She wondered where they were and if they were safe. She had faith in Melissa and knew she could survive almost anything, but what if she had confessed and Reed had gone crazy with anger? Dara would probably be a match for Giles if they found themselves in that situation. She was almost as fiery as he was. But she couldn’t imagine that sweet Dallas doing anything to harm anyone, much less Gillian, whom he totally and completely adored quite obviously.
She wished they could contact each other—somehow. And she wondered if the locators or transmitters had given Zinsser and his men enough information before Gavin destroyed them.
“Why am I worried? They don’t know that I’m with Gavin, and they didn’t come get me when Gustavo had me, so why would they bother now? They’re probably still trying to find the Fuerzas, too concerned with that over the cute little girls playing soldier.” Tessa was disgusted once again. “Bastards!”
It was well into the morning when Tessa heard Gavin’s footsteps on the porch. He stopped just short of the door, and she watched it with anticipation. She knew he was angry because he was hurt. She got it. She would be, too, but there had to be something she could do to convince him of her honest feelings and make it up to him too. If only she could get him into the bedroom. If they could get back to that place, then he’d know. Then he’d listen. . .wouldn’t he?
The door opened, and Tessa stood quickly.
“I’m so glad you’re back. I was beginning to get worried,” she managed. “I have fresh coffee. Can I pour you a cup?”
Gavin seemed to have softened a bit, but he looked tired. She wondered if he’d slept at all. Her eyes searched his trying to connect, trying to read him.
“Coffee’d be good,” he said finally.
Happy to have something to do and feeling hopeful with a baby step of progress, Tessa poured them both a cup of coffee. The door still opened, she nodded towards the outdoors, asking if he’d like to join her on the porch.
“Sure,” Gavin answered. They sat on the floor of the porch, legs hanging off onto the ground and silently sipped as they looked into the forest. Tessa was too afraid to break the spell with words. She thought, perhaps if I don’t say anything, we’ll go back to the way we were. If I stay quiet, maybe he will forgive me.
On the other side, Gavin was still wrestling with his heart. He could feel that the cold cage surrounding his heart was weakening, melting, and he was fighting to keep it together, but he was finding it harder and harder to rationalize.
“We’ll leave in the morning,” Gavin said after clearing his throat. “It’s too risky to stay put too long. Besides, I’m hoping to rendezvous with my brothers, if. . .” He didn’t finish the thought aloud. He was too afraid to give it voice, and he wasn’t entirely sure how Tessa would react, either. The peace of the moment was too soothing to resurrect a war.
“That makes sense,” Tessa agreed. “I’m glad to know there is a plan. I’m anxious to see Melissa and know that she and the others are okay. I’ve been worried about them all.” She hoped that Gavin heard the emphasis on the last word and got her meaning. She knew that if, IF anything happened to any of his brothers, he would never forgive her, but perhaps even scarier was the fact that she’d never forgive herself.
The silence was revived around them, and neither one of them wanted to risk compromising the compromise they’d seemed to reach. They passed the day looking through old magazines, exchanging with each other when they’d finished. Tessa found some paper and began doodling. She’d always enjoyed sketching, and she’d even toyed with the idea of pursuing art, but the logical, methodical side of her brain enjoyed problem-solving and the thrill of finding a solution, so she eventually found herself giving less and less time to her art and more and more time to Jameson and her training. The next thing she knew, she was in Officer’s Training School, receiving the highest honors.
Funny, she thought. If I’d tried to pursue art and make a life as an artist, I would have still given my logical brain many problems to solve, like-- what am I going to eat? How will I pay the bills? Can I go without water or electricity this month? She snorted softly and realized that, within mere minutes, she had captured her memory of the place Gavin had taken her on their first night together. The lush, secret garden they found themselves in, transported somehow from the reality of her bedroom.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she pushed her chair away from the table, went into the bedroom, and shut the door.
Gavin couldn’t hear her, but he could feel her crying. He got up from his spot on the sofa and softly strolled over to the table in the kitchen, turning her sketch to see fully. The place. She’d drawn it perfectly, captured the magical lighting and atmosphere of that place, that Garden of Eden, where he’d never been before, yet felt like he’d been there forever. . .with her. What was it? Where was it? And why had that happened?
