Behaviour like that didn’t seem to bother guys like Lewis. Whereas Clive would never do that to a girl. If he was lucky enough to be with someone he liked then he would do everything in his power to make them happy, which was basically his problem. He was too nice. Clive wasn’t naïve; he knew that nice guys finished last and all that. He had even considered trying to be a bad guy once or twice but he wouldn’t do it because it wasn’t in his nature. Plus he thought he’d probably look ridiculous - it just wasn’t him. Anyway, why should he change and be something he wasn’t? Besides he didn’t like that kind of behaviour.
If Rachel had been taken from him, Clive would play the waiting game. Not out of fear this time, but because it was the only option. This would be temporary and when Lewis hurt Rachel or two-timed her, he would be there. The shoulder to cry on. And he’d have his story that he’d written. He could say he wrote it for her to make her feel better.
None of this had happened yet but it was good to know he had a back-up plan just in case.
As he approached the school gates he took a deep breath and thought about what he would say if Rachel was indeed still single. He immediately stopped himself from doing this. No rehearsed lines this time. He would just play it straight and tell her he liked her and had written a story for her. No complicated stuff - just tell it like it is. She would respect him for that and hopefully his words would do the rest.
Clive pushed open the school doors. The pungent smell of cheap disinfectant forced its way up his nostrils. He threaded his way through the mass of uniformed bodies all moving in different directions. The bell went just as he got outside his English class. He popped his head around the corner and saw a few people had already taken their seats, including Rachel. He pulled his head back in, just in time so she didn’t see him. He noticed Cassie wasn’t sitting next to her. That was good; it meant he could wait outside and catch her before she went in.
He tried to control the nerves that were going haywire around his body. For this to work he had to stay cool. He stuck his head around the door again and stole another glimpse of Rachel. He was looking for some indication of her mood.
Usually, girls that had new boyfriends walked around the school looking smug and superior but there was none of that showing on Rachel’s face. He couldn’t imagine her doing that sort of thing anyway. Her face looked its usual sad beautiful self.
The bell rang again to signal the start of lessons but there was still no sign of Cassie. Clive was the only person who hadn’t gone in yet.
‘Are you joining us today, Clive?’ asked Mrs Edmunds the English teacher. She had kind blue eyes and brown basin-shaped hair.
‘Er, yeah,’ said Clive. ‘I was just waiting for Cassie.’
‘She’s ill today.’
Damn it, thought Clive. He paused for a second trying to think of what to do. Now there was no way he could find out about the weekend. He’d have to try and find the information some other way. Clive took a deep breath and walked into the classroom. As he passed Rachel he went for it.
‘Hi Rachel, how are you? Good weekend?’
‘Fine,’ she said in a small voice without looking up.
Something was definitely wrong, but that was a good thing. Now there was a strong possibility the whole thing with Lewis hadn’t gone well. The glummer Rachel was, the better the outlook for Clive
‘What did you get up to?’ asked Clive, trying to tease more out of her.
‘Not much.’
This was the response he had hoped for. Rachel clearly didn’t want to talk and unless someone close to her had just died, he was ninety nine percent sure she’d had a bad weekend. And if she’d had a bad weekend then hopefully Lewis had something to do with it. Clive was still in the running. He sat down behind her and couldn’t help breaking into a massive smile.
‘What are you grinning at, Clive?’ asked Mrs Edmunds.
‘Nothing.’ Clive dropped his smile immediately. Rachel looked around and stared at him, puzzled.
‘Would you like to share it with the class?’ asked Mrs Edmunds.
‘No, no, I’m good,’ said Clive.
‘Okay. Everyone turn to chapter twelve. Clive, seeing as you’re in a good mood would you like to start reading please.’
Clive did as he was told but his mind was elsewhere. Rachel looked like she was in a foul mood. Normally he’d be worried about her and would want to cheer her up, but today was the best Monday morning he’d ever had.
