by Kim Loraine
“So? What do you think I should do about it?”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Fuck, marry, kill.”
I choke. “What?”
“Fuck Lancelot. Marry Brooks. Kill whoever stole our magic.”
“Like it’s that easy.”
She shrugs. “It is. You can’t live your life based on your visions. You’ve seen for yourself, sometimes exactly what you’ve seen happens, but it doesn’t end with the result we’ve interpreted.”
I hum as I ponder her words, but don’t speak.
“The thing about Lance is you already know how hot it is. I mean…it must’ve been if you’re still fantasizing about him.”
My cheeks burn. “It was as passionate as all the stories say. I couldn’t stay away from him. I wanted him all the time.”
“Then get it. Take what you want. You can cut him loose after. If the two of you aren’t meant for a life together, it won’t be hard to break it off later.”
“It’s tempting. Are you sure you’re really part angel now? You’re playing Devil’s advocate very well.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “God only knows why the archangels gave me grace.”
“There’s one more thing I need to tell you.”
Her eyes go wide. “Oh, sweet Jesus, you’re not knocked up, are you?”
“No! I haven’t even had sex.”
“Yet,” she interjects.
“Yet.” I twirl my hair between my fingers. “It’s about Brooks.”
“What about him?”
“He’s a Nephilim.”
Her gaze drops to her belly and back to me. “But I thought there were only a few.”
“I think Gabriel has been holding out on us. It seems there’s an army of them. They’re trying to atone for their fathers’ sins.”
“Well, shit. Angels and witches and shifters…oh, my.”
“I think we all better prepare for things to get a lot worse before they get better.”
She nods and sighs. “Can’t we ever just have a normal Sunday?”
“Unlikely. The coven is going to help me locate the moonstone. I think with their power and Brooks’ grace, we might be able to tap into it.”
“I hope so. I’m tired of being mostly normal.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re filled with angelic grace. Izzy is a shifter now. I’m the only normal one here.”
“And yet you’ve got two gorgeous men wanting to fuck you. Who’s the real winner here?”
“How do you know Brooks is gorgeous?”
“Come on, he’s an angel. They’re always gorgeous assholes.”
I laugh. “True.”
“Oh, you could just go full on ménage. Two men at your disposal.”
“Shut it.”
I hang up before she can say anything else, but the thought of having both men at once won’t leave my head. That’s not part of the plan. The plan is to stay away from them. Get my magic back. End the fucking apocalypse.
But still, I scroll through Tumblr with a few naughty search words and the possibilities work their way into my mind.
A soft knock on my door has me nearly tossing my phone across the room. “Come in,” I call.
My door opens and Brooks stands in the doorway, a grin on his face. “You look like the cat who ate the cream.”
“Nothing. I wasn’t doing anything.”
“Okay, then. I just popped round to let you know I’ve been called away. Shouldn’t be gone longer than a day, but there’s some shifter business I need to help with.”
“Shifter? I thought you were a Nephilim.”
“Our army isn’t exclusive to the angel blooded. We’ve got shifters, witches, and even a few rogue demons helping our cause.”
“Oh.” The word comes out with a combination of surprise and intrigue. I’d thought in my many lifetimes I’d seen all of the supernatural world, but apparently, there’s a whole army I’ve never heard of. I can’t help but wonder where their loyalties truly lie. Armies have leaders and Gabriel never mentioned this to us. “Will it be dangerous?”
He smiles and steps closer. “Worried about me?”
“Concerned, yes. In case you forgot, we’ve got a group of demons after us.”
“True, but we also have a coven in the house. They’ve already begun putting up wards.”
That makes me feel better, but jealousy colors the comfort as well. I should be the one warding the house. But I can’t. I’m useless.
Brooks’ fingers brush my cheek, wiping away a tear I hadn’t realized I’d spilled. “Hey, there. Don’t cry. I won’t be gone long and Anya says they’ve nearly got the spell ready that should lead us to your magic.”
He leans in and presses his lips to my forehead. It’s soft and tender and exactly what I need right now. The words Helena spoke flash in my mind. Fuck. Marry. Kill.
Could I tie myself to this man? I’m not sure.
Lancelot
“Your aura is all out of sorts, Lancelot,” Anya says from where she’s draped herself over the couch.
I stiffen. “What?”
“It is. You need to balance your heart and clean this mess.” She stands and walks toward me, her eyes focused on something just a hair to the side of me. Raising her hand, she plucks at the air. “I can help you…if you want.”
I shake my head. I know exactly how to balance my heart. Everything stems from Gwen. She is the reason I’m broken. “No, thank you. I can take care of this myself.”
The witch offers me a sad smile and nods. “All right. But mark my words, Knight. If you don’t fix that soon, you’ll be sorry. Unbalance leads down a dangerous path when you wield power like Excalibur.”
“I understand.” On reflex, my hand goes to the hilt of my sword. I have to see Gwen, to bring her back to me. Every passing day has me feeling farther from her, physically as well as emotionally. She’s leaving me bit by bit for Brooks but only because I’m letting her.
