Burn So Bright

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Burn So Bright Page 11

by Jennifer Bernard


  “It’s more of a farm than a ranch. Alfalfa and horses, and a few sheep.”

  “And you? Why you here? Why not home on ranch? Family is important.”

  In Josh’s opinion, sometimes it was more important to avoid your family. “I’m better off as a firefighter. It’s a tough job, risky and dangerous. Saving communities like Jupiter Point, Big Canyon, it’s very satisfying. I’m good at it, and I think I do more good for the world by keeping it from burning down.”

  “Big Canyon? When the firemen were trapped? That was you? The movie?”

  “That was me. So you’ve heard about the movie.” He grinned at Mrs. Chu. “It was touch and go for a while, we didn’t know if we’d get out of there alive.”

  He glanced at Suzanne, who was perched on the edge of her chair ready to pounce if the conversation took a wrong turn.

  “What did you think about?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “When you think you about to die.” Mrs. Chu’s accent got stronger the more comfortable she got. “When you face death, you see things different. What did you see?”

  “I saw…” Images flashed in triple-speed through his mind. The jokes he’d made to make everything feel normal. The flaming debris hitting his leg. The sound of a tree exploding a few yards away. The firefighters calling to each other over the inferno’s roar. Holding tight to the sound of each other’s voices. Each in his own little shelter, but not alone, not while they could hear each other. The emptiness of knowing that once he stepped out of that shelter, he would be alone. He would always be alone. Because that was the only way to be free. “I saw nothing. Thought nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Nothing. Except for wishing that I had a selfie stick. World’s first burnover selfie. I could have been rich and famous.”

  Mrs. Chu sniffed and turned to Suzanne. “He always make jokes?”

  “Always,” Suzanne said solemnly. “Something tells me that he was joking even then. Right, Josh?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She rolled her eyes, then apparently remembered that they were supposed to be starry-eyed over each other. She plastered a radiant smile on her face and blew him a kiss. “And that’s exactly what I love about you. Laughing in the face of danger.”

  The word “love” had a weird effect on him, like a guitar string twanging an off-key note. This was roaming into dangerous territory now.

  Thank God Almighty, his pager beeped just then. “Excuse me, ladies.” He checked the device, which had a message from Sean. Get your a** back to base. We’re heading to NoCal at 1500 hours.

  Adrenaline shot through him. They’d been following the massive wildfire eating through the forests of Northern California. The only reason they hadn’t been deployed there already was that they’d been fighting the Arizona fire when it first broke out. They’d all figured it was just a matter of time before they got the call.

  Now time was up.

  “I have to get back to the base,” he told Suzanne. “T-minus two hours for takeoff.”

  All the teasing playfulness drained from her face. “Where are you going?”

  “That fire up north. It’s been in the papers. Fifty homes already destroyed.” He turned to Mrs. Chu. “Ma’am, thanks for the tea. If you decide to sell your lovely home to my beautiful fiancée, believe me, you couldn’t make a better choice. She’ll take excellent care of it.”

  “She?” Mrs. Chu frowned suspiciously. “Why not you?”

  “Of course, me too. Sorry, I’m not used to having a fiancée. It’s all so strange and new…and great, of course. Really, incredibly great.”

  Suzanne, who had also risen to her feet, snickered just a bit. “Don’t strain yourself,” she whispered in his ear. “You might pull a muscle trying to convince yourself how great it is.”

  He took her hand and tickled the palm with his thumbnail, an annoying trick from fourth grade that he’d never forgotten. She elbowed him in the side. He put his arm around her, managing to pull her hair in the process. She gave a muffled squeak that she masked with a cough.

  But Mrs. Chu saw none of that. Josh made sure that all she saw was a smiling, madly in-love couple walking hand in hand out of Casa di Stella.

  12

  Suzanne held Josh’s hand until they reached her car, well out of sight of Mrs. Chu. Then she pulled it out of his grasp.

  “Have you ever moved past elementary school? I can’t believe you actually pulled my hair.”