Eventually the bell rang. Like a group of meerkats, everyone jumped up and tried to get out of the class as quickly as possible. As Rachel was about to shuffle out of her desk, Clive seized his chance.
‘Rachel,’ he said.
As she stopped and looked around at him with the full gaze of her rich brown eyes, all Clive’s confidence disappeared faster than air from a popped balloon.
‘What is it?’ she asked.
Clive swallowed hard and told himself to hold it together.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ he managed to say. He pulled out the clear sleeve containing the manuscript and held it up in front of her.
Rachel looked confused. ‘What is it?’ she repeated.
‘It’s something I’ve written.’
‘Okay,’ she said, as if waiting for the next piece of the puzzle.
‘I was wondering if you would read it and tell me what you think.’
‘Sure.’ Rachel took the story out of Clive’s hand, put it her bag, then turned and disappeared from the classroom. And that was that.
He hadn’t said any of the things he wanted to. When the moment had finally come, he had chickened out again and not told her why he’d written it or anything about his feelings. There was that saying about the plans of mice and men going wrong, and today Clive had certainly been a mouse. He had simply sat there, mumbled a few words and let her walk out of the classroom. When he had imagined this moment happening in his head, it all seemed so easy. But reality was a cruel bitch and had never made anything easy for him.
Clive slumped at his desk as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He’d worked all weekend for this and it was over in a matter of seconds, like a damp firework. There was no big event or fanfare, no flashing lights and certainly no girl rushing into his arms. Nothing had changed and he was back to where he was before – nowhere.
Chapter 8
*
Every day since the party, Lewis had become more and more irritable. He felt restless and itchy, like he was supposed to do something but couldn’t figure out what it was. He wanted to get in contact with Rachel to find out what had happened to her and if she was okay. But he had no way of doing that. He hadn’t thought to get her number or her email address. He didn’t even know her second name. There was no starting point for him, it was like trying to find the end of the Sellotape.
He was in uncharted territory. Lewis’ popularity with girls meant he’d never had to ask for a number or an email address, they’d just given it to him. Like a knee-jerk reaction, it would just happen automatically. This was the first time someone had simply walked away from him. He felt rejected and it was horrible. Firstly, because that’s what being rejected feels like and secondly, because it was new experience and he wasn’t used to it. Rachel was turning out to be a learning curve for him and it was getting steeper all the time. At any moment he felt he would slide right back to the bottom again, if he wasn’t there already.
He had to get in touch somehow, otherwise he’d lose his mind. There were no links back to her whatsoever. He looked on Facebook but she wasn’t on it and neither was Cassie. He tried Friends Reunited, Myspace, Twitter, Bebo and even Youtube. Nothing. She was off the grid. A ghost. Had he dreamed her? She was an enigma, and that only made her more attractive and mysterious.
Lewis lay on his bed and replayed everything back in his head from start to finish. From the moment he met her in Books ‘n’ Beans, to the time he left her on the beach. He analysed every word and conversation to see if it y
ielded any clues. It was painful because he remembered everything he had said. It all sounded so ridiculous, partly because Lewis had never really thought about the things he said. His words had never really bothered him before but now they made him feel self-conscious and insecure. Pandora’s box was well and truly open.
He winced when he thought of what he’d come out with. Especially when he thought about what was said on the beach and, more importantly, what wasn’t. He’d told her she was good looking, which was definitely too strong and then he’d followed it up with silence. No wonder the girl was uncomfortable and wanted to leave.
Lewis couldn’t do this anymore; he had to get out and move around. At least then he would feel like he was doing something. He decided to drive into town and go to Books ‘n’ Beans, where they had first met. He didn’t expect she’d be there of course, the chances of that were far too remote. But it was all he had. Lewis thought maybe he could go there every day until she appeared again. A stupid idea - they had met purely by chance. But he would do it if he had no other option.
