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by Hans-Ake Lilja


  Homecoming by Joe Dante

  If Jenifer is the best episode, Homecoming is probably the slowest one of the six mentioned here. It’s a typical Twilight Zone episode in which a man wishes a soldier was able to return from the dead to save face on a TV show.

  And, surprise, that is just what happens. The only thing is that he is not coming alone. All of the soldiers who have died in war return from their graves and demand, not as you might expect—brains—but instead demand an end to the war.

  Cigarette Burns by John Carpenter

  We have the best (Jenifer) and the slowest (Homecoming) episodes of the six reviewed here…and here is the most disturbing one. Cigarette Burns is very good, but also very disturbing. It tells the story of Kirby, who is hired by people to find things that no one else can find. One day Udo wants him to find a movie…a very special movie named Le fin absolue du Monde.

  What neither Kirby nor Udo know is that once you start the movie, there is no going back; you have now opened the gates to Hell and what you see won’t be pretty…

  In the U.S. these DVDs are released by Anchor Bay and in Sweden they are released by Njutafilms, and I want to thank both companies for sending the review copies.

  All of the DVDs have a lot of extra material, such as behind-the-scenes, interviews and trailers. The U.S. editions, however, have a bit more than the Swedish editions, such as commentary tracks by the directors and cast.

  Lilja’s final words about Masters of Horror 1-6

  I would suggest that you get all of these DVD’s, but if you’re only going to get a few of them, make sure you get Jenifer and Cigarette Burns. You won’t be disappointed.

  ****

  Masters of Horror 7-10

  Posted: August 24, 2006

  So, four more episodes of Masters of Horrors have been released on DVD (some in the U.S. and all four in Sweden). Among these four we get to see the episode by Mick Garris, the man behind the project, and the episode (Imprint) that was so gruesome it couldn’t be aired on TV.

  I have just seen them and I’ll tell you what I think of them, and if Imprint in fact could have been shown on TV.

  Including these episodes, I have seen ten of the thirteen episodes so far, and the general feeling I get is that they are good and have a style that makes them connect with each other. It is really like a series and not just a bunch of movies that have been put together. I don’t know if Garris had that in mind when he decided which stories should be included (I guess he did), but either way, it’s the case.

  So, with that said, let’s get on with the four episodes I have seen this time…

  The Fair-Haired Child by William Malone

  The Fair-Haired Child is about Tara, who finds herself kidnapped in a basement together with a boy she doesn’t know. As it turns out the boy, Johnny, is in fact the son of the kidnappers and the reason he is down in the basement with Tara is because his parents made a terrible mistake when he was a child. A mistake that cost Johnny his life, and now Tara is his ticket back…

  The special effects in this one are really good, and when the monster in the basement moves it does so in a jerky way that makes it so much more frightening. The plot is pretty classical though. Two parents who want to help their child because they messed up, no matter what the costs are.

  As usual, the plan backfires though, and in The Fair-Haired Child it backfires in a very satisfying way…

  Chocolate by Mick Garris

  Newly divorced Jamie awakes one night with a strong taste of chocolate in his mouth. At first he can’t understand what’s happening and dismisses it as a dream. Not long after that though, other strange things are starting to happen. He is starting to get short glimpses/flashbacks of someone else’s life. He is actually seeing things through a total stranger’s eyes…

  As times passes and these flashes keep appearing, he finds himself falling in love with this unknown woman. Jamie gets possessed by the idea that he has to meet her. That she is his dream woman, his soul mate. In a brutal way he sees that that may not be the case though…

  This is a very sexy story with a touch more of the supernatural than horror. It’s nonetheless a very interesting story, and the fact that Garris is using one of his favorite actors, Henry Thomas, makes me very happy. Thomas is a very good actor. You can also see Henry Thomas in Garris’s Desperation and in the episode “The End of the Whole Mess” from Nightmares & Dreamscapes earlier this year.

  Deer Woman by John Landis

  Deer Woman by Landis is probably the episode with the most comedy in it. As a police detective who is assigned to the animal attack unit on the force starts investigating a series of brutal murders where the victim seems to have been beaten to death with a deer leg, he realizes that it may actually be a series of animal attacks after all, and that the perpetrator might not be human…

  After hearing the legend about Deer Woman, he is convinced that it’s Deer Woman who is his perpetrator. Of course, his colleagues laugh at him, but as more victims start to appear he gets more convinced that he is right, and one night he gets his hoof, sorry, proof.

  This is a horror episode with a lot of comedy in it. It’s hard to take it seriously, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an entertaining episode. I will admit though that I laughed more than I screamed…

  Imprint by Takashi Miike

  So, we have reached Imprint by Takashi, and I can tell you this much: I do understand why they didn’t want to air it on TV. It’s a very gruesome episode that includes incest, abortion and rape. Nothing you want to have with your TV dinner, in other words.

