Anne opened the CD and began examining its contents. “Oh, awesome! This is one with all the words. Now I can sing along too.”
Both Lucy and Benny cringed at the thought, but at the same time, Lucy enjoyed how young and innocent she was. She envied her carefree attitude, especially given the responsibility and maturity she’d shown to her family over the years. This trip meant something different to all three of them. For Anne it was having an adventure. Benny would fulfill his need to be a caretaker and protector. And Lucy, along with saving her sister’s life, hoped to finally unload the baggage that was holding her back from creating a new life—a life of her own.
All three sat staring straight ahead listening to Lenny, while Anne attempted to sing by following the lyrics sheet. None of them said a word through the entire song, lost in the thoughts of what was ahead.
CHAPTER 21
First stop was to be Tucson, Arizona. By the time they got lunch—they ate in the car while Benny drove—it was after one. They wanted to arrive around seven thirty or eight, eat a late dinner, and get a cheap room they could all share. They were making good time, and both girls complimented Benny on his planning and timing of the trip—so far, that is. There was certainly a long way to go.
“What did you girls think? That I was just some joke-telling clown or something?” Benny gave a quick glance over his left shoulder and then switched into the fast lane. “I do have other skills you know.”
“Of course we know, Benny,” Anne reassured. “We knew you’d do a great job, right Lucy?” Anne turned sideways and looked back at Lucy.
“He’s here isn’t he?”
Anne displayed a disapproving look.
“I mean yes…that’s why I wanted you here, Benny.”
“Thanks!” he said in the rearview mirror. He sat up tall so she could see his face.
Small talk was exchanged from time to time, but for the most part, it was strangely quiet. Although the three had spent time together, they were beginning to realize that they didn’t know each other all that well.
Anne searched through the pile of CDs, asking about the ones she hadn’t heard of. Lucy gazed out the window, thoughts drifting, trying to make out the words and names of the rock formations people had spelled out on the side of the one-lane highway. She fought her natural urge to doze off in the car. This was something she’d actually forgotten about herself. There weren’t many occasions where she was the passenger instead of the driver.
Lucy imagined what it was going to be like seeing her sister for the first time in so long. Would they just go to each other and embrace, not needing to say anything? She created a few different scenes in her mind like a movie director, playing each one to see which she preferred. She kind of liked the one where Katie’s eyes fill with tears, and then she runs to Lucy and says, “I’m so sorry for everything. I was so wrong and now you are saving my life. Please forgive me.” Lucy does not say anything of course, she just opens her arms to Katie and holds her tight.
“Yo! Lucita.” Benny’s voice cut right into her daydream.
“What?” she answered, stretching her legs and suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the backseat.
“What do you want to listen to?”
“Yeah, you haven’t picked anything yet,” Anne added.
“You guys can pick, I don’t care right now.” Lucy got the laptop from the seat and opened it.
Anne looked back and saw Lucy holding the computer. “You probably won’t be able to hold a connection on these roads.”
Lucy looked up, confused. “Really, because I thought—”
“Oh yeah, she’ll be online alright.” Benny’s voice was teasing and childish. “Not only did lover boy give her that laptop, he also bought her a mobile broadband card.”
“Reeaally?” Anne perked up and looked intrigued.
“Hey, I don’t know anything about this stuff, but he said it was no big deal.”
Benny hung one wrist over the top of the steering wheel. Casually he added, “Right,” giving Anne a perfunctory nod and a smirk.
“Could we please not make a big deal about this?” Lucy pleaded.
“Okay, just tell us one thing,” Anne prodded as Benny listened intently. “Do you like him or what?”
Lucy was quiet, punching keys on the keyboard as if she had not heard what they said. After a moment she looked up and said, “I…think he’s a nice guy…and that’s all I’m going to say about it right now.” She clicked on the e-mail icon Benny had showed her to check if any messages had arrived. “Oh my God…” Her voice trailed off as she stared at what appeared on the screen.
“What is it, Lucy?” Anne leaned over and tried to take a look at the computer, but she couldn’t quite reach.
“I can’t believe it,” Lucy whispered.
“C’mon, Lucita, what is it? Did Kevin send you a love note?”
There was no answer from Lucy. She just stared at the screen, then ran her hands through her hair and down to rest on her shoulders.
“Dirty pictures?”
“It’s not from Kyle. My sister e-mailed me a picture of Carly.”
“I want to see,” said Anne. “Is she cute?”
Lucy spun the keyboard on her lap so Anne could see.
“Ah, she is cute,” Anne squealed. “Her hair looks kind of like yours.”
Lucy turned the screen back to face her and said, “She looks…exactly like my sister did at that age.” She turned to look out the window seeming to be only speaking to herself. “It’s so strange how an image, or thought, can just bring you instantly back to a memory. You find yourself feeling the same feelings you felt back then, like they never left. Feelings you thought you’d buried a long time ago.” Realizing she’d shared too much, Lucy turned back to Anne and read pity in her eyes. Benny fiddled with the buttons on the stereo and acted focused on the road as the girls talked. Anne laid her hands on the shoulder of her seat and then rested her chin on top. “You don’t talk about your family much, but it sounds like this is going to be hard for you.”