Walking into the book store, he began browsing around. He then remembered where he’d seen her - the Twilight section. He found it easily enough and stared at the books. She’d really been into these. Lewis picked one of them up at random and began reading the jacket blurb. It was all coming back to him now. The book was about Edward and Bella – that’s what Rachel had said. He was a vampire and they were in love. Lewis held on to the book affectionately. At the moment it was the only thing he had that connected him with Rachel.
Just then one of the store assistants came along and started stacking the shelves with new titles. Something clicked in Lewis’ mind. He remembered there had been someone else here with them last Saturday, apart from Cassie. It was a guy who worked here, who seemed to know them. Lewis had borrowed a pen off of him. Maybe he knew how to get in contact with her.
‘Excuse me,’ Lewis said. Then he noticed her name badge, ‘Lynn.’ She was as tall as him, and had an elegant slim figure.
‘Yes can I help you?’
‘Were you working here last Saturday?’
‘Yes, I was.’
‘There was a guy working here with brown wavy hair.’
‘That sounds like Clive.’
‘Yeah, I need to speak with him urgently. You couldn’t give me his number could you?’
‘No, I’m sorry we can’t give out employees’ numbers to customers, but he’ll be in on Saturday if you need to speak to him.’
‘Saturday. That’s great. You’ve been very helpful, thank you.’
Lewis smiled at Lynn who gave him a big smile back. For a few seconds Lewis felt his old charm return. But then Lewis could be charming around girls he wasn’t bothered about. It was just the one girl who seemed to tie his tongue in uncomfortable knots.
Saturday was only a few days away. Lewis could wait until then.
*
Rachel hadn’t said anything much to Clive all week and she certainly hadn’t mentioned the story he had written. It seemed she was doing very little talking to anyone. All her replies were monosyllabic and she rarely made eye contact. Something had definitely happened at the weekend and Clive still had no idea what it was. Cassie had been off sick all week, so he couldn’t even ask her about it. He thought about calling her, as the mystery was driving him insane but he thought that might be too insensitive.
Clive was in a weird sort of limbo. After the brief high of writing his story, fuelled by adrenalin and desire, it had all come to nothing and left him feeling weary and anxious. He wanted Rachel to say something. Even telling him that his story was crap would have been better than silence. At least it would have given him something to deal with or react against or get angry at. Instead there was a big empty hollow feeling, like waiting for a plane that was delayed. It was dead time. The best he could hope for was that Cassie would be back on Monday, and could enlighten him about the whole situation. Until then he had the weekend to get through.
Saturday finally came around and Clive was pleased to be going to work for the distraction. The last thing he needed was more time to think about Rachel. Over the past few days he had run through every conceivable outcome in his head. He needed something to take his mind off things. Being surrounded by books and pointing customers to the travel section would do the trick. Why did people always get lost trying to find the travel section?
As he got off the bus and walked to work, his spirits picked up slightly. A change of scenery would do him good and he was looking forward to a busy day. As he got closer to Books ‘n’ Beans he saw a strange and unexpected sight. There, sitting on a bench outside the store, was Lewis. What was he doing here? He was the last person he wanted to see. Clive slowed down. There was no way he could get to work without walking past him.
Clive thought about turning around and calling in sick, but his conscience wouldn’t let him. Instead, he put his head down and walked purposefully towards the store, pretending he hadn’t seen him. Anyway, Clive didn’t even know him, so what was there to fear? He doubted Lewis would remember him, he’d been so focused on Rachel the last time he was here. Clive nearly made it to the entrance when a friendly voice called out to him.
‘Clive.’
Clive stopped and turned around to face Lewis who was now bounding towards him with a handsome smile on his face. It was easy to see why Rachel liked him.
‘Yes,’ Clive said weakly.
‘Hi, I don’t know if you remember me but I was here last Saturday.’
‘I think so,’ Clive lied.
‘Oh good. You’re a friend of Rachel’s aren’t you?’
‘Yes, yes, I am.’
‘Great. Listen I need to get in contact with her urgently and I was wondering if you had her mobile number’
‘Er, no I don’t, I’m afraid,’ Clive lied again.