He didn’t consider himself a ‘ladies’ man’, not like Giles, but Gavin had still had his fair share of paramours. Still, he’d never experienced that garden with them. In fact, he’d never experienced that garden ever before at all. And there was a lot more he hadn’t experienced with anyone. . .except for Tessa.
She didn’t come out for any dinner, and it was already beginning to darken when Gavin decided to check on Tessa. Softly, he opened the door to the bedroom. She was resting, covered with a sheet, wearing nothing underneath. She stirred not so much from the noise, but from feeling Gavin’s presence in the room.
“What time is it?” she mumbled. She couldn’t tell, but Gavin, on the other side of the bed, was dropping his jeans as quickly as he could.
“It’s just getting dark. Are you hungry? You haven’t had dinner.” He slid underneath the sheet, boxers only.
Suddenly, Tessa was wide awake. Was this really happening? Did this mean she was forgiven? Was it all back to the way it was? Would tomorrow be bright and beautiful with hope? She knew better than to ask any questions or say anything. She didn’t want to jinx it. She turned toward him expectantly.
Gavin was upon her in seconds, hungrily searching her mouth with his. She couldn’t get enough. His scent—his taste—his touch. She felt the desert inside of her sigh with the first sip of quenching rain. It wasn’t just a desire for him she had. It was a need, a necessity of life. She knew in that moment that without Gavin, she would wither and die.
Gavin knew he’d drawn the line in the sand-- his heart was now in control. He’d consciously chosen Tessa. Chosen? Was it a choice? He felt more like it was merely succumbing to fate and resigning himself to it, all the while knowing he was better for it and better with her.
She slid her hands along the strong sides of his body feeling every inch, memorizing it as if she were going to draw it later. She felt him, hard against her thigh, and the sensation almost drove her crazy. Her breath was becoming more shallow. Gavin pulled his lips away from hers and backed away just enough to see her entire face. She was so incredibly beautiful. Her lips had reddened from the pressure, and her cheeks were rosy with excitement. The sheet that once covered her had slipped revealing her breasts, both nipples erect and primed for sensation. He couldn’t resist.
His lips closed around the breast closest to him while his hand sought the other, gently squeezing. He remembered how she had reacted the last time he’d caressed her breasts. He’d made a mental note that it was one of her most erogenous zones. Hearing Tessa’s breath catch encouraged him, and he allowed his teeth a gentle tug.
He knew he needed to wait, but his body was telling him it wouldn’t hold out. He could feel the heat coming from her and the smell of her was more enticing than any scent he’d ever experienced. He felt giddy just breathing her in, but he wanted more. He wanted closer to the scent, to taste the essence of this perfume.
Gavin slid Tessa’s body up towards the headboard while simultaneously sliding his own downward.
“Wait,” she whispered. Then she sat part of the way up, gently straddled his head, and grabbed t
he headboard.
Best view ever, Gavin thought, and then he placed his hands on her hips and guided them closer to his face. His lips couldn’t contain his tongue anymore. Softly, he licked the warmth and tasted what he’d been craving for days. Tessa moaned with pleasure and arched slightly. He allowed his tongue to dart back and forth, teasing her clitoris, feeling it swell just slightly while in his mouth.
Tessa was in heaven. She barely rocked her hips from side to side, careful to get Gavin’s mouth on every millimeter of herself. She had been dreaming of this when he walked in. Maybe her dreams had summoned him. She wanted to feel him inside her, filling up what had been missing these days, but she didn’t want him to stop either.
Gavin pulled her down so he could suck the tantalizing juice, not wanting to waste any bit of it. Tessa felt the pull and clamped down on the headboard tighter. Her thighs simultaneously tightened on each side of Gavin’s head, and that was all he needed to let himself go completely. Within seconds, Tessa’s breath was coming in quick pants, and Gavin could feel her opening up, her clitoris a hard pearl in his mouth. He imagined the look of ecstasy on her face, and the thought send an electric sensation through his body. Before he knew it, Tessa was coming, catching both of them by surprise. She slapped the headboard and scratched the wall, pulling from deep within to savor every pulsation and every wave. She curled her toes, willing her body to keep the feeling as long as it possibly could, and she felt the thrills ricocheting within herself sending her on another wave of pleasure.