I make my way up the stairs and to her room, my heart in my throat as I ready myself for a conversation I know will be filled with challenges. But we need to talk this through, set our hearts to rights, and move forward the only way we should—as one.
My blood runs cold at the sight of Brooks leaving her room. His smile is filled with self-satisfaction and I wonder exactly what they’d been doing behind closed doors. No. My Gwen wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t give herself to him. Would she?
“Ah, Lance, just the man I wanted to see.” The man leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m leaving on an assignment and Gwen is…unhappy about it. I know the two of you have your issues, but I also know your duty is to her. She can’t be alone while the coven and I are gone.”
What is wrong with this man? Of course, I’ll keep her safe. Gwen is more than my duty. She’s the love of my life. “No harm will come to her under my watch. I assure you.”
He claps me on the shoulder and walks away, his energy only annoying me further. What does he have to be so happy about? Did Gwen make him some sort of promise? Has she chosen him?
I stand at her door, my hand on the knob and my heart pounding. Flashes of what I might find behind this bit of wood have me near panic. If she’s flustered, her lips swollen from his kisses, or, God help me, in a state of undress, I may not survive. Taking a deep breath, I knock twice before letting myself inside.
She stands at the window, long hair tumbling down her back, regal, beautiful, sad. “Gwen?” I ask.
“Leave me alone, Lance.” There are tears in her voice. Her words thick with despair. Is this for him? Because he’s leaving?
I should go. I should leave her here with Brooks. She might not know it, but we aren’t connected any longer and I could cut ties with her, move on, find another way to stop the coming end of the world, if only to save my heart. But I can’t. Gwen has been a part of me since the first moment I laid eyes on her. She has always been mine. She always will be.
“Gwen, please. What is it?”
Turning, she levels her gaze on me and the pain in her eyes cuts through me like a freshly sharpened blade. “Why am I here? I have nothing to offer. I can’t protect us, I can’t do anything useful. I’m right back where I was before. Powerless. A maiden locked in a tower, watching everyone else go off to fight.”
Relief floods me at her statement. This isn’t about Brooks leaving…well, not in the way I assumed. I make my way across her room and pull her against me without giving her the chance to protest. “You are anything but powerless, my lady. You’ll see. We will return your magic and together, we’ll put an end to this threat so we can start our lives.” I don’t tell her I plan for my life to be spent loving her. For that, the only thing to do is show her.
She nestles against my chest, her soft breaths hitching slightly, but she doesn’t release me. I hold her close, desperate to take in her scent, to hold on to this feeling of her in my arms.
“Gwen, I—”
“Don’t say anything. Just hold me. I feel better when you’re here.”
I tighten my arms around her and say a silent prayer that this is the right path for both of us.
After a few minutes, she moves away, her hand on her forehead, face pale. “What’s wrong?” My tone is strained as she sits on the bed and groans. She looks ill.
“You’re going to leave me. I’ve only just found you. You’ll leave…but you’ll be alive.” Her voice is haunted and slightly far away, eyes clouded and unseeing.
“No. I’ll never leave.”
Then she blinks and her brow furrows. “Oh, that bloody hurt.”
“Was it a vision?”
She nods, wincing. “Best not to make me move for a while.” Then she closes her eyes and lies back, one arm draped across her forehead. “It’s safe to say the spell worked. That was a doozy.”
“They’ve not hurt you before. Not that I noticed.”
“They usually hurt me. I thought it was a blessing that I’d been having visions with no pain.”
I climb onto the bed with her and gingerly pull her into my arms. With strong fingers, I press against the base of her spine, massaging away the tension stored in her back, then move up until I reach her nape.
“All right?” I ask.
She moans and sighs. “Where did you learn that?”
I chuckle and whisper, “I have my secrets.”
“Don’t we all?”
Chapter Sixteen
Gwen
I wake up alone in my bed, the sun hidden behind thick, black storm clouds. Lancelot is everywhere even if he’s not with me now. I can smell the leather and spice scent of him on my clothes. My sight is still a little blurry, another aftereffect of a vision, and when I stand, I sway slightly. Taking a few deep breaths, I force myself to focus, to bring myself back from the edges of my gift.
“Lancelot won’t die. Not if he leaves.” I say the words out loud, a smile on my lips. In my vision, we were together. We’d definitely been in bed. There’s something visceral between two people who’ve given their bodies to each other. It’s not something easily hidden. But what’s so different about this is that he’s not lying in my arms, bleeding to death. He’s leaving, but he’s unharmed.
A soft knock on my door has me turning my focus from my revelation. Lance stands there, leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile turning up his lips, concern in his gaze. He’s even got a mug in one hand.
“I didn’t want to wake you. You’ve been sleeping for hours.”
I nod. “Side effect. They’re not always so bad, but I think this one hit me so hard because it’s been building.”
“Rachel left you some tea. She instructed me to make sure you drink it all down. She said it’s to help you tap into your Earth-based magic. Does that make any sense to you?”
I take the tea and inhale the scent of elderberry. “Yes. This is wonderful, thank you.”
He watches me as I drink down the offered tea, but he doesn’t press me for conversation. There’s a certain unease in his tense body.