Lucy grabbed her purse and began aimlessly rummaging through it. “I’ll be fine. Getting my sister well is all I need to think about right now.”
“I know what it’s like to not have family around. It can be really hard…and really lonely.” Anne’s voice was sincere and caring, but she could tell from Lucy’s face that her attempt was not having the desired effect.
“Your family,” she said as she closed her purse and looked right into Anne’s eyes, “and your situation are nothing like mine.”
“I’m sure they aren’t, Lucy, but I don’t really know because you never share that stuff with us.” Anne looked over at Benny and caught a glimpse of be careful in his expression. “Maybe if you talked about it, you would be able to move on…or at least feel better.”
“You already know the gist of it. The details don’t matter much.”
Finally deciding to jump in, Benny insisted, “Everything about you matters to us, Lucy.”
“That’s so sweet, Benny.” Anne reached over and gave him a little tap on the arm.
“Yeah, for a funny guy, you sure are warm and fuzzy.” Lucy was happy for the segue and hoped the conversation would continue in a lighter direction. She wasn’t in the mood to give her life story. She decided to finish checking her e-mail and see if maybe there was something from Kyle. She felt a quick flutter in the pit of her stomach when she saw another message waiting and recognized that it was from Kyle. She smiled as she double-clicked to open the message.
“I saw that!” Benny accused. He had been glancing back to see if she was okay and noticed the change in her expression when she looked down at the screen. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to wait. I could tell when I met him that day. He’s the type that gets whooped easy.” Benny was laughing when he spoke, which seemed to make Anne nervous about his ability to joke and drive at the same time.
“Keep your eyes on the road, mister,” Anne scolded.
“Ye
ah, Benny…look who’s talking, mama’s boy! I heard you calling her when we stopped for gas.”
“What, she asked me to. Hey, I was just being polite.” His voice became frail and immature. “I didn’t want my mamacita to worry. Who knows what could happen to me alone with you two?”
Anne and Lucy laughed, while Lucy gave Benny a tiny thump on the back of his head. The quiet empty highway started to turn into a busy freeway with signs and buildings dotting the sides of the road—an indicator that the first leg of their journey was about to end. Benny had scoped out two prospective hotels, but he hadn’t made reservations. Neither was close to being full, so they planned to drive by each and see which one looked better.
Lucy diverted her attention back to the e-mail and read:
Lucy,
I hope you are off to a good start on your trip, and that you don’t mind me sending you a message so soon. Think of this as a test to make sure everything works fine. Now you have my e-mail too. This is a little strange for me, and I’m guessing it is for you too. It is a good way to get to know each other, though.
Lucy, I had such a great time with you at the beach (and at dinner) and just had to tell you that ever since I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
Take care.
Kyle
BTW: Don’t think you can’t give me a call just because we are exchanging e-mails. I won’t either.
Lucy read the e-mail in its entirety one more time and thought about replying, but Benny announced they were already on their way to the first hotel “drive-by.” He was really getting into this new “big brother” role. She didn’t want to be in the middle of typing and have to stop to get out. This would actually give her some time to think about what she wanted to say, and then she could write back later tonight. What else did she have to do anyway? She would be stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do but worry about how many other bodies had touched those same sheets.
Lucy thought it was funny that even in his e-mail, Kyle said her name twice. She still liked that.
CHAPTER 22
The drive-by on the first hotel validated Benny’s reason for having two choices. Both girls made faces and shook their heads when Benny turned into the parking lot. The outside was very poorly lit, and there was a big rig truck parked along the long side of the lot. Two men leaned up against a small car with the door open playing music. You could barely make out their figures, but you could see the glowing of their cigarettes as they went from down by their sides to up by their mouths.
The second choice wasn’t Park Avenue, but it looked safe. It had a big drive-through entryway were you could park by the door for loading and unloading. Benny pulled up and ran inside to make sure they still had vacancies. The price was actually cheaper than they had originally thought, so they decided to get two rooms. The girls would share one, and Benny would have the advantage of getting his own room, although he may not have seen it that way. It was almost seven, and Benny took the opportunity to point out how right on schedule he was.
The Motel 6 in Tucson was conveniently located right across the street from Perry’s Pizza. Once all three were checked in and had their things settled in their rooms, they headed across the street on foot for dinner. “This is so cool.” Anne commented on how this was only the third time she’d stayed in a hotel room.
Benny and Lucy laughed as they all headed down the sidewalk to the light where they would cross. “You crack me up, girl,” Benny said, tucking his hands in his jeans pockets. “You are so easily pleased.”
“What? I’m just enjoying being here…with you guys.”
“Yeah,” Lucy added. “I just love walking the streets at night in a strange town.”
“That’s what’s so great.” Anne was a step ahead, so she pressed the button on the crosswalk. “We have Benny to take care of us.”
Benny puffed out his chest and wore a huge smile. “That’s right, girls, I’ll protect you if anything happens.”
