by C. K. Martin
Hayley felt her face scrunch in confusion. Maybe she’d had too much of Pablo’s free wine herself. What did ‘like us’ even mean? As she was about to ask Kate if she had the strongest gaydar in existence, it dawned on her what she really meant.
She thought Hayley was a backpacker too.
Hayley let out a bark of laughter that was met with a look of surprise. At thirty-six, Hayley’s days of backpacking would be long over, if she’d ever had them in the first place. She was about to correct Kate when the young woman continued.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I love Thailand. Travelling all over Asia was one of the best things I’ve ever done. And it’s way more affordable. You could get a whole apartment in Chiang Mai for what I’ve coughed up to get a room in this place. But you can’t just stay in one place and say you’re travelling, right?’
‘That makes sense.’ Hayley decided she liked it when Kate talked. Her strange elongation of syllables that defined her as uniquely Australian was easy on the ear. Her words were clearly enunciated but that didn’t stop Hayley from watching those soft pink lips move in the semi-darkness.
‘Besides, it’s easy for us Aussies to stay over there. Getting to Thailand or Indonesia isn’t too difficult. We had family holidays in Bali when I was a nipper. But Europe? That’s the next destination for a lot of people I know.’
‘Europe is the first destination for people back in England.’ Hayley couldn’t help but point out the obvious.
‘Which makes total sense, right?’
‘It does.’ Hayley smiled at Kate’s passion and enthusiasm. She’d clearly caught the travel bug in a way that had never made sense to Hayley.
‘Hey, why do I get the feeling you’re laughing at me? I know a thing or two about this stuff.’ Kate’s indignation was feigned.
‘I’m sure you do.’
‘I’ve been on the road for nearly three years now. As soon as I finished Uni, I took a gap year. Haven’t been home since.’ She obviously wore her wanderlust as a symbol of honour. Perhaps in backpacking circles that counted for something.
‘Not once?’ Hayley wanted her to continue talking while she did the calculations in her head. That must mean that Kate was twenty-four. Twenty-five at the most. No surprise then she was still filled with youthful exuberance. It was sweet.
Cute.
Hayley pushed the phrase away and forced herself to stop staring and listen again.
‘No way. This is all I want to do.’ She looked up at the stars and Hayley assumed she wasn’t talking about Pablo’s. In its current state, the hostel was nobody’s dream.
‘I can certainly think of worse ways to live.’ They might not be on the same page, but that in itself wasn’t a lie. Why else would she be here permanently herself? The alternatives paled in comparison.
‘Anyway, that’s enough about me.’ Kate turned to her and by the dim light gave her a smile that added about a thousand watts of its own. Hayley’s heart did a double beat. It must be the wine. Speaking of which, Kate’s glass was empty.
‘Can I get you another?’ Hayley asked, pointing to the glass.
‘Sure, thanks. Just one though, yeah? I’m still struggling to get my body on the right time zone. London was the worst.’
‘I would imagine it’s quite the difference.’ Hayley said it without thinking. If Kate picked up on her inexperience when it came to travel, then she didn’t say anything.
‘It’s not the time difference that’s so bad. The hours flying hit me the hardest. I always get the cheapest flights, but you can bet your arse they’re the worst times. It always takes me a few days to shake it off, you know? Thanks.’ Her eyes were on Hayley as she topped up the glass with an experienced wrist.
Hayley tried not to squirm under the appraising stare. Leaning forward to pour, she was hotly aware of Kate’s eyes glance down to her chest before coming back up to her face again. Pablo was yet to return and she was beginning to wonder if he would. She hoped that the Swedish girls weren’t throwing up over any of the walls she’d helped to paint that day. There would be hell to pay if they did and she wasn’t sure it would be Pablo cursing them or her.
She knew she should leave. Kate’s glance had confirmed what she suspected about the young woman’s availability and potential willingness.
