by Janet Eaves
“Shsh, honey. That’s not likely. I’d say he’s making most of this up.” He lied. He knew perfectly well who it was and that he probably had been watching them for weeks.
“Michael, he threatened you. He said I had to get rid of you or…or he would.”
Goddamn bastard!
Michael drew Kate closer. Carpenter knew exactly what strings to pull. “He’s not going to hurt me, honey. Or you. It’s not going to happen. Ninety percent of the time when these perverts make calls like this, they do nothing more than what they’re doing—making phone calls. Don’t worry. I’m going to be fine.” He turned her tear-streaked face up to his. “Do you hear me? Nothing is going to happen to me.” Or to you. I’ll see to it personally.
She swiped at the tears rolling down her reddened cheeks and nose. “I finally found the courage to be with you. I can’t lose you. I wouldn’t survive.”
He rocked her. She clutched him tightly. “You’re not going to lose me. I’ve got friends in high places.” He tried to lighten her mood.
“That didn’t help Rob.”
He felt her panic. He hated the deception, but now wasn’t the time to right any wrongs. “No, it didn’t, but this is different.” He tried to sound convinced, though he knew deep down, this was a serious turn. “Nothing is going to happen to me, Kate. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t you worry.” He silenced a small sob by placing a kiss to her quivering lips.
“Shsh. Everything will be fine. I’ll see to it.”
He prayed with everything in him that he was telling her the truth.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next day after school, Kate stayed in and graded papers, trying not to worry about Danny, and attempting to keep a low profile. There had been no word about the boy, and no more freaky calls. For both, she was grateful. She prayed for his safe return and for some way for him to understand that if he would just come home, everything would be all right.
She and Michael were ready and waiting to give him a home.
Michael called earlier in the day, saying there was a late meeting in Knoxville, and he would stop by afterward if it was not too late. She smiled thinking about how very soon she would know all the ins and outs of his job.
The six o’clock news blared from the television on her kitchen counter as she worked. The local newsman’s voice droned on through the usual traffic accidents, armed robberies, and assaults. “Why don’t they ever report good news?” she muttered and marked the essay with a big red A, closed her grade book, and focused her attention on the last of the news. A frame with the words “Breaking News” flashed across the screen.
“WKXT News has learned there are new leads on the death of Trooper Robert Carpenter killed in the line of duty two years ago.” Her pen fell to the floor. Stunned, she sat and listened, leaning closer to the television. “Carpenter was found dead along the side of a secluded mountain road near the small community of Legend, Tennessee two year ago, shot in the head with his own 9 mm, and burned beyond recognition. His death has not been solved.”
Blood like ice water ran through her veins. Her heart pounded. Something eerie hammered from the inside of her gut.
Could it be possible that very soon, she would have closure?
“Sources tell WKXT News that Carpenter may have been involved in a drug running operation, trafficking from Chicago to Guatemala, and using the unsuspecting community of Legend and the rural mountain area as his cover. Recent arrests implicated Carpenter’s involvement. According to sources, there is growing evidence that he may have implemented an elaborate scheme to fake his own death, in an attempt at anonymity and to avoid charges against him. The Tennessee Highway Patrol, the FBI, and the local ATF field office are joining efforts to crack the case. ATF Special Agent Michael Lehmann, the agent in charge of the investigation was unavailable for comment. Channel 28 will keep you informed.”
No.
No!
Pain lanced her chest. Her hands shook and her body trembled uncontrollably. She didn’t believe….
Michael…?
Rob. Drugs? No, impossible.
Rob—faked his death? How in the world?
Faked his death. What did that mean? That he is…?
Alive?
White lights popped behind her eyes. A dagger of ache cut upward through her middle.
“No!”
And then it struck her. The calls. Thinking she saw him at the festival.
Her mouth clamped shut. She rose, nausea gurgling in her stomach, not knowing which direction to turn.
Michael.
ATF Special Agent. Michael Lehmann—in charge of the investigation.
ATF. Special Agent. Not Tennessee Trooper. Not a DARE officer. The bastard was undercover. In her classroom.
You lying bastard!
He’d said he loved her. He said he would never keep anything from her. She trusted him. Why was he…?
The telephone screamed from the wall, loud and long, one ring after another. Then stopped. Silence. She stood frozen. Grief? Shock?
Feet wouldn’t move.
The pain was unbearable. The embarrassment and humiliation undeniable.
She couldn’t sort it out.
The phone rang again. This time she snatched it off the hook and held it to her ear.
“Kate?” Michael. She shuddered in disbelief. “Kate, I’m coming. We’ve got to talk. Kate? Kate! Please listen, it’s not what you think.”
“You goddamned sonofabitch. Somebody blew your freakin’ cover.”
She slapped the lever to shut off the phone and threw the received against the wall.
For the longest time, she stood unmoving. Her cell phone rang from her purse. Off and on. Her feet bolted to the floor, unable to move.
Then blessedly, it stopped.
As she was starting to gather her faculties, and the beginnings of a plan were forming in her head, she jerked at the jiggle of the front door lock.
Panic set it. No.
