The women laughed at the fact that they could actually have a conversation because Carly was so busy talking with the lady doing her nails.
“I have to admit,” Katie said, “I do feel a little guilty letting Carly loose on her. Listen to how many questions she’s asking.”
“We can give her a big tip at the end,” Anne offered.
“I’ll bet it’s a nice change from listening to all those women complain about their husbands or boyfriends,” Lucy said.
That’s when the color drained from Katie’s face. “Oh my gosh, Lucy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think…about your job. You probably don’t want to be here, do you?”
“Actually, it’s really nice to be on the other end for once.”
“Really, or are you just saying that?”
“No, really. And here at least I can understand everyone!” she said sarcastically.
CHAPTER 36
One dozen long-stemmed roses greeted the women as they walked through the door that afternoon, high on indulgence. Katie was the first one in and immediately noticed them on the dining room table. They were in a beautifully thick, beveled crystal vase that looked like it cost a fortune. Anne instantly ruled herself out as a possible recipient, but Katie and Lucy both had the typical thoughts that battled it out in a woman’s brain whenever they saw flowers. How nice for someone, but I hope that someone is me. Could it be me? I hope it is.
Katie went full throttle and headed straight to the table, while Lucy hung back. She plucked the card out of its holder, hoping her name would be on the mini envelope. “Well,” she said with a sly smile, “looks like Lucy has a boyfriend?” Her voice made it sound like a question.
“Oh my gosh!” Anne speed-walked over. “Are they from Kyle?”
“Kyle? I guess we have some more catching up to do, huh, sis?” Katie held up the card and waited for Lucy to come retrieve it.
Lucy tried to play it cool, but as she glided over, her smile busted out of her face. “He’s just a guy I met right before we came.” And then she remembered: “Actually…he used to go to our high school.”
“Yeah, and he’s not just a guy,” Anne blurted.
Lucy snagged the card and opened the envelope. She chose not to read aloud so they could hear: Lucy, I miss you and am thinking of you often. Lucy excused herself to her room, hearing Anne filling in Katie as she walked away. Anne must have assumed that the cat was out of the bag now anyway. Lucy trusted Anne would leave out the part where she’d passed out. Anne knew her well enough by now to figure that she would probably appreciate being spared from having to share all the details.
Lucy stood looking out her bedroom window and dialed Kyle’s number. She thought about what she would say while she listened to the phone ring. She called his cell phone as he’d instructed and after three rings wondered if he would come through like he guaranteed so confidently.
“Hi, beautiful.”
“So you were expecting someone else?” She wondered if he could detect the smile she masked with her joke.
“Hey, you know I think you’re beautiful.” He spoke softly as if they were together, next to a fire sipping wine.
“Thank you for the flowers—they’re beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them…and I’m glad you called.”
“Oh, so this was your insurance policy?”
“No way,” he protested. “I knew you’d call.”
“Pretty sure of yourself, huh?”
“Actually, yes.”
Lucy could picture how cute he must look saying that with his little confident smile.
“Why do you say that?” She was very curious to hear his response to that.
“I’ve got you all figured out, Lucy Lang.” He paused for effect, which actually worked and sent a chill through her. “You really like me.”
Lucy shot out a laugh. “Ha! That sounds so junior high.”
“Well it’s true.”
“How can you be so sure?” Lucy tried to sound diplomatic, as if she were interrogating a witness.
“You wouldn’t bother wasting your time with me if you didn’t really care.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’m thinking you would have just told me to take a hike that day in the parking lot.”
Playing along, Lucy said, “Maybe I just felt bad about what happened.”
“Naw, you wanted to see me again. And that night…on the beach. Something happened that night, Lucy. You know it did.”
“What about you?” Lucy’s excitement was starting to head towards worry. These kinds of games could be dangerous. The odds were already against them, being three states away and having almost nothing in common.
“What about me? I think I’ve already made it pretty clear how I feel.”
Lucy didn’t say anything this time.
“Haven’t I?” he asked.
“Yes…you have. And I’m sorry if I’ve made things difficult for you.”
“Hey, I know you’re going through a lot of stuff right now—”
She cut him off and said, “Exactly, and you shouldn’t have to deal with any of it.” Suddenly her mood darkened.
“I’m a big boy, Lucy. I can take care of myself. Besides, I don’t feel like I’m dealing with anything. Especially since you don’t share most of those things with me. I know it’s hard for you…but you can talk to me.”
“I know, and I appreciate that.”
“I don’t want your appreciation…I want much more than that.” Kyle paused like that last statement was a mistake. He’d said before that he didn’t want to push her away with too much pressure.
“Kyle…I honestly don’t know what I can give right now.”
“I can understand that. Just please tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Just tell me I was right…about what I said before. If you tell me that, then that’s all I need—for now.”
Lucy paused. Not for suspense, or to make him wait. It didn’t come easy, but she knew he was right, and she knew he needed to hear it. “You were right.”