The two of them out here, soft lights, wine, and no one else, was dangerous territory. Hayley had avoided putting herself in this exact position for years. Tonight had somehow snuck up on her. A slippery slope she had believed she was fully in control of, but now she could see that she’d fallen down in her own denial. When Kate started talking, telling tales of her adventures, it had been too hard to walk away. It was a life Hayley had no interest in living herself, but that didn’t mean that Kate couldn’t tell a good story.
It wasn’t just her stories, Hayley admitted to herself. It was that Kate seemed completely at ease with herself in a way that Hayley envied. Her lean, tanned legs were only partially hidden under the shortest of shorts and when they had accidentally brushed against Hayley’s own during dinner, it had felt like her body had burst back to life in a tingle of sensation.
Kate was smiling at her from behind the wine glass and Hayley realised she’d been staring. Shit, that was not how this was meant to go. Kate was pretty. And charming. And so, so interesting. But she was completely off limits. Hayley could come up with enough reasons why to tick off the fingers on both hands. She was one of Pablo’s guests and that was the lie she would tell her if Kate decided to kiss her.
That was an egotistical assumption, she reminded herself. It had been so long since she’d been flirted with that she was probably misreading all the signs anyway. With almost a decade between their ages, she could hardly claim to be fully up to speed with the lingo of twenty-somethings.
The reminder of the age gap was a whispered voice in her mind that she wasn’t a predator. Nor would she allow Kate to make her cross boundaries she had set in stone for herself.
‘Do you know anything about the stars?’ Kate asked suddenly, looking up again at the sky.
‘What?’ Hayley was confused. Why would Kate be asking her about the stars?
‘Those things. Up there.’ Kate nudged her playfully. She didn’t move her body back away before she continued talking. Hayley could feel the heat of her. Too close. Closer than she should be. She should move.
She didn’t. Instead, she followed the line of Kate’s arm as she raised it and pointed. ‘Your stars are different to ours.’
‘I’m fairly sure stars are stars. We don’t get special EU approved ones over here.’
‘Stop being cute,’ Kate flashed her a smile. ‘Your constellations. They’re different from the ones I grew up with. You have the North Star, we have the Southern Cross. I’ve always been fascinated by the skies.’
‘I know nothing I’m afraid.’ It was true. Her nights weren’t filled with stargazing. Such a thing seemed so child-like and foolish, she’d never even considered it until now. They were always just above her. With Kate’s body pressed alongside her own and the stillness that surrounded them, she could suddenly see the appeal.
‘Let me show you.’ Kate pointed at a star that hung brighter than the rest. ‘Can you see that one?’
‘Yes. The big one? Is that the North Star?’
‘No. Most people make that mistake because it’s the brightest. It’s actually Polaris. The dog star.’
‘The dog star sounds way less prestigious than the North Star.’
‘It’s because it’s the key star in the constellation of Canis Major. It means Greater Dog,’ she added by way of explanation.
‘I see.’ Hayley wasn’t really listening. She could feel Kate’s breath tickle her ear as she talked. They were closer than they needed to be for this conversation. Common sense told her to pull away, but her body refused to move.
She felt Kate’s arm slide around her back and brace itself on the bench so she could point to the sky in a way that was more closely aligned to Hayle
y’s line of sight. ‘The constellation goes from here,’ she pointed, ‘to here,’ her arm retraced it’s movements an inch or two, ‘to here and then over to here. Can you see it?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Hayley confessed. She’d been concentrating more on stopping her body from shaking.
‘Let me try again.’ Kate’s arm slid down along her own and cupped her hand. ‘Extend your finger,’ she quietly instructed. Hayley did as she was told, her traitorous mind wondering if Kate gave such explicit and detailed instructions under the sheets.
She allowed Kate to lift her arm to the sky. Her eyes found the bright star again and the two of them aligned her hand so she was pointing directly at it. ‘Perfect,’ Kate whispered and Hayley could feel her lips almost brushing her cheek when she spoke. Inside, a part of her that had been frozen was turning into a molten core with each word Kate uttered.
