything smelled differently too, stronger. The scent of dirt was headier, and the tree leaves somehow smelt fresher. She spun slowly, trying to take everything in and succeeding in taking almost nothing in because she was so overwhelmed. The colors seemed to jump out at her, and she wondered how the forest could be so much more than a magical one.
She barely felt Dale’s hands come down on her shoulders and give her a little squeeze. “Do you like it?”
She leaned her head back and found his green eyes twinkling at her. He sincerely wanted her to enjoy this—maybe this version of him, the one that didn’t want to do morally corrupt things, was a decent version. It was not as if she’d met the other to know.
Tentatively, she reached out with her hand and touched a low hanging branch nearest to them. The texture of the leaf was identical to back home, and she felt a little sadness that, while the smell might be stronger and the animals louder, her forest was no different from a normal one. She wasn’t certain what she’d been expecting, but she wasn’t any less mystified by the beauty of their surroundings simply because it was so similar to what she’d grown up with.
She turned to look at Dale in order to answer his question, and she noticed the doorway was closed, virtually trapping them on Mount Rainier. “Can you do this to anywhere?” Could he send her home so easily?
Dale shook his head. “I can only travel to places I’ve been.” The smile on his face twisted with hurt just a little. “My father, before he walked out on my mother, always tried to make me more masculine. I liked books and math, not hiking and sports. God, I hated this place. He would drag me here so many weekends and force me to ‘live off the land’ like a man should.”
His shoulders grew tight with tension, and the same look of anger that she’d grown accustomed to was back. She found herself missing the glimpse of the playful side she’d seen of him.
“I was never good enough for him, never the child he wanted, and I know it’s why he walked out on us. I just know it.”
He wasn’t talking to her, but rather to the ground. Her hand gently reached up and touched his cheek. He flinched, but she didn’t pull back. His eyes met hers and they softened, some of the pain melted out. She liked that, despite his dislike of who she was, he seemed to be prey to all the feelings and emotions toward her that she was toward him. If she could sincerely gain access to the playful Dale from moments before, she had a feeling she would like him quite a bit more.
His words during the brief fight came back to her then. She’d not thought anything of them, just assumed he liked to taunt people in a fight, but now she knew the truth. His words had been bitter reminders from his past. The men who’d attacked him hadn’t been truly looking for him and his father hadn’t truly wanted him. The pain of it tore through her, and she wanted to do something for him. She wanted to show him that she might enjoy doing what came natural to her, but that she was indeed so much more than a killer. She did what she did to protect her people, to keep her sister from walking the darker path. There had to be something he could find noble in that, not that he had even asked why she did what she did. Was it possible he already knew?
Breena sighed; once more annoyed with the knowledge that Dale had simply read her in a book. Her whole life had seemed filled with purpose, and the asshole in leather had taken it from her. Then, as quickly as he’d ruined her life, he’d offered her the chance to be something real, to protect someone and fight another war. He’d been dripping with evil, but he’d offered her the chance to be what she’d always wanted—just like Dale.
She offered him a small smile and held her hand out. “Will you walk with me? I’d like to see more of your mountainside forest. There is nothing I find different right now, but like my forest, yours may hold secrets in its deepest parts.”
He slipped his hand into hers and they walked, silently moving through the trees and listening to the sounds of the forest around them. She wanted to ask him questions, to try to understand why a father would walk out on a child for liking the same things her father seemed to pride Megara on and chide her for not caring about. They had fallen into a truce, and she loved how his hand felt holding hers, loved being able to hear his heartbeat in the quiet of the forest. For the first time in two days, she felt a
s if there was a reason she would want to help him fight for the side that was going to win. There was no matter that he wasn’t ready to see the truth in just who would win.
Breena didn’t doubt the side under Leather Jacket’s command would be the victors. He was prepared to play any card, break any rule, hurt anyone in his path, to get what he needed. The only difference was she’d never felt evil dripping off her father’s soul the way she had Leather Jacket’s. Her father did what he did to protect his family, as much as for the power to control two realms. The man in the leather jacket, he did it solely to win. That meant he was a force to reckon with, and the one that would emerge victorious.