  “It’s the pre-fire nerves. I have to work them off somehow. And since sex is off the table…”

  “You are impossible.” She unlocked the car, but didn’t get in. Josh let Snowball out to relieve herself. As soon as she was done and capering back to his side, he bent down to ruffle her fur. Oh geez, every time she watched him play with his dog, she melted like chocolate on a cookie sheet.

  He looked up at her with a frown. “I just realized that I never got Snowball to the shelter or the vet’s office. I don’t have time now. Sean will have my ass if I don’t get back right away. Could you…as my fiancée…”

  “Pretend fiancée.”

  “As my pretend fiancée, take care of the dog who keeps pretending she belongs to me?” His coaxing smile would make a nun give in. It was a good thing he wasn’t inviting her to bed because she would have no chance of saying no.

  She bit her lip and looked at Snowball. Now that she was clean, she was much more appealing. Fluffy, one ear perked up, the other down. Bright, eager eyes. Floppy tail. And Josh had done so much for her already. And she was supposedly “engaged” to him. How could she possibly justify denying him this one favor?

  Oh fine.

  “Sure, I’ll take care of her. But you have to promise to vacuum up every single dog hair from my couch. It’s red and she’s white. Not a good combination.”

  He rose to his feet and ushered Snowball into the backseat. “Are you always this uptight about cleanliness? We’re going to have a real problem once we move in together.”

  “We’re not moving in—oh, good grief. Would you just get in the car so I can take you to the base?”

  He spent the drive making a lengthy list of all the things she had to do for Snowball. Bedtime stories, home-cooked chicken dinners, at least three walks a day.

  “Do they have doggie Pilates? Because I noticed she’s a little flabby around the middle.”

  By the time she dropped him off, her face ached from laughing. With a last wave, he jogged toward Rollo and the others, who were loading packs and other gear into two crew buggies that would be their home away from home while they fought the fire up north.

  Then he veered back around and loped to the driver’s side. He poked his head through the window and claimed her mouth in a fiery kiss.

  A flood of sensation coursed through her. Her heart pulsed with excitement. Her palms tingled, so did the soles of her feet. She lost track of where she was. The only thing that mattered was the feel of his lips against hers, the strong sweep of his tongue through her mouth, the electrifying effect he had on her nervous system. By the time he drew away, she was literally trembling.

  She swept her tongue across her lower lip, still tasting him. His eyes darkened to a stormy gray as he tracked the motion. Then, in one of his quick shifts of mood, he winked at her.

  “Looking out for my reputation. No way would Josh Marshall head off to a wildfire without kissing his fiancée.”

  “So it’s official now?” She was still having a little trouble catching her breath.

  “Yup, you’re now my official fake fiancée. Mazel tov.”

  “Seriously. Do you ever stop joking?”

  “If I do, call a doctor.” He winked, reached through the window to rub the top of Snowball’s head, and then he was gone.

  It wasn’t until she was driving back to her condo, heart rate still wildly elevated, that she realized something. All of Josh’s joking around had calmed her nerves about the wildfire. Was there a purpose to his l
ighthearted approach? A method to his madness? Or was he just…Josh?

  “What do you think, Snowball? What are we going to do with that man?”

  Snowball gave a soft whimper. Glancing at the rearview mirror, Suzanne saw that the dog had settled onto the backseat with her nose resting sadly on her paws.

  Suzanne completely agreed with the dog. Josh had taken all the fun and laughter with him.

  About an hour later, when she was getting Snowball set up with a water dish, Lisa the Realtor called. “Congratulations, Suz! Mrs. Chu accepted your offer for Casa di Stella. You got it! Can you believe it? I seriously thought you had about a twenty-percent chance of getting it. But you really pulled it out.”

  “Thanks to Josh.”

  “Well, sure. But hey—what does that matter? You got the house! Celebrate! Take Josh out and feed him some champagne. He deserves it. Check your email, I’m sending you some docs.”

  After she hung up, Suzanne did a half-hearted little dance around her living room. Snowball followed along, watching her as if this was some mysterious but fun new game. “We should tell Josh.”