  How was the story itself though, one might ask, if you look past all the gore. Well, it was actually quite good. And believe me, there is a story. It’s not just gore in this one. The story is about an American journalist who is looking for his long lost love. During his search he arrives at a far away island where you can, for a small amount, be entertained by the local women. During his stay there he meets a woman who knows what happened to the love of his life…and as it turns out, her fate isn’t pretty…

  As with the previous six DVDs I have reviewed, these four also have a lot of extra material. That is one of the biggest differences between Masters of Horror and a regular TV series released on DVD: since these are released one episode at a time there is room for more extra material than if they had all been crammed into a box set. On the downside, the price is higher though, but I leave it up to you to decide which is most valued, the price or the material on the DVD…

  Lilja’s final words about Masters of Horror 7-10

  All in all these episodes are very enjoyable and I recommend that you see them all, and while you’re watching Deer Woman, keep an eye out for a cameo by Mick Garris…

  ****

  Masters of Horror 11-13

  Posted: September 14, 2006

  So, it’s time for the last three episodes of season one of Masters of Horror. As with the other episodes, these three also give me the feeling that they are all part of the same series. Not that they are the same, but that they all have the same feeling. As a matter of fact, all thirteen episodes in the series have the same feeling. Very well done.

  And with that said, over to this review’s episodes:

  Dance of the Dead by Tobe Hooper

  Dance of the Dead is Tobe Hoper’s episode of Masters of Horror and it’s a rather classical horror movie, but also a critical look at the U.S.A. After a third world war has taken place, the world is an inferno. Cities have been destroyed and people are living on the streets.

  In the middle of this we find Peggy, who lives in the secure environment of a coffee shop that she runs with her mother. She really has no idea of how the world works today, but one day a boy from the streets gets her to leave the safety of the coffee shop and follow him out on the streets…

  Once she is out there she learns the hard way that the world has moved on and that nothing is like she remembers it. The number one form of entertainment is something called Dance of the D
ead. And the Dance of the Dead is just what it sounds like: dead people who dance. MC, very nicely played by Robert Englund, resurrects dead girls that then get electric shocks to make them twitch until they fall down dead again. Entertainment deluxe…

  And as if that wasn’t enough, the ending holds a terrible truth for Peggy…and an even worse fate for her mother…

  Pick Me Up by Larry Cohen

  Pick Me Up is a movie about two serial murderers whose paths accidentally cross each other out in the middle of nowhere. A bus has broken down and the passengers are about to become easy prey for the villains.

  Both men are clearly psychopaths and very sadistic. They have no sympathy for their victims whatsoever. In the middle of all this death and chaos one passenger seems to walk away unaware of all that is going on though. Unfortunately, Stacia is about to find out…the hard way.

  When I watched this episode I got the same feeling I got when watching the old Friday the 13th movies: a madman and a bunch of kids being slaughtered. The difference here, though, is that the madman doesn’t look like a monster…

  And, to my happiness, the ending is totally unexpected. I love it.

  Haeckel’s Tale by John McNaughton

  In Haeckel’s Tale we meet young Ernst Haeckel, who is obsessed with bringing the dead back to life. One night, on his way to his father’s deathbed, he needs to seek shelter for the night; he does so with an old man and his young wife. As it turns out the wife still loves her ex-husband; in fact, she is still meeting him to have sex. The only problem is that he is dead…

  This episode is full of special effects, some not the best, but most are quite good. The zombies makeup is nicely done except for the infants, who could be a bit better. They look a bit too much like melted dolls. The actors are all unknown (to me), but are still delivering what’s expected of them.

  It feels like this episode is heavily influenced by Romero’s zombie movies. I’m not sure it’s as good as Romero’s, but it’s definitely worth checking out, and as an episode in Masters of Horror it’s right at home.

  Lilja’s final words about Masters of Horror 11-13

  As usual with the Masters of Horror episodes, we get loads of extra material. Here we get interviews, behind-the-scenes, “the making of a scene” and more. So, whatever you do, don’t miss these last episodes (or the earlier ones for that matter) of season one. Oh, and season two premieres next month in the U.S.

  ****

  Heart-Shaped Box

  Posted: February 25, 2007

  Heart-Shaped Box is one of the better debut novels I have had the pleasure of reading. It’s written by Joe Hill. Hill, as probably everyone knows by now, is the son of Stephen King, but that is the only time I’m going to mention his father in this review. Why? Well, for the simple reason that Hill is good enough to be judged on his own merits rather than on who his father happens to be.

  In Heart-Shaped Box we get to meet Judas Coyne, a former rock’n’roll star who now has reached his mid-50s, and even though he isn’t in a band anymore he is still living the rock’n’roll lifestyle. He keeps himself young with girlfriends that he has the habit of naming after the state they are from, instead of their real names. How about that?

  He’s also a collector of the macabre, and has everything from a snuff movie to a cookbook for cannibals. So, when he sees an ad for a ghost on the Internet he can’t resist buying it. And that is a mistake he will live to regret. As it turns out the ghost is very much real, and what’s even worse is that the ghost wants Jude dead. The ghost is the stepfather of one of Jude’s “states” and after she committed suicide he is now here to seek revenge for her.

  Hill has managed to put together a really good story. It’s one of those books you have a hard time putting down even though you have to if you don’t want to spend the entire night reading. It gets ahold of you almost from the first page and doesn’t let go…until you turn the last page.