Finally feeling spent, she rolled over and sat against the headboard. She saw Gavin’s hardened body lying below through half-lidded eyes. He shifted towards her so he could face her body and see the evidence of the gift he’d given.
“I wasn’t ready for that,” Tessa slurred hoarsely.
“Seemed like you were ready to me.” Gavin grinned up at her.
Tessa chuckled. “No, I mean, I was ready for that, but I wasn’t prepared for that. . . to happen like that. . . or to happen so quickly. I’m sorry.” She always felt guilty when a lover pleasured her without the expectation of return. She’d had boyfriends and lovers who were selfish, who kept score, and perhaps this had been imbedded in her more than she knew.
“Why are you sorry?” Gavin asked as he propped himself up on both elbows and faced her.
“Well, I got all of that. What did you get?”
“I got all of that, too, you know. It isn’t just good for you. It’s good for me, too.”
“Just good?” Tessa grinned.
Gavin pulled himself up on his knees and moved towards her. “Oh, it’s definitely better than good,” he said, raising his eyebrows. He approached her and kissed her passionately, allowing her to taste herself.
Tessa was surprised at his boldness. This was much better than being ignored, but was it Gavin merely satiating a carnal desire, or was it more? Dare she feel hopeful?
Gavin drew back and cupped her face with one strong hand. They both noticed the vines on his arm, lately brown and faded, were beginning to turn green. They looked up at locked eyes at the same time, sharing a gasp of wonder.
“That’s never happened before,” Gavin said.
“Which? The fading or this?”
“Neither one.”
Tessa took one slim finger and traced part of the tattoo on Gavin’s arm. It seemed the green vibrated with her touch. Tessa knew she needn’t ask why.
They walked for almost two days, but to both of them it felt like a mere two hours. The energy between them had settled and blended, creating almost an audible tone of harmonious notes. They traveled with no worries, feeling free for the first time in weeks, months. Gavin still felt the battle erupt between head and heart, but it wasn’t as violent and he was able to quell the dispute more easily.
“It’s okay,” Tessa had said as they made camp one night. “I understand. I’ve been there, too, you know. And when you have to be guarded always, not just for yourself but for three others for whom you feel responsible, it’s natural for you to default to that mode.” She had put her hand gently on his arm. “We’ll work through it.”
He’d kissed her then and unrolled their sleeping bags, zipped them together, and made love to her twice that night without saying a word. They had slept twisted and tangled together, breathing each others’ breath until the next morning.
But Tessa knew what was coming. She was going to have to make a decision about her next move. She knew that if she went back, there would be investigations and trials, paperwork and interviews, not to mention the possibility of losing her job and her credibility as an agent.
But what kind of life was this? They couldn’t stay on the run from real or imagined threats. What would they do, live out in the woods? Travel from one ‘safe house’ to another, never settling, never having a sense of normalcy, never getting the opportunity to have a ‘real’ life? She’d never wanted ‘the norm’ before, but here she was mourning the possibility of losing it.
The thought stopped her in her tracks. Gavin turned and looked at her quizzically.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Tessa was frowning, pensively. She couldn’t answer. She was still trying to unravel the threads within her head, needing to find where this one began.
Wait a minute! Obviously, I’m already committing myself to this guy, and he hasn’t even said anything about it. I’m walking around South America thinking about the kids we won’t have together if I go back to the States. IF? Why wouldn’t I think ‘when’? Am I delusional? Have I been out in the jungle too long? What is it called when you’re isolated from your version of reality for so long that you begin to think thoughts that have never, ever crossed your mind? Oh yeah, INSANITY.
“Babe,” Gavin prodded. He waited for Tessa to finally lift her head and meet his gaze. “Are you okay?”
She looked, mouth open as if she were going to ask a question, then closed it, set her resolve, and nodded. “Yeah. No problem. Let’s go.”
The End.
Elemental: Earth Page 13