A key in the lock.
How dare he! How did he get a key?
The door crashed open. Forcing herself to move, she raced through her kitchen and into the dining room.
When he walked through the arched opening leading from the entry, looking as frenzied and wild and as confused as she was, she screamed.
Dizzying gyrations of color spun before her eyes. Her knees buckled.
No.
She clutched a dining room chair for support and a tiny voice that must have been hers whimpered incoherently.
Oh, God. No. Impossible.
The man standing before her was not Michael.
It was Rob.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“R-Ro-b?”
Her voice cracked as though his name refused to slide off her tongue.
No, it couldn’t be. Rob is dead—DEAD!
She backed off, needing to flee. She turned and ran into the kitchen, bumping into tables and overturning chairs in her haste.
Get out of here, Kate. Need to think.
He reached her by the time her hand clawed at the back door. Sobbing, shaking, banging against the door window as his hands grasped her arms and spun her around. He dragged her close, but she resisted with the strength left in her. She beat his chest with one hand, her energy drained. The other was pinned behind her, his body pushing her against the wall.
“Katie, stop. Please stop.”
Katie.
She halted at the familiarity of the name he’d always called her, the way it rolled off his lips. How she had once loved that.
Stopped her assault and gradually loosened her fist, now sliding down his chest. In shock, all she could do was look at him. She couldn’t speak, nor could she move, her spine froze solid. Nothing of her body worked. Her brain refused to register what her eyes saw standing before her.
The man.
Her husband. Who was dead.
Standing before her now.
Alive.
Very much alive.
His voice had a calming effect and she melted, her thoughts reminiscent of an earlier time. She fell against his heaving chest as her eyes filled. The only physical thing she had enough energy to do, was to cry. Sobbing, she let him hold her for what seemed a small piece of eternity.
He lifted her chin. “Look at me. Let me explain. We need to talk.”
The room fell silent. She looked into his face.
It’s him. It’s truly him. Rob is alive.
In awe, she lifted one fingertip to his lips and traced the lines there. Many of them were new to her. The past two years had been hard on him, she could tell. His hair was longer and there was a slight hint of a beard. He had aged—much more than two years.
It was him. But there was something strangely different.
His eyes. They looked hard, cold. Calculating.
Unfeeling.
Oh, Rob. Where have you been? What’s happened to you?
“Why… Where?” Her voice was strained, too much to comprehend.
“Let’s talk.”
She collapsed against him and feared she would faint. He led her to the living room and placed her on the sofa. He paced. She watched in dumbfounded silence, waiting. Could do nothing else. All emotion ceased to exist. All feeling, all pain, anger, love. Gone. Everything was gone. She couldn’t respond. All she could do was sit and watch. Listen.
He faced her. “Before I get too far, I want you to know how I hated it. I didn’t have a choice. When I left here that last evening, I had every intention of returning. It was beyond my control.
“I love you, Katie. I’ve missed you so damn much. I’m probably going to get in a helluva lot of trouble if they find out I’m here tonight.”
“They?” Kate squeaked.
“My superiors. I was on a difficult assignment. Still am, in fact. Deep cover.”
Her brow knit. Deep cover? Rob and Michael? So damned difficult to make sense of any of this.
“It was necessary for me to arrange my death. It was a direct order. I wanted more than anything to tell you. I wanted to call you, give you some indication, anything, but they wouldn’t let me. Too risky, they said, and that if you knew you’d be in danger. There wasn’t time. Please believe me, I didn’t like deceiving you but I wanted you to be safe.”
“But there was a body.”
Rob hung his head. “I know. I’m not sure how they pulled that off.”
Suspicious, she eyed him. Alarm that he brushed her question off so quickly, coursed through her. “Rob, where have you been?”
“Everywhere. Out of the country mostly. Around here sometimes. I’ve seen you once or twice. I wanted to come home, baby.”
Don’t baby me.
“Did this investigation have anything to do with drugs?”
“Yes,” he acknowledged and Kate wondered why he was so forthcoming with answers, “it has everything to do with drugs. How did you know that?”
She cleared her throat, not sure why she should tell him, but hoped his responses would help her make some sense of some of this. “There was a news report tonight, Rob. It mentioned you. It said you were working with drug-runners. Chicago to Guatemala. They said you were the bad guy.”
He sat across an in overstuffed chair across the room. Elbows perched on his knees, he laid his head in his hands and threaded his fingers through his hair. “They want everyone to think that,” he began. “It’s an internal thing. The force is split straight down the middle. Everyone is suspicious of everyone else. No one really knows who the good guys are, or the bad guys. FBI, ATF, they all have their fingers in the pie. Some of them as crooked as they come. That’s where I come in. I’ve got to figure out who’s who.” He yanked his head up.
“You’ve got to understand, the media blows everything out of proportion. They don’t know what’s going on. There’s obviously been a leak somewhere. Please, listen to me.”
“Why?” A burst of anger added to her confusion. “Why should I listen to you? Do you know what you’ve put me through?”
Rob nodded. “I know, honey. I’m so sorry.”