She had to find a way to convince Dale that doing what needed to be done, that having power, wasn’t evil. He was halfway there, after all. She saw how he talked about his gifts. He enjoyed being what he was, and if she could just show him throwing the rules out the window could lead to victory, maybe she could convince him to fight for Leather Jacket. She had a feeling, if she didn’t get him to swap sides, Dale might wind up dead.
Dale broke the silence, and his words were loud in the quiet early morning of the forest. “Tell me about your world, Breena. I’m not really one for fairy tales, no pun intended. But in reading, there were more than just sprites in your father’s court. More than fairies in the Seelie court.”
“I’m not certain what a fairy tale is, and I’m doing my best not to let it anger me because it sounds as if it’s another way you’re pointing out I’m not actually real.”
“Sorry,” his voice was soft, his tone genuine.
She nodded. “I know you didn’t mean it, I’m just a little upset by the idea still. I’m sure all Guardians are at first.”
He nodded and she continued.
“The courts of the Seelie and the Unseelie have nothing to do with your species. Rather, more the nature of your magic,” she paused, knowing that, if she continued, it would only aid him in pushing her away.
“Go on.”
“I’m trying to say this delicately, as I know how it will make me seem. Seelie magic tends to be kinder, as do the creatures that wield it, whereas the Unseelie magic tends to be a bit darker.” She looked into his eyes. “And the creatures more malicious.”
It was Dale’s turn to nod, his eyes narrowed and the judgment in them stung. “I see.”
Breena sighed. “No, I truly do not think you do. Where there is good, there can also be evil, and vice versa. We have healers. We have mothers that love their children. We just aren’t as sugar and spice as the Seelie. It’s how we are born. There can be a shift, of course, it is the way one uses the powers that honestly dictates the court you are in.”
“But not for the daughter of the king?” The question was spoken more like an insult.
“Of course not. However could I be my own fucking person if I’m not even real,” she spat.
Silence unfolded between them again, and as they walked, she could hear the crunch of dead leaves beneath their feet. She hadn’t meant to get so upset with him, she needed him as much as he needed her, and maybe, she could show him that things would work themselves out.
“Why do you think your father left because of you?” The question might have been abrupt, but the way he’d spoken about his father, she knew it was important to him.
Which made it important to her.
Dale didn’t stop walking, but he stumbled when she asked. He cleared his throat, continued to look straight ahead and tugged her just slightly. “Because I used to hear them fighting about me. When they thought I was asleep, I could hear him shouting at my mother, telling her it was her fault that I had my head stuck in the books.” Dale uttered a harsh laugh. “I’m shocked he didn’t wander back in after I made my first million at twenty-two. It’s rather impressive you know.” There was nothing boastful in his tone, despite his statement, only a pain as sharp as a dagger slice.
Her heart slowly cracked tiny fissures of hurt that she was shocked she could even feel for another person. Her mother had been murdered in the war. She couldn’t imagine the pain of a parent not wanting their child. It was not done in her clan. They were family and family protected one another from hurt. Much in the way she protected Megara from having to do the dirty work in the war.
“I’m sorry, Dale. I cannot imagine what growing up thinking your father disliked you was like.”
“Try growing up knowing he was the reason your mother was alone.” He cleared his throat and finally stopped walking. “I’m sorry, Breena. This isn’t your fault. But these things, I don’t like talking about them. I sometimes think that, if my father hadn’t left, I would have had someone to teach me how to stand up to the bullies slamming me into lockers and stuffing me inside toilet stalls if I didn’t do their work for them. But I didn’t, and I wound up falling in hard with a drug dealer. I didn’t use, but she did. It ended badly, and when I was twenty-three, she was murdered over it and my first Guardian arrived. “
“So you blame your choices on your father?” She hadn’t meant for it to sound accusatory, but it must have because Dale dropped her hand and snarled at her.