  I had the fortune to both read it and listen to it. Besides being released in hardcover, Heart-Shaped Box is also out on audio. The audio is narrated by Stephen Lang and is about eleven hours long. Lang is very talented, and even though I haven’t heard anything he has narrated before, I really like the way he narrates Heart-Shaped Box. It doesn’t leave much else to ask for. It’s very good, in other words, as good as the book itself!

  Lilja’s final words about Heart-Shaped Box

  So, as I said, Hill’s Heart-Shaped Box is a very strong debut novel and already I’m curious to see what he’ll do next. And, if you have only read the book, I can highly recommend that you check out the audio. Personally, I can’t wait for his next book!

  ****

  Development Hell

  Posted: April 10, 2007

  Mick Garris’s book Development Hell is a book like no other. It goes from strange to even stranger, but in a rather interesting way.

  It tells the story of a young filmmaker who is somewhat of a failure in the movie business and constantly struggles to get the success he feels he deserves. At first he gets a taste of it, but then he loses it even faster when he involves a deformed “child” in his next movie.

  He then gets an idea for a TV show that can’t be anything other than a success in Hollywood. It’s a kind of reality show where people will get filmed while they commit suicide…and he himself will be the first participant.

  This happens fairly early in the book, and if this was what it seemed the story would end there. That is not the case though. Our young filmmaker soon discovers that there is an afterlife and that he is now living it.

  The problem is that it’s not what he had hoped for…he hadn’t hoped for an afterlife in the first place. It’s boring, and he begins to miss the touch of other humans. Soon though, he discovers that he can actually see other ghosts if he wants to, and once he learns how to do that the afterlife gets a bit more interesting…but still very complicated.

  The other ghosts, with Alfred Hitchcock leading the way, teach him how to “piggyback” on a living person. That means he enters that person’s body without the person living in it noticing his presence. He can also take over the body and control it fully. This he does twice and both times it ends with disaster…to say the least.

  The main character in Development Hell gets involved in so many different events that when you’re at the end of the book the things happening in the beginning almost feel like they’re from a different book. It covers everything from a deformed “baby” to a woman’s body with a male soul in it being impregnated by him/herself, everything in between and a lot of sex.

  Development Hell is a mix of horror, sex, satire and criticism of the American lifestyle, especially the Hollywood lifestyle…all very nicely put together in a nice mix and then spread over the pages of the book.

  Lilja’s final words about Development Hell

  Development Hell is definitely a book you should check out. I know I said it contains a bit of criticism of the American lifestyle, but please don’t take that as a sign that it’s a hard book to read. It’s written in a very easy style and takes you on a ride through Hollywood you won’t soon forget.

  Part 5 - Review: Movies

  Section 1—The TV

  Rose Red

  Posted: December 27, 2001

  Rose Red (Episode 1)

  (Around 1 hour 25 minutes without commercials)

  This first episode gives us an introduction to all of the characters and their backgrounds. We learn that Joyce Reardon (Nancy Travis) has set out to do an expedition to the haunted house Rose Red. To get the house to open up to her she brings with her six unique people who all have some kind on power. It can be telepathy, telekinesis, touch-know psychic ability, the ability to see into the future, the ability to see what has happened in the past and so on.

  The six she brings with her are Nick (Julian Sands), Victor (Kevin Tighe), Emery (Matt Ross), Pam (Julia Campbell), Cathy (Judith Ivey) and the most important one, Annie (Kimberly Brown). Along for the ride, besides these si
x and Joyce, are also Ellen and John Rimbauer’s grandchild, Steven Rimbauer (Matt Keeslar), and Annie’s sister, Rachel “Sister” (Melanie Lynskey).

  We also get the background of Rose Red itself. We get to hear the story of Ellen and John Rimbauer, their children, Adam and April, and Ellen’s servant, Sukeena. The story takes place both in the present (2001) and the past (the early 1900s).

  There are (of course) also some people who don’t agree with what Joyce is doing. The one that is most negative is Professor Miller at the university where Joyce teaches. He does everything in his power to sabotage her. He has the school newspaper reporter, Bollinger, help him by following the expedition into Rose Red and documenting all of the craziness.

  King throws in a connection to his real life in the form of one of Joyce’s students, whose name is Spruce, the same last name that Tabitha King had before she married King.

  Rose Red (Episode 2)

  (Around 1 hour 25 minutes without commercials)

  In episode two things heat up a bit; things start to happen inside Rose Red. The search for ghosts and spirits goes on, and now we start getting to see some of them more closely. We also learn more about Rose Red and the Rimbauers’ family history.

  The characters are beginning to develop. If the first episode’s purpose was to let us get to know the characters better, the second’s is to let the characters grow on us and we can decide whom we like and don’t like. For example, at first I really thought the character of Emery was a bit over the top. The character wasn’t one that I thought fit in the story. In the second episode, I’m starting to enjoy him though. I agree that he is an obnoxious person, but he is obnoxious in an interesting way. He is Rose Red’s version of Mr. Toomy from The Langoliers.

 

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