The restaurant was loud and jammed to capacity. Every corner of the room seemed to have something going on. There was no mistake that it was a Mexican restaurant. That was made clear with the completely overboard Mexican-themed decorations that covered the walls and hung from the ceiling. Waitresses carried trays with Coronas, Dos Equis, and giant margaritas that instantly caught Lucy’s eye. She could tell one group in the back looked like they’d just come from the office and were having a work-related dinner. That made her think of the first time she met Kyle. On the way to their table, they went by three mariachis singing “Happy Birthday, Dear Panchito” to a middle-aged man wearing a huge sombrero and looking pretty damn buzzed. He gave them a thumbs-up and a wink as they walked by, causing Anne and Lucy to exchange laughter. Carly pointed out that they did that for George on his birthday. “My mommy has a picture on her phone.”
Once seated and everyone began devouring the chips and salsa, Rick made a few suggestions of their family favorites. Throughout the evening various conversations started and stopped. George told them all about his real estate business and how he’d been staying afloat with the poor economy. Of course, Texas was in better shape than California, but like George told them, every trail has puddles.
When the conversation turned to Rick and how much of a house-husband he’d become, Lucy began to zone out. The situation seemed so surreal. She would have never thought in a million years that she’d be sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Texas about ready to serve up one of her kidneys to her sister. She started watching each person around the table, examining their words, their gestures, wondering if they were feeling anything that she was feeling.
To Lucy, they all looked as if they were simply enjoying the moment. They were all either listening, responding, or smiling and laughing, until she got to Katie. She finally noticed that Katie hadn’t said a word since they sat down. She nodded, smiled, and hugged Rick’s arm when he said
how much he enjoyed the opportunity to take care of Katie. “We’ve become a great team,” he said, looking at her. When she excused herself to go to the ladies’ room, Lucy joined her.
“Are you feeling alright?” Lucy asked on the way to the bathroom.
“I’ll be fine.”
In the bathroom Katie wet a paper towel and wiped her face. “I just felt a little hot out there.” Her voice sounded weary.
“Are you sure?” Lucy thought about whether this was just something Katie had to deal with on a regular basis, or if it was a sign of her worsening condition.
Katie smiled at Lucy in the mirror. “I guess I’m a little tired too.”
“Katie, we did too much today. I didn’t want you to do all this for me and wear yourself out.” Lucy felt a hint of déjà vu coming on. Even though her sister was now a grown woman, she was still vulnerable. But that wasn’t Lucy’s job anymore—it was Rick’s. “Should I go get Rick?”
“No, I don’t want him to worry. Really, I’ll be okay. And today was for all of us. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve spent a day like that?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Listen, I’m going to the bathroom, and then we’re going back. I’m sure I just need to eat.”
Walking out of the bathroom, Katie stopped suddenly. “Oh my God!” Her face looked pained.
“What’s wrong?” Lucy asked urgently yet was still able to keep her voice down.
“Look.” She gestured toward the bar with her head.
George was standing there talking with a woman. She had slick black hair that just touched her shoulders and dark brown lipstick. She was talking and gesturing as if she was telling George the most interesting story in the world, but his face showed the complete opposite.
“Who is that?” Lucy asked.
“Jen Thurgood. She bought a small rental property from George about a year ago and always says she’s going to be in the market again soon.”
“Looks like she’s in the market for George.”
“Exactly. We all know she’s full of it. And she is completely annoying to have a conversation with.”
When George glanced over and noticed them watching, he shot them a help me look.
“Let me handle this,” Lucy said with surprising confidence. Her instant fondness for George coupled with her desire to help those she cared about propelled her into a spontaneous plan. Katie walked back to the table while keeping an eye on Lucy, who was heading straight for the bar. George had turned back around, so he didn’t notice Lucy approaching.
“Geo-orge,” she said in a singsong voice and then put a hand on his shoulder.
George turned around with a smile that told Lucy he was pleasantly surprised.
“The second I leave for the ladies’ room you take off for the bar.” This caught the bartender’s attention, causing him to scrub an imaginary spot on the counter so he could keep his current position at the bar.
“Sorry,” George said, playing along. “I was just on my way back from the men’s room when I ran into Jen here.”
“Oh…well now we can go back together.” Lucy hooked her arm in his and gave a little tug. “Let’s go, George…bye,” she said, smiling at Jen.
George shrugged as he let himself get pulled away. “The young ones are so bossy,” he said, trying not to laugh. Then to Lucy he said, “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
CHAPTER 37
Lucy tried to rub away the goose bumps that kept popping up on her arms. She was almost freezing and definitely frustrated with herself. How could she not know it would be cold in a hospital and dress accordingly? It had been such a beautiful morning, and she’d gotten used to putting on tanks and tees.
Getting up from her seat in the waiting room, Lucy walked out to the hall, hopelessly thinking it would be warmer out there. If she wasn’t so bored, it wouldn’t seem so bad. But if she was being honest with herself, boredom wasn’t the only thing causing her shivers. So many things were racing through her mind; it was like playing a video game. Each thought had to be considered and tossed aside or somehow neutralized with rationalizations. Sure, she was nervous about the surgery. Who wouldn’t be? Nevertheless, her main concern was not for herself, it was for Katie. Lucy thought about what happened Saturday night at the restaurant. She wondered what would happen to Katie in the future if she didn’t have the operation. We don’t have to worry about that now, she told herself. She walked back in and took a seat, hoping that Katie would walk in any minute. She was starting to get used to seeing her face again, and now suddenly she didn’t like being alone.