‘Now,’ instructed Kate, ‘move to the next bright star on the right.’ She pushed Hayley’s hand over, and intertwined their fingers as she did so. Hayley’s breath involuntarily hitched and she knew Kate must have felt it. ‘This is where you start. From here, back up to Polaris. Then you slide your arm down,’ she slid her own arm down along Hayley’s forearm as she did so, ‘to here, here and here. It’s not quite straight, but you can see where they are if you go straight down.’
‘Uh huh.’ It wasn’t actual words or sentences, but it was the best that Hayley could do. Her mouth was dry and she didn’t trust herself to speak.
‘Then you move back up just a tiny bit until you find the previous star. That’s the spot,’ she held Hayley’s hand in position for a moment. ‘Exactly there. And then you drop down and right to this one here,’ another movement that seemed to push their bodies closer together as Hayley’s arm moved further in front of her vision. ‘Then you slide out all the way over here.’
Kate moved her arm further to the right. She could feel Kate’s arm beneath her own, the soft naked skin of her bicep pressed against the side of her breast. The thin material of her tank seemed a flimsy barrier between them. The contact seemed to last for minutes as they sat there, pointing at a star Hayley knew she wouldn’t be able to find again if she tried.
Not that it mattered.
She turned her head to ask a question, say anything that would break the unbearable tension that was growing inside, but found her face less than an inch from Kate’s as she did so. Kate was looking at her, not the constellation. In the faint darkness, she saw a tongue dart out across dry lips and she wondered what they would taste like.
She felt Kate’s arm slide the rest of the way down her own and then down her side, grazing the curve of her breast with the back of her hand as she did so. It rested there on her waist as she waited for the world to implode as the stars above her once had.
This was her last chance to pull away. She might not be a genius, but she knew what would happen next if she didn’t.
Hayley hesitated a moment too long. Kate took the stillness as permission and dipped her head down, pressing her lips against Hayley’s own. They were soft and tasted of warm bread and herbs mixed with berries from the wine. They yielded under the slightest pressure and then Hayley lost herself in the kiss, all thoughts of why she should or shouldn’t be doing this disappearing somewhere on Kate’s tongue.
She reached out to pull Kate in closer. Kate’s stomach was simultaneously soft and hard under her palm, warm through the thin material of her t-shirt. Hayley tugged at the hem, needing to feel the skin against her own. It had been so long since she had touched someone this way it sent her into a mindless delirium of desire.
At first contact, Kate groaned into her mouth, a sound that reverberated down through her body and towards her thighs. The desire it sparked overrode the warning that her brain was trying to send. It wasn’t too late. She could still walk away now, before this got out of hand.
Then Kate’s hand wound around her neck, nails slightly scraping the nape, just below her hairline, sending a shudder of undisguised lust through her.
She was lost.
Hayley wanted to be closer to the body in front of her. Wanted to be pressed against it in a way the picnic table wouldn’t allow. Kate must have felt it too, for she muttered, ‘are you in one of the dorms?’
‘What?’ Hayley was yanked back into the real world for a moment. If she were to confess anything, now would be the time. Kate took the silence as confirmation.
‘I have my own room. Come on. I need to get out of here.’ She grabbed Hayley’s hand as though she was scared to stop. That if they hesitated for too long, then the magic would be broken.
Hayley allowed herself to be pulled along. The words of protest died in her throat.
As they moved down the darkened corridor, the rest of the hostel was in silence. Pablo was nowhere to be seen. Hayley was grateful. She knew that if she saw him, he would be a reminder that she shouldn’t be doing this. For his sake as much as hers. Kate was, after all, one of his guests. In the darkness, Kate fumbled in her pocket for the keys uninterrupted. She unlocked the door and pulled Hayley inside.
The only light in the room came from the large windows on the far wall. It was light enough for Kate to lock the door behind them; a presence of mind Hayley wasn’t sure she herself possessed.
Then Kate was pressing against her, pushing the lengths of their bodies against a wall that Hayley had painted herself only a few days before. If she’d known then that the first action these walls saw would be her own she would have scoffed in disbelief. Yet there she was, pressed up against the coolness of stone with the heat of Kate’s body providing a delicious counterpoint.