  Was it her imagination, or did Snowball’s ears perk up higher at the sound of Josh’s name?

  She dialed his number, but got his voicemail. She remembered that he rarely checked his phone when he was on a fire, preferring to stay focused. He’d told her that he often turned it off, tossed it into his pack, and forgot about it.

  “This is Josh Marshall. Leave me some love.”

  She rolled her eyes. Typical Josh. “This is Suzanne. I was hoping to catch you before you left the base. I got the house! We got it, I should say, because it was mostly thanks to you. So, thanks. Good luck at the fire. Snowball really misses you. I’ll just have to drink your glass of champagne myself, I guess. See you when you get back. Stay safe.”

  Stay safe.

  That was new, worrying about someone’s safety. Now she knew how Evie felt every time Sean left.

  She called her cousin. “Hey, Evie. Great news. I got the house. I’m buying Casa di Stella!”

  “You did? That’s fantastic.” But Evie sounded just as subdued as Suzanne felt. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

  “Sean will be fine,” she told her, trying to convince herself as much as Evie. “The crew is really well-trained, and they know what they’re doing. They’ll be back soon, just as arrogant and filled with testosterone as ever. Probably even more so.”

  After a short silence, Evie laughed. “Let me guess. You and Josh?”

  “No! I mean, yes, kind of. But not really. Ugh, it’s complicated.” She pictured Josh’s laughing gray eyes as he came in for that kiss, and emotion washed over her. Josh’s joking, the news about the house, the fact that Snowball was shedding all over her red couch…none of it mattered. She just wanted Josh to be safe. “They’ll be okay, right?”

  “There’s a margarita at the Orbit that says ‘of course they will.’”

  “Be right there. I just have to feed the dog.”

  “The what? Since when do you have a dog?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  13

  The Yellowstone Fire was four thousand acres of flame marching across territory that hadn’t burned in about a decade. It had plenty of fuel to keep it going. Along with high winds and dry conditions, that meant that nothing stood in the way of the entire Northwest going up in flames—aside from the legions of firefighters who had flown in from across the country to help out. Four hundred firefighters were on the scene. A major air effort was also underway, with C-130 air tankers deployed to drop slurry along the fire lines.

  Josh and the rest of the Jupiter Point Hotshots slept at the Incident Command Center at night—they pitched tents on the grounds of a nearby high school—and drove to the fire lines every morning. There, they attacked the dry vegetation with Pulaskis and chainsaws, taking it down to the ground. The wooded terrain was full of slopes and valleys, so by the end of the day, everyone’s legs ached from all the up-and-down climbing.

  At night, they’d drive back to the IC in zombie-like exhaustion. They’d stand in line at the catering truck for their evening meal. It was a running joke in wildland firefighting how much the caterers relied on pork and other pig products. The Jupiter Point crew was almost too tired for the usual jokes about it—except for Josh.

  According to Suzanne, that’s what he was. A joker. So he might as well play it to the hilt.

  One night in line for dinner, he ran into Patrick Callahan, also known as Psycho. He and Psycho went way back. They’d shut down every bar in Montana a few years ago. So Josh was shocked to find out that he was married now.

  “She’s a doctor,” Psycho told him proudly as they ate their pork chops and applesauce. “She opened her own clinic in the town where we grew up. It’s doing great. Honestly, it’s hard to leave in the summer. This might be my last season.”

  “Wait one mother-loving second here. You’re living in the town where you grew up? You’re right back where you started?”

  “Yup. Lara and I both. Last thing I ever thought would happen.” Psycho’s intensely blue eyes held a dreaminess that Josh had never seen before. “She was doing triage at a fire back in Nevada. We ran into each other and, wham.”

  “Just like that? Wham?”

  Psycho laughed. “Might have taken a little longer than that. She wasn’t my biggest fan at first. She thought I was one step removed from a hoodlum.”

  “I know the feeling,” Josh muttered.

  “Truth is, she might be right,” Psycho admitted. “Why do you think we do this job? We’re crazy. If we weren’t doing this, we’d be off causing mayhem somewhere.”