‘Okay, what about her email.’
‘Sorry, I don’t know her that well.’
‘Damn it.’
Clive was surprised at Lewis’ sudden change in mood.
‘Are you sure you don’t know how to get in contact with her?’ Lewis asked.
‘No, I’m sorry.’
‘What about her house? Do you know where she lives?’
‘I don’t know.’ Clive’s lies were starting to make him feel uncomfortable. He very rarely lied but now he had told five in a row. ‘I’m sorry I can’t help.’ He decided to make a quick getaway and bolted straight into the store. If he stood here answering any more of Lewis’ questions it would mean making more things up and it would all get far too complicated.
Clive headed for the security of the staffroom and hung his bag up on a peg. Maybe Lewis would disappear if Clive waited here long enough. He felt like a terrible coward but what could he do? Lewis was the enemy, wasn’t he? You didn’t help your enemies.
Sitting in the staff room, he thought about the way he’d lied. It had come easily to him but now he was getting a guilty conscience. Plus, if Lewis did eventually catch up with Rachel, he would certainly tell her how he’d asked Clive for her number. Rachel would then know he’d lied and that would make him look sneaky and untrustworthy – something he knew Rachel abhorred. Clive tried to push this thought out of his mind but it kept returning like a wretched boomerang.
He stood up, put on his name badge and walked to the tills at the front of the store. Through the window he could see Lewis still sitting on the bench. It looked like he would be there all day.
Clive pulled his mobile out of his pocket, found Rachel’s number and hit the call button. He walked up to Lewis who looked surprised to see him and handed him the phone.
‘It’s ringing.’
Lewis took the phone and suddenly his eyes twinkled when he saw Rachel’s name on the screen with the little phone icon wobbling.
‘Thank you so much, I really appreciate this.’
Clive had thought Lewis might’ve be angry at him for lying, but he seemed overcome with happiness.
; Clive was probably going to regret this. Anyone else would have thought it was a stupid move. If it was the other way around, Lewis probably wouldn’t have done the same. But that was the difference between him and Lewis. Clive always did the right thing and that thought made him feel slightly better.
Clive moved away from Lewis to make it appear like he was giving him some privacy, but he stayed within earshot so he could hear the conversation. He may have given away his advantage by handing Lewis the phone but his goodwill wasn’t endless. At least he could get some benefit from this situation and find out what was going on.
‘Hi, hello, Rachel, is that you?’ Lewis said. ‘No, it’s not Clive. I’ve just borrowed his phone. It’s Lewis, you know, from the party.’
This seemed to be a different Lewis from the one Clive had encountered a week ago. The impossibly cool dude who had smoothed his way around Rachel now stumbled over his words like a two year old in stilettos. Perhaps the playing field was a little more level than Clive had first thought.
‘… yeah, I hope you don’t mind me calling you. Listen, I didn’t get to say goodbye to you the other night and I wanted to just check, you know, that you were okay.’
There was a long pause. Clive could hear the small tinny disembodied voice of Rachel on the other end of the line, but he had no idea what she was saying.
‘…Oh, I’m glad you enjoyed it,’ Lewis continued. ‘Er, Rachel, I was wondering if, I mean, could I meet up with you? How about today? You are? Well that’s great. I’m in town at the moment. Yeah, fantastic. I’ll see you then. Bye.’
Lewis hung up and handed the phone back. Clive took it and wanted to twist it and smash it into to little pieces. Why the hell had he allowed Lewis to get in contact with Rachel? He was supposed to be keeping them apart, not matchmaking. His stupid warped sense of fair play had shafted him again. Well, he only had himself to blame, and blaming himself was something Clive was an expert at.
‘Thanks, man. I really appreciate that,’ said Lewis.
‘No problem,’ Clive replied. Even though he wasn’t looking at him he could feel Lewis’ puzzled stare boring into his skull.
Faye Meredith - Becoming Edward Page 7