“Oh brother!” Lucy shook her head. “Look what you got started, Anne.”
“Well it’s true.” Anne slipped an arm through Benny’s arm as if he were escorting her across the street. “Don’t you think so, Lucy?”
Benny was loving the attention, and Lucy’s uneasiness was an added bonus. When they reached the curb, he put an arm around her and gave her a good shake. “It’s okay, Lucita, I know I’m your hero. You don’t have to admit it.”
Lucy rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help smiling just a little.
The pizza place was bathed in lacquered wood, with high-backed booths and octagonal tables. It was seat-yourself, and there were plenty of open tables. Of course Benny headed straight to a booth facing one of the two televisions in the place. Anne followed while Lucy headed to the bathroom. Both stalls were occupied, but she was the only one waiting.
When Lucy returned to the table, she found what appeared to be three iced teas already deposited in front of Anne and Benny. Anne was on the phone, so she asked Benny, “What’s with the teas? Don’t they have beer here?” Benny shrugged and pointed to Anne, who held up one finger and made an apologetic face.
“I’m so excited for you, Aunt Mary,” she said into the phone. “I wish I was there, though. Promise me you’ll be careful.” She tilted the bottom of the phone back towards her neck and whispered to the two of them, “Auntie’s got a date.” She gave a breathy giggle and spoke back in the phone. “I know. Okay. Love you…bye.”
“You ordered these?” Lucy asked Anne when she hung up.
“Uh…I hope you don’t mind.” She could tell Lucy didn’t get it by the confused look on her face. “I just thought…well, you really shouldn’t be drinking, right?”
“So you didn’t think I could make that decision for myself?” Lucy sat back against the booth and folded her arms. The truth was that she was probably angry because she really wanted a beer.
Anne leaned forward with her elbows rested on the table trying to muster up the right words. Benny was torn between the baseball game on the TV hanging from the ceiling and refereeing his own match right there at the table. Add to that the smell of melted cheese that was probably gnawing at his severely empty stomach.
“I’m sorry, Lucy. The server was here, and…I was just trying to help. Please don’t be mad at me,” Anne pleaded.
Lucy’s anger melted away with those last spoken words. That was the same thing Katie used to say to her when they were growing up. They both knew when their mother was angry that the consequences would most likely be disastrous. Katie worried that one day Lucy would lash out in the same way. There were times when Katie had done something wrong or was acting like a typical sassy child, and Lucy would begin to get frustrated with her. Katie always knew the exact right moment to utter those same words: “Lucy, please don’t be mad at me.” Lucy never wondered or even cared if it was a child’s tactic. She just took Katie in her arms and held her, telling her over and over again, “I could never be mad at you…I love you.” Lucy wished that had continued to be true. And she hoped that at least this visit—this situation—could help bring them back together.
“It’s no big deal,” Lucy said calmly. “You’re right. I’m just really hungry…and tired. I do need to be taking good care of myself now. So who’s the date with?”
“Oh…it’s Mr. Ahern.” Anne’s tone jumped right back to its normal pep. “It’s so adorable. She made him muffins when his parakeet died, and now he’s asked her to lunch. That counts as a date, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer. Benny shrugged but kept his eyes on the game. “I told her that definitely counts.” Lucy had stopped listening and didn’t even notice Anne’s phone ring again. “Yikes,” Anne said with a surprised look. “It’s Auntie again…better take this.” She shrugged an apology and walked toward the bathroom with the call.
The mention of dates made Lucy think of a time when her mother had a date. It was almost like Linda was her old self again, but it didn’t last long. The two days leading up to the date, she w
as home a lot—cleaning, painting her nails, and she even spent some quality time with Lucy and Katie. Lucy remembered how strange it was that her mother said, “This guy’s a real sweetheart. You’re gonna love him.” But the night of the date, Linda just stared out the window until she saw his car pull up, and then she ran out to meet him. All Lucy could see was a shadowy figure in the front seat of a blue jeep. The next day it was like it never happened. Lucy knew not to mention it, but she didn’t get to Katie in time to stop her from asking. “He was a jerk—most men are,” was the only thing her mother would say.
The three ordered their pizza and salad and talked about the drive over the next two days. Benny would try to get the girls dropped off in Fort Worth by dinner on Friday night. Then he would drive the hour to his cousin’s place in Dallas.
While they were still at dinner, Benny’s mom called to check in on him, Lucy sent a text to Katie updating their ETA, and Anne went up to get quarters for the arcade. They were trying to prolong going back to the hotel as they knew they would just be sitting around talking and watching television. In the corner of the restaurant was a small room with about six games including one pinball machine, a dance simulation game, and one of those claw machines that never seemed to pick up anything but your quarters. There were two children, who appeared to be brother and sister based on the arguing that was going on, pretending to play a car racing game. A teenager wearing shredded jeans and flip-flops was playing the pinball game, throwing out quiet swears every few seconds. He had one of those Beatles-type haircuts that was a bit longer in the front, and he kept flicking it back with his head.
In Search of Lucy: A Novel Page 11