Her stomach knotted. “Sorry? Is that it?”
He hung his head.
Anger overwhelmed her, boiling up inside. “It’s really great that you are so damn sorry, Rob.” She stood. “You’ve put me through two years of hell and all you can say is you’re sorry? I lost my husband. I nearly lost my mind. And you’re sorry? Well, shit, Rob, I’m not buying it. I can’t accept that.”
She turned her back on him. It was so wonderful to see him, to know that he wasn’t dead, but she was so angry. And hurt. Confused. How could he have done this? What about the news report? How did Michael fit into all this?
Suddenly it hit her. Since Rob died, or so she thought, she’d run through every emotion connected with his death but anger. She’d never been angry with him for leaving her. Now, she was angrier than hell.
How dare he do this to me?
Her thumb rubbed along the inside of her engagement ring. Michael. Her heart suddenly galloped out of control.
Damn you, Michael Lehmann.
“Katie, I understand your anger. In fact, I expected it, but I couldn’t go on any longer. I had to see you.” Behind her now, his breath tickled along the back of her neck. She slipped Michael’s ring off her finger and put it in her pocket. A pang of guilt settled around her heart.
Eyes closed, she waited as he snaked his arms around her…arms that once had so lovingly held her. Hands that used to stroke and caress just so. He wrapped himself about her. His warmth went a long way to erase the pain, the confusion, the hurt.
He was alive.
He was home.
She turned in his arms. Deep blue, his eyes looked the same, even if they possessed a rather steel hardness. His lips were still full and inviting.
Her heart swelled, her breath escaped her lips, long and slow.
Then he kissed her.
The kiss was smooth and bittersweet, whispery soft, not demanding or urgent. Kate closed her eyes as his tongue gently traced her lips. His taste was so familiar. She fell into the abyss of familiarity, of past memories, of the way it was before, when it was just the two of them. Before there was pain.
Before there was Michael.
She broke away. “Leave, Rob.”
He dropped his arms and shot her a piercing stare. “Why?”
“I can’t handle this.”
“It’s not because of…”
He stopped short, as if keeping himself in check. There was a second’s flash of…something, that crossed his face. It bothered her. A lot. Something was different.
“Katie, I won’t pressure you.”
“I need time, Rob.”
He nodded. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No. I can’t have you here tonight. You’ve got to go.” She was frantic for him to leave.
“I can’t, Katie. I’m not supposed to be here. I risked both our lives coming. My chances of being found will increase if I’m spotted leaving here. They’ve been watching your house. Let me stay. I promise I’ll leave early in the morning.”
“Don’t you think it will be easier to spot you in the daylight?”
“I’ll leave before sunup.”
“Fine. Stay. But I won’t be here.”
He took a hesitant step forward. “Katie,” he begged, coaxing. “Stay with me. Please?”
She looked him over, long and hard. Her palms were sweaty. Her heart hadn’t stopped hurdling since he’d walked through her door. And her brain was whirling out of control.
Too much boiling up inside her, too many emotions to sort out. If he was staying, she had to leave. She didn’t possess the strength to fight him anymore.
“No Rob. I’ve got too much to think about and I can’t do it here. I have to do it alone.”
****
The nex
t afternoon, Kate watched her students file on the buses. As soon as those buses leave, I’m gone. She was physically and mentally exhausted from trying to keep a smile on her face. She’d not slept the night before, had tossed and turned on Patti’s sofa. The day was long and empty. She had battled her confusion from the inside, and out. There was a mutiny going on, and she didn’t know what to do about any of it.
Turning, she gasped as Michael stepped into the room and swiftly closed the door behind him.
“Get out,” she spat. She wasn’t ready for a confrontation with him, yet.
He stepped in her direction. “Kate…”
“I said get out!” Trembling, she fought hard to gain control. Her back straightened as she pulled a stout wall of defense about her. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want you back in my classroom, or my life, ever.”
She retreated behind her desk.
“Let me explain. It’s not what you think. I’m no longer doing that investigation.”
“But you were.” She stifled the urge to scratch his eyes out. “And that’s all that matters. I’m not dumb, Michael, it was the only reason you wanted me.”
He winced as though her words cut through him. Well, good.
“My loving you had nothing to do with the investigation, Kate. I’ll admit, at first, that was why I was sent, but then, when things changed between us, I had doubts. I asked to be removed from the case and was refused. It wasn’t until this morning that it finally happened.”
He walked around the desk to take her elbow in his hand. She both wanted, and didn’t want, his touch. “Listen to me,” he pleaded softly. “There is so much you don’t know. And so much you need to know.”
She wanted to believe him. Wanted to pretend it didn’t hurt, but it did.
She yanked her elbow out of his grasp and stepped backward, closer to the wall. “Are you one of the good guys or the bad guys, Michael?”
“What?”
Kate shook her head. “Never mind.” Tears spilled forth as everything she kept inside ruptured. “I wanted to marry you,” she cried. “You were the only person I cared enough about to risk the hurt again. I didn’t think you would ever hurt me. You said you would never keep anything from me, but you did. And now, I can’t trust you.