He rolled his shoulders back, and even such a simple gesture was filled with cold arrogance. “All right. I see how this is going to play out.”
I stared at him, waiting for his next move.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, pressing his tongue against his inner cheek thoughtfully. “I’m not an evil man, Scotty.”
“I never thought you were, sir.” That was the truth. He was a complex man, sure, but evil? Nah. He was a guy who did bad things, just like I did, but there was good there, too. All you had to do was look at Sky to see it. He loved her.
“We live a dangerous life, Donahue. Tonight only proves my point.” He gestured toward the closed door. “I’ve fought hard to keep Skylar safe and out of this life, and you just want to bring her right into it.”
My chest tightened. “This war will end soon, and things will calm down. Until then, I’ll protect her better than any other man could. And I’ll—”
“We both know what you really are.”
I gripped my blanket with my good hand. Outside my window, I could see the lights of the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. Out there, people were laughing, not fighting for their lives. In here, the walls closed around me, trying to finish me off for good. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”
“Let’s not play games anymore, Agent Donahue.”
I tensed. I’d really wanted to believe that I’d imagined that little addition to my name, to just attribute it to a hallucination brought on by the blood loss, but there it was again. He’d called me Agent Donahue. I couldn’t even blame the morphine. My head was clear. Painfully so. “Is this the part where you kill me?”
“Here? Now?” He scoffed. “You know me better than that, Agent Donahue.”
He was right. I did, and apparently he knew me all too well, too. “How long have you known?”
“Since the second you applied to the DEA.” He rocked back on his heels. “Do you honestly believe I don’t keep tabs on my people and their families?”
“I thought I covered my tracks pretty well. Lucas had no idea,” I said.
“True. But just as the DEA has people in my group, I have people in theirs.” He cocked a red brow. “Did you think I didn’t? That federal agents wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to gain a little bit of extra cash here and there, just like the Boys? When I took over from my father, I made sure to make friends in high places.”
There was nothing to say to that.
I knew firsthand how easily a soul could be corrupted.
At my silence, Tate continued, “The second your application was approved, I knew about it. Hell, I found out you got in before you did, I’d wager.”
“And yet . . . you didn’t kill me?”
He lifted a shoulder. “You’re DEA. The Sons don’t traffic in drugs, so when you let Lucas put you forward as a recruit, I knew the intention was to solidify your cover and to position you to gather intel. Because every drug dealer needs a gun, and drug cartels need even bigger guns. You could put faces to names, keep track of any rising stars, get addresses of delivery locations, and so forth. Your presence protects the Sons, because if we go down, the DEA loses access to all that information.”
I choked on a laugh, but ended on a groan, because it hurt like hell.
“It didn’t take long before I realized you cared more about following your code of honor rather than strictly obeying the law. I liked that.” He rubbed his chin, considering me. “That’s why I didn’t look too closely when Lucas and Heidi died.”
I froze, my heart stopping painfully. “There was nothing to look closely at. They died. End of story.”
“Now, a guy who would risk so much for family, I thought, that’s a guy I need by my side, watching over mine.” He twisted his lips. “I thought surely you were the man to trust to do the job honorably.”
I swallowed hard, my mind still locked on his mention of Lucas, and stayed silent. He’d caught me off guard, and I wasn’t sure where he’d go next. It wasn’t a good feeling.
He glanced over his shoulder. The door was still firmly shut. “366 Walnut Street.”
My heart dropped to my stomach, and dread crept up my spine like a spider going in for the kill. “Excuse me?”
“366 Walnut Street.” He leaned down, nostrils flaring. “Athens, Georgia.”
I gripped his shirt at the collar, not letting go. I didn’t give a damn if he was my “boss.” Not when he was threatening my family. I only knew where Lucas had ended up because I used the DEA’s resources and I hadn’t told anyone, not even Chris. If I doubted Tate had a mole in the DEA, well, here was the proof I was wrong.
“Where did you get that information?” I growled.
“I have my ways, just like you do,” he said slowly, lowering his lids until he stared pointedly at my hands on his pristine white dress shirt. “Let go. Now.”
I yanked him closer. “You go near him, and you’ll have more to worry about than your goddamn shirt,” I snarled, refusing to show how much that small action hurt me. “I could arrest you, right here and now, and no one would stop me. Then I could tell Skylar the truth about her big brother, and how he really got the money to send her to college for her fancy degree, and see how she handles that information.”
“Just like I could have killed you at any point, and I didn’t. I suggest you keep a cool head, for the sake of your brother . . . and O’Brien.” He gave me a tight smile. “Yes, I know all about him and his attempted coup, which is an offense punishable by death, by the way. You know, I heard through the grapevine that Molly—his fiancée, is it?—is pregnant. They just found out today. Did you know? You would be like an uncle, after all. Uncle Scotty.”
That right there?
It was the nail in my damn coffin.
Too many people were counting on me.
Lucas. Heidi. Chris. Molly. Their baby.
I let go of him, my chest aching because I knew what came next, and it hurt already. “What do you want from me?”