“I’m fine, Lance.”
“You looked like you were in such pain. It wasn’t an easy thing to witness.”
Resting my palm on his forearm, I smile. “Pain is never easy. But, I promise, I’m fine. With any luck, before long we’ll be able to find the moonstone and end this.”
My last words hang heavy between us. The unasked question obvious to both of us. When we end this, what will become of us?
Lance shifts and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Would you like something to eat? I put together a meal.”
“You cooked?”
He shrugs. “I…put it together, as I said.”
I can’t hide my smile. “Shall we go see what bounty you’ve put up for us?”
I take his offered hand and try to ignore the rush of pleasure at his touch. We walk down the stairs, silent, comfortable, connected. Is this what it could be like? A normal life with him. Shared meals, tender moments, trust and…love. But he’s going to leave. In the end, he’ll break my heart.
A basket sits atop the kitchen table, laden with sliced pears, strawberries, cheese, and chunks of bread. There’s an open bottle of wine and two glasses as well.
“This looks vaguely familiar,” I say, my mind drifting back to the few occasions when my knight and I were able to sneak away for a picnic in a grassy meadow.
“Only now we don’t have to hide.” His gaze is intense, and I know all I have to do is cross the gap between us and I can have him. I can soak up every ounce of happiness possible until I lose him. “I had hoped to enjoy this out of doors, but the clouds have had other plans it seems.”
Glancing at the sky, I wish for sun and calm winds. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
He pours us each a glass of wine, the red liquid catching the light and glowing like a ruby. “Maybe,” he says, gesturing outside. The sun has begun to break through the clouds, bathing everything in a golden glow where the beams fall. “The weather looks to be clearing.”
That’s odd. It had been on the verge of storming only moments ago. I take a sip of my wine and watch him do the same. His eyes close as he enjoys the rich flavor.
“Come on, then. Let’s take our chances with the rain,” he says, handing me the wine before grabbing the basket.
I laugh and grab a tartan blanket off the back of the sofa on our way through the house. There’s something so playful about all this. It’s what we’ve been missing. Our entire relationship had been based on lies and deceit. It’s different this time.
Lance and I walk around to the back of the house, the sprawling countryside filled with rolling hills, trees, and wildflowers. It’s almost like we’re back at Camelot. Quiet, peaceful, still.
He takes the blanket from me and spreads it across the grass at the base of a tree. “After you, my lady.” His voice is confident and strong, everything he’s always been for me.
I settle on a corner, taking in the setting and letting the afternoon heat warm my skin.
“Your hair is always the most beautiful when the sun hits it just right,” Lance says, so low I almost don’t hear him.
I cut a glance at him and see he’s staring at me. “It’s brown. Ashy brown at best.”
He reaches out and captures a lock between his fingers. “No. It’s gold and chestnut all mixed with strands of pitch black.”
I laugh and tuck my hair behind my ear. “Only you would see that. Everyone else sees boring brown.”
“I see you, Gwen. Every dazzling part of you.”
Oh, swoon. How am I supposed to resist him when he starts being sweet and romantic? Clearing my throat, I tear my gaze away and reach for the basket. “Let’s eat. I’m famished.”
He sits back and waits while I place the food in the center of our blanket. The two of us eat in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s easy and feels as though we were never apart. “It’s odd, isn’t it?” he asks after finishing off the last of the berries.
“What?
”
“Having no fear of discovery. You and I have never been…us without Arthur. We are doing nothing wrong. There’s no urgency, no race to make every second count. In the past, we wouldn’t have lazed about together, taking our time with our meal.” His eyes darken and desire creeps into his tone. “We would’ve torn at each other’s clothing, devoured every kiss, every moment, like the selfish creatures we were.”
My belly tightens, a throbbing need taking hold in my core. “Do you wish—” I start, but he interrupts me.
“No. I wouldn’t wish away this second chance with you for anything in the world.”
My Lancelot, my knight, leans forward and presses his lips to mine. I’ve kissed him countless times, and each one felt like the last time. But this one feels different. It’s a beginning. Before I know it, his hands are in my hair and he’s pushing me down until his body rests against mine.
“Tell me you don’t want him,” he groans between kisses.
My blood runs cold. “What?”
“I shared you once, and it nearly drove me mad. Please tell me I don’t have to worry about Brooks stealing your heart.”
I shove him off me, anger rolling through me. “Fuck you, Lance.”
“I…perhaps I don’t understand your meaning. Isn’t that what we were about to do?”
I stand and let my rage run free. “Do you think I wanted to be shared? I didn’t have a choice when it came to marrying Arthur. I tried to be the best wife I could, I gave him my heart until you happened.”
“Oh, so this is all my fault? You wicked temptress. I hadn’t even considered falling in love with a married woman until the day I saw you. I couldn’t stop myself. You were meant to be mine and it was a cruel twist of fate that you’d been bound to another.”
I can’t listen to this any longer. The sky rattles with a roll of thunder directly over our heads. As though in tune with my emotions, everything changes. Wind whips my hair around my face and the clouds, which had been non-existent by the time we settled under our tree, hung fat and purple all across the expanse of sky.