While everyone seemed like one big happy family the last couple of days, this morning they were all going their separate ways. Rick and George each had work to take care of, and Lucy and Katie both had appointments at the hospital. That just left Anne and Carly. Rick and Katie had planned to put Carly in the summer day camp program, but it didn’t start for one more week. Anne graciously, yet reluctantly, offered to stay behind and watch Carly. It wasn’t that she didn’t like children, she just didn’t have much experience with them. Being an only child and working in the family store didn’t afford her much time with kids. She’d never even babysat before.
“You’ll be fine,” Lucy told her in the morning before leaving. Offering her own expertise, she added, “Just play some games with her, let her watch one TV show, and give her a sandwich when she starts to get hungry.”
“Okay, but I’m calling you guys if I have questions.”
Lucy had received one text from Anne about an hour earlier letting her know everything was going well. Lucy responded that Katie was already through and had gone to speak to one of her nurses. Lucy was just about finished herself. This was her last stop for the day.
As she sat waiting, Lucy marveled at how professional and efficient the hospital staff had been. She’d never had so many strangers be so nice to her in her whole life. The nurse coordinator, Liz, continued to update her every step of the way, as well as every other nurse she encountered. And Katie was right. Anne would make a great nurse. Lucy could just picture Anne right there, sporting her giant smile and wanting to take care of everyone. She was happy that Anne would be pursuing her dream. But what about my dream? Lucy thought to herself. Do I even have one? I definitely couldn’t picture myself doing this. The time away from Amy’s was nice, but she realized now that she didn’t ever want to go back. She didn’t even know why she went through with technician school. It had actually been her mother’s idea. Linda wanted Lucy to go right after high school, thinking it was a smart idea to have a skill. Lucy finally gave in to the nagging some years later and entered into a program. She convinced herself it was somewhat artistic to make herself feel better.
A grumble in her tummy reminded Lucy she hadn’t eaten since seven thirty last night. It was now two o’clock. The ultrasound had required she fast, and that test was currently standing in the way of staving off starvation. Should she go up and ask how much longer? Somehow she felt like her actions there would reflect upon her sister, and so she decided against it.
Through the doorway she watched as a man pushed a woman holding a baby in a wheelchair. She pictured her six-year-old self skipping closely behind as she had done twenty-four years ago. There was a vague memory of the day her mother went into labor. Her stepfather Tom’s secretary picked Lucy up at the house and took her into the office while Tom drove Linda to the hospital. She wasn’t sure if she actually remembered that or if it was just hearing Tom tell that story over and over.
He had often told stories about Lucy growing up, which she loved because it made her feel like he was her true father. When Katie was born and Lucy was taken to the hospital, the memories she had of that experience were crystal clear. Tom told her, “You have a baby sister now, Lucy.” And Lucy instantly took that to heart, thinking somehow that Katie was hers. She would never forget touching Katie’s head for the first time. She told her mother, “Her head looks like a peach.” She rubbed it gently in a circle
. “It feels like one too,” she had said, smiling at Tom. From that moment on, Katie seemed to be her purpose. She started out as Mommy’s little helper, getting diapers and watching over Katie when Linda left the room. Then Lucy took it upon herself to take on more and more responsibility, doing everything she could to take care of her little baby girl.
How strange she suddenly felt thinking how things had gone full circle. At the same time, she felt completely let down. So this is what my life boils down to? I wrap myself up in everyone else’s problems? That seems pretty pathetic. But it’s all I’ve got. It’s all I’ve ever had. Her self-pity session was briefly interrupted by a nurse opening the door next to the receptionist window. Lucy held her breath.
“Michelle?” the woman called, reading the file in her hand.
“That’s it!” Lucy whispered to herself. She decided right then and there she was not going to sit around and wait her turn any longer—except for today of course. She would take charge of her life, find her own purpose. Helping her sister was the right thing to do, and she would do it. But there had to be more, and as soon as she got home, she would figure out what that was. The only thing she knew for sure was that these last few weeks had made her see that she was her own worst enemy. Lucy needed to escape herself and the image that she laid upon herself.
“Looks like we’re almost there, Katie,” Liz told her as they stopped at the nurses’ station. “Can you believe it?” Liz rested an elbow on the counter and gave Katie an endearing smile.
“I know, but it won’t seem real to me until it is actually happening.”
“Well you know we’re all behind you, Katie,” Liz said. “And Rita and I will both be here for the surgery.”
Katie and Rita, the head nurse, had grown close over the years, even closer than she was with Dr. Brady. Over the last few months, Katie had really confided in Rita. They’d had several in-depth conversations about life, family, and Katie’s future. She even sought advice from Rita, sort of like a motherly figure. That was definitely something missing in Katie’s life.
In Search of Lucy: A Novel Page 19