“First, let’s talk about the DEA. You’ve got two choices.” He stepped back and smoothed his jacket, his mouth tight. “You maintain the status quo and keep protecting the Sons while taking out our competition, but now when I need intel, you get it for me, no questions asked. Or, if you’re feeling like dying, you come clean with the rest of the Sons and face the consequences.”
There was no way I was going dirty.
And we both knew it.
At my silence, he continued on. “Second, you’re going to break it off with Skylar. Make her believe you don’t want to be with her, and make sure it doesn’t fall back on me. If she thinks you were coerced into breaking it off with her, she’ll keep showing up on your doorstep.”
I gritted my teeth, continuing to say nothing.
He had me by the balls, and we both knew it.
“Break her heart, cut her loose, and I’ll keep your secrets. And your family’s, too. When this is all over, regardless of your decision concerning the gang and your role in it, they’ll be safe. If you break it off with Skylar today, no one will get hurt. No matter what. You have my word.”
“And if I don’t break up with her?” I asked slowly.
He shrugged, looking like he wasn’t planning his sister’s heartbreak, but I saw the hesitation in his eyes when he turned back to me. He couldn’t hide it. “Then I can’t guarantee anything. It’s not personal, Donahue. I just need to protect my sister.”
“And I’ve got to protect my family,” I gritted out.
“I’m counting on as much.”
I stared at him, heart beating against my ribs.
Yeah, I knew why he was doing this, and I even admired it, to some extent. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect Lucas, and he felt the same way about Skylar. But I owed Lucas too much. Chris, too. So I had to choose them, not her.
I had to
let her go.
“It’ll be done,” I said, my voice low.
A soft knock sounded, and the door opened. Skylar came in, her eyes immediately seeking out mine. My chest hollowed out when we locked gazes. “My turn?” she asked quietly.
Tate squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be in the waiting room.”
“Boss?” I called out.
He stiffened, clearly certain I was about to blow his cover. If not for the threat on my family, I totally would. “Yeah?”
“I’ll be there for the meeting next Friday.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “That’s not necessary.”
“Still. I insist.”
Chris would be there, and I’d be right there with him, guarding his back.
Tate nodded once. “All right. Until then, lay low. Recover.”
“Yes, sir.”
He left, closing the door behind him softly. The second we were alone, Skylar rushed to my side, a glass of ice water in her hand. She looked at me like I was her world, and here I was about to make that world explode. I turned away, unable to meet her eyes, because I was about to do the unthinkable.
I hoped Tate rotted in hell.
“Are you okay? Did he do anything to you?” she asked quickly.
“Nah.” I sat up straighter, heart pounding, stomach clenching, forcing myself to do what needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt me . . . or her. “I mean, he doesn’t like that we’re sleeping together, but he acknowledged that at least it put me in the right spot at the right time. So he wants me to keep playing bodyguard.”
She froze, her fingers on the cup tightening. “Wait. What?”
“Tate’s afraid you’re still in danger, so I’ll be hanging out next door for a while.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “My water, Sky?”
“Oh. Right.” She held it out, and I took it, making sure not to touch her fingers. If I felt her skin on mine one more time . . . “So he’s fine with us being together?”
“Yep,” I answered casually, lifting the water glass to my mouth. “We get to keep fucking for now.”
She reared back, her lips parted in surprise. “Scotty.”
“What?” I reached out and dragged a finger down her arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in my wake. “Just because I’m your babysitter doesn’t mean we can’t be together. It’d be a waste otherwise. Christ, we burn up the sheets, sugar.”
“Did . . . ?” She crossed her arms, rubbing the spot I’d touched. “Did Tate make you spend time with me?”
I called on every ounce of acting talent I had, keeping a cocky smirk in place. “He is my boss, sugar. I’m not going to jeopardize my job just for great sex. Of course Tate ordered me to keep you safe.”
“So . . .” She pressed her mouth into a tight line. “That’s why you said all those things to me. So you could stay close.”
Those weren’t questions, but I answered anyway. “Well, yeah. I mean, termites, Sky, really?”
She recoiled, and I could see her drawing into herself, could see the pain pierce through her. “I thought . . .”
“That I was in love with you?” I asked, laughing. It hurt. “I was up front about that: I don’t come back for seconds and I don’t do love. I’m a one-and-done type of guy.”
Her eyes were dry and empty, and her face, Christ, her face. “And those things you said, about not being able to shake me . . . ?”
I laughed again. The physical pain from my injuries was nothing compared to the emotional pain I was experiencing. “Were just that. Pretty lines to keep you manageable. If I was going to be stuck watching you, I was damn well going to make it easier on myself by keeping you in my bed.”
“I . . . see.” She hugged herself, stepping back, out of reach.
I hated Tate. Absolutely hated him. “Look, don’t be so offended, sugar. I was going to stick to just being your friend, but you’re such a hot piece, I couldn’t resist getting you into bed. That’s a compliment.”
She paled even more. “But—”
“No buts. I know you thought you ‘read’ me as some kind of beast you could turn back into a prince, but you were wrong.” I leaned closer, smiling at her even though she was pale and clearly distraught, and I pushed on, showing no mercy because I couldn’t afford to have any. “You delude yourself into thinking you can read the world, giving you the illusion of control. But, baby, except for Tate, every man in your life leaves you. Why would you think I’d be any different?”