“I take responsibility for my actions. Even in choosing in you, a character certainly not with a solid head on her shoulders, one who is more apt to slice someone’s throat if her father says jump than defy him.”
Her words shouldn’t have stung him, but they did and he had a damn good feeling his had stung her right back. He reached out and snaked a hand around her waist as she tried to pull away from him. He shouldn’t have done it, but for some reason, he couldn’t let her be mad or hurt by him. Even if he knew it was the best chance to disconnect from her besides reading a new book, Leather Jacket had made it clear, they were breaking a rule letting him read two worlds and pull a Guardian. He wouldn’t stand a chance with another book.
“I thought I had daddy issues, I’ve got nothing on you, little sprite.” The vileness in his voice shocked even him. Everything had been pleasant.
Breena was his last hope to be a Word Speaker and not to die. Was that reason enough to use her? To let himself sink into the shadow she cast around herself, even if she didn’t realize she did it?
No. He’d made a promise, and even if all the power had to be lost, it would be better than siding with someone who might be working for Leather Jacket. He took his hand off her and was shocked when she didn’t move away from him, she truly was something. She was willing to fight him, even though he suspected and he wasn’t trained enough in anything but his powers, she would kill him.
“I’m sorry, Breena. This just can’t work. Do you even realize how many times we’ve apologized to each other in two day’s time? I can’t have a Guardian on the wrong side. I wasn’t always this powerful.” A tightness formed his chest, and he realized he wasn’t ready to talk to her about the power merge. Not just yet. He blew out a breath. “I wanted it too, there’s something about you that I can’t seem to resist though, and I can’t believe you’re willing to change who you are for me.”
She did take a step back then. “Does this mean you’re done with me?”
“No, this means I’m a fool because I can’t stand the thought of hurting you. I want you next to me right now, but I know in my heart that you’re not the right Guardian for me. That if the brother in the trench coat didn’t stop you from coming to me, maybe he couldn’t. These situations, they’re black and white, and you’re far too many shades of gray to be the Guardian to someone who just barely accepted that power doesn’t need to mean utter control.” He offered her a small smile, trying to break the tension, but it was no use. What was done was done.
“I don’t know why you think I’m all evil, but I’m not thrilled by it. That was amazing, Dale, but I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted. Open a doorway, I assume you can. You are amazing, don’t let what you were get in the way of you seeing that. I hardly know you, and I can see in your persistence you’re not a baby. But I can also see how this isn’t going to work if yo
u won’t even accept that the things I do in the name of war don’t make me who I am.”
She didn’t elaborate on why. He had a feeling he had hurt her though, and while he needed her gone, he had to find a better way to convince her. Dale closed his eyes and focused on the bedroom described in the books, a large room with white tiles floors and gold painted walls.
And it worked.
The room began to fuzz and the doorway that he’d been able to create to and from Nessa’s world since merging powers, created itself toward Breena’s.
She walked toward it, never looking back at him. It stung, but he knew it was the right thing. He’d accepted a bargain from a man who was both a God and a Devil. It had been foolish, and while he’d yet to see her do anything evil or even slightly illegal, he’d spent less than ten hours with her. He’d read about her killing fifteen men simply because her father ordered it. She was dangerous She was not for him, no matter how badly he found her raw power sensual.
“Breena, I’m sorry. If things were different, if I was still weak and not an important player—”
“Well, I don’t know you at all, Dale. You don’t owe me anything. I’m just a book character remember? I wanted a real explanation. A full answer, and I’ll willingly leave you alone. I assume the bond can be broken by you, since Leather Jacket told me as much.”
She stepped through the doorway and turned back to look at him. Her eyes were sad, but there was anger in them as well. She wasn’t good for him, she thrived on vengeance and war, and her expression said it all. Tomorrow, after he’d slept and calmed his hormones down, he would start reading another book and break the connection without ever talking to her again.
Breena watched Dale until the doorway closed. Her heart was a mess of emotions, and none of it made sense. From Dale’s comments, she got the distinct feeling their pairing would come with heavy emotions and the sex—good heavens the sex.