‘I don’t normally do this,’ Kate said. That was the kind of thing you said if you did it all the time, Hayley knew, but it didn’t matter. Kate’s hands were pulling her tank top off, eager to get to the skin underneath, breaking their kiss to remove it.
‘Neither do I,’ Hayley muttered. A truth for her. It was impossible to believe that someone like Kate wouldn’t have offers every night. She, on the other hand, was too detached to succumb to such craziness.
A twinge of insecurity rode through her, making her stomach tense in an altogether different way. Kate would be used to hot young women under her fingertips. Hayley knew she was in shape, but her body was that of someone who had lived. It had scars and marks of existence. It told her secrets if you knew where to look.
But if Kate was used to something better, something younger and lithe, then she gave no indication that Hayley wasn’t up to scratch. With the first layer of clothing removed, she returned to tormenting her with kisses, letting her hands roam up her stomach to cup the soft material of her bra. Hayley took a moment to curse the lack of femininity in her perfectly functional underwear. This hadn’t, after all, been on her mind when she had dressed for painting that morning.
As the clasp at the back came undone under Kate’s deft hands, she realised it wasn’t going to be on long enough to be an issue regardless.
The material hit the floor and Hayley held her breath as Kate’s kisses moved from her neck down to her collarbone. With exquisite slowness, her hands cupped her breasts, taking a nip of flesh with her lips at the same moments as she ran the pads of her thumbs over Hayley’s swollen nipples.
Hayley’s legs trembled as her entire body arched towards Kate. It had been too long. So long since she had felt this turned on it was almost painful. Her hands wrapped into Kate’s hair, pulling her in closer with an unrestrained need.
She guided her head down to her right nipple, feeling her body turn molten as Kate flicked it gently with her tongue. Then she took it hungrily into her mouth, sucking and pulling until Hayley began to moan in pleasure.
‘Too many clothes,’ she muttered, reaching down and tugging at Kate’s t-shirt. The pleasure she felt needed to be shared. As much as she craved being at Kate’s mercy for hours, she wanted to touch and feel for herself.
Kate took a step back, trailing her hand across Hayley’s stomach wi
th teasing slowness. She reached down to the hem of her top and pulled it slowly upwards, revealing inch by inch the tanned hardness of her stomach, glistening in the moonlight.
She pulled the offending material off completely and threw it down on the floor next to Hayley’s abandoned clothing. As she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, Hayley held her breath. Then the straps were sliding down her shoulders, revealing two perfect breasts that told Hayley the arousal she felt was as great as her own.
About to move forward and claim them, she paused when Kate reached for the button of her shorts. She tugged them open, sliding the zip down slowly. As she tucked her fingers into the waistband, Hayley thought she might pass out unless she could make her lungs breathe in again.
Kate slid them down her thighs dragging the material of her underwear with them. Once they reached her knees, she let go, the material of both pooling on the floor around her ankles. She stepped free of them, completely naked, and held out her hand to Hayley as she stepped towards the bed.
For someone who didn’t do this often, Kate knew how to give one hell of a strip tease.
Hayley needed no further invitation.
She was kissing Kate again before they reached the bed, Kate tugging frantically at her shorts to remove the final barrier between the two of them. Hayley couldn’t think to help her, hands exploring for the first time the softness of the body in front of her. Fingers were hungry for it all; they grazed the softness of Kate’s breasts before sliding down her back and down further, pulling the two of them together.
She slid her hands over the smooth expanse of Kate’s stomach as her clothing came free and they finally had nothing more than the hot night air between them. Without waiting for permission, she slid her hand lower, through short curls until her fingers found slick and swollen flesh waiting for her.
Kate groaned and threw her head back, exposing her neck to Hayley’s mouth and rocked forwards against her hand. It was an old, new feeling, like a memory that she was living for the first time. She slid her hand forward, one finger tentatively finding entrance and Kate gripped her harder, holding onto her for life itself.