She gasped, and I immediately wanted to take it back. She’d given me the perfect ammunition to use against her, and I hadn’t hesitated to take a kill shot. Forget Tate, I hated myself.
Shaking her head, she wrapped her arms around herself. “Stay away from me,” she said, her voice broken, but somehow strong, too. “Don’t come near me again.”
I shrugged, even though it hurt like hell. “Hey, I got my orders, but if you don’t want to fuck me, there’s plenty of other willing pussy out there. I’ll still keep you safe, even if you take away the main perk of the job.”
“Go to hell,” she snarled, curling her fists at her sides, pain burning in her eyes as she stepped back. “If I ever see you again . . . I’ll shoot you myself, and save my brother the trouble.”
Agony burst through my chest, but I saluted her, acting like her words didn’t strike deep at all. “All right. I’ll just watch over you from a distance, but let me know if you change your mind and want an orgasm or two, for old times’ sake.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and shook her head as she backed away from me, toward the door. “I . . . I trusted you.”
She could have said a million things to me. Could have cursed me out. Wished death and agony upon me. Sworn to shoot me one more time. But that, right there, hit home the hardest.
It would never leave me alone.
The guilt.
Shrugging, I locked eyes with her. “Well, you shouldn’t have. I warned you I would hurt you. You should have listened. It was the only honest thing I said to you that whole time.”
She made a choking sound and covered her mouth. Without another word, she turned, opened the door, and left me on the bed alone, not looking back. I sat there, pain blinding me, biting back the urge to shout her name until she forgave me for what I said.
“Good-bye, sugar,” I said softly.
CHAPTER 20
SKYLAR
Six days.
Six long, miserable, lonely days.
That’s how long it had been since I’d visited Scotty in the hospital. Since I walked away from his room, and didn’t look back. I’d put on a good show, and told Tate that if he insisted on watching over me for no damn reason, he’d have to find a new guy, because if I saw Scotty near me again, I’d kill him. And I’d meant it. At the time, I really wanted to kill him.
But now . . . now it just hurt.
Everything hurt.
Tate tried to pry for details about what had happened after he’d walked away, but I’d shut him down, saying it was none of his business. He didn’t need to know how wrong I’d been about Scotty. I knew it well enough for the both of us. Heck, for the entire world.
Originally, the anger had been a lifesaver. I’d been able to focus on it. Live in it. Breathe it in like air. But the second I locked my apartment door behind me, and took in the freshly clean floors and walls, the rage faded away. Thanks to my brother, there were no traces of blood, a fight, or Scotty.
It was all gone, like I’d imagined the whole thing.
When I lay in my empty bed and smelled his cologne on my sheets, the only thing I had left of a man who’d played me like a fool, an emptiness filled me. I hadn’t cried yet, despite the pain in my heart, because I refused to let myself succumb, but still. I missed him.
Every night, I hugged his pillow until I fell asleep.
And every night
I cursed myself for that weakness.
But the time for mourning was over. Instead of focusing on Scotty, and how much he’d hurt me, I was going to throw myself into my studies. I was going to take that energy and put it where it belonged—to my future. All my life, I’d wanted to be a doctor. I’d wanted to help people—kids, specifically. I’d wanted to be successful. Powerful. Independent. Never once in those dreams had there been a guy at my side. I’d always been alone.
It was time to go back to that.
To trusting no one. To needing no one.
I’d just returned from an intense study session with Marco, but I planned to spend at least a few more hours cramming. I needed to ace this test after the mediocre grade I’d gotten on my last exam thanks to being distracted with Scotty. I flipped open my Advanced Biology book and turned to page 213 at the same time as someone knocked on my door.
I tensed, staring at it.
Slowly, I crept to the door. I squinted and peeked through the peephole, letting out a sigh of relief when I saw who it was. At least my brother wasn’t going to try to kill me, but I was still mad at him for bringing Scotty into my life.
Unlocking the door, I cracked it open, saying nothing.
“Hi,” he said cheerfully.
I raised a brow at him impatiently.
“How are you?” he asked in that fake tone again.
I tapped my foot.
He shuffled his feet. “I . . . uh . . . brought dinner.” He held up a box of pizza from Galleria Umberto. “And beer. Your favorite.”
I glanced down at the six-pack of Peroni in his other hand, and shut the door in his face, like I did every other time he knocked.
As I walked away, he called out, “I have a key, you know.”
“I know,” I yelled over my shoulder. “But you won’t use it.”
He jiggled the knob again. “Please let me in.”
I said nothing.
He let go. “I’m sorry, Skylar.”
I froze midstep. It was the first time he’d said those words to me . . . ever.
He wasn’t the type to admit wrongdoing, not even when caught red-handed. One time I found him stealing my last Reese’s cup, and he refused to say he was in the wrong, even though he’d literally been shoving it in his mouth when I walked in. Even when he found out I planned our mother’s funeral alone, he hadn’t said he was sorry. He’d just hugged me, and promised to make it up to me.
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