  “Speak for yourself. I’m an easygoing kind of guy. Give me a beach and a surfboard, and I’ll have no need for mayhem.” Josh scooped up the last bite of applesauce and crumpled up his paper plate.

  “Don’t sell yourself short, Marsh. I’ve known you for a few years now. I’ve seen you in action. You might joke around, but when shit gets real, you’re as solid as it gets.” They strolled toward the garbage bins, tossing their trash as they passed. “How about we put this thing away so we can go home?”

  Josh gave a thumbs-up, and they bumped shoulders. He ambled back to his tent, past the med tent, where local massage therapists were offering up free back rubs to the sore firefighters. He rolled his shoulders, considering standing in line for a rub. Nah, he’d go for a good night’s sleep instead.

  The other Jupiter Point guys were nowhere to be seen, so he crawled into his tent, stripped down to his underwear, and stretched his long limbs on top of his sleeping bag.

  So Patrick “Psycho” Callahan was married.

  Psycho was pretty much the last guy he’d ever imagine going all puppy dog for a girl. It just wasn’t his style. He was the ultimate daredevil alpha type, the guy who always seemed to be running, his demons at his heels. But looking into his friend’s eyes, he hadn’t seen any demons. He’d seen…happiness.

  It made him wonder; it really did.

  Was he looking at this all wrong? What would it be like to know that someone was waiting for him back home?

  What home? He didn’t have a home and he didn’t want one. If he had a home, he knew exactly what would happen. It would become a battleground, just like everything else did in his family. They would always know where to find him. There would be no escape. It would drive him so nuts that he might walk into a fire and never walk out again.

  Nope, he’d made the right choice. Single all the way. This way, he was free to go anywhere, do anything, and have fun with anyone he wanted.

  Except for one particular sassy blonde who had apparently moved into his brain and had no intention of leaving.

  No matter how much Suzanne kept showing up in his dreams, she was off-limits. He had a feeling the break with Logan was temporary. They’d get back together, they’d move into that crazy house and have two—exactly two—kids. She deserved the life she wanted. Someday she and Logan wo
uld look back on this time and laugh. Remember when you pretended to be engaged to that fireman so you could get the house? What was his name again?

  Yup, that was it. He’d be a goofy anecdote from Suzanne’s past. That was definitely all he could handle.

  The next morning, Josh rolled out of his tent when it was still dark. Sean and Rollo were yawning and stretching in the dim pre-dawn light. The other guys were all still sleeping, though in about ten minutes the whole makeshift tent city would be buzzing like a beehive. “Coffee?” Sean asked.

  Josh nodded and fell into step next to them as they all headed for the catering trucks. The generators were already up and running, lights from the long trailer-trucks penetrating through the smoky air. “What’s the word?” Josh asked Sean. “Any big changes overnight?”

  “The East flank’s almost knocked down. Wind shifted south a bit, but it’s died down so they’re back to dumping slurry today.”

  Josh nodded at that. Slurry was a fire retardant that was generally dyed either red or pink, for visibility, but no matter the color, it was disgusting stuff. The tankers dropped it on the unburned areas to prevent them from catching fire. Even though the mixture of water and potassium sulfate was nontoxic, no firefighter wanted to be in the vicinity of a slurry dump. Tight coordination between the pilots and the ground crews was vital.

  “Hey, I got a text from Evie.” They stood blowing on their cups of coffee, the steam rising into the air, tickling their nostrils. Rollo was still pumping the coffee urn to fill up his thermos, which held about five normal cups of coffee. “She said Suzanne got the house she’s been after.”

  “Good for her.”

  “I hope she knows what she’s getting into. It needed work fifteen years ago. I can only imagine what it’s like now.”

  “This is Suzanne we’re talking about. She’ll make it work.”

  Sean looked at him strangely. “Anyway, Evie said Suzanne’s been trying to reach you. She wants to thank you. The Realtor said it was your charm and good looks that sealed